How each team member fell for Robert (dispatch polycule fanfic)
To say the Z team was obsessed with their dispatcher would be an understatement. Even the public was starting to catch on to the possessiveness the team had towards their leader. Like when flambae would heat up Robert's lower back to soothe his pain. Or when prism shows Robert off to her followers. Each member showed their devotion in a unique way and Robert returned it by investing and believing in them. It wasn't always like this though, especially with the rocky start they had. Each member had a point where they went from apprehensive to enamored.
Mandy fell for Robert first. This makes sense considering she was the first to meet him. From Roberts sarcastic banter, to him telling her how he sacrificed his health and financial stability to help others. Blazer found herself wanting to listen to him talk for as long as possible. Picking up his smaller frame and holding him as she flew through the air to the billboard filled her with warmth. But it wasn't until their talk on the billboard that mandy fell for Robert. His voice softening as he talks about his past and his dad. It made Mandy want to keep him around.
It was no secret that waterboy was a fan of mecha man. He didn't expect to see him in that sdn lobby. When he laid eyes on him In person, he nearly screamed. He was a lot more human in person, a short man with a kind smile and sultry, tired eyes. And when he kept leaning closer to help herm with his tie, he felt like exploding. He was practically on his last! I would never imagine this happening in his wildest fanfics. When they finally separated, Herman let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. As he watched him go, he hoped they would see each other again. He needed to make a better impression.
Sonar and coupe fell at the exact same time. Robert wasn't necessarily either of their types. Coupe preferred men like punch and sonar mostly preferred women. But when Robert was met with a decision of who to terminate, he proved to be a loyal team member. He stood firm on his refusal to cut anyone from the team so early. He stated it wouldn't be fair to fire someone after convincing them they had another chance. He almost faced punishment in order to keep them both. That's when they started realizing Robert was serious about what he said and how not bad looking Robert was.
Punch up didn't really get coupe's attraction to Robert at first. Of course he was much kinder to him after fighting for his lover's spot on the team. Punch started bringing him coffee some mornings to show good will. That was until they met up at the bar. Robert was absolutely feral in a fight, even while drunk. Colm couldn't help but notice the crazed look in his eye and the way his body moved while pummeling some red ring asshole. He started to understand why coupe was sweet on Robert.
Flambae's feelings towards Robert have always been very conflicted. At first he was conflicted about falling in love with a normie loser like Robert. After learning about his identity, he was conflicted about living a lying loser that cut off his fingers. The man that fought him and got him arrested. The man who ruined his life. The man who forced him to build it back again. The kind person who believes in him and wants him to improve. After a while he started feeling guilty about trying to set Robert on fire.
Prism wrote Robert off at first. It wasn't that she hated Robert, she just didn't think he understood them. She saw him as a stuck up with a hero complex. But during the bar fight, she saw a different side of Robert. Around the half way mark when the fight was at its peak, she saw a fire in his eyes. She was joy. Robert was letting loose and enjoying himself. Laughing with his team and beating red ring goons. At some point during prism's performance, Robert took a moment to appreciate her. He shared the same look with her that he had while fighting. He was looking with joy and adoration. She felt seen and appreciated.
Royd build his affections for Robert steadily and consistently during their time together. Robert was friendly, calming, and shared royd's love for engineering. Despite not having taken any classes on engineering or even having finished high school, Robert was eager to learn and picked up procedures quickly. Royd was keenly aware of Robert's crush on him. The way the man blushed subtly and got more sarcastic the closer royd got to him. How comfortable he was to bring royd to his apartment when no one else was. Thinks came to a peak when Robert was on a step ladder, working on one of the leg panels. The ladder wobbled as he moved and royd was quick to stabilize him. His hands could almost touch because Robert's waist was so small. They stayed there like that for a solid minute, as Robert realized their mutually connection.
Malevola thought Robert was adorable. With his short frame, small waist, and tired brown eyes. He was quite attentive despite his malnourishment and crabby attitude. But the main thing that earned malevola's affection was how Robert treated her. He treated her like any other person. He wasn't judging her by her demoness appearance and he wasn't trying to get into her pants. He offered her genuine respect.
Bruno respected Robert a lot for how he reacted when Bruno pushed him around. He didn't know any one else that would have the balls to throw a chair at him. Robert didn't give a shit who Bruno was. He wasn't about to be disrespected by anyone. And Robert was kind, despite their sour introduction.
Track #1- 'I Write Hymns, Not Travesties' - Yung Gravy
'Lemme talk to 'em, baby, flip the instrumental. I only write hymns, I don't write no travesties.'
Summary: The only reason Golem goes to these bars with the team is beacuse you always sneak him drinks. Maybe this time you've had a little too much.
Warnings: drunk!reader, fem!reader, flirting, mentions of violence
Credits: Banner made by me, dividers made by @sister-lucifer and @uzmacchiato!
Red neon bathed the the alleyway as Golem sat on the sidewalk, grumpy as always, popping pebbles into his mouth. Once again, he was dragged along to The Sardine so his colleagues could drink themselves stupid. He grumbled, futily trying to detangle his headphones. After a moment he finally gave up.
After a few minutes, the door opened and he glanced up, finding you backed by crimson light like some sort of angel. The pair of glasses in your hands reassured him that you were heavensent. "Took ya long enough," He grumbled with no real heat behind his tone.
"Sorry, the line was long," You laughed sheepishly, handing him both glasses. You glanced down to his tangled headphones, sticking to the sludge of his chest. "Here, let me help you,"
He threw back a drink, glass and all, crunching it in his jaw as he watched you untangle his earbuds gracefully. "There," You beamed, leaning up to pop them into his ears- or where you hoped his hearing recectors were. "All fixed."
"Thanks, angel," He smiled subtly, adjusting the earbuds as he turned on the music app on his phone.
Just as suddenly as you'd escaped the bar to visit with him, you were being coax back into the party by Malevola inviting you to do shots with her and Sonar. "Sorry," You mouthed to him as she pulled you back inside. "I'll come back later, I promise!"
-----
Almost an hour had passed before you came out again. He gave a knowing smirk as you stagger up to him, trying not to spill the glasses in your hand. "Hey, trouble," He chuckled deeply, reaching out to steady you.
"Hey," You beamed, carefully handing him the drinks. "Guess what?"
"What?" He smiled, popping the classes into his mouth one by one.
"I won." You bragged, hands on your hips.
"Won what?" Golem sighed fondly, bringing his hand to your waist to keep you stable.
"Mal and Sonar challenged me to shots and I won," You snicker, plopping down on the sidewalk beside him. You leaned into his side without thinking, the soggy earth that he was comprised of sticking to your clothes and hair. "Drank them bitches under the damn table."
"Atta girl," He smirked, draping an arm around your shoulder. "What were you shooting, baby?"
"Uhm... tequila?" You guessed, pressing your finger to your cheek thoughtfully. "The one with the salt and the lemon."
"You mean salt and lime?" He laughed.
"Yeah, the green one," You giggled, resting your head against his morphous form. "I did eight...I think."
"You took eight shots of tequila?" He shook his head fondly. "Baby, you're trashed."
"No, you're trash." You smothered a laugh. "Get it? 'Cuz you're made of trash and stuff?"
"I'm made of dirt too, babe." He points out, leaning in close. "That mean I'm dirty too?"
"Oooh, filthy boy," You giggled shyly, nipping your lip and hiding your face in your hands.
"You know it, babygirl," "He mused, gently adjusting your jacket to keep some kind of barrier between the two of you, trying to avoid staining you with his bodymass. "Ya know, you're gonna be a dirty girl if you don't get up off me."
"I'll be your dirty girl," You murmured lightheartedly, snuggling closer.
"Oh, you're runnin' that mouth tonight, huh?" He rolled his eyes ith a gentle smile. "You wanna get in trouble, baby?"
"Maybe," You teased, peeking up at him and sticking your tongue out.
“I don’t think you want the smoke, sweetness,” Golem mused. “I’m as mean as I am big. I ain’t gonna go easy on you.”
“You’re not mean, Gol-ey,” You giggled behind your hand. “You might have some hard stuff in you but you’re all soft throughout.”
“Oh, there’s some hard parts in here, alright,” He huffed, amused. “And ‘Gol-ey? Keep talking like that and I might have to let a baby score.”
You fell back into a fit of drunken giggles, lying out in the dirty sidewalk. He looked you over, the flush in your cheeks, the fluidity of your joints as you pushed your hair out of your eyes. “Is that a real promise or are you just flirting with me?”
“Just flirtin’, sweet thing,” Golem sighed, pulling you back up and against him, coating more of you with himself unintentionally. “You’re fine as hell but drunk ladies ain’t my type. You gotta really focus to climb this mountain.”
“Awe, you buzzkill…” Yoy groaned into his side, your breath creating a bubble in his gooey side, the popping of which just tickled you pink. “You really don’t want me?”
“Maybe tomorrow, baby. If you still want me in the morning.” He murmured fondly. “I ain’t leavin’ your side tonight so you can decide then. Deal?”
If Golem aka Bruno (Dispatch) was in Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, which Great House of Westeros would they be part of or at least the most affiliated with?
House Targaryen
House Stark
House Lannister
House Baratheon
House Greyjoy
House Tully
House Arryn
House Martell
House Tyrell
Voting ended onMar 8
Ways to approach the poll if the character isn’t a royal:
If you think they’d be from a smaller house, go with the Great House that that smaller house is sworn to (ex: House Manderly —> vote Stark)
They don’t have to be a nobleperson, they can be someone working for the house or being ruled by them. Roles could be a sworn-sword, a septa, a butcher, a blacksmith, or even a lowly peasant.
You can consider the region itself. For example, if you feel the character would be from Dorne, pick House Martell.
You can consider the personality of the character. For example, if your character is all about honor, then consider either House Arryn or House Stark.
Last, but not least, be creative with it! For example, there was a comment I read that the character who was the subject of the poll would be pulling a Littlefinger, so they went with either Lannister or Tyrell as that would be that character’s target houses.
[Sonar goes over to R/n and Golem's place to get some edibles (R/n has a license to sell) from them and stuck around to play L4d2 for a bit.]
R/n, shaking a bag, she glares at Sonar: Dude! You ate all my goldfish crackers.
Sonar: Those were not goldfish, man, they were weird lookin' and had a gross after taste.
Golem: That's cos those were knock offs called Crunchy Carps, we spend almost all of our money on rent 'n crap, so most of our food is weird off brands; in fact that's not Dr. Pepper yer drinking it's Prof. Zing.
Sonar, looks down at his can: Damn...it tastes just like Dr. pepper.
with all the pregnancy talk i keep coming back to the idea of how funny it would be if the other parent is golem
specifically im latching onto the idea of robert getting hold of an unstable magic item and in a right-time-right-place scenario, has golem absorb it. primarily with the idea of siphoning the magic but theyre surprised when it just.. stabilises instead. so now golem kinda has 2 souls, which is neat.
somewhere between 10 seconds and 10 months later, depending on where in the timeline they are, they get the surprise of a lifetime when the second soul spits itself out of golem's body right into robert's arms. just a tiny mud baby who imprints on robert immediately.
i think it'd be the most chill co-parenting situation ever, and robert gets to sit with his beefy boy on one side and a bucket of mud baby on the other
+bonus anon:
In lore, a Golem is created by a Rabbi/Wizard (both job titles required) using a mixture of mud, clay, and Abbrahamic magic rituals. The most important being the inscribing of one of the names of god onto or placed inside the creation with paper, and writing the word "emet/truth/אֱמֶת" on the body (usually the forehead). The second part is a safety feature for the creator to use if the golem malfunctions/rebels - just scrape off a particle and the "Truth" button becomes a "Dead" button.
There's a lot of stories of golems being created to protect their community, or to act as servants. The latter being ill-advised, as a golem forced to perform menial tasks will get really freaking mad at their creator for bringing them to life just to do chores.
Bruno in this case, was most likely created either on accident, or by a creator who had no idea what he was going to do with an actual construct of earth.
Basically this comic;
Bruno loves his wizard-dad, but he still feels weird about being created without any specific purpose in mind. Probably why he got into enough trouble to end up in the Phoenix Program.
One day, Bruno gets a letter from his wizard dad that he's taken on a new apprentice, and wants him to meet them. Apparently this student has been cutting corners trying to create their own earthen construct, and Wizard Dad thinks meeting Bruno would set him on the straight on narrow. Bruno isn't sure if there's an insult hidden in there. Either way, Bruno asks the Z-Team if they wanna meet his creator. Visi, Waterboy, and Robert agree to go, with Malevola politely declining so to not scare the old rabbi. The rest of the Z-Team agree to watch the Baby Kaiju while Bruno is gone.
Bruno's dad is a tiny ancient Jewish man who looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over. He talks quickly and sharply, puttering around a cramped alchemy lab, while Bruno responds in regular calm clear baritone.
The apprentice makes their appearance soon after, covering in red clay and ink stains. They're young for a sorcerer, barely in their twenties. And they look frustrated.
Wizard Dad: "You want to make a golem, do you boy? Well, meet my Bruno! I may not have planned for him, but I followed the process to the letter! You can't be skipping steps just because you're impatient!"
Apprentice: "But sir! I nearly got it this time!"
Wizard Dad: "Nearly!? Nearly, nearly destroyed my whole facking lab!"
(*the Z-Teamers present watch the argument with growing awkwardness*)
Robert: "Is it always like this when you visit?"
Bruno, shrugs: "Dad's always big on safety."
The gang are curious how the apprentice messed up so badly, and Wizard Dad shows them the crafting room where it happened.
A large pile of adobe bricks lie in the centre of the room, the form reduced down to what appears to be legs.
Wizard Dad, glaring at Apprentice: "And I assume someone will be cleaning this up?"
Apprentice: (*grumbles, picking up a broom*)
Herman: "I can- will help!" (*goes to assist by spraying/moping up the clay dust*)
Most of the visit goes normally. Wizard Dad shows them to his living quarters and makes them tea. Bruno shares stories from his job at SDN, and photos of his adoptive Kaiju child.
Wizard Dad: "You're a good boy, Bruno. The old golems protected the people, and you've made it your career to protect so many."
Bruno: "Thanks dad."
Wizard: "Now, when are you introducing me to my granddaughter? I don't care she's a giant Kai-whatchamacallit. Bring her down so she can have her first Rosh Hashanah with her saba!"
Bruno: "Will do."
Visi, looking down: "Why is the floor wet?"
(*all of them look down, seeing water slowly seep under the doorway to the laboratory area*)
Robert, realising: "We left Waterboy in there..."
It's actually what you think happened.
Herman was helping with the clean-up, when the apprentice decided to give his cheatsy method another go by drawing sigils on multiple smaller clay figures.
The little clay figures decide to run amok like gremlins. Herman is frantically trying to blast them away with his water as they continue to reform and sling mud around.
Wizard Dad, furious: "YOU PUTZ!!! You didn't give any of them a purpose! Now all their spirits are running wild!"
Apprentice: "It's not my fault! HE-" (*points at Herman*) "-produces magic water! His animated them prematurely!"
Herman, panicking: "I didn't know I could do this- that!"
Bruno, being climbed on by tiny golems: "Let's chill. Just find the emet on them and wipe it."
Apprentice, looks nervously: "I uh... didn't give them one."
Wizard Dad: "You WHAT!?"
Apprentice: "I thought I could save time by putting it on later!"
Wizard Dad: "Once this is over, you are SO getting detention!"
Containment procedures include, sweeping the mud gremlins with brooms, shovels, water (regular, not Herman-sourced, that heals them), into a roaring kiln. It takes a while since the little guys are pretty slippery, and aren't afraid to play dirty. ("Why are they like this?" "Toddlers! Same from human to earth spirit!")
Once the final muddy imp is trapped in the kiln, the Wizard stokes the fire - turning them all to useless half-baked clay.
Herman: "That doesn't- that doesn't kill them, right?"
Wizard Dad: "Nah. The earth spirit within just hops back right into mother earth. No point sticking around when you can't move."
Robert, covered in mud, sighs tiredly: "Well, that's been my exercise for the day..." (*inspects ruined shirt, sees something odd*) "Hey, whats this?"
(*they look over to see a layer of mud on Robert's skin, moving curiously. There appears to be a scrap of paper within*)
Bruno: "Oh hey, thats my mud."
Wizard Dad: "Catch it! It's got one of the spells! It could-"
Baby Earth Spirit: (*suddenly disappears into Robert's body, the paper smouldering as it falls to the ground*)
Wizard Dad, confused: "Do that? Hmm. Normally, they just turn themselves into gremlins again."
Robert, silently panicking: "Or...?"
Wizard Dad, pondering: "Or... they make themselves into bigger monsters, wreak havoc across the land, jump into someone's body so the spirit can be reborn as a human..."
(*whole room pauses, staring at Robert*)
Robert: "Crap."
Bruno: "Wait... that was my mud... Did I just knock up Robert?"
In magic terms; kind of.
Lil earth spirit wanted to be born. There was a spell to make it live. And there was a perfectly good human parent to "bake" in.
Robert is... not entirely pleased with this development. Bruno's dad is fretting over "more grandchildren!?" while the construct himself is just looking at Robert with fascination.
The resulting child looks human - light brown skin, ruddy hair, Robert's freckles etc, but her body composition is that of wet clay. They name her "Hazel".
And yes, the co-parenting is very chill. Hazel and the baby kaiju Pebble see eachother as sisters.
Golem is a gentlemen, I can’t prove it, I just have a hunch. He’s holding the door open for people despite that he cannot fit in the door, positions himself to block rain from people trying to rush inside, waiting outside with girls for their Ubers, while the rest of the team parties inside, gives up his seat on missions, helps that one old lady get her cat out of the tree. He’s just…really sweet, I promise.
Also look at his smile, just-…look at his goofy ahh smile
