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₊˚⊹⋆ THE INHERITANCE GAMES .ᐟ TOO HOT TO HANDLE AU ᯓ🌺₊˚⊹⋆

⤷ EPISODE ONE: INTROS AND INNUENDOS ˎˊ˗

maddie's musings: hii! welcome to the start of my ten-part, self-indulgent, very niche gift to the fandom. you may be wondering if this series are fics, headcanons, or just dialogue... and i'm happy to inform you it's a chaotic mix of all three! plus, i've sprinkled in direct too hot to handle and inheritance games references. have fun!

additional notes: you don't have to know a thing about too hot to handle before reading this au! and i've made all the characters more flirty for the sake of this au, but i am not purposefully trying to mischaracter or oversexualize them!! this series is very lowkey rohansav centric. also i've taken information on the characters from the wiki page, so i apologize for any mistakes!

warnings: trashy writing (to match the reality tv show vibes), fluff, suggestive innuendos, making out, TEMPORARY gigibrady as a ship, and rohan desperately needing a cold shower but can't take one because of his trauma!

word count: 7.9k+

taglist: @rainforcsts @stfu-syn @ghawthorneslove @landonkingsmclaren @p4nd4rii @reminiscentreader @averygrambsswife @hs4atm1dnight @starrytrax @liaisbroke

◁ tig! too hot to handle au masterlist ↻ next episode

welcome to lana's island retreat— where the guests are a little too unbelievably gorgeous, single, and freaky? yep, the new season's group of beautiful singles with problems keeping a relationship have arrived to play for the $250,000 prize fund! to win, all they have to do is find a person to grow a real, romantic connection with until the game ends. however, this might prove harder than it seems when the catch is that they can't engage in any sexual actions or else the money decreases. and this rule is enforced by an... alexa looking device? that's right! the digital hostess of the show, also known as lana, runs a strict program. she's definitely not afraid to walk in on these couples, test their loyalties, and make some eliminations! can these singles survive their time at the retreat by staying true to their partners, building a healthy relationship, and not blowing all the prize money in less than a day? get ready for cute moments and shocking twists (and turning down your screen brightness), it's all about to be too hot to handle! let's meet this season's contestants.

ROHAN london, UK rohan is 6'3, british-accented, and ready to heat this whole retreat up! this self proclaimed "magnificent bastard" is as flirty as he is determined to win the prized money.

JAMESON texas, USA jameson certainly puts the hot in too hot to handle, but his recklessness has landed him a ticket onto lana's island. with him around, it's easy to foresee a few rule breaks!

GRAYSON texas, USA grayson appears to be stable, loyal, and the perfect single, but is it possible that even he can be tempted? ladies, he's on the lookout for someone!

XANDER texas, USA xander's passion for blueberry scones and building machines will surely make him a fan favorite! he's in search of someone who can match his charismatic personality.

BRADY louisiana, USA brady's tall, dark, and cool appearance might make him popular, but if he can overcome past relationships is yet to be determined. still, it seems he falls quick and hard!

SAVANNAH arizona, USA savannah is blonde, quick-witted, and not at all worried about breaking some hearts if that's what it takes to win. watch out, because savannah's coming in hot for the victory!

AVERY connecticut, USA intelligent, beautiful, and resourceful— avery's got it all. however, can she find the person for her in lana's retreat? she's pretty positive it'll be a "yes"!

LYRA kansas, USA if there's a list of things that lyra loves, it's dancing, her childhood home, and charming everyone in her vicinity! she's guaranteed to dazzle you with her amber eyes as well.

GIGI arizona, USA gigi may seem sweet, but don't underestimate her because she can get spicy! she's confident she'll win hearts (including yours!), prize funds, and rule a reign of chaos.

MAXINE connecticut, USA max is here to hopefully make meaningful connections, and it seems that won't be too hard with her fun energy and easy smile. let the party begin!

ⓘ the guests have been made aware that they are participating in too hot to handle instead of a typical reality tv show!

₊˚⊹⋆✿ avery and max are the first to arrive on the island, and they're greeted by the bubbly welcome drinks placed on a tabletop. the backdrop is a pool with clear blue water and they can see the infamous cabanas and even the villa.

would you look at that, a relationship formed already! i think avery and max bonded on the boat ride and have decided to be best friends for the time being in the retreat.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ they chatter in excitement, wondering who will show up next. "oh my motherfaxing god, aves, there are people coming!" you can say that again, max! three more beautiful singles make their presences known— rohan first (albeit strangely stealthily), with jameson hot on his heels with long strides, and his brother grayson quick to follow.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ grayson takes the initiative, greeting the ladies formally and letting his gaze linger on avery momentarily. the five make conversation, starting to get to known the people they'll be spending quite a bit of time with. jameson, grayson, and avery get along well, with max's laughter and rohan's remarks punctuating their talks.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ rohan wastes no time, calling avery "love" and thoroughly enjoying himself at the way jameson and grayson's eyes flash. max watches on with a very amused expression.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "are you really wearing a suit on an island?" avery directs the question toward grayson, gesturing at his interesting choice of outfit. grayson looks almost mock-offended at that.

"we can't all wear that, after all." he replies and gestures back at the bikinis the girls are sporting.

"i'd wear it if it would make you happy!" jameson sends a wink over to avery, and her lips curve at that.

rohan cuts in, "oh don't make him do so, love, i'd die laughing on the floor." jameson scowls but his demeanor softens when avery tries to hide her grin.

wow! it's kind of early to speculate, but are we seeing a love triangle form right in front of our eyes? both jameson and grayson have appeared to set their sights on avery, with rohan stirring the pot as well. however, they might have forgotten more guests have yet to be seen. incoming!

₊˚⊹⋆✿ a flash of blonde and brunette hair streaks through the beachy tones of the retreat, and the twins savannah and gigi join the growing group. upon her arrival, savannah's attention has already been caught by rohan. pointing a perfectly manicured nail to his chest and without saying a word, she gestures to another smaller table to the right of the main one. the other six playfully ooh and aah at the pair as rohan cocks his head to the side and assesses savannah's icy eyes. gigi looks to her twin in disbelief, but she has an intrigued smile on her lips.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "you look like you know exactly what you want." rohan states it more as a true fact than an observation.

savannah flips her hair over her shoulders, replying, "i do. and right now, it's you." the group is now fully invested, all other conversations quieting.

"at this rate, the money's going to be gone in less than a day. guys, we may need to tie her up!" max interjects with a slightly nervous chuckle.

"i'd prefer to be the one tying someone else up, but i wouldn't decline that." savannah says, a cool smirk tilting her lips.

"all of— fucking hell." rohan's surprise, if there was any, is quickly gone as he matches her with his own smirk. the group is all shock and laughter.

lana, i think i've found a player you might need to keep an eye on ASAP! savannah's not holding anything back, is she? it's good to see relationships are starting to form, though, even if they seem to be forming from something that isn't love yet...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ more guests are coming your way! the group can begin to see the new arrivals striding over, rich brown waves and dark curls and dreadlocks. lyra, xander, and brady reach the table and make their introductions.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "hello fellow hot people, which one of you pretty ladies would like to take me as your loving and devoted retreat husband? in return, i solemnly vow to remain loyal and shall offer you all the blueberry scones in my ownership!" xander playfully lilts, wiggling his eyebrows.

max covers her mouth to stifle a genuine laugh. "that's definitely an approach we haven't seen yet."

xander stops his theatrics momentarily and looks max in the eyes before resuming to dramatically stage-whisper to her, "is it working? please let it be working." max can't stop her laugh this time and a light blush colors her cheeks. avery not-so-subtly elbows max with a grin.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ at the same time brady, gigi, and lyra engage in a particularly interesting conversation of their own. "i'm just gonna keep telling myself that i'm so ready for whatever lana's about to throw at us. all of us could probably ace those workshops with five minutes and a hair tie, you know?" gigi comments and lyra's bites her lip to not state the obvious innuendo.

"okay... do tell." lyra leans forward, curious to hear more.

"oh shoot, wow, my wording was really off wasn't it?" gigi groans, but brady pats her on the back.

"it's alright, we're gonna hear way worse in the days to come anyways. and speaking of hair ties, i happen to have an extra." he takes her hand and slips it around her wrist, a hair tie identical to the one holding back his dreadlocks.

"you are officially my new best friend." gigi declares, beaming at him.

ⓘ workshops are guided activities for the guests, curated by lana herself. these will come into play if these singles are struggling to form meaningful connections!

i think i sense two more couples forming! this retreat is going pretty smoothly so far, if i do say so myself. wait, i hear something... is that really what i think it is, lana?

₊˚⊹⋆✿ ping-ping-ping! the bright, three-note tune chirps around the guests and multiple reactions ensue. max and gigi grab onto the nearest thing, being each other, and squeal loudly while jumping. grayson and savannah stand stoically and poised, as if beginning to plan for whatever happens next. avery and lyra look around their surroundings somewhat frantically. xander pauses in the middle of flying tackling jameson, and he didn't even know how that was physically possible. brady adjusts his thick-rimmed glasses without a word. rohan opts for complaining loudly, "lana, mate, could you not have waited another two minutes? i was just about to steal a few kisses from that beauty over there." he aims mock puppy eyes at savannah, who gives him a eyeroll in return.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ however, a voice that isn't quite lana's floods the retreat. "hey there, my naughty little nymphos..." the sultry voice purrs. "please meet me at the cabana right now." jaws drop and mildly bewildered looks circulate through the group, especially when they promptly take their spots on the sofa underneath the cabana and the device placed in the center of the table is most definitely not lana.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "lana, you're looking extra sexy today," mentions jameson, glancing at the sleek black and red gadget instead of lana's typical white and purple coloring. the red light flashes to life, and the voice speaks again.

"you are all guests at this retreat because you all have a very bad side to your personalities." it drawls. "guess what? so does lana... and i am it." more gasps. more shock. more confusion.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "when i'm in charge— kissing, heavy petting, self-gratification, or even sex," the voice keeps going, "will not decrease any money from the prize fund." it's silent for a few seconds, then half the group cheer and the other half examines the device on the table, debating if it's even real

"no rules? this is insane!" gigi exclaims, sounding worried at the prospect.

"bad lana, you're the first one i'll be kissing!" jameson proceeds to get up and do exactly that.

i sure hope you know what you're doing lana, because these singles could get out of control real fast. gigi, you're pretty valid for worrying and i can't say i'm not doing the same!

₊˚⊹⋆✿ a while later, the boys have gotten settled inside the bedroom of the large villa and are discussing the girls. "so, who are we all feeling?" the boys have seemingly just agreed to being a team throughout the ten days in paradise (or hell) when brady brings up the question everyone's been burning to ask. they all send teasing looks at rohan, who is already coupled up in their minds.

"well you all saw how savannah came up to me as soon as she arrived, right?" rohan says, answering the original question with a question of his own.

"that was so hot, i approve." xander agrees in awe, enthusiastically nodding.

"there's just something about her. maybe that naughty look in her eyes... or that ass." a lazy smirk spreads over rohan's lips. xander looks slightly nauseated at that. grayson looks disgustingly nauseated, and highly considers murdering rohan while everyone's at a workshop.

"alright bro, she's all yours. just leave us outta your dirty thoughts like no sir, i don't need to hear any more." xander snatches the nearest pillow and throws it at rohan. rohan catches it and xander scoffs good naturedly.

"i'd love to keep talking about me, but what about the rest of you lot?" rohan redirects during a lull in the conversation.

"avery." grayson replies like her name is the only explanation the rest of the group needs.

jameson sidles over to his brother and messes up his perfectly gelled blond hair. "may the best man win, gray." grayson momentarily thinks about the possibility of murder for the second time in the span of five minutes.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "gigi seems like a really sweet girl," comments brady.

"okay, but max? she seems like she could make some legendary jokes and even better flying tackles." xander sighs and leans on yet another stolen pillow, resembling something of a lovesick thirteen year old during their first ever crush.

"xander if you like her, i say you go for it." grayson advises.

"i know, i know... but all girls are like a taste of heaven, so you just gotta treat them like angels." xander replies with a satisfied grin on his face.

"aww, xan." jameson leaves grayson's side to go fluff xander's hair as well. the rest of the boys go quiet for a moment, maybe a little bit impressed with the wisdom of xander's words.

that moment soon ends when rohan laughs, "you're putting me to shame, mate, i've just been thinking about who i want in my bed tonight!"

jameson laughs along, "don't worry, it's not just you..."

ⓘ while the guests have their own beds and can choose a partner to share beds with, they are all allocated in one room. lana's not letting anyone out of her sight, not even at night!

i can't believe i actually thought the entirety of the boys were actually going to be mature for once! i should have known better. hey lana, i'm really looking forward to seeing some workshops change that could change that. i wonder what the girls are up to...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ as it turns out, the girls are also discussing who they've got their sights set on. instead of being in the bedroom, they've chosen the universal girlhood hangout spot— the bathroom. the group of them have been bonding and talking about literally everything from hobbies to if it would be hot to join a cult when max brings up a new talking point.

"mmh avery, i totally agree with you that i'd be more concerned about surviving in said cult, but i'm gonna very smoothly subject change here. girlies... oh my gosh lana's outdone herself once again with the guys this time, right? i need y'all to spill everything!" she enthused from her spot in the bathtub.

"literally! they practically give off the vibes of sex on the beach— " gigi claps a hand over her mouth, maybe preventing herself from saying any more. "as in the alcoholic beverage. on the topic of alcoholic beverages, i might have had a few too many glasses of whatever welcome drink that was." she amends, giggling nervously. no one disagrees with any of gigi's statements, but lyra offers her an encouraging thumbs-up.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "i think i'll probably wait until the bombshells arrive because as hot as the boys are, i have a feeling they're currently more boys than men." lyra adds with a graceful shrug. no one disagrees with that statement either.

"girl, you're saying you want absolutely no one here right now? you sure? you know you can tell the amazing awesome max, okay, it's totally not like i'm gonna try to set you up with anyone!" max shimmies her way across the massive bathroom and over to lyra, unrelenting until lyra is willing to spill the tea.

"amazing awesome max, i suppose there is someone," lyra admits in between laughs, "but unless someone named me can get him to put down that nonchalant facade of his, i'm gonna need to get his nonchalant ass outta here!" max and gigi yell clock it diva, and even savannah looks up from putting on her masterpiece of blue eyeshadow.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "now, who are you the rest of you thinking about? i want your thoughts too, you know!" lyra says, picking up an eyelash curler even though her doe eyes already look impossibly perfect.

"i'm saying xander all the way! i swear i hashtag need that so faxxing bad. tell me where else you can find a guy with that personality who also looks insane." max screams joyfully and kicks her feet. the girls nod, very much approving of the pair.

but gigi wants more information on another pair... "hey sav, you seem significantly quieter than when you were with a certain british, broad-shouldered someone earlier!" a smirking, teasing gigi lifts a blush brush and uses it to expertly poke her twin in the side.

savannah tenses and then sighs as if she's been expecting the question to come. "hey, i'm just doing whatever it takes to win, no offense to any of you here. if i have to get coupled up, it wouldn't hurt to be with rohan." savannah replies without missing a beat, moving onto combing her blonde tresses.

"none taken," the girls chorus back.

"although please do tell how you're immune to that accent and those abs." remarks avery.

this time, savannah considers her answer carefully. "i'm not." she confesses under her breath and stops brushing her hair as if to think of a new strategy to fix that.

"oh girl, we don't blame you at all!" max bounds over to pat savannah on the back.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "i'm thinking either jameson or grayson, although they both seem genuine to me. who knows, maybe i'll mess around with both." avery says when the conversation begins to slow. "of course i'm just kidding, but i'm still glad bad lana has cancelled out the rules for now." lyra drops the mascara she was holding in one hand. "augh, i know i sound so petty right now." avery winces.

"no, no it wasn't that— my hand just cramped up for no reason. ugh, i hate that curse where everything goes wrong every time i try to put mascara on." lyra recovers flawlessly, and her mascara appears to end up being flawless too. "what about you, gigi? have you talked to anyone particularly fine?" lyra's only tell is when she laughs for a few seconds too long, but no one catches on.

"i mean, i did get to talk with brady earlier." gigi blushes, and it's apparent to everyone that she likes him even though she hasn't said more.

"right! i was there and it was when you said—" lyra begins, nearly laughing again.

"oh em gee, don't even remind me!" cringing, gigi blushes a pinker shade.

"well you came out of the experience with a hair tie, so i'd call it a win!" lyra points out the band around gigi's wrist.

"YOU GOT HIS HAIR TIE?" screams max as if brady's given gigi a puppy. safe to say, the girls' conversations would not be ending for at least a little while longer.

interesting... with lyra wanting a mystery man, max reciprocating xander's secret crush, savannah's hot problem named rohan, avery being conflicted between brothers, and gigi's groovy hair tie fiasco with brady, it seems like this season's going to be jam-packed with drama. i bet we'll find out how these singles (at the moment) are going to act on their feelings very soon!

₊˚⊹⋆✿ rohan starts his search for one stunning savannah, and he slips out of the villa unnoticed. he's nearing the cabanas when he catches sight of the infinity pool and comes to an abrupt stop, inexplicably unable to tear his eyes away from it. when rohan does look away, his only goal is to steer clear of the water and he does just that, strides lengthening, vision blurring— bam! the person he's just slammed into is very female, very brunette, and definitely not savannah. "my apologies, love, i just got too excited to see you." rohan winks like his facade never fell, and avery doesn't suspect anything.

"lies! you weren't even looking at me." exclaims avery as she allows rohan to steady her with an arm around her waist.

"i'm looking at you now." rohan leans down and when they're so close, avery takes a step back.

she laughs, "don't worry, i accept your sorry for bumping into me without any kisses."

rohan seems almost offended at that, dramatically placing a hand on his heart as if wounded. "give me a kiss for luck before i ask savannah for one, won't you love?"

avery's speechless, then her laughter comes back louder than before. "rohan, let me get this straight— you want me to kiss you for luck," avery chokes on a laugh, "before you go kiss someone else?"

a trademark smirk is displayed on rohan's face. "isn't that what i just said?" he's far too smug to back down now.

avery thinks about the prospect of kissing rohan for a second. "i guess you're in luck... i could use some luck before i talk to jameson, too." avery surprises rohan with a wink of her own, and she tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

both of them pull away and begin to walk in opposite directions, only calling over their shoulders, "good luck!"

whoah, i totally did not expect the first kiss of the season to be with rohan and avery... and both of them are planning to kiss someone else, too! oh boy lana, we should think about changing the show name to too confusing to handle.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ meanwhile, gigi has been single-handedly manning what she confidently calls operation: xanmax, partly in hopes to distract herself from a tall, dread-headed someone named brady. she crouches down behind a cushioned chair, and spies her first person of interest— max— sitting at the edge of the pool sipping a glass of something pineappley with a tiny umbrella sticking out of it. "target name: max," gigi mutters, squinting her eyes to make an educated guess on what max is drinking, "holding a, uhm... a virgin pina colada. very yummy." she shuffles to stay hidden, this time relocating to underneath a table. a figure appears and although she's disappointed that it's not brady, it raises her spirits when she realizes that it's xander. now with her focus redirected, she peeks her head out over the table to do more spying. what she notices is an extremely intriguing phenomenon. xander takes three big steps forward towards the pool and max instantly sits up straighter, turning to glimpse at him. xander seems to go straight into panic mode at that, getting flustered and retracting his previous three steps.

"they'll have to talk at some point," gigi whispers it to herself with conviction, although she really doesn't know. this goes on for five whole excruciating minutes. xander's getting braver now, venturing on five steps. max takes a gulp of her quickly emptying drink and gazes at him. xander backtracks. gigi groans at their combined stupidity, covering her eyes with her hands. she's so caught up with the pair that it doesn't even clock to her when someone drops to a crouch beside her, joining her secret mission base below the table.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "what are you doing here?" brady lowers his voice and then playfully nudges her with an elbow. gigi yelps, but tries regains her composure.

"ah, brady! nice to see your favorite method to spy on people also happens to be under the table squished down into a fetal position!" she chirps, perhaps a bit too cheery and loudly.

brady grins at this, following her gaze to max and xander and catching on fast. "so, what's the plan?" his lips are far too close to gigi's ear for her brain to stay calm.

"eep," she says, "the plan is that i'll admit i haven't thought of a plan yet... uhm, you go distract xander and drag him here! i'm sure i'll think of something by then!" she hurriedly marches away from brady. he stands, brows raised, but a smile still plays on his lips. he begins making his way over to a hopelessly flustered xander while gigi dashes for max by the pool.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ she kicks off her flip-flops and plops right next to max, hooking an arm tightly but lovingly around her friend's shoulders. "your very own wingwoman gigi has recruited brady to help you secure the man!" gigi announces with a flourish.

"oh boy, what? now?" max nervously fluffs her hair, panicking a little.

"yes now, you gorgeous beach!" replies gigi, stealing one of max's beloved phrases.

"oh my gosh, is he looking at me? is he coming over? oh my gosh?" the torrent of questions barrage gigi as she peers at the boys approaching.

"they are coming, i repeat, they are coming." she tells max, before a rushed final warning. "maxiloveyouandimsosorry, trustmeonthis!" and with that, gigi plucks the pina colada glass out of max's hand and pushes her into the pool. just in time as the boys reach the edge of the water, and brady proceeds to give xander the same treatment.

"love you, man." brady salutes, and tips xander into the pool as well. then it's all chaos and fun and xander's high-pitch shriek and gigi and brady holding their sides in laughter.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ "god, i am so sorry! are you okay? i was just having a lovely chat with my awesome buddy brady," xander cuts himself off to glower at brady, and brady continues shaking with laughter, "when he so very kindly pushed me into this body of water. please accept my deepest apologies and a blueberry scone later." max sweeps her wet hair out of her face.

"hey, that's really funny... i was just having a lovely chat with my awesome gal gigi when she so very kindly pushed me into this body of water!" she looks from a grinning gigi to a grinning brady and then back to gigi.

"well, i suppose we can be pushed-into-pool idiots together then." xander says shyly, pink dusting his cheeks. gigi and brady lean closer to the water while xander leans closer to max.

gigi simply cannot stand it for another second or she'll explode, and gasps out, "you both like each other, okay now kiss!" xander and max slowly rotate in the water, facing each other as brady breaks out guffawing again.

"wait..." they say at the exact same time, "you like me?" gigi can't stop beaming or stop her giddy celebration sounds, xander and max becoming xanmax is the cutest thing she's ever witnessed. her squeals only get louder when xander gently cups max's face and kisses her soft and slow on the lips. brady coughs and averts his eyes, but he smiles too.

gigi hesitantly scoots closer to her wingman-ing partner in crime and leans on his arm. "we nailed that one." she murmurs, and rises on her toes to kiss brady on the cheek.

"oh yes we did." he whispers back.

what in the double date success! i think xander and max are definitely xanmax now, but am i sensing strong gigibrady vibes too? couples are forming, and i love to see it! on that note, i think there's at least another more pair becoming official today. here comes rohan...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ after circling the retreat, rohan finally locates savannah lounging on a settee under yet another cabana. this particular cabana faces the wild ocean waves— more cold water trying to douse rohan— but this time he perseveres. instead of alerting savannah of his presence right away, rohan decides to stay a few paces away to simply observe her for a moment. and so he does, he observes her rubbing tanning oil on the creamy expanse of her skin. he observes how her long legs extend and he observes the smooth slope of her neck when she lifts her hair for a moment. rohan observes savannah for a bit longer and more intensely than he means to and suddenly craves the feeling of ice-cold water pouring on him for the first time in his life. everything else fades to a blur and he can't see anything except for the woman in front of him.

savannah stretches her arms above her head like a cat, arching her back in a way that has him imagining her back arching off the bed as he— "enjoying the view, british?" savannah interrupts his thoughts like she knows exactly what he's picturing, and the tone of her voice suggests that she does.

"what view?" rohan blurts, startled by the fact that she could tell he's been watching her.

"don't play dumb now, rohan, i like you much better when you're smart. and please, it was easy to notice how the grass rustled particularly loudly as soon as i started putting tanning oil on." savannah scoffs, and she's not even bothered to look back at rohan where he remains not-so-hidden behind the cabana. this silences rohan. "are you going to keep staring at my ass or are you going to make yourself useful." savannah's question comes out more like a command than a query.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ getting over his temporary shock and rising to his full height, rohan crosses over to claim a spot next to savannah on the settee. he briefly contemplates saying good god, you're even prettier from the front, but quickly decides it's too soon to bring that up and settles with, "so demanding already, love."

savannah arches a perfectly shaped blonde brow. "don't worry, i'll have many more demands for you in the future." she replies.

"as long as you're indicating that your future has me in it." returns rohan, glad to be verbally sparring with her.

"listen, rohan, i'm not here to play around and i assume that you aren't either. we are going to win it all." the statement sounds like the truth when it comes out of her mouth.

"what are you implying?" asks rohan, even though he's sure he can guess savannah's plan. without warning, savannah straddles his lap and rohan has to bite back a groan at sensation of her weight on him.

she isn't at all gentle when she grabs his chin to angle his face up, her lips so close to his ear. "can't let the mics hear this. pretend i'm saying something dirty to you," savannah whispers, and rohan deliberately lets his eyes darken, "if we be the perfect couple together and only break minimal rules, lana will have to let us win the money. and we'll share it and never worry about one another again, got it?"

rohan nods, but try as he might to focus on the part about money, his cursed mind zeroes in on break minimal rules. as in she'd let him break rules with her, maybe even let him— "sell it to the cameras with a kiss." savannah instructs, interrupting his thoughts for the second time in the afternoon.

"right now?" rohan murmurs in return. his gaze falls from her icy eyes down to her full lips and drags back up to her eyes. savannah responds by pressing her mouth to his, threading her fingers into his dark curls and softly moans against his lips, surprised at how good just a kiss feels. rohan's arms wrap around her waist and he licks into her mouth when she grants him access. in the background, the waves crash on the beach and the cameras whir to zoom in on the shot. they break apart, both gasping for air. "i think that definitely sold it, love." breathes rohan.

"are you ready to put on a $250,000 worthy act and win it all?" savannah asks quitely, but her fingers are still tangled in his hair.

too hot and confusing to handle just got way more hot... and confusing! hold up, so rohan and savannah are fake-coupling to win the money? i wonder what lana thinks about that. and is rohan planning to tell savannah about his kiss with avery? i suppose we'll find out eventually.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ after all the girls vacate the bathroom at some point, jameson decides to invade the space and is currently... checking himself out in the mirror? don't we all! as he runs a hand through his brown waves, another reflection shows up in the corner of the mirror. "hi," avery says breathlessly, but her hazel eyes glint with mischief.

"hey there, you," jameson smirks back, "it's totally not like i've been hoping to get you alone all day. and before my brother grayson does." he remarks the last part with a bit of a grimace.

avery laughs, it's a clear and warm sound that brightens the room. "i'm flattered. but don't worry, i have really talked to anyone like this yet." she admits and flutters her long lashes.

uhh, are we just collectively forgetting about the rohanavery kiss? oh dear.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ jameson certainly isn't one to let a good opportunity go to waste once he knows what he wants. "i'll be honest with you right now, avery— you've caught my eye since i saw you this morning, and i'd really love to try to build a connection with you. you're beautiful and sweet,"

"stop it! nonono—" avery reaches over to place a finger on his lips but jameson continues, not letting her giggles deter him.

"and i want to be with you and only you during this retreat." avery subconsciously bites down on her lower lip, and jameson traces the motion with his gaze. "only if you want to, of course," he hurries to add, suddenly looking way more sheepish than earlier.

"i've been waiting for you to say that." avery smiles and moves closer to smooth down a stray stand of jameson's hair. her sunscreen smells like coconut and vanilla and jameson can barely think. so he doesn't— he doesn't think when he lightly traces her mouth with his thumb this time, and he doesn't think when he kisses her. it's a reckless, wild kiss where hands explore and avery ends up sitting on the sink countertop when it finally ends.

"so like..." jameson whispers against avery's neck while still leaving kisses, "bed tonight, me and you?"

"in that case, i might have to start calling you don't stop." she murmurs, and then it's jameson's turn to laugh.

hey, that seemed pretty straightforward and now averyjameson are officially a thing! however, i'm really hoping that the elephant in the room will be adressed before lana forces anyone's hand...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ at the same time, grayson chooses to spend his afternoon on the island swimming in the wild ocean waves. the water is perfect, cool enough to be refreshing but not by any means cold, and grayson can even see little fish diving next to him if he peers close enough. after he's lost track time, his body starts to ache and he has to force himself to make his way back to the beach. he shakes the water out of his blonde hair and smooths it back from his face just as he sees a figure approaching along the horizon.

lyra slows from her jog to a walk when she comes across grayson, taking a second to catch her breath. her caramel skin and cocoa eyes practically glow from the sunshine and exercise. "hey," lyra grins, "what are you doing on this side of the island? i haven't really seen anyone yet. well, aside from rohan and savannah attaching themselves at the mouth but you can bet i sprinted away from that."

grayson makes a face at the thought of rohan and savannah... attaching themselves at the mouth. "i've been swimming for the most part, but i could ask you the same question." grayson replies once he's regained composure.

"i've been running around like a madwoman, and i know. who the heck runs for fun on a paradise retreat? me, apparently!" lyra laughs, and grayson is surprised to find himself wanting to join her. "i don't know exactly what, but i love how freeing it is. you know, like to not think about anything else and just feel?" she looks down at the sand and shells, a little embarrassed.

but grayson's facade cracks when he gives her a smile and lyra takes it as a win. "no, i totally understand that feeling. my brothers always think i'm crazy because i always used to swim instead of going out partying. ended up finishing highschool without going to a single one."

now lyra's laughter is shocked, and she theatrically pretends to judge the man in front of her. "okay wow, you've never been to a party? i might have to put this conversation on hold and keep running!" she turns as if really meaning to go, but her next words die on her lips when grayson gently catches her wrist.

"i like this conversation." he offers no other explanation, but his pale eyes are sincere.

lyra nervously plays with a lock of her chocolate waves. "and i like you." she murmurs, and then declares loudly, "and i'm taking you to a party some time." grayson frowns. however, he doesn't decline.

they stand on the beach and talk a while longer, enjoying the sun and each other's company more than they thought they would. when lyra decides to head back into the villa to regroup with the girls, grayson finds that he isn't thinking of avery anymore. there's an additional detail grayson clocks about lyra during their conversations, and it's her rich, melodic voice. it sounds like something he's heard before, like something familiar on this foreign island.

ah yes, now we're talking— i simply adore watching the sun, the sea, and healthy relationships starting to grow! it seems like lyra and grayson are doing it the right way... and with no i-kissed-someone-else-but-i'm-not-telling-you nonsense. sorry! i'm just truly stressing over the situation that the other couples are in.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ a few hours later, the guests have all gotten comfortable and have been doing their own respective (but not so respectable) activities when the three-note tune sounds out across the retreat again. ping-ping-ping! lyra, gigi, and max are smack in the middle of debriefing their misadventures and have to shush each others giddy squeals. grayson and jameson hear it while they're somewhat awkwardly hugging it out. avery is busy listening to xander and brady's colorful recount of operation: xanmax! savannah is about to slam rohan against the wall of the shower when he registers the noise and groans, "cause of death: pure sexual frustration. thank you, lana."

even bad lana waits for no one... and certainly not for any freaky happenings.

"hello my sexy singles," bad lana coos through the hidden speakers, "in honor of you little minxes staying on my island, i've decided to throw you a party. i've left outfits for you in the villa closet, and i'm sure you'll be happy to follow the dress code. see you at sunset..." the announcement trails off suggestively and cuts out before everyone's screams and reactions of excitement.

"see you at sunset," savannah echoes the words with a smirk, and she bites rohan's neck teasingly before she leaves for the vast walk-in closet.

"you are both the devil and the angel, love, you know that?" rohan calls as he really debates whether it would be all that bad to take a cold shower.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ the girls emerge victorious from the depths of the closet first, picking out what seem like straps and satin to the boys waiting for their turns. "gawd dayum." jameson whispers, eyeing them and attempting to venture into the closet himself.

xander takes one look at the pastel purple dress max's chosen and starts to stutter, "it's beautiful. oh my god, you're beautiful— i mean, you'll look beautiful in anything you wear."

max side-steps a stray pair of highheels to peck xander's cheek, "thank you, baby!" the rest of the group collectively lets out a sigh while xander continues stammering.

farther into the large room that is the villa closet, rohan's somehow found lingerie and holds the black lace up for savannah to judge. she doesn't disappoint, a signature brow raising immediately. "i'm sure the dress i have will have the same effect on you." she brushes past him only to coyly wink over her shoulder.

"man, are you alright? you look like you're about to topple over!" brady chuckles and grabs onto rohan's shoulders to keep him upright. rohan's too distracted to reply.

at the same time, lyra's provided grayson with two stunning gowns to pick from, deep red and navy blue. "like the red or the blue?"

"the red is silk, and that would be more comfortable for you to wear." he replies, mildly surprising lyra with his thoughtful answer.

"i'll be so honest, i would have chosen the red no matter what words came out of your mouth but thank you." their eyes meet for what seems like an eternity, and lyra doesn't want to look away.

aaah! i'm simply delighted to see our beautiful couples all together now, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to see the party right now. luckily for us, i can skip ahead!

₊˚⊹⋆✿ later, the sun finally sinks down the sky and drips into the ocean. sunset on the island is a thing to behold— as are the guests, now dressed for the occasion. the boys wear different colored dress shirts and similar shorts. the girls have each chosen equally dazzling and scandalous dresses.

max stuns in the previously mentioned short pastel purple dress but instead of heels like the rest of the girls, she sports black platform converse. xander matches her with his plum shirt made from a shiny fabric, fitting for a party without being too flashy. max twirls into his arms while they adorably banter about their height difference despite her wearing shoes that give her a few inches.

grayson and lyra look spectacular as well, with red silk on lyra and... hold up, grayson's wearing a tie? "grayson, i'm loving you and the party vibes but," lyra points at his tie and bites her lip to keep from losing it.

grayson does the unexpected and actually blushes, a light flush spreading across his face. "did i do something wrong? i, uh— i wanted to match your dress." he embarassedly admits.

"no, you did perfect." lyra pulls him in by his red tie and kisses him right in front of everyone, blocking out all the cheers and applause to feel the moment.

what did i tell you guys, grayson and lyra are indeed doing it right! maybe some other couples— ahem, rohansavannah and averyjameson— need a reminder about the real reason why they're on this retreat. uh, guys...?

₊˚⊹⋆✿ rohan can't take his eyes off of savannah, and for good reason. she's helen of troy draped in ice-blue silk almost as pale as her eyes, the high slit on the dress revealing more than the fabric that molds to her curves. neither of them need to say a word as savannah glides across the courtyard to him.

"how lucky am i?" rohan manages to form the words and his hands automatically drift to her hips, pulling her against him.

"very," savannah's lips pull up at the corners, "but i say the same about me." she eyes him like looks could do more than kill, like looks could touch. rohan's dress shirt is black, with the buttons completely undone.

"apologies for not being able to match you, love." he murmurs.

"i like your shirt better when it's off of you anyways." savannah slides the material off rohan and lets it drop to the floor.

"bedroom right now," he damn near tosses savannah over his shoulder, ignoring her laughs and nails that scratch into his back.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ jameson and avery aren't doing much better keeping their eyes or hands off each other either. they found a perfectly matching dress and shirt of the same dark midnight color earlier in an untouched nook in the closet, and they've both donned the garments. however, it seems clothing may not stay on for long... avery leads jameson to a table to get drinks and then they disappear from the main group as well.

GUYS! lana, we really need you back right this second because what on earth is going on? oh dearie me, don't tell me those two couples are going to run into each other in the villa bedroom...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ meanwhile, gigi happily lets brady spin her around on the dance floor and watches the world swirl until everything is a blur. her flowy butter yellow evening dress is the only thing she can barely make out as she falls to the floor, giggling. brady's already there to hold a hand out to her, looking quite dashing in a deeper golden yellow shirt. gigi begins to right herself, falling l back down on the floor a second later and pulling brady with her this time. they land with a thud next to each other and just lay there for a moment, quitely chuckling and whispering inside jokes that no one else but them two can hear. brady clasps gigi's hand in his and slips another one of his hairties around her wrist.

₊˚⊹⋆✿ ping-ping-ping! the same three notes play almost too joyfully around the retreat, telling the guests that an announcement is about to be made. everyone looks up in confusion and of course, rohan's dirty thoughts have been intercepted by lana once again.

"lana, when i get to that fucking cabana of yours..." he curses under his breath, but even savannah seems slightly concerned for whatever's happening next.

"hello, guests— i apologize for not being here earlier. please make your way to the cabana without delay." it's not just savannah who's scared now. the voice isn't the sultry purr anymore, it's been reversed to the real lana.

lana! i knew you'd come in clutch. uh-oh, i know i'm glad but the guests certainly won't be...

₊˚⊹⋆✿ the couples are now seated at the main cabana, staring at the device that has gone back to lana's normal form. "guys, we're all sure bad lana said rule breaks woudn't take away any money... right?" max says anixously, the first to realize that everyone really hasn't been on their best behaviors. yet, it's not any of her friends that answer.

the device at the center of the table flashes to life with the original purple lights. "correct, max. i had bad lana take over this morning because to get you to be the best versions of yourselves, i had to see you at your worst." lana replies, "and trust me, most of you were at your worst."

the guests are silenced because they know the statement is true. "unfortunately, two of the ten people here have proved to be the biggest problems. rohan and avery, you've both kissed more than one partner today." rohan and avery instantly still as everyone else processes the exposed truth.

"savannah, love, i—" rohan is cut off when savannah stands from her seat next to him and goes to the opposite end of the sofa besides gigi. she doesn't say a word, but the hurt in her gray eyes is enough to tell rohan everything. jameson stays where he is but doesn't react any better, radiating muted anger and not listening to avery's reasoning.

then the lana delivers her final message, "rohan and avery, you are banished from my retreat. please leave as soon as possible." the gasps of shock are loud now.

"ave, no..." max pleads, hugging her best friend tight.

"this can't be correct. have banishments ever been made on the first day?" a dazed xander wonders aloud.

rohan tries a last time, "savannah, i'm sorry and it really wasn't— "

savannah glares back, her gaze colder than ice. "go." she says just one word in reply.

the two reluctantly and tearfully say their goodbyes, then link hands to turn and walk away from the cabana.

oh my, lana! wait you can't actually be serious about the banishments, right? or making us wait until the next episode? well, i suppose we'll have to keep watching in the near future to see what will happen next to these devastatingly gorgeous (and currently distraught) singles! cue the ending theme song—

ᯓ ♪ whoah... turn it up!

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