“Wait till we get some skates on you, huh?” the guy answered. It was Smith.
Mack jolted and passed Norah off to Berny, pulse unsteady. Up close, Smith looked even younger than he did on the broadcasts, more breakable. The friendliness in his tone only made it worse. It was genuine and uncalculated. Mack hated that. He knew the guy’s stats and more than that, Mack knew how it felt to watch him carve up the world while he stood still. Smith was at a disadvantage, he knew only his own half of the equation.
“This,” she continued, “is Teagan. She’s your new roommate for the next month. Can you show her the cabin?”
Bethany stared at the girl in front of her, jaw slack. This could not be her new roommate.
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After finding herself bunking with a new and intimidating co-counselor at Faith Creek Girls Camp, God loving, obedient Bethany must make amends with the reality that everyone has their own interests. Teagan, her raunchy and unapologetically dykey co-counselor, decides to make it her personal mission to expand Bethany's mind and introduce her to new experiences, leading Bethany on a path to self discovery.
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This story is co-authored by myself and @m-mmoonshine and can be found here on this blog or over on ao3. Odd chapters are written by myself, even chapters by Morgan. We hope you love Bethany and Teagan as much as us!
Bethany
The bus was swelteringly hot despite every window being open as wide as possible. The younger girls at the front didn’t seem to mind, at least, they were too focused on the host of activities that waited for them in the following month. The sound of girls laughing and squealing in excitement could be heard over the sound of the bus creaking as it carried the group up winding, narrow roads. As the bus driver expertly maneuvered the pot-hole filled roads, Bethany closed her eyes and smiled. A cool breeze whipped blonde hair into her face.
“Finally,” she thought, “I’m back.”
Attending Faith Creek Girls Camp was Bethany’s favorite time of year. She’d been a camper for years before finally growing old enough to work as a counselor, something she’d been doing for a while now. So far this summer, she had already taken the trip up the mountain twice, a different group of excitable preteens scrambling off the bus in front of her, eager to learn about their Lord but more eager to have unrestrained, summer fun with their friends for five days. Bethany had always been an outlier; as a camper, she had enjoyed the tabernacle sessions, bible studies, and sermons more than physical activities like canoeing, volleyball, or archery. As an adult, though, she found it more and more gratifying to come back and teach these sports, explaining the importance of Christ and how he could fit into the lives of each and every one of the campers, even through an activity as mundane as rock climbing.
The sound of preteen girls screaming enthusiastically told her that they had arrived and she opened her eyes with a big smile, tucking windswept pieces of hair behind her ear. Bethany watched as the campers tumbled out of the bus and onto the pavement, looming pine trees providing shade from the sun’s rays. Grabbing her duffel bag, she reached for the small golden cross that hung around her neck, fiddling with it as she stepped off the bus and into the warm afternoon. The mountain air was thin, but fresh and crisp. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and as the last counselors who had ridden the bus exited, Bethany turned to face the group of impatient campers.
“Who’s ready for an unforgettable time?!”
—----
After Bethany passed the group of campers off to camp leaders, she turned and made her way to the bunks with the other counselors. Since she had already worked the previous month, all of her belongings were already here, minus the rotation of clothes she had taken home this weekend to wash. She had decorated her side of the shared room in a way that made it feel uniquely hers for the summer; a pennant banner hung above her perfectly made bed with the words “ I <3 GOD” stamped in bold red letters on it. On her nightstand, a picture frame sat displaying young Bethany and her best camp friend at the beach. She dropped her duffel bag onto her bed and looked around the rest of her cabin just as the sounds of campers could be heard busting into the far side of the cabin. This month, eight girls aged from 12-14, would be bunking in her cabin, separated by a log wall that ran perpendicular to Bethany’s bed. Last week, her roommate and co-counselor, Leslie, had moved out early, leaving her room half empty. It made her heart sad to not see Leslie’s box of embroidery floss on the desk or her life jacket hanging on the wall, but she couldn’t deny that she was thrilled to meet her new roomie: camp was for meeting new people.
After putting away her toiletries, Bethany checked the time and realized she was running late for the first counselor meeting. Pulling a cardigan over her shoulders, she quickly peeked at her reflection. Soft features and perfectly trimmed eyebrows stared back at her, not a hair out of line. She busted out of the cabin door, hiking her skirt up to her shins to keep it clean. Her sandals smacked the dirt path as she walked quickly down the paved walkway between trees she knew like the back of her hand. In no time, she was rounding the corner to the main pavilion and her heart swelled as she saw friends she hadn’t seen in years and the faces of new friends she hadn’t met yet.
When Emma, the camp director, was done giving her weekly spill (the same rehearsed speech Bethany had heard dozens of times at this point,) she had a chance to finally mingle. She pulled her cardigan tighter around her sloped shoulders as the sun began to dip behind the trees, cooling the air. One of her favorite friends, Maisy, was here this month. Maisy lived out of town and could usually only make it for one month out of the summer, but Bethany loved when she could. She had hoped that Maisy would be her roommate this year, but after she’d asked, Maisy had politely declined, citing her love of Cabin 2 over Cabin 4.
Understandable, Bethany thought, she didn’t want to leave her cabin either so she couldn’t blame Maisy. Still, she was excited to catch up. Bethany talked about the camp’s most notable events of the summer so far; like Hanna Sosa getting pushed into the lake or Lacey Loyd almost falling off the ropes course. Maisy looked less than impressed, softly offering Bethany an awkward laugh before turning to mingle with a group of friends that Bethany wasn't keen on. Instinctively, Bethany reached for her cross necklace, immediately understanding that Maisy may be growing distant from her and not truly embracing the camp spirit like they had as kids. This hurt her feelings and truthfully, scared her, though she didn't want to think about it right now.
Trying to ignore the feeling, Bethany turned to the rest of the group, saying hello to the other counselors she had worked with all summer just to ease her tension. At least she knew these people were reliable, even if they weren't her closest friends. Finally, she saw a brief opening to speak to Emma, excited to see if there was any news on her new roommate. She approached nervously, having always been intimidated by Emma’s ‘no nonsense’ personality. Emma looked up from her clipboard with a close-lipped smile.
“Ah! Bethany, just the girl I was looking for!”
Bethany felt her heart sink. Was she in trouble?
Why would Emma be looking for her?
Before she could get a word out, Emma turned and grabbed the arm of another counselor milling around and pulled her over aggressively, but not maliciously. The girl looked offended by this, glaring up at Emma with dark, brooding eyes.
“This,” she continued, “is Teagan. She’s your new roommate for the next month. Can you show her the cabin?”
Bethany stared at the girl in front of her, jaw slack. This could not be her new roommate. Teagan wore dark eyeliner around both eyes and a denim jacket covered in patches, some with words Bethany didn’t even recognize. Her hair was short, barely touching her shoulders and was unnaturally black, like she had dyed it herself. In her ears, more than a dozen rings sparkled against the firelight and for a moment, when she lifted her bag over her shoulder, her shirt raised up a little and Bethany thought she saw a tattoo on her hip. She was nothing like Leslie at all.
“You should close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Teagan said, breaking Bethany from her trance. Emma shot Teagan a glaring look, staring down at her with a tense gaze.
“Sorry,” she said as she offered a fake curtsy to Bethany,
“Where do we go?”
Teagan
Bethany's room was an absolute fucking nightmare. The banners on the walls, floral patterned clothes and stacks of bible book courses were not a welcome sight, though they were one she had fully anticipated. Last month, her mother had scolded her for not taking church “seriously” after she had come home from school and mocked the church’s pastor, challenging some of his teachings in front of the whole clergy. Her mother had been livid, threatening all sorts of punishments; from refusing to pay for her school to taking her truck away for the summer. She had eventually calmed down and decided Tegan could choose her own fate, offering her the opportunity to choose Faith Creek as a sort of “spiritual rehabilitation.” Seeing as she didn't have another way to pay for school and couldn't dream of not seeing her friends later in the summer, here she stood; staring across the room at her new, God-loving roommate for the next month.
“So.. What classes are you teaching?” Bethany asked, obviously trying to break the tension growing in the room. Her voice was sweet and bright, like a candied fruit. She stood on her side of the room next to her bed, arms crossed. The rest of the cabin was silent as kids gathered outside for evening icebreaker activities. Teagan could tell she meant well by her inquiry; surely, this Godly woman wouldn't be rude directly to her face. Still, her reaction to her appearance before had been visceral, a reaction Teagan normally loved from people, just.. usually ones she wasn't living with for extended periods of time.
“I, uh. Don't actually know. Rock climbing, I think,” Teagan answered, pulling out the papers tucked under her arm. Flipping through them all, she struggled to find the schedule she was looking for, weighed down by the lengthy pages on scripture, camp rules, and maps. Bethany watched for several moments before approaching cautiously, reaching a hand out towards the stack of papers in Teagan’s hand.
“Can I see?”
In no time at all, Bethany confirmed that this month, Teagan would be teaching rock climbing; supervising two groups, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Teagan vaguely remembered checking the “rock climbing” box on her work application, hoping her limited knowledge of belaying and alpinism could score her a “fun” assignment, as opposed to a less exciting class like a devotional or nature walks. She was pleased with this assignment, sure she could stick it out and get through the month.
Tired from the drive here, Teagan flopped down onto her bed with her hands behind her head and as if on cue, the front door to the cabin could be heard slamming as girls made their way back into the cabin laughing hysterically. The sound was grating on Teagan’s ears and immediately, she reached for a pillow that she held over her face to muffle it. Over the sound of laughter and through the feathers, she heard a cough, more like a throat clearing, and dreaded having to face Bethany. Slamming the pillow down onto her messily made bed, Teagan sat up and was met with disapproving eyes staring down at her, her arms crossed. She blinked purposefully and raised her eyebrows as if to say, “what gives?” Though she was trying her hardest to look tough, Teagan couldn’t help but chuckle under her breath at the sight of Bethany’s comically mad frown.
“Is something funny?” she asked, her eyes wide and quizzical. Though she must be angry, the softness in her voice and peachy glow in her cheeks made it hard for Teagan to tell.
“Not at all,” Teagan answered, standing and striding past her into the open cabin, their eyes locked until she actually stepped out of the room. The room fell quiet for a moment as the counselor appeared, but chaos quickly returned with Teagan’s surprisingly upbeat dismissal,
“What is up, Cabin 4!” Immediately, the sounds of shrill screams and laughter took over the room again and Bethany was left standing in her bunk, stunned, for a moment. Eventually, she found herself and returned to the main part of the cabin to help with the rowdy group.
Teagan knew the best way to get through this month would be to “fake it” until she could get off by herself and have a moment of peace. She had plenty of accelerants for that stashed in her car but truly, even just a dip in the lake on her own would put her at ease. So she did just that, pretending to love every second of camp life and following Bethany’s lead when it came to actually supervising. The campers warmed up to her right away, thinking she was just “too cool!” She watched Bethany seethe as the girls asked her questions about the patches on her jacket and about the way she did her makeup. Bethany interrupted,
“Okay girls, time for bed! Get your jammies and toothbrushes, we’re gonna walk down to the showerhouse!”
A choir of groans sang out as the girls reluctantly stood to dig through their suitcases. Teagan shot Bethany a look, intrigued by what she thought was.. jealousy? She returned to her room to get her shoes before joining Bethany and the campers at the front of the cabin, the group of them walking as a unit past the other cabins and the messhall to the showers. Bethany took a seat on a bench outside to wait as girls brushed their teeth and showered. Teagan watched as Bethany crossed her legs at the knees and the maroon fabric of her skirt tightened over her skin. Trying to ignore it and move on, she approached the showerhouse and leaned against it. She could feel her roommate’s stare boring into her as she leaned on the wooden wall of the building, staring out into the woods beyond them. Eventually, the feeling became too apparent and she had to look, turning her head abruptly to meet Bethany’s eyes. For just a moment, Teagan saw her eyes widen before she looked away, tucking her hands into her jacket and glancing back nervously only once. The two didn’t speak for the remaining 20 minutes it took for the campers to get ready for bed which only made it drag on agonizingly slow. Each minute felt like an eternity and by the time the group was on their way back to their cabin, Teagan was actually grateful for the sounds of girls screaming and laughing.
When they made it back, it was nearly 10 pm, time for the mandatory lights out. Bethany returned to the main room and took a seat at the front no longer wearing her cardigan. Instead, Teagan saw nothing but a fitted, grey camp shirt that wrapped around her in ways that seemed truly too unholy for this place. She leaned on the doorframe of their bunk as Bethany recited scripture and praised her Lord, confessing her love for Him. At least, that’s what Teagan thought she was saying; she was too focused on watching her to hear or retain anything she actually said. She couldn’t help but notice how Bethany lit up when she spoke of God, her eyes growing brighter and her smile wider. Teagan couldn’t help but notice the way her hands held the book, fingers delicately marking the pages most important to her. She was fixated on the shimmer that reflected off the necklace around her neck, catching herself very blantantly staring at Bethany’s chest before she removed herself entirely, turning and heading to their bathroom to brush her own teeth. By the time she was spitting minty water back into the sink, Bethany was back in their room and quiet whispers could be heard from the far side of the cabin, no doubt the campers telling scary stories. Teagan tried not to make eye contact as she offered a forced “smile” and walked by Bethany, their fingers briefly grazing one another’s in passing. Bethany turned her head to where Teagan had stood but by that point, she was already flopping into her bed again, oblivious to whatever Bethany needed. She was so close, if she could just make it a little longer, she’d be able to slip out and seek some sort of creature comfort. She bid her time and waited until she could hear nothing but the snores of teenagers and the soft breathing of her roommate, surely asleep now that 45 minutes had passed.
Only one floorboard had creaked as she stepped out of the cabin, one she marked the location of in her head before continuing. It was on the far side of the room she shared with Bethany and for a moment she was worried that it had woken her, turning her head to stare, hoping she hadn’t just busted herself. She stood still for several seconds, the breath caught in her throat, before she was confident that it hadn’t woken Bethany. The rest of the cabin she was less worried about. She was technically in charge, so there would be no reason for the campers to be suspicious. Quietly cracking the door open, she slipped into the cool night air, latching the screen behind her.
Bethany
Does she play me for stupid?
Bethany laid awake in a silent room staring at the wooden rafters above her. She had been a counselor for years now. Did Teagan genuinely think that she wouldn’t notice her sneaking out on the first night? She turned her head to confirm that she was actually gone, her eyes narrowing in distaste at the sight of the empty bed. Quietly, she stood and fastened her sandals before making her own way to the front of the cabin. Taking one last glace at the room full of sleeping campers, she turned and quietly latched the door just as Teagan had. She wasn’t entirely sure where she should look first until she remembered that Teagan had driven here herself. She set off with determination, making her way across the campground to the parking area to see if she could find her untrustworthy roommate.
The parking lot was empty. No lights were on, no engines ran, and nothing look disturbed, so Bethany turned again, unsure if she should just go get Emma or continue looking on her own. She thought back to how the campers had reacted to Teagan, seemingly loving her and wanting to know everything about her while offering Bethany the same lukewarm greeting she was used to from campers their age. When she was younger, she’d had a similar counselor to Teagan for a summer, and though she would never admit it, she had always liked her more than the others. She had been so unique, so cool. So pretty. Just then, a noise pulled her from her thoughts. Rocks tumbling near the lake caused her to snap her head to the side, bee-lining it for the noise she had just heard.
She tried to keep quiet as her sandals moved across the gravel towards the treeline. There was a small trail that lead down to the lake shore, usually only used for the counselor-only parties that were held at the end of each month. Bethany didn’t ususally make the walk out here at night; every week this summer she had been down by the lake before sunset and come back when it was barely dusk. Still, she slipped between the trees on the narrow trail and leaves grazed her bare arms as she made her way into the rocky opening. Immediately, she knew she had been right.
The moon was full tonight and shined down across the lake with a bright, glowing brilliance. Normally, Bethany would have loved this sight. The reflection on the water danced back at her in silver waves that couldn’t be dampened out by the darkness of the lake, even at it’s deepest points. The pine trees loomed over the far side of the lake and created a distinct skyline; triangular tips of branches seemed to pierce the few clouds that floated above. They were so far into the country at Faith Creek that the stars shined brighter than normal, too, unobstructed by city lights or smog. Unfortunately for Bethany, in the middle of it all, a figure sat illuminated by the moon’s glory, leaning back on her elbows, ruining the view for her. Bethany stood still and watched as the feeling of her nightgown tickled her as wind blew the fabric against her calves.
It didn’t seem like Teagan was… doing anything, just sitting there and admiring the evening, sort of like she was. Bethany began to second guess herself now. She had marched over here with a determination, ready to get Teagan thrown from the camp or at least from her cabin, but she started to wonder if she had misread the situation… Taking a deep breath, Bethany took a step forward and the trail crunched under her foot loud enough that she looked down, nervous the sound would give her away. When she raised her head again, Teagan was looking back in her direction, already rising to her feet. In a split moment, Bethany ran through her options. She could run, now realizing that she was out past curfew, too, she didn’t want to get caught either. She could hide in the brush off the side of the trail, though her nightgown was a bright white and Teagan would surely see it. Or she could do.. nothing. She ended up choosing the latter, deciding that she would hold her ground and confront the girl that was already making her summer hellacious.
Putting on her strongest face, she raised her head and pushed her shoulders back as she saw Teagan making her way to the trail where she stood. In just a second, her co-counselor was walking up to her with an inquisitive look in her eyes. She tried to read past the look and figure out what Teagan was actually thinking, but before she could determine anything, her thoughts were interrupted.
“I didn’t take you as someone who would sneak out.”
Her voice was low and soft as she spoke, careful not to raise her pitch. Bethany stared back at her, the “strong” face she had donned now having melted into a look of confusion as she thought about the words.
“I didn’t sneak out! I’m only here because you left in the middle of the night!” She could feel her own voice rushing as she hurried to get the words out, now annoyed that Teagan was accusing her of breaking rules for no reason.
“It’s 11 pm..” Teagan couldn’t help but crack a smile, tilting her head to the side as she continued. “Plus, don’t you think it’s gorgeous?” The question irritated Bethany.
“Obviously, I do, look at-”
“Then why don’t you just come sit with me?”
Bethany felt her face run red as the words sank into her. She wasn’t sure why, but she hoped that Teagan couldn’t see it in the dim light. Several seconds passed in an uneasy silence as the two of them gazed back at each other, Bethany’s mind racing. She hated being out of her cabin this late, there was no one in the bunk in case of an emergency! It would be her fault if anything went wrong! Still, the campers this month were older than usual and were sleeping peacefully back in their cabin, blissfully unaware of the crisis Bethany had found herself in. Waves could be heard lapping against the sand as she gathered herself, pursing her lips before she spoke.
“Fine. But only for a few minutes.”
Teagan stepped to the side and opened up the path for her to walk past, comically gesturing to Bethany like she was a game-show contestant. She narrowed her eyes at her and took a cautious step towards the sandy beach, thinking about all the trouble they could get in for being here. Still, her heart pounded as adrenaline coursed through her, excited about ‘breaking the rules,’ even if it was over something as mundane as stargazing. As Bethany got closer, she could see that Teagan had brought a towel to the beach to sit on. She shot an uneasy look in her direction, though Teagan did not see it. Approaching slowly, she lowered herself onto the yellow chevron pattern and crossed her legs to keep them off the sand, leaning back on her hands to get a better view of the sky. Seconds later, Teagan joined her. She stretched out her bare legs and crossed them at the ankle, leaning back on her elbows as she had been when Bethany approached. Bethany could feel warmth radiating off of her as the two shared a towel, staring up at the dark, moonlit sky.
“Come on.” He almost laughs at her weak defense. “We both know that if Boy Jerry found out that I was, in your own words, preaching to the campers he'd have me back in solitary for the rest of camp.”
They've reached the Gomorrah Cabin by now, and Pete doesn't bother waiting for her answer before going inside and plopping down onto his bed. He expects Jeri to leave him, she probably has a million things to do around camp, but she doesn't. Instead she walks in and sits on the bed beside him.
“He really does care about you, you know?” She says after a moment. Pete doesn't bother hiding the snort she illicit. “I mean it. He cares about all his campers.”
“Well he has a funny way of showing it.”
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A/N: And after taking a short break for the holidays we are back! This was originally going to be just one chapter, but I went feral and wrote 17k words, so I decided to break it into two chapters for an easier reading experience. I hope you'll enjoy!
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Ted,
It feels silly writing you this letter. Calling you would be so much easier, but of course the Jerries don't allow any phone calls unless they're for ‘an actual emergency’. I don't know how calling my brother could increase the urge to masturbate but they're pretty insistent that it would, so we're stuck writing letters. Steph keeps joking that it makes her feel Amish.
The baby is doing well so far, Steph and I've started calling them Bean until we have a name picked. They decided they want to take martial arts like their uncle, and they keep practicing on my liver. Apparently they're the size of a butternut squash now (at least that's what that book Emma got me on baby development says) but I swear they feel bigger. The morning sickness finally stopped, thank god, and now they're on a mission to get me to drink as much chocolate milk as possible. Steph says they take after me.
Camp has been okay. There were some hiccups settling in the first week, but everything seems to be settling down now. The Jerries are every bit of crazy as you said they were, especially Boy Jerry. You'd think that stick he has shoved up his ass would be counterproductive to the whole ‘abstinent for life thing’, but I doubt he'll remove it anytime soon.
Girl Jeri is slightly better, I suppose. She just pities me I think, which is better than acting like my very existence is offensive. And she lets me skip any camp activities that are too physical for someone in my condition so that's a plus.
The rest of the campers are nice at least. Alice is at camp this year- I guess her mom decided to send her cause she kept sneaking out- so I know two people here. Well, three if you count Grace Chasity. She's in her element at camp, since she's probably the only person who genuinely enjoys the whole abstinence thing. I thought she was a lot before, but her antics at school have nothing on the stunts she's pulled at camp.
She's gotten really overbearing excited to help with the pregnancy too. She's already claimed herself as the baby's godmother. I can't even tell you how many Bible stories she's read to Bean. At least she's friendly though. I'd rather have Grace as a friend than an enemy.
She's also really worried about Bean being born out of wedlock, so much so that she's convinced the Jerries to hold a wedding for Steph and I during parents weekend. She's sending out invites to all the parents as I write this, so I'm sure your invitation will get there shortly. Honestly we almost said no to the wedding, but the look on Boy Jerry's face when he realized he'd have to let us share a cabin convinced us. Besides, I already know I want to spend my life with Steph, so it's not that crazy.
I can't wait to see you at parents weekend. There's so much I want to tell you, but its better if we speak in person. I lov I'll be glad to see you again. And even gladder to come home with Bean and Steph. See you in two weeks.
-Peter Spankoffski
“Last call for mail!”
Pete jumps at the sound and hurriedly stuffs his letter into an envelope, placing one of the camp's custom Camp Idontwannabang stamps (complete with a cross and dove) in the corner before rushing to the main building where a line of campers is already forming. He groans at the sight, knowing Bean is going to Hate™ waiting in that line just to mail a letter.
Still, there's nothing he can do about it: his letter needs to get mailed this week so he can tell Ted about the wedding before the invitation comes. So, already dreading the ache in his back this will cause, Pete gets in the back of the line. Well he tries to at least. But, just as he's gotten in the line, Grace comes running to the building holding a sack, a literal sack, of letters.
“Make way, I need to mail these wedding invitations. We don't want any of our parents not to have a gift for the parents of Christ, do we?” She says, elbowing her way to the front of the line. The other campers, to Pete's shock, let her cut past them without a single complaint. Then again, he supposed it wasn't that shocking that they'd let her do that. It was becoming very clear that Grace Chastity held all the real power at Camp Idontwannabang.
“Pete!” She spots him and runs over. “Why are you waiting in line?”
“I want to mail a letter?” He states, as if it isn't obvious. “To my brother, just to tell him about the wedding.”
Grace sighs, shaking her head at him as if he was dumb. Then, in a swift motion, she's adjusted her sack and grabbing his hand. “You still don't have to wait in the line.” She says as she pulls him forward, “You're carrying the Messiah, you go first.”
“Grace I don't think that's a go-”
“It's fine. Look, you said that the baby gets fussy when you're stuck in long lines right?” He nods at the question. “Then this is for the good of the baby. Now come on. Okay everybody, out of the way, mother- sorry- father of christ coming through.”
They're at the front of the line before Pete can say another word. “Here we go. I made one for everyone on your list, and all the parents coming to camp.” Grace says as she places the sack on the table. Then she reaches into a pocket and pulls out a baby blue envelope. “And this is for my parents. They'll be so excited for you.”
Boy Jerry looks at the pile and grimaces. “Don't you think that's a lot of invitations Grace? I doubt every parent needs to know about the wedding, they're visiting to check on their children after all.”
“Pardon my French Jerry but pish posh applesauce. Who wouldn't want the opportunity to see the parents of Christ get married? It's historic. Why, if I thought it was a good idea, I'd contact the news so they could televise it.”
Pete pales at the mention of the news. The last thing he needed was Day Reynolds and Donna Daggit reporting on his wedding. “Please don't contact the news, Grace.” He blurts.
“You don't want the news here, Peter?” Boy Jerry turns on him, his ever present smile turning almost predatory. “Why on Earth not? Don't you want people to know you're carrying Christ, S-man?”
“I…”, Pete swallows, trying to come up with an answer. Fuck, he should have just kept his mouth shut.
“It's for their safety, Jerry.” Grace cuts in before Pete can come up with an excuse. “Look at how King Herod pursued Jesus. And now the world is so much more connected than it was when Jesus was born. Imagine how many awful people would try to hurt the little Messiah if they found out now. So it's safer if Peter pretends he's having a regular baby, isn't that right Peter?”
“Yeah.” Pete nods, ever thankful for Grace's ability to use the Bible to justify anything. Really, it should concern him how good she is at that, but that's a problem for another day. “I want Bean to have a normal childhood, not one where they're hunted by strangers for being the second coming.”
“Exactly. I didn't even put that on the invitations.” Grace nods. Pete quietly thanks whatever god is listening that she left that off the invitations. God knows what Ted would say if he saw that . It's better if only certain people know for now.”
“Then why, if I might ask,” Jerry starts through gritted teeth, “did you tell everyone at camp? That's a lot of people to trust with your secret.”
“Well this is a godly camp, isn't it?” Pete counters, thinking on his feet. “I knew that none of you would want to see my baby hurt. Especially you, Boy Jerry. I mean, what kind of godly man would want to see a baby harmed? Let alone a baby that's the Messiah.”
Jerry nods in response, looking like he sucked on a lemon. Pete has to stop himself from laughing as he puts his envelope in the mail bag. “There we go, I wanted to personally invite my brother to the wedding.”
“Right.” Jerry nods, the vein in his head bulging. “Well if that's all you should get back to your afternoon activities.”
“Of course.” Grace says, voice as chipper as always, and drags Pete away. “See you at the evening sermon Boy Jerry!”
Pete waits until they're just out of earshot before breaking down into laughter. “Did you see his face?” He says between bouts of laughing. “I thought his head was going to explode when you mentioned King Herod.”
Grace watches for a minute before she's infected with his laughter, tears welling up in her eyes and clutching her sides from the force of it. They stand there like that for a moment, laughing in the middle of the Witchwood like a couple of fools. Pete's sure that anyone who saw them would think they were insane, but he honestly can't bring himself to stop.
“Thank you.” He says when he's finally able to stop laughing. “For defending me all these times. You've been a good friend, Grace.” The most shocking part is that he means it. Prior to camp he never would have considered Grace Chasity a friend, she was an acquaintance at best, but now?
She'd stuck her neck out for him multiple times now, gone to solitary for him (a fate that Grace clearly considered worse than prison). Even now, with the Jerries too afraid of another mutiny to actually punish him, Grace protected him every time Boy Jerry so much as implied that he was lying.
That had to make them friends right? Even if it was all based on a lie.
“Of course, Peter. I can't let Boy Jerry besmirch your or the baby's reputation.” Grace shakes her head. She goes quiet for a moment. Then, so softly Pete almost doesn't hear her, she speaks. “You know, I've known the Jerries my whole life. I looked up to them for staying abstinent as adults despite the pressure from society. Boy Jerry was the one who taught me that I need to control how I behave so others don't have lustful thoughts. But what they did: calling you a liar, locking you up, denying your baby as their savior. I can't believe that they would do that. I never thought of them as Pharisees.”
“Well,” he swallows, looking for something to comfort her with, “they might come around. People didn't believe Jesus at first, did they? He had to prove himself as the savior before he gained followers.” He says hoping his (poor) knowledge of the Bible won't fail him.
“I guess you're right. It's just disappointing.” Grace maneuvers around his bump to hug Pete. He returns the gesture, clearly she needs the comfort. “Thank you for showing me the truth. I'm glad God picked you to bring Christ back to Earth.”
“You're welcome, Grace.” He says, thankful she can't see his wince at the lie.
Part of him wants to move on, to change the subject to something less uncomfortable, but the sound of her saying, ‘ control how I behave’ keeps playing on his head on repeat. Grace had been taught that since she was a kid. All the campers here had been taught that. It was no wonder she was like that .
Pete's parents, Anna and Buster Spankoffski, had died before they'd gotten to have the talk with him, but they'd always made sure that he knew that no meant no. And Ted… Ted had stressed the importance of consent from the moment he'd adopted Pete, in his own Ted way of course. He could still remember the talks. ‘ Okay Petey, if anyone ever touches you and you don't want that, you knee them right in the dick. Understood?’
Grace never learned any of that from the church. But maybe that could change. She certainly trusted him, and the others trusted Grace. Pete's not sure what to say to her, but he knows he can't let this slide, not when he might have the power to change it. So, before he's even realized what he's doing, Pete opens his mouth and-
“Grace? You know that stuff Boy Jerry told you about controlling how you behave is wrong, right?”
Grace stares at him like he's grown a second head. “No, it's true. If I act like a harlot I’ll lead men to sin. I’d be no better than Lilith.”
“But that's not true. It's their job to control how they react.” Pete thinks back to all the Bible stories she'd told him so far, looking for any evidence. He's not as good as Grace at twisting the Bible to suit his needs though, so he comes up empty. “Doesn't Jesus say to pluck your eyes out if they cause you to sin?”
Grace nods. “Yea in, Matthew 5:29.”
“There you go then! Even Jesus doesn't think that. If someone looks at you with lust, that's not your fault, it's theirs.”
“But the Jerries are pastors. Why would they get that wrong?”
“They think I'm lying don't they? Maybe they're wrong about other things.”
Grace blinks once. Then twice. Pete can almost see the gears turning in your head. “You're sure?”
Pete nods. Time to go in for the kill. “God picked me to carry the Messiah right? That must count for something.”
“I guess you're right.” Grace nods. Then she goes silent and stays that way as they walk. Pete is just beginning to question if he's done something wrong when she finally speaks again. “I need to go back to my cabin. I'll see you later, Peter.”
Then, without another word, she's gone. Pete sighs as he watches her walk away. He watches her until she reaches her cabin, disappearing from sight. It's only when she's gone does turn and heads towards the lake, hoping he can find Steph. He can only hope he did the right thing.
-
It isn't until after dinner that Pete sees her again: the evening sermon has just ended, Boy Jerry having spent it warning the camp of the danger of deceivers. He'd pivoted away from his usual talks on the importance of abstinence as of late, instead choosing to focus on false prophets. He's never too direct of course, not wanting to incur Grace's wrath once more, but it's still obvious who Jerry means when he speaks.
Pete, for his part, is picking and choosing his battles and this isn't worth the effort. Besides, it's funnier watching Jerry fume when he doesn't react. So he pretends not to notice how Jerry looks at him every time he mentions snakes in the grass, or how every day less and less people are paying attention.
Luckily, it was the last sermon of the day, and Pete can spend the rest of the evening enjoying himself. So he's with Steph, sitting under an old oak tree, coming up with baby names.
“I'm not naming our child Eleanor, Pete.” Or well, trying to come up with names. They'd mostly been shooting down suggestions. Not that Pete was complaining, of course. He was just happy to spend some time with her.
“What's wrong with Eleanor? It means shining light, which is pretty and we can call her Ellie for short. And she can have Eleanor Roosevelt as a role model.”
Steph snorts. “So, you don't think I'm enough of a role model, is that what you're saying?”
Pete blanches. “No, I didn't mean that at all. I just meant-”
Steph presses her lips to his in a quick kiss, effectively stopping all thoughts. She pulls away, giggling, and shoves his shoulder playfully. “Dude, I'm just messing with you.”
He sighs in relief. “Oh thank god. I don't want you to think that I think you're a bad role model or something. You're amazing. It's just good to have multiple role models, you know?”
Steph smiles at him. “You're such a nerd, Spankoffski.” She says in lieu of an answer.
Pete can't help but laugh at that. “Maybe. But I'm your nerd.” He retorts.
“Damn right, you're mine.” She says with such ferocity that Pete has to look away to keep from blushing. Honestly it was rude of her, teasing him like that in abstinence camp of all places. Especially when she knows how his hormones have been lately.
“Okay. Back to names before I do something that gets me thrown in solitary again.” He says, trying to think of anything to cool his racing heartbeat down. Eventually he settles on Boy Jerry naked, and that seems to do it.
Steph laughs again. “Fine, but I swear once we're married…” She doesn't finish her sentence and Pete can only imagine the things she has planned. “What about Alexis?”
“Ehh, it's okay. I like Alexandria better though.” He says then, after checking that the coast is clear, lays his head on her lap. The counselors had been more lenient about letting them be alone since their engagement, but Pete doubts they'd let something like this slide. He already knows they'd consider his head way too close to her crotch.
“We can put it in the maybe list for now.” Steph says, reaching down to pet his hair. Pete sighs at the touch: Steph had always been a fan of resting her head in his lap and letting him play with her hair. Of course, she hadn't been able to do that since he'd started showing, the bump taking up too much room on his lap for her to feel comfortable. Never one to give up, she'd taken to reversing their roles, pulling his head into her lap and playing with his hair instead. He'd been against before, feeling awkward with that level of intimacy, but the first touch of her hands against his scalp. Her touch always seemed to relax him, his stress melting away under her careful ministrations until all that was left was them. Pete definitely understood why Steph loved it so much.
“What about Amelia?” He asks, closing his eyes. He could definitely fall asleep like this if he wasn't careful.
“I like Amelia but I feel like everyone would call her Mia, which I don't like.”
“Fair.” Pete says. “Remind me again why we need a girl's name again? I'm positive we're having a boy.”
“Because the doctor couldn't tell us for certain, remember?”
“Oh, right.” He'd gone in for one last appointment the week before camp, knowing that he wouldn't be able to make any more appointments over the summer. After giving him plenty of pamphlets on the signs of pre-eclampsia and making him promise to call if he felt the slightest big off, the OBGYN had given him one last sonogram in hopes of finding out the gender. It was all for naught though: Bean had kept their legs fully crossed the entire appointment, and no amount of coaxing could convince them to move. Eventually Pete had resigned himself to not knowing, but every fiber of his being screamed that he was having a boy.
“Besides, with our luck we'll plan for a boy and have a girl. It's better to be prepared.”
“Alright, alright, I concede. You're right.” Pete snorts. He wants to say more but before he can, his attention is caught by the large group coming towards him. “What the hell?” He mumbles as he sits up.
There's at least 10 people in the group, all girls, probably 12-17 if Pete had to guess, but that's not what catches his attention. No, instead it's Grace who catches his attention, leading the group with her Bible pressed firmly to her chest. She walks right Pete, the rest of the group stopping a few feet away, and looks him dead in the eye before speaking. “Tell them what you told me earlier.”
“What?” Steph asks.
“Tell them what you told me earlier.” She repeats herself. “About plucking your eyes out.”
Pete winces. Fuck. He pushed it too far and Grace realized he's a fraud. She's going to denounce him in front of everyone and he's going back to solitary for the reminder of camp. “Grace-”
“Please.” She cuts him off. Pete wants to tell her to forget it, but then he looks Grace in the eye and sees it. She's not staring at him in anger, or hurt, or betrayal. No, she's looking at him in desperation. “They want to know.”
“Okay.” He swallows. “Well Jesus said to pluck your eyes out if it'll prevent you from sinning. So that means that it's not your fault if someone looks at you in lust.”
“But Boy Jerry says that we'll tempt the guys if we're not careful. That’s why we have to wear swimsuits in the bathroom.” One of the younger girls, Pete thinks her name is Rachel, says in confusion.
“If looking at you tempts them then that's something they need to deal with. You just focus on yourself.”
“So our job is just to focus on our own path of abstinence? Not theirs?” Another girl asks.
“Yeah. Something like that.” He nods.
“I told you.” Grace says, turning towards the group. “Peter is being blessed with the teachings of the baby savior. We need to listen to him.”
He blinks. “I don't know if I would say blessed.” He tries to explain.
“But you are blessed.” Grace insists. “The baby must be communicating with you in the womb so you can teach us their wisdom. Oh Peter, you're so lucky to have such a holy experience.”
Steph looks at him in confusion but Pete just nods at her to just go with it. The last thing they need is to get caught in a lie.
“I guess I am lucky. Okay then,” he gestures for the others to sit, “what do you want to know?”
There's a barrage of voices speaking all at once, some louder than the others. “Girls!” Grace shouts, watching as they all quiet at her command. “One at a time please.”
There's a raise of hands and Pete eventually settles on one. She's one of the younger girls, wearing yellow overalls over her pink camp shirt and flowers braided into her hair. She speaks in a soft voice, body trembling as she does. “I started bleeding today. From down there.” She points at her legs. “But I'm not hurt. Is that the devil trying to punish me?”
“Oh sweetie, no.” His heart aches at the fear in her voice. “That's not the devil. That's just your period.”
“What's a period?” She asks.
Pete blinks. Surely she was old enough to get the talk. Why wouldn't her parents teach her what a period was. God, it was probably another purity thing. He bristles at the realization. Those assholes.
“Well it's a sign you're growing up. When you get old enough you have periods to tell you that you can have babies. And once a month, you'll have a period to tell you that you're not pregnant.”
She gasps. “But I don't want to have a baby yet.”
“It's okay. You won't have any until you're married.” Pete says hurriedly, hoping it'll reassure her. “There's a lot to it and I can explain more later, but why don't you go with Grace to get cleaned up and get a pad to absorb the blood, okay?”
She nods and Grace stands up, taking her back to the cabins. Pete waits for them to leave before turning back to the group. “Okay who's next.”
He spends the next two hours answering question after question. Most of them are puberty related, their parents too scared of tainting their purity to actually teach them about their bodies. Some are about relationships, and Pete is sure to emphasize that they can love (or not love) whoever they want. From what he's seen the church is accepting of gay relationships, but he's not risking it. He doesn't actually mention the topic of abstinence, not wanting to poke that wasp's nest quite yet. Maybe one day he'll tell them that having premarital sex isn't evil, when they trust him more. But today is not that day.
The girls soak up what he says like sponges, he even sees some of them taking notes. They're clearly desperate for a role model that isn't Boy Jerry and Pete is happy to provide that, even if he's not sure if he's a good one. He cares about actually educating them though, and that's more than he can't say about Jerry.
The group only breaks when they're called to head back to their cabins for the night. “Can we ask your more questions tomorrow Peter?” Another girl, Sarah asks.
He nods. “Of course. Same time, same place.” He looks at the group when it hits him. “And don't tell the Jerries about this okay? We've seen that they don't believe the way we do.”
They nod and, satisfied that they won't get in trouble for daring to ask questions, Pete sends them on their way. Eventually, it's just him and Steph again under the tree. “Sorry about that.” He apologizes with a smile. “I didn't mean for our evening to get interrupted.”
“It's fine. You were spreading your teachings to the masses.” Steph snorts. She stands up, offering a hand to him to do the same. “Let me walk you back to your cabin?”
“Of course.” He says, taking her hand. They make their way back to the Gomorrah Cabin slowly, neither in any hurry to end their night together. “Thank you for rolling with it. For a second I thought Grace was going to say I was lying.”
“She's definitely a true believer.” Steph says with a grin. “Which is good for us.”
“Yeah. I can't believe one joke turned into all this.”
“It's a lot.” Steph sighs. “But it keeps you safe so I don't care. I hated seeing that dick try to humiliate you.”
“I knew he would do it. But it's nice being untouchable.”
“It is. And you were pretty good back there. You could start your own religion if you wanted to.” Steph smirks.
He laughs at the joke. “Think it's a little late for that. Petei-ism seems to be getting popular. Maybe we can buy a church.”
“Good idea. You can't tax churches.” They both break out in laughter at that. “I mean it though. You're good with kids.”
“I'd hope so, I don't think Bean is going wait for us to become good with kids to be born.” He reaches out to hold her hand.
“Probably not.” She shrugs. “But you're better than all of their parents at least.”
“I can't believe anyone could teach their child that.” Pete groans. “That little girl had no idea what a period is. She thought that she was being punished! Punished!”
“It's awful.” Steph agrees.
“As long as Bean doesn't end up like that I will consider it a success.” Pete stops as the Gomorrah Cabin comes into view. It's a completely different sight than when he'd arrived. Girl Jeri had taken it upon herself to do small repairs that the cabin needed: she's replaced the wobbly steps, oiled the creaky door, and even painted the spots where the paint was chipped or peeling. It almost looked like a normal cabin, save for the sign with Gomorrah painted on it in big letters.
“Here we are.” Steph sighed as they walked to the door. “Your cabin.”
“It'll be our cabin soon.” He smiles. “I've already pushed the beds together.”
“Our cabin.” Steph repeats with a smile. “I can't wait.”
“Did you tell your dad?” Pete asks. He can't imagine Solomon being supportive of the wedding, judging by his reaction to Bean's existence.
“No. I'm just going to let Grace's invitation tell him, he'll take it better from someone else. And I really don't care. We're only in this position because of his stupid campaign and if he doesn't like it then tough shit.”
Pete laughs at her blunt words, falling more in love with her as she speaks. “Fair enough. I told Ted. He'll freak out and think we're being pressured if I don't say something.”
“At least he's supportive.” Steph sighs. “I hate my dad for doing this to you.”
“He's not doing anything to me. I'm here willingly.” Pete promises
Steph gives him a look. “We both know you wouldn't be here if he hadn't forced me to go.”
“Maybe.” Pete shrugs. “That doesn't matter though.”
“I still hate him.”
“I know.” Pete sighs. “You know, we'll be married. You could always move in with me and Ted after camp.”
“I could. And it would be good for Bean.” Steph smiles at the idea. “You sure you won't get sick of me?”
“Positive.” He smiles. A single firefly flies between them and, soon enough, there's an entire swarm of them around the cabin, illuminating the night as they dance around them. It looks like something from a romcom. Getting an idea, Pete pulls her as close as physically possible before pressing a kiss to her lips. It's one of the few they've shared since arriving at camp, and he's sure to pour all his love for her into it, knowing he probably won't get another chance to kiss her until their wedding.
“Good.” Steph breathes when they finally pull apart. Pete can't help but smile at how breathless he's left her, knowing he feels the exact same. “You know, I'm liking this marriage thing more and more everyday. I'm kinda glad Grace suggested it.”
“So am I.” Pete nods. He turns to open his cabin then pauses, a thought hitting him. “What about Grace? For a girl.”
There's a beat of silence before they both exclaim, “Absolutely not!”, simultaneously. Pete laughs at their syncing before continuing. “You're right. It's a bad idea.”
“It is.” Steph says. “Can you imagine what she'd do if she thought we were naming the ‘second coming of Christ’ after her? It would go to her head.”
“You're right.” Pete smiles. It isn't until a counselor orders Steph to go to her cabin that they exchange goodnights, and it's not until he sees her safely go in her cabin that Pete goes inside his own. He smiles as he shuts the door. This wedding was the best thing to ever happen to him.
-
“Oh Peter! Not like that!” Grace scolds as she takes his latest flower from him. “You need to fold it like this, that way they seams aren't visible.”
Or maybe the wedding would be the death of him.
With Parents Weekend fast approaching, preparations for the wedding had gone into full swing. Grace had taken over most of it, and Pete was more than happy to give her control. So for the most part, Grace had made all the decisions, only occasionally asking him or Steph for their input. So far she'd planned the food, music, and even seating arrangements without any problems. It was when it came to decorations that they hit a snafu: Grace wanted the wedding to have real decorations, the kind that they didn't have access to while at camp. She'd agonized over it for days before Pete, taking pity, suggested that they reuse what was available at camp. Grace had taken to the idea like a house on fire: lanterns were made into centerpieces, the baskets they wove filled with wedding programs she'd managed to print out. She even wanted to use the wallets they made as wedding favors.
The only thing missing was flowers. Pete was fine doing without and he knew Steph felt the same, but Grace was determined to give this wedding flowers. She'd already found several patches of wildflowers around the forest and was monitoring them to ensure they would be perfect for the big day. Still, it wasn't enough for Grace. She was just short of trying to smuggle in a florist when Girl Jeri had an idea.
She showed all the girls (and Pete) how to make flowers out of tissue paper and string them into garland. Grace had loved the idea and immediately roped everyone into making them with her. “Many hands make light work.” She'd stated at the time.
Which is how he ended up here: in an assembly line making tissue paper flowers. He and Steph made flower after flower while Grace strung them into the garlands. It was fine at first. The flowers were easy enough to make and between all the volunteers he didn't have to make that many flowers. He thought it would be fine. Of course he forgot one thing.
Grace Chastity has control issues.
Pete has to bite his tongue to keep from groaning as she demonstrates how to correctly fold the flower. It was at least the tenth time she'd done something like this, despite the fact that the flowers looked exactly the same no matter which way you folded them. He wonders briefly if she's always had such bad control issues, or if her newfound power at camp had brought them to light, before she hands him the ‘fixed’ flower with a saccharine smile.
“See? Doesn't it look so much better this way?”
“Yeah, Grace. It really does.” Pete deadpans. “I'll be sure to fold them that way from now on.”
“Good! Your wedding has to be perfect.” She claps her hands together in excitement at the thought. The action is enough to make Steph snort, her dark eyes twinkling as she shoots Pete a bemused smile. His lips stretch to match instantly. “Now where was I?”
She turns back towards her Bible and begins reading again. She did this a lot lately: picking a story about Jesus’ life as they worked and reading it aloud for Steph and Pete (not that either of them ever really listened). Apparently she wanted to make them experts in the Bible before Pete gave birth, that way she could teach the baby their purpose. He had no intentions of forcing religion on any of his future children, but Pete figured it was easier to just let Grace read than argue with her about it.
Today's story was about Mary and Joseph losing Jesus while traveling and finding him at a temple in a discussion with religious scholars. “Even as a child Jesus knew that he was holy!” Grace had said when she'd picked out the story. She seemed to think it was a good thing, yet all Pete could think about was Mary. How'd she'd spent three days searching for her son before she'd found him. Three days where she didn't know if her child was safe. The mere idea turns his blood to ice. It isn't until he feels a hard kick against his ribs that Pete remembers his baby is safe inside him. He's never been more grateful for bruised ribs.
“MAIL CALL!” A voice on the announcement speakers cuts Grace off in her story, and Pete can't help but feel grateful at the distraction.
“Oooh! Mommy said she was sending a care package this week!” Grace jumps up into a standing posting, almost running to the door. Steph wasn't far behind. Pete however, takes considerably longer getting up- you try jumping to your feet when you're 7 months pregnant- and by the time they've made it to the door he's only to his knees.
“W-wait up!” He calls weakly after them. “You know, some of us are making a human here!”
“Oh shit!” Steph rushes back to him, placing her hands around his waist. “Here, lean on me.”
Eventually, with her help, Pete's able to struggle to his feet. “Thanks,” he pants once he's properly standing, “I swear it gets harder every time I do that.”
He adjusts his shirt and watches out the corner of his eye as Steph worries her bottom lip with her teeth. It's honestly adorable and if Grace weren’t watching he would kiss her. “Probably because the baby knows you should be resting. You should go back to your bunk, I'll get any mail you have.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods and places a hand on his bump. “I can carry an extra package. Besides, I promised your brother I'd take care of you.”
“Ok ok, I'll go rest. But I promise I'm fine. It's just getting harder to move now that I'm showing like this.” Pete promises. In lieu of a kiss, Pete chooses to tuck a lock of Steph's hair behind her ear. “See you soon?”
“I'll be as fast as I can.”
The walk back to his cabin is one of the first times Pete's been alone since his release from solitary, everyone being too busy reading letters from their parents to focus on him. He's glad for the silence it provides, it's like he can hear himself think for the first time in so long. Ever the introvert, Pete had always enjoyed his alone time, and it was something that he'd missed while at camp. Whether it be a sermon, concerts, camp activities, or answering questions for the other campers, Pete was always surrounded by other people these days. It was nice to just listen to the uninterrupted sounds of nature: the wind blowing, the birds chirping, and-
“Peter!”
And the call of an overly perky camp counselor.
He groans as Girl Jeri walks up to him, her ever present sunshiny smile plastered to her face. She's holding a checklist in her hand, probably some kind of itinerary but Pete honestly doesn't care enough to ask.
“Mail's here.” She says. “Aren't you going to see if you got anything?”
“Steph said she'd check for me. I was going to rest in my cabin. After all, it's hard work carrying the Messiah.” Pete answers, making sure to really drive home that last bit. Can't let her think he was lying about it being immaculate (he totally was).
Jeri nods. “Right. I suppose that makes sense. Can I walk you to your cabin?”
Every part of Pete wants to say no, but he just nods instead. Better to stay in her good graces for now. “Okay. If you're not busy.” He says, praying she'll back out.
She doesn't, and next thing Pete knows he's walking with Girl Jeri, neither of them saying a word. Pete's once beloved silence now thick heavy between them. He desperately searches for any shred of a conversation, but it's all in vain. All he can do is hope that she'll say something to break the tension between them.
His hopes are answered when she turns to him. “How has the pregnancy been treating you?” She asks. Pete winces. Not a conversation he particularly wants to have with Girl Jeri but beggars be choosers.
“It's been okay. The morning sickness was pretty bad at first, but that calmed down before camp started.”
Jeri nods, never making eye contact with him. “That's good to hear. And the baby? They seem healthy?”
“Oh, yeah.” He nods, not wanting to divulge any more information than he has to. Like hell he would willingly tell one of the Jerries about Bean. Even if Girl Jeri wasn't as extreme. “They're really active.”
“Good. That's a good sign that they're healthy.” She smiles again, that cloyingly sweet, fake smile that drives Pete insane. It was dangerous, like when Boy Jerry smiled at him, but it was just so vacant of any real emotion. It reminds him of his mom showing him ‘The Stepford Wives’ for the first time: all those poor women turned into robots, fake smiles on their faces to hide their real emotions. And yet this time it's different. Pete swears for just a millisecond he can see something that looks like longing in Girl Jeri's eyes. Then, just as quickly as it came, it's gone and that overly perky expression is back. “You know, I've heard from one of the counselors that you've been tutoring some of the other campers in religion, is that so?”
Some of the campers was putting it lightly. He'd continued to have talks with the others every night since that first night, answering whatever questions they had about puberty and the like, and every night their numbers had grown. It had started with just girls attending, but soon enough the guys had joined them. Now they had a pretty mixed group of 20 or so campers, and Pete was sure that there would be more tonight.
Pete sighs, having known this talk was coming for a while. Truthfully, he's shocked it took this long for it to come out. Sure he told his group to keep their meetings a secret from the Jerries, but with their numbers it had to be hard to miss. If anything, he's glad that it's Girl Jeri who found out first. Boy Jerry would probably call it mutiny if he knew.
“I've been talking to some of the campers, yes.” He answers carefully. The last thing he needs is for the rest of camp to get punished because of him. “But I don't know if I'd call it tutoring. I'm just answering questions.”
“Yes, questions that require your ‘heavenly wisdom’.” Jeri says and if not for the coy smile on her lips Pete would think he was in trouble.
“Well I am carrying the child of God, so I suppose I'm getting some kind of wisdom via osmosis. Like I said, I just answer their questions.”
“Well your answers are getting popular. You have a bright future as a pastor.” Pete can't keep the grimace off of his face at the idea of him as a pastor. This was one thing: Grace was the main force behind their movement, and if Pete went along with her ideas to survive camp, then that was nobody's business but his own.
But standing in front of a church week after week? Preaching beliefs he doesn't have based on something he knew was a lie? He couldn't imagine doing that.
Maybe that was the difference between him and Boy Jerry: Boy Jerry would do anything for control, Pete just wanted to be left alone.
“I don't want to be a pastor.” He says definitively.
Jeri blinks at him, like she never comprehended that he wouldn't want to go into religion. “Well it's still nice to see you getting along with the other campers.” She says in a chipper voice.
“Would your Co-head Pastor agree with you if he knew?” Pete can't keep the venom out of his voice as he speaks.
“Who says Jerry doesn't know?”
“Come on.” He almost laughs at her weak defense. “We both know that if Boy Jerry found out that I was, in your own words, preaching to the campers he'd have me back in solitary for the rest of camp.”
They've reached the Gomorrah Cabin by now, and Pete doesn't bother waiting for her answer before going inside and plopping down onto his bed. He expects Jeri to leave him, she probably has a million things to do around camp, but she doesn't. Instead she walks in and sits on the bed beside him.
“He really does care about you, you know?” She says after a moment. Pete doesn't bother hiding the snort she illicit. “I mean it. He cares about all his campers.”
“Well he has a funny way of showing it.” He lies back on the bed.
“Peter, he's just trying to look out for everyone.”
Pete sits back upright at her words, albeit with a bit of a struggle. “Look out for everyone? From the moment I came here, Jerry has been on a mission to humiliate me. How on Earth is that looking out for everyone?”
“Well you haven't made it easy on him, claiming that you're having the second coming of Christ.”
“Who says I'm not?” Pete retorts, unwilling to drop the charade for even a second.
“Peter-”
“And none of this would have ever come about if he hadn't tried to label me as a whore to the entire camp!” Pete says in frustration. “Do you know how humiliating that is?”
At his words Jeri goes still, staring at him with an expression that Pete can't read. Tears well in her eyes, and he's sure he's pushed it too far. It’s only for a moment though but then she schools her features. Then she blinks them away and speaks once more.
“I know his methods might seem strange but he just wants to keep everyone safe and on the path of the Lord.” Jeri answers, her voice strangely calm.
“And looking at a teen that you think made a mistake and making an example out of them is Godly?” He can't believe what she's saying. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Jesus all about forgiving sinners? That doesn't seem very forgiving to me.”
“He just wanted to show that there are real world consequences to having sex. There are benefits to being abstinent, religion aside. Aids, herpes, countless other STDs, not to mention teen pregnancy.” Pete bristles at the comment and Jeri is quick to back track. “I know you love your child, but Be honest with me. Would you have chosen to have them right before your senior year?”
“I did choose to have them right before my senior year.” Pete says, remembering the hours of talks with Steph over what they wanted to do, and then again. He knew the task he was taking on and he was doing it anyway. “I chose to carry God's child even though I'm still in high school.”
“Furthermore, he doesn't care about keeping people safe. He just wants to control them.” He stands up from the bed and starts pacing, anger rushing through his veins. “Boy Jerry, a supposed godly man, saw me and decided that I deserved to be humiliated. He tried to make me into the laughing stock of camp. And when I defended myself, he locked me in solitary for undermining his authority. I would probably still be locked up if not for Grace Chastity. There's a lot of men like that in the Bible, Girl Jeri, and I wouldn't use godly to describe any of them.”
Pete is left panting in the center of the cabin, his outburst having sapped most of his energy. Angrily, he looks to Jeri for a response, expecting her to justify the actions of her coworker. But she doesn't. She doesn't say anything. She simply stands up and walks over to Pete, placing her hand on his shoulder, and looks him dead in the eyes.
“Since we clearly can't come to an agreement, I'll leave. It's not worth stressing you or the baby.” Jeri says when she finally finally speaks. Then her gaze flits away from Pete to around the cabin, taking in its contents, before landing on the back corner of the room. “But I hope you realize how privileged you are. You get to be so brazen in your opinions because you've got a lot of support. Most people in your position aren't so lucky.” And for a moment Pete thinks she’s speaking from personal experience.
She looks back to Pete, nods, and turns for the door. But, just as she reaches the cabin's door, Jeri turns back to him once more. “I won't tell Boy Jerry about your meetings with the other campers. I think you're doing a good thing, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.”
Then without another word she's outside, probably headed to set up for the evening bonfire, leaving Pete alone in his cabin with only one question on his mind:
What the actual fuck was her deal?
-
He still doesn't have an answer for said question when Steph walks in not even 10 minutes later as promised she's carrying two care packages, balanced so precariously that Pete has to get the door for her so she doesn't fall.
“Jesus, I swear your brother packed an actual elephant in here or something.” She jokes once she's sat the packages on the bed with a dramatic sigh. “It weighs twice as much as whatever my dad sent me, lucky.”
Pete wants to joke back, and wants to say that it's fine because Solomon Lauter probably wouldn't know what was interesting to teens if it hit him in the head. But his brain is still stuck on his conversation with Girl Jeri, so he doesn't respond, only staring at the spot in the corner where the counselor had kept looking.
“If there's any candy in there you better share it with me.” Steph jokes as she sits down beside him, kissing his cheek as she does so. It's only then that she notices his demeanor, frowning as she squeezes his hand. “Hey, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Is it the baby? Should we call a doctor? It's too soon for you to go into labor yet right?”
She's starting to panic now, placing her hands on his cheeks as if to check for a fever. The motion is enough to startle Pete from his trance. “Sorry I spaced out there.”
Steph sighs in relief “Jesus Christ you scared me. I thought something was wrong with Bean.”
“Sorry.” Pete mumbles. He hadn't wanted to worry her. Not when she's so on edge already.
Steph raises an eyebrow and Pete can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. He's never been good at keeping secrets from her. Especially not since he realized he was pregnant. “You're a shitty liar, Spankoffski, you know that right? You were spaced out for like a solid 5 minutes. So spill. What's on your mind?”
“I don't want to worry you.” She's bound to freak out if she knows that he fought with Girl Jeri of all people. Everything is finally calming down now. The last thing he needs is to worry Steph.
“Well not knowing is worrying me.” She deadpans. “So talk or else I'll be forced to take drastic measures.”
He gasps in mock horror. “You wouldn't dare.”
“Oh I dare.” Steph grins. “Who would have thought the father of Christ would be so ticklish.”
Her hands reach ever so slowly towards him. “Talk, or else it's tickles for you.” She just reaches the hem of his shirt when he breaks.
“Okay okay, I give in.” Pete says, raising his hands in surrender.
“Good boy.” Steph says with a shit eating grin, and if those two words were enough to make Pete blush so heavily that his ears turned red, well that's a secret he'll take to his grave. “Now, spill, before the tickle monster comes back.”
“Okay. It's jus-” Pete takes a deep breath. Time to get it over with. Just rip it off like a bandaid. “Girl Jeri stopped by for a chat.”
“Girl Jeri?” Steph repeats incredulously. Yep, Pete can already hear the anger in her voice. “Shit, did she say something to you? I swear I'll-”
“It's fine.” He cuts her off. Better to finish his thoughts before she was too upset to hear him. “She asked me about our group talks every night and then we sorta argued about Boy Jerry.”
“She argued with you? That-”
“It's not like that. She just kept trying to say he just cares about everyone, which is a fucking lie.”
“Fuck, Pete.” Steph runs a hand through her hair. “What's her problem, arguing with a teenager when she's like what? 30? And waiting til you were alone to do it? I can't believe her.”
“It's fine. We kinda agreed to disagree in the end.”
“Agreed to disagree? Seriously? She picked a fight with you and she wants to agree to disagree?”
“Technically I think I picked the fight. I just kinda snapped.”
“Well she shouldn't have continued it. She's older, she's a counselor, not to mention you're pregnant and probably hormonal.”
“That's not even what's bothering me.” Pete sighs. “It's her whole… demeanor? I guess. One minute she's this ever chipper counselor and then she'll look at me and will almost cry. I don't get it.”
“Maybe she's just horrified to see a pregnant teen.” Steph jokes.
“Maybe.” Pete sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It's just… Boy Jerry is a total dick, but at least I know where I stand with him. I never know what I'm getting with her.”
“Hey,” Steph says, lifting his chin so he's looking her in the eye, “you've got enough to worry about without adding in the problems of a random camp counselor. Just focus on you okay?”
Pete nods. “Yeah, you're right. It's not worth it.”
“It's not.” Steph agrees. Then she adds. “But if you want me to deal with her for arguing with you I will.”
“It's fine Steph. I'm over the fight already. Everything is going good right now, let's not push it.”
She eventually nods but, judging by her white knuckled grin on her shorts, Pete can tell she's still pissed. “You're right. It's not worth jeopardizing the wedding.”
“It's not.” Pete smiles at that. The pair sit there for a moment, content to enjoy the silence and each other's company.
“Speaking of weddings,” Steph says after a minute or two. She leans over and pushes the long forgotten package towards him. “There should be a letter from Ted in here.”
“Right. Hopefully he took the news well.” Pete nods as he struggles to open the package. Stupid camp and their stupid lack of scissors. Honestly, how did they expect anyone to cut through packing tape without scissors? The least they could do is open the tape ahead of time. Then again, Pete didn't trust the Jerries not to snoop through the mail, so maybe it was a blessing that it was still shut.
“How did your Dad react?” He asks as he struggles to peel the tape.
Steph shrugs. “About as expected. ‘I'll support the marriage since having a baby out of wedlock won't be good press but this changes nothing: you are still my daughter and I still expect you to act in a manner benefiting the mayor's daughter. Do not let this damage my campaign.’” She says in a bad imitation of Solomon's voice.
Pete laughs as he finally tears the last piece of tape off. “Sounds like your dad alright.”
“Tell me about it. I swear I think he forgot that children have their own personalities when he adopted me.”
Pete doesn't respond, too busy opening his own care package to do. Inside is a variety of items: clothes, candy, and bottle of lotion, but Pete ignores all of it for the yellow CRRP branded envelope. He snorts. Just like Ted to steal stationery from work rather than buy it himself. Without hesitation, he opens the letter and reads it aloud.
Pete
Paul says I should write a list of what's in the care package for you. Personally, I think it's a dumb idea, you can clearly see what I sent but this gets him off my back. There's some bigger clothes for you, a couple of new maternity bras (don't blame me if they don't fit it was already awkward trying to buy bras for my LITTLE BROTHER), some chocolate bars, a couple of your comic books, and a bottle of vitamin E lotion (Emma says it'll help with stretch marks).
I'm glad you and the baby are both okay. I was ready to wring Jerry's stupid neck with his own cross when he said I wasn't allowed to call you. He's still as much of a chode as he was when we were teenagers, I see. If you ever want to give him hell, just ask why he never pursued his rap career further. Or don't. He'll probably make you kneel on rice or something.
I heard they placed you in one of solitary cabin for privacy. Just like your brother. I spent the whole summer you were born in that room. If you look hard enough you'll probably find some of my old porn.
I got the wedding invitation from Grace. Almost had a heart attack when I opened it. I'd say next time warn me before you get engaged, but I'm guessing you don't want there to be a next time. I'll let you off the hook though since you technically tried to warn me. I bet Jerry almost had a stroke when he realized you getting married would mean you two could share a cabin. Would have fucking loved to see that.
Everyone back home misses you. Ruth and Max stop by all the time. Hell even Emma misses you. Apparently I've become her new least favorite customer now that you're gone so thanks for that. Think I'm getting extra spit in my chai now, not that I'm complaining.
Can't wait to see you for parents weekend. You better let me walk you down the aisle you little shit. And if you want to leave early just demand to call home. I'll come pick you up.
See you soon
Ted
PS Warning: Grandma Lorie is coming to the wedding. No, I couldn't stop her. Be prepared.
-
A/N: Next time, on Hail Petey, Full of Grace... will Ted punch Boy Jerry in the mouth, what is going on with Girl Jeri, and who is Grandma Lorie? Tune in next chapter to find out!
Seriously though, I hope you enjoyed this! I had way too much fun writing this chapter. Special shout out to my coauthors Pizza and Spoons for keeping me sane when I realized I hated the original draft and scrapped it. And shoutout to loveluck's hatchetfield server, without it this au wouldn't exist.
Arcane modern/horror fic. Vi and Jinx end up at a youth correctional ranch alongside new and old faces to avoid juvie. Turns out they probably just should have taken that community service. There is something hiding in the stalks - it’s vicious and it’s getting impatient.
Having been a camp counselor I can confirm, we were all fucking. I mean not me specifically because I was a nerd. Also partly because I’m black, but this is not about the rude awakening to color prejudice I received in my early twenties when visiting small towns in the middle of nowhere USA. This is about how when you stick a bunch of youths in their late teens/early twenties out in the middle of the wilderness, they’re going to fuck. Purely for the entertainment. When I tell you that in a single rotation of campers (ours was two weeks) there would have been a will they wont they romance - that all the campers were inappropriately invested in - followed by a get together, a messy breakup, and a it was you standing beside me all along come to Jesus moment just in time for the parents to witness on pickup day, I kid you not. We were our own cable.
That being said The Strangers Things crew as Camp counselors. Whose banging who in the club house during campfire? Whose kids are late to everything and always losing track of their things? Whose cabins are in a cabin war that has gotten way out of hand because the Counselors have beef and are acting like overgrown kids? Which counselor pulled the short straw and has to put together the showcase for the parents? Whose got the bad kids who are always trying to sneak out and ask their counselor to sneak them beer? Which counselor actually does it? Whose the counselor whose always trying to preach about what a messed up guy he was before he hit rock bottom and found Jesus even though he’s like 19? 😂
‘Well we got no choice. All the girls and boys. Makin' all that noise. 'Cause they found new toys. Well we can't salute ya can't find a flag. If that don't suit ya that's a drag. School's out for summer. School's out forever. School's been blown to pieces’
Billy’s radio rattled with the song that Steve now recognized by heart as ‘School’s out, by Alice Cooper’.
“Robin, I’m going to kill him. I swear to Christ, if you don't control your friend I’m going to throw him in the lake.” Steve groaned as he rolled over in his bed, pulling his pillow out from under his head and putting over his ears.
“He’s not my friend before dawn, Stevie.” Robin muttered as she flopped over in her bed and mirrored Steve with her own pillow.
“Wait, Billy’s from California.” Robin said she'd pulled her head out from under the pillow and looked up at Steve’s bunk.
“So?” Steve yelled from under his pillow.
‘No more pencils no more books. No more teacher's dirty looks yeah. Well we got no class. And we got no principals. And we got no innocence. We can't even think of a word that rhymes. School's out for summer. School's out forever. My school's been blown to pieces’
“Do you remember when Tommy and Carol pushed Argyle into the lake? He had been fully dressed for, like, mountain climbing or hiking the rocky mountains.”
Steve poked his head out from under the pillow and groaned. “Robin, you know my brain doesn't work till at least 7:30am.”
Robin sighed, heavy and loud. “Argyle swam laps, in boots. Jonathan said that they practice holding their breath and walking under water by swimming with rocks in their pockets. Apparently they also use vests with weights in the pockets.”
“So?” Steve yelled over the music, clearly not seeing the correlation.
“God, your brain really isn't running this early.” Robin rolled her eyes. “They're both from California.”
“Wait, I thought they were just best friends.”
“Oh, my God. How did you think they knew each other?”
“I don't know, Robin! I thought that they just, like,” He flailed his arms around. “I don't know! Everyone likes Argyle!”
‘No more pencils no more books. No more teacher's dirty looks. Out for summer. Out till fall. We might not come back at all. School's out forever. School's out for summer. School's out with fever. School's out completely’
“Robin!” Steve all but whined. “Go tell him to turn it down!”
“Steve, I don't talk to him before daylight. You're lucky I talk to you before daylight. If you want him to shut up, then you go tell him to shut up.” Robin rolled over onto her side and put her pillow back over her head.
Steve tried to ignore the music. He tried desperately to will himself back to sleep, but Billy’s voice boomed through the wall as he sang along with the last few lines of the song.
“Okay, where’s the rope?! I’ll tie his arms, you get his legs and we’ll throw him in the lake together.”
“Oh my God, Steve! I’m going to throw you in the lake if you don't shut up. I can sleep through the music just fine.” Robin yelled at him.
“Fine!” Steve huffed as he tossed the blanket off his body.
Climbing down from the top bunk Steve muttered and mumbled. Robin had gotten used to Billy’s morning routine by day three, but then again Steve knew she could sleep through just about anything. Lawn mowers, chain saws, fire works, partys, hell he was pretty sure she could sleep through a murder.
Steve stormed out of his cabin room, the screen door slammed shut behind him and the song ended. Steve marched over to Billy’s door as the next song roared to life.
‘We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teacher, leave them kids alone. Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone’
Steve couldn't name this one, it had just been added to Billy’s line up a few days ago. Banging on the door Steve was starting to lose the sleepy feeling, it was almost too late to even try to go back to sleep.
“It's called Another Brick In The Wall, part 2. By Pink Floyed.” Billy flashed his best melt your heart smile, wide and warm as the summer sun as he opened the door. “Anything else, pretty boy?”
‘All in all it's just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall’
Steve’s brain hadn't started working just yet causing the too sugar sweet smile to stall him in his tracks. Confused and disorientated Steve stuttered, trying to remember the words that had been so ready on his tongue just moments ago. Billy was staring at him with an intense gaze, he was shirtless, clad in a pair of dark purple swim shorts that hugged him a little too well, and a pair of old faded chucks that used to be black but now looked more gray than anything.
“I-I” Steve shook his head looking away from Billy’s face. “I…”
“You?” Billy asked, taking a step closer to Steve.
“Too early.” Steve yawned, covering his mouth and turning away from Billy.
“Okay, so why you here, princess?” Billy asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
‘We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control. No dark sarcasm in the classroom. Teachers, leave them kids alone. Hey, teachers, leave those kids alone’
“Have mercy, it's not even daylight Hargrove.” Steve said with a heavy sigh, his eyes half closed.
“Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” Billy snickered.
Steve’s face flattened out, he glared back at Billy feeling the snap of irritability from lack of sleep. “Just turn the goddamn radio down, some of us are trying to sleep.”
Billy shifted from the sugar sweet smile to more his usual anger set face, Steve straightened up as Billy puffed up to him. Standing chest to chest Steve felt under dressed, bare footed, gray sweatpants, and a muscle shirt that was cut low from under the arms down just past his ribs.
‘All in all you're just another brick in the wall. All in all you're just another brick in the wall’
“I liked it better when you begged.” Billy growled up at Steve, his breath hot and minty fresh against Steve’s face.
Steve was about to open his mouth, angry and done with Billy’s bullshit when a hand appeared on Billy’s shoulder and pulled him away.
“Alright, alright big boy we get it you're a big strong man.” Eddie pulled Billy back into their shared cabin and smiled at Steve. “Let's turn the tunes down and give the king a few more hours of beauty rest. What do ya say?”
‘Wrong, do it again. If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat? You! Yes, you behind the bikesheds, stand still laddy’
Eddie slid his arm around Hargrove’s left shoulder, his chin resting on Billy’s right as Eddie smiled wide and bright up at him. Steve was taken aback by the whole situation, he’d never seen anyone beside Argyle brave enough to even attempt to defuse an angry Billy Hargrove.
Billy took a sharp inhale. “What have I told you about calling me ‘Big boy’?”
“Do it as often as I can.” Eddie laughed then pulled away, he walked between Steve and Billy.
“Munson,” Billy growled.
Eddie patted Steve’s back by his ribs, he gently pushed Steve back toward his own cabin. “Off you go, handsome. Go get your sleep. We’ll keep it down over here.”
Another song clicked on and Steve faintly remembered it from the line up Billy had played last week. If he had to guess he would have said another Alice Cooper song, ‘Be Cruel To Your School’ maybe or something close to that.
‘Be cruel to your school 'cause you may never get another. Be cruel to your school in the name of rock 'n' roll. Be cruel to your school just like a sister or a brother. Be cruel to your school in the name of rock 'n' roll’
Steve looked back at Billy who didn't look at all like Steve had expected him to. Billy had a little smirk pulling up at the corner of his left lip, his eyes watched Steve like a predator watched a bleeding animal. Steve let Eddie send him on his way.
As he crawled back into bed Steve questioned everything he’d ever known about Eddie. It was the first year Steve had ever been to the camp, but he’d heard about it plenty from Dustin. Eddie attended every year, he went from a kid in the camp to a counselor and he went to the same high school as Steve; but Steve had never paid attention to the metal head.
Now Steve wished he would have met him sooner. Maybe if he knew whatever beast soothing magic Eddie had he wouldn't have been beaten into the ground last Halloween. Once Steve settled into his bunk he turned to face the wall he shared with Eddie and Billy, he smiled at the peaceful sound of silence.
“Thank you Eddie Munson.”
Two hours later and the playlist started up where it had stopped. It was louder than before, Steve would have sworn that Billy moved the radio closer to the shared wall just to spite him.
