#boutardieu

[askhubertvonvestra]

It's a shame Garreg Mach Academy never had a Parent-Teacher Conference, isn't it? I mean, just imagine... Berdanetta's father and the Black Eagles on the same terrace... Near a windy parapet... Overlooking such a high and steep cliff... Oh, to have been a fly on that wall! Anything could have happened. The possibilities are truly endless...

Hm. A shame indeed. I’m confident the Black Eagles would have been delighted to show the former Lord Varley about the grounds, from its highest terraces to its lowest cliffsides. In that order directly. For who can control the whims of the wind? Greater tragedies have befallen greater people.

Still... I cannot complain about the course we’ve taken. I revel in knowing that he has been stripped of all power, placed under house arrest, and answering to his wife. She is not much better than him, but it is amusing to imagine his torment in being subservient to his spouse. And, should he wish to bring it all to an end, he can merely set foot outside his estate.

I’ve reason to believe another whimsical wind will have its way in that event.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Lord Vestra,

There's a petition going around which states that booty shorts should be part of the Imperial Army's male corps' official uniform. Some argue that such a measure would be "beneficial for morale". What is your opinion on this topic of foremost national importance?

PS: Said petition also states that His Excellency, the Honourable Prime Minister Ferdinand von Aegir, should also wear booty shorts a a way to "lead by example" and "encourage more women in the Empire to join the army". Do you believe in such a strategy and, should His Excellency refuse to do so... Would you take on his burden?

That is categorically moronic.

The Imperial Army must be ready for battle at a moment’s notice. We cannot predict when there might be an ambush or any crisis that needs immediate attention. They simply cannot take the very real risk of wearing something so exposing in a combat situation. Furthermore, the only way this petition could be considered anywhere near the foremost national importance is to save life and limb for our soldiers by dismissing this notion soundly.

We have dancers in our employ. They can elect to remain far from the front lines, and they can improve morale on their own. I have every confidence in them, as should our citizens.

While Ferdinand and... assorted company... would hardly object to the request that he himself wear this attire, I don’t see how this encourages enrollment or demonstrates anything other than... Never mind. This line of reasoning, if you can call it that, is a waste of your time and mine.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Can you share your thoughts on Lindhart's and Caspar's dads? They did take part in the insurrection which caused so much grief to Emperor Edelgard, yet now they're her political allies. Have you spared them out of sheer calculation? Or do you believe their redemption is sincere?

I can. Their infighting is their signature trait, at least in one another’s company. But it does suggest that they are capable of functioning in a professional capacity while their close colleague is one who constantly challenges and rejects their suggestions. As they are constantly locked in this feud, their motions are actually far more functional than those from the more corrupt nobility. Neither one walks away fully happy, and so, the most needs are met for the population at large. They understand this, as they have never sought to resort to subterfuge or conspiracy to have their way.

At least until my father and the Prime Minister approached them for the Insurrection. They may have been able to stand against one or the other, but opposing the two central figureheads beside the throne was tantamount to signing their own death warrants. 

It does not excuse them, but I do believe their redemption is sincere. Separated from seditious influences, they are free to return to their bickering that furthers the Empire’s cause. So it is a combination of both belief in their reformation and calculative strategy. They are useful, so they can remain in their positions as long as they prove their merit.

I do suspect that Caspar’s father will be happy to resign and retire once the time comes, however. Noble pressures have fractured his large family. Stepping down from the role to make room for an elected replacement will free him to live his own life. I’m not sure Linhardt’s parents would be so enthusiastic about having time to themselves away from the court.

[I am also biased in favor of Caspar’s dad, lol. Ever since I wrote him in a shippy/angsty AU fic, I just love him.]

[askhubertvonvestra]

How do you clean blood off a carpet? Asking for a "friend".

A friend, is it? Well, your friend can rest assured that you have come to an authority on the matter.

Firstly, absorb what you can by blotting with a cloth rather than scrubbing. Scrubbing motions will only make the stain more noticeable. From there, you should lay down a generous coat of baking soda, followed by a small amount of water. Be mindful never to use hot water, which will only serve to set the stain in. It is at this point that you would scrub the stain, this time with a wet cloth, until the stain is gone.

For an especially stubborn stain, you might consider hydrogen peroxide. It’s frowned upon by the Church, so difficult to obtain, and you must be cautious that it doesn’t bleach your carpet... But a bleach spot is easier to explain, naturally.

If fragrance is an issue, find a well with a nearby bench, and you are likely to find an abundance of soapwort as well. The floral, sweet aroma will attest to simply cleaning, and any prying types will have no reason to inquire beyond that.

[askhubertvonvestra]

I've heard you like board games, which doesn't surprise me; they relieve tension, yes, but they also develop the mind! Very time-efficient. My question is: of all the chess players you had the honor of challenging at Garreg Mach Academy, who was the best? I've heard that Her Majesty Edelgard, Claude, Yuri and Sylvain were pretty good in their times. I also wonder if they've ever beaten you...

Ah, a fellow board game player, are you? Or perhaps simply astute. Either one is commendable. Stress relief is a regrettable necessity, but no one ever claimed it had to be unproductive.

Regarding the chess players I’ve had matches with, I would say the player’s difficult to beat in order would be: Yuri, Claude, Lady Edelgard, and Sylvain. Yuri’s strategy is versatile, and Claude adapts quickly to the person he plays against. Her Majesty’s competitive spirit exceeds her skill, but they are both considerable. Sylvain might be more of a threat in the games if he dropped his ‘flirty absent-minded’ act to apply himself.

For those who have beaten me, Linhardt and the professor managed it, as has Yuri. Once in a while, they may boast about it. As friends do.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Who would you rather fight: one Raphael-sized Bernadetta or two Bernadetta-sized Raphaels?

That is simpler than you would expect. Two Bernadetta-sized Raphaels would need to get close enough to be a threat. As a mage, keeping brawling opponents at a distance is simple fundamentals. A Raphael-sized Bernadetta may still present a true danger to me by comparison, and therefore, the choice makes itself.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Oh no, watch out! This bull escaped from the stables! And it's coming straight towards Lorenz's china collection! What should we do?

What we had a bull for, I can only imagine--

Take what you can of the china, side step the bull, and run in the opposite direction. Their turn radius is limited. If it closes in, zig zag to disrupt the beast. I will handle the rest. Get yourself to safety above all else, and ensure Lorenz doesn’t come to check on his china. He may fuss about it, as his noble sensibilities decree.

Do not let him leave. I will come to find you.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Lord Vestra, following recent studies I would like to disclose to you an hypothesis regarding the nature of the Agarthians. It has indeed been theorized that these strange creatures are not able to take the shape of any crest-bearing human. Somehow the wrath of the dragons living through their blood and flesh is likely to reject the Argathian trying to take over the body. This would have the merit to explain why Those Who Slither In The Dark have not been able to replace Emperor Edelgard with one of their own. This also calls into question the motives of Saint Seiros when she established a strict aristocracy based on the possession of a crest. Was she, perhaps, making sure that the rulers of Fodlan were immune to this form of body-snatching? Food for thoughts.

It is an interesting hypothesis. The inability to take the shape of anyone with a Crest would certainly fit the narrative from the Church of Seiros, what with the wrath of dragons being easily interchanged with the wrath of the goddess. It could also explain why no Agarthans have impersonated a Crest-bearing individual previously, although I would suspect it has more to do with their inclination to operate in secrecy. These are prominent political figures, and while they have gotten close to seats of power before as with Cornelia, they are cautious to avoid central players in the politics of Fódlan. Even Rhea is not so self-absorbed as to ignore drastic changes in national leaders. 

At present, Her Majesty still offers them the power necessary to further their own agenda. They wouldn’t replace her just yet regardless. It would be a comfort if the theory were true, however.

You do present a fairly sound theory with Seiros as well. Banned texts reveal that not all Crest bearers were originally allies of Seiros, yet they were pushed into roles of nobility in various nations. This may have been influenced by Emperor Wilhelm already holding a throne and a Crest when Nemesis fell, presenting an opportunity to create a more unified system that wouldn’t call his own abilities into question... But there can be more than one motive for an act, wouldn’t you agree?

It would also give Those Who Slither in the Dark more reason than ever to complete their blood reconstruction surgery without disastrous effects. If they could assume someone’s form, then bestow a Crest on themselves, it would nullify this line of defense.

The theory is worth investigating.