#mentioned raphael

[askhubertvonvestra]

Who would you rather fight: one Raphael-sized Bernadetta or two Bernadetta-sized Raphaels?

That is simpler than you would expect. Two Bernadetta-sized Raphaels would need to get close enough to be a threat. As a mage, keeping brawling opponents at a distance is simple fundamentals. A Raphael-sized Bernadetta may still present a true danger to me by comparison, and therefore, the choice makes itself.

[asksylvain]

Sylvain I dare you to hug any of the Golden Deer that you think should have a hug.

Any of the Golden Deer, huh? Well, that’s Marianne for sure. If she wants a hug, of course! Respecting boundaries and all that. I can wait.

Anyway, Claude probably needs at least one hug after all that he’s been through keeping the Alliance together as long as he has, so he gets one too. I don’t know him well or anything, but it sounds like a lot for one person to do. Especially not even growing up with nobles like that, he got no practice at all!

I’d say Lysithea too, but I’m pretty sure she’d seriously maim me before I got close enough. So maybe just the thought of it counts, yeah? Yeah.

Actually, let’s cover our bases and go for a group hug. War’s brutal, and I’m sure everyone could use the pick-me-up! 

I bet Raphael could literally pick us all up, being honest.

[askhubertvonvestra]

How strong are you, Hubert? You know... muscles, strength, stamina. Those sorts of stats. Surely someone with your career should at least have some sort of physical training done... you can't be all skin and bones under there 🤨

Stronger than I seem, but I suppose that’s not notable on account of being a mage. Muscularly, I’m certain you can tell I have nothing to boast about in relation to someone such as Caspar or Raphael. I have what one might refer to as a swimmer’s build. Most of my definition is in my torso, and I’ve no doubt you realize I have long arms and broad shoulders in proportion to the rest of my body.

Largely, my strength and stamina is applied to matters of stealth for the Empire and backup weaponry should my magic fail me. I’m capable of fighting with a spear or a bow, for example. So while I’m not “all skin and bones under there”, I’m not inclined to practice fisticuffs at any point in the future. It’s enough to carry Linhardt to a proper place to sleep when he’s elected to nap in the library, field, or wherever he happened to be when the mood struck.

Perhaps a relative comparison will help you comprehend my abilities.

Byleth, Edelgard, Jeritza, Bernadetta, Ferdinand, Caspar, and Petra have more physical strength than I do.

I am physically more powerful than Bernadetta, Dorothea, and Linhardt.

Stamina is a more complex trait to describe, as I can accomplish a great deal with remarkably little in the way of rest, healing, or sustenance... But in the strictest definition of resilience, Linhardt, Byleth, Edelgard, Jeritza, Ferdinand, Caspar, and Petra outmatch me.

Bernadetta, Dorothea, and I have approximately the same resilience, which should concern you more for their sake than for mine.

[askhubertvonvestra]

fuck marry kill but it’s the most random people i can think of: raphael, jeritza, sylvain

That... certainly is a random list.

For Raphael, I would reluctantly say fuck, if only because I would much rather not marry him and he deserves far better than an untimely death if it can be avoided. I take no personal issue with Raphael. While I would kill him if we crossed paths in battle, I have no particular interest in seeing him dead. It serves nothing.

Jeritza, I would be content to marry. Given how reversible the process is if necessary, I doubt he’d object, although he does have a worrisome fixation on death. I couldn’t eliminate the possibility that he would rather I kill him. Regardless, I would much rather not be the one responsible for taking his life. He deserves the opportunity to live his life despite his father’s exploitation of him and his sister when he was only a child.

I’m confident Sylvain would be entirely unsurprised to hear I am prepared to kill him. However, his death would increase tensions and inspire an unfortunate martyrdom in the Kingdom that would make the war more difficult rather than simpler, but removing a rather capable element from their forces would be notable. His takeaway would likely be that I regard him as capable, of course. At the end of this exercise, Sylvain is merely preferable to kill in comparison to the others.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Let's you have to carry out an assassination but you unfortunately happen to be sick that particular week. Who would you hire to do the deed in your stead: Dorothea, Petra, Felix, Caspar, Raphael, Jeritza or Yuri?

Overlooking the fact that I oversee a full force of assassins that I might send... Dorothea, Caspar, and Raphael are immediately out. Not because they are not capable, but because there is a brightness in them I wish to preserve. Felix and Petra are solid choices, but I would likewise rather they were spared the burden. They have endured enough.

The natural choices for someone to take my place in the role are Jeritza and Yuri. They are familiar with the task, and I often find them working in the shadows where I tend to our cause as it is. I am confident they would handle such an assignment deftly and for a fair price. Likely a favor in Yuri's case, and presumably nothing at all for Jeritza. Rather, nothing beyond his normal pay from the Empire.

We have an understanding between us that few others share, and I'm certain we would agree that is for the best.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Ha ha that sounds like Felix all right. So what about the former Golden Deer house got any embarrassing stories about them?

Heh. It truly does.

The Golden Deer house had no small amount of mishaps in their midst. It was nearly legend at Garreg Mach when Raphael made his blunder with his task to gather food for the monastery. He came back with nothing to show for it but having helped every individual between the village and the monastery with menial errands. Ones that left him so famished as to have eaten the very food he was meant to gather. But of course there are more that are not so widely known.

I would say the most embarrassing of them would be the time that Leonie was deceived into partaking in increasingly absurd challenges to prove herself as Jeralt’s finest understudy among a group of students who had not, in fact, apprenticed under him at all. Her fervor for the former captain to the Knight of Seiros was an undisputed fact that often earned her mockery. While he was a hero to many and admiration of him was commonplace, Leonie sought to position herself as one who admired him most.

The resulting squabbles and pranks were bound to follow. Although disciplinary action was taken against these troublemakers, it never seemed to dissuade them for long. Just as Leonie herself never seemed to learn to be more scrupulous about the people issuing her challenges.

[askhubertvonvestra]

What Edelgard is the shortest? I know how she feels cause I’m the shortest in my family Hubert. Are you taller than the former Golden Deer and Blue Lion students?

Yes. With her authoritative presence, I’m not surprised that came as a shock to you. I do believe her height causes her some dismay, as I said, and she could very well be grateful to have someone that will relate.

As for myself in relation to the other former students at Garreg Mach, Dedue and Raphael have always been taller. Lorenz and I stood at the same height, although with somewhat different builds. 

Dimitri may be as tall as I am now, despite being shorter in our time at Garreg Mach. I doubt he’d allow me to simply ask. I would surely be disagreeable to such a situation as well.

[askhubertvonvestra]

Would you rather: 1. Fight a feral Dimitri 1v1 with a training spear (no magic whatsoever) while he has Areadbhar (You're also nude). or 2. Fight Balthus, Raphael, and Dedue in a 3v1 hand to hand brawl (no magic, nothing that isn't punching/kickng) (You're nude in this one too) or 3. Accidentally spill a handful of water on Edelgard during mealtime

You have an unhealthy obsession with my nudity.

The only logical option is three, as the first would result in my death and the second would be both painful and humiliating. Her Majesty will forgive me for the gracelessness and my discomfort in that moment will be markedly less by comparison.

...Honestly, where did you even come up with such absurd notions? 

Forget that I asked.