CHERRY WAVES.2 - J.JK
teenage dirtbag!jk x popular girl!reader
in which… you try to apologise to jungkook but forgiveness is difficult for him.
𝟏, 𝟑, 𝟒, 𝟓
a/n: finally part two!! part three will be written and out soon I swear guys. also who has tips for writing because I spent an embarrassing amount of hours and I type so quickly.. took me like 4 hours to write this ugh. also, the double dashes are there bcs my laptop for some reason doesn’t want to put a “—“ so I’m leaving it as they are. icba. not proof read yet, I’ll do it later!! anyways, please enjoy!!
tags: @lasant0ss , @smoljimjim , @kooloveys , @ihatemen67
banner made by yours truly, jkin3d
w.c: 3.5k
You didn't even think you deserved the chance to apologise to Jungkook. As you paced on Jungkook's porch, your thoughts ran a million miles a minute. Your sneakers thumped with every step, praying to whoever was listening that Jungkook didn't hate your guts and want you dead.
"Honey, are you okay? You've been pacing for at least five minutes"
When you heard his mom's voice, you paused your steps, almost tripping yourself up as you looked at her. You'd clearly just come from cheer practice, uniform still on though half covered by your thin jacket. For a moment, you debated running home.
"Uhm.. I--," you internally cursed for not being able to get your words together, a frown pushing your brows together. "Is Jungkook home?"
His mom shifted on her feet, leaning against the doorframe. She'd watched her son storm in through the house, throwing his bag down and making his way up the stairs. The loud slam of his door told her all she needed to know. Jungkook was rarely in such a mood that he'd slam his door without even looking at his mom and you were the only thing that was new in his life. She wasn't slow to figure out it had something to do with you.
"Sorry, sweetheart, he went out with his friends a few hours ago, didn't mention when he'd be home"
She knew he was sitting in his bedroom, likely scribbling lyrics into his notebook, music abusing his eardrums. Yet, the only thing her son had said to her was "If she shows up, I'm not home." before shutting himself away.
Your face dropped enough for his mom to consider letting you in but she knew she made a promise to Jungkook, choosing to do her best to stay out of it. But she was a mother. She couldn't let you stand there looking heartbroken, even if Jungkook shared that frustration.
"...come in, please," she nudged the front door open, waiting for you to walk in. "I figured something happened with you two"
"Oh no I shouldn't-"
"Honey, get in here"
It was difficult to say no to Jungkook's mom, for anything. So, you followed her inside. Despite the many times you'd been here, it all felt foreign now. You try not to focus on it, fingers tugging nervously at the hem of your sleeve. As you set your bag down, sitting on the stool by the kitchen island, his mom turned her back to you to make coffee.
"So what happened?"
Admitting guilt might get you kicked out of Jungkook's life. Denying it would be useless, you can't lie to a mom.
"I messed up, really really bad... I said things to Jungkook that I never wanted to say and I hate that they came out of my mouth and I know I have no right to be here or to feel bad about it but-- I just want to apologise to him."
His mom listened intently, eyes never leaving the coffee pot as you spoke. It was clear as day, the guilt laced in your words and the way you couldn't seem to sit still. Honestly, she wasn't sure what to say. She knew about your reputation of being little miss perfect, yet she'd never seen you as that. Any time she'd seen you, you'd been sweet and relaxed with her, clearly ignoring your father's orders to stick to your own social circle. The words kept spilling past your lips before she had a chance to question you, the same way they'd spilt and drowned Jungkook in humiliation.
"On Friday, it was after school and I was by my locker with my friends and we were waiting for other people so we could go to the mall. The hallway was crowded because everyone was rushing to leave, so I didn't see Jungkook until he was stood in front of me with my favourite flowers in his hand.."
The memory replayed in your brain, inflating the frustration you had towards yourself for being so selfish that day.
"He told me how he felt about me and I basically laughed in his face and said I could never be with him. 'Someone like' him."
It was silent for a moment, yet you couldn't bring yourself to look up at his mom, feeling like you'd thrown yourself into the grave you dug. God, if you weren't so stupid then, maybe you wouldn't be in this mess.
"Jungkook doesn't do things halfway, you know? He had confidence in you to not let him down when he gave you those flowers"
"I know"
"And he really likes you"
"I know."
"And you humiliated him in front of a lot of people"
"I know."
You cursed under your breath, staring at the cool marble against your palms. Your skin was burning and suddenly everything felt like it was too much.
"Everyone was staring at me and my dad would kill me if he found out I was ever talking to Jungkook, let alone if I wanted to date him. He just-- he cares so much about my reputation and in the moment I panicked and made the wrong choice. I regret the fact that I said it and it's not how I feel about Jungkook at all but.. I know I probably messed it up and he most likely hates me for it."
Yeah, you'd screwed yourself over. Now you'd be forced to live in a picture perfect frame for the rest of your miserable days while Jungkook would find a girl who was perfect for him.
"Listen to me, honey. Jungkook isn't some boy who'd move on after one rejection. Especially not you. He might want distance and feel bitter towards you for dragging his name deeper into the dirt it's already in, but he cares too much about you to just let it all go. So, what do you want? You're not a child, you need to decide what's more important to you."
If Jungkook showed any sign of even thinking about considering talking to you, you'd be the luckiest girl in the world. You weren't exactly about to start praying to your guardian angels for help, but you'd do anything to get a chance to fix what you'd royally screwed up.
"I want Jungkook. I want to be free to be with him without people looking at me funny."
"Then you need to tell him that." She sighed deeply, gaze flicking to the stairs that led up to his bedroom.
"But Jungkook is a very.. proud boy, sometimes. He sure as hell won't make it easy for you to get past the wall he's likely already built around his heart. You do understand that right?"
You nod, mentally preparing yourself to face Jungkook, even if it was through his bedroom door. As you followed behind, trying desperately to calm your nerves, you noticed his mom slow to knock on his door, waiting a minute before it opened, revealing Jungkook in all his glory. His dark hair was tousled, his eyes were slightly red (from crying or smoking neither of you could tell) and the look of numbness drooped into a hard frown.
"Jungkook, I know you don't want to see me but just give me two minutes and if you still hate me I'll leave you alone." Your fingers tore into the lose strings of your sweater hanging out under your jacket, eyes pleading with Jungkook's.
"please"
Jungkook's expression hardened at your words, the familiar anger bubbling up inside him all over again. He had spent all day trying to get over you, convincing himself that you were just another stuck up princess in a pretty dress. Yet here you stood, guilt dripping off of you.
His jaw clenched briefly as he looked at you. Honestly, he wanted to slam the door shut in your face, ignore you and make you feel how he felt when you humiliated him. Unfortunately for his selfishness, he decided against it and sighed heavily, staring you down.
"Two minutes."
You inhaled sharply, overwhelmed by the relief you felt that he was giving you a chance. You had to tell him how you felt and how badly you needed him in your life, all in the space of two minutes. Fitting enough, the universe just seemed to be laughing at you as the rain beat down on the windows.
"I know I hurt you and I know I don't have any right to be here asking you to forgive me or feel bad for me but I fucked up. I panicked when you gave me those flowers and I made the shittiest decision and I ruined your reputation even more than it already is just to save my own because my dad would kill me if I messed up. You know I didn't mean what I said and I really, really like you, Jungkook. I know I was a completely selfish bitch and I fucked it all up but I just need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Jungkook. If you still hate my guts I'll leave you alone, and I won't bother you again, I swear."
Every word that you poured out of your heart made Jungkook's pulse spike, hitting him like a blow to the gut. Even though he didn't show it, his heart ached for you. He'd noticed the tears in your eyes before you'd seemed to notice, internally cursing at how weak it made him. He hated seeing you cry, but he was stubborn, and you'd hurt him too.
"You're crying, yet I don't think you're the one with something to cry about. You expect me to forgive you just like that? After what you said?"
"I know I look pathetic and I don't expect anything from you--... I'll just... I'll go."
He watched you fidget nervously as you picked your backpack up, hands tight around the straps. A small part of him wanted to tell you to stay, to forgive you and wrap you in his arms until everything was all okay.
But Jungkook was tough.
His cold eyes trailed over your tear-stained cheeks, your trembling lip, and the way you clutched your bag as if it was a lifeline. He had never seen you so vunerable and for a moment, his fierce anger wavered. Then he remembered the way you'd looked at him, like he meant nothing to you and as if he'd always been worthless.
"Yeah, you should go." he said, arms crossing tightly over his chest, watching you resign and nod. If you weren't crying, Jungkook would've felt a lot better about standing his ground. Just to put the cherry on top, his mother was looking at him like he'd kicked a puppy. Well, he may as well have, if you were a puppy.
"Are you really just going to let the poor girl walk away in the rain?"
"She's not poor, mom. She has all the money in the world, what does she need me for, huh? It's her own fauly, she's the one who messed up and she can deal with it."
His mom sighed, shaking her head at her son's harsh attitude. She knew he was difficult sometimes, but being this cold was unreasonable. Sure, she didn't know the specifics of what happened that day but she knew that she'd raised her son to be better than this.
"I know you're angry and hurt, but she's out there alone crying her heart out. Don't be like your father, okay? Swallow your pride, I know you like her, a lot. Don't give up on her because she messed up."
Jungkook's jaw clenched harder as he listened to his mother's words. He hated his dad and hated the idea of being anything like him even more. Naturally, he wanted to argue, to say that you deserved every bit of pain that you were feeling and more, but the image of you sobbing in the rain kept bugging him.
"Why should I care? Like I said, she messed up, not me. I'm just dirt to her."
"Jeon Jungkook. Listen to me. It takes a lot for someone to admit their mistakes and apologise so sincerely. You understand that if she were to rebel against her parents, it wouldn't be easy for her, nor would she have much after likely being abandoned by her friends." She sighed, stepping closer to Jungkook to cup his face, looking at him firmly.
"That girl is willing to throw it all to hell for you, because she cares about you. Don't think I haven't seen the way you look at her when she laughs, or the way she always leans closer to you because she likes you. You are my son, I raised you to be compassionate and understanding. If you don't go down there and talk to her properly, I will disown you."
Although Jungkook knew she wouldn't actually disown him, he knew he was being an asshole. He knew how hard it was for you to go against your parents, constantly being pressured to be perfect. Why was he acting like he had any right to dismiss that?
It took a lot of his pride to follow you, shoving the front door back open as he had his hoodie loosely draped on, hardly shading him from the rain. God, you looked pitiful. Clothes sticking to you like a second skin, sneakers drowning as you walked through the puddles forming, hair ruined.
"I'll drive you home."
You barely heard him, lost in your own tears before you turned around, genuinely surprised that he was out here, offering to drive you home. Hadn't he just sent you away?
"No, it's fine-- I should walk home"
Jungkook scoffed, rolling his eyes as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his car keys and unlocking his car, waiting for you to walk over so that he wouldn't soak the interior. "Get in, I said I'll drive you."
"Jungkook, I'm soaked.. I'll just ruin your car. I'll walk."
His eyes narrowed, patience clearly thinning as he closed the distance between you, ignoring the rain that seeped into his clothes and drenched his hair, mirroring you.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" he snapped, "You live a twenty minute drive away, which is double to walk it. You're already soaked. What kind of stubborn-"
He cut himself off with an irritated sigh before yanking open the passenger door and gesturing sharply at it. "Just get in."
You blink at him a few times, confused by his insistance to drive you home despite seeming like he hates you. It takes you a second to move, trying to get as much rain off of you as possible so that you don't ruin the leather seats of his car.
Jungkook mumbled something under his breath as you finally gave in and got into the passenger seat, his annoyance clear in every movement he made.
He slammed the door shut behind you, the sound almost drowned out by the rain drumming on the sleek roof of the car. Jungkook quickly made his way over to the driver's side and climbed in, shutting the door a little less forcefully this time. It was uncomfortably silent as he started the car, the engine purring to life before Jungkook turned the heater up to the max, aware of your shivers beside him.
"Jungkook, I really am sorry"
Your voice was small, mirroring how you felt as your head hung low in shame, eyes locked onto the wet material of your cheer skirt. It was a challenge to even be in his car, let alone to look his way and risk pissing him off even more.
Jungkook shot you a sidelong glance from the corner of his eye, jaw still set in a hard line. But there was something in his gaze that softened when he heard your hesitant apology. He didn't respond immediately as he drove, the only sounds in the car being the soft hum of the heater and the rain pelting the windshield.
After a few moments of tense silence, Jungkook chose to respond, voice low. "You'll catch pneumonia if you stay in those clothes too long. Change when you get inside."
It wasn't like you expected him to roll over and act like nothing happened, laughing and talking with you like he had before. That didn't stop it from stinging a little when he ignored your apology, yet again. You knew this would be the most likely outcome, yet it still hurt that you knew you wouldn't get him back.
Jungkook's grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly as he noticed your quiet response, the way you shifted uncomfortably in his passenger's seat. He exhaled though his nose, almost sighing, before muttering under his breath, "...you really like me?"
"Yes, Jungkook. I really, really, really like you."
"So-.." his voice wasn't angry anymore, just tired. "why'd you have to go and say that shit in front of half the school?"
You frowned, a soft wince creasing your features as you remembered the unwelcome memory. 'You're you, I can't go out with someone like you'. Yeah, nice going, asshole.
"There were a fuck ton of people watching, Jungkook. I panicked and made the wrong choice. I knew if I even hesitated or said yes, people would talk and my dad would find out and I'd be abandoned by my parents. My dad hates you. I don't know what to do, but I know I want to fix this with us."
Jungkook kept his eyes on the road, trying to keep his nerves in check. He knew how your father felt about him. Once, he'd seen Jungkook outside school, smoking with his friends. It wasn't exactly a good impression for a father. But Jungkook was so much more than what your dad thought of him. Truthfully, he was almost a complete opposite of what your dad thought.
"So what, you're just gonna sacrifice everything just to keep daddy happy?"
"No, but--," you huffed, shifting uncomfortably in the seat as your skirt stuck to your thighs. "I just didn't want you to hear shit from more people who don't even know you."
The fact that you thought you could protect him from the way people think of him by rejecting him stung Jungkook a little too much. It wasn't like he was new to any of it, so why did you think to make it worse?
"So instead, you make it worse for me and hurt me. Great logic."
At this point, you'd started to accept that Jungkook wasn't going to forgive you. At least not in the time period of this car ride.
The rest of the journey was made in a tense silence, filled with unspoken words and unacknowledged feelings. Finally, he parked a street down from your house, knowing well enough not to park right outside your front door. Jungkook pulled up onto the curb and put the car in park, shutting the engine off as he stared ahead, a soft sigh leaving his lips.
"You'll catch a cold, go inside and change."
That was either his way of saying he still cared but wasn't ready to move on from what you did, or his way of saying leave him alone and that he was done. You didn't linger on it, choosing to nod, a small 'thanks' being all you could manage as you rush out of the car, holding your hands over your head as you walked to your street. God, it was going to take a lot to fix things with Jungkook.
He sat in his car, watching as you walked away, suddenly aware of how heavy his heart felt. He scoffed, trying to push away the overwhelming feelings that threatened to drown him, the same way the rain filled every dip of the street. He wanted so badly to run after you and kiss you senseless, to feel what it would mean to be yours without judgement. To hold your hand in the street and be proud, not needing to worry about ruining your life just by being himself.
Jungkook's fingers wrapped around the material of his hoodie, blinking back tears as he stared out of the window, hand coming up to rest his chin on. He didn't want to feel this way, he hated it. He felt weak.
Yet there you were, breaking his heart and reducing him to an opinion of strangers. One tear turned to two, to five, to ten and to a sob that caught in his throat. His damp hair dripped onto the steering wheel as he leaned forwards, gripping the edge of the wheel to ground himself. His stomach turned and his head hurt, and he didn't want to push you away. He knew he was being an asshole. One minute he was forcing you out of his life, the next minute he was sobbing in his car at the thought of losing you. The life he could picture with you. It was so far from any dream he'd ever had for himself, it seemed to be heaven. You were heaven, his safety. What kind of idiot deliberately forces their one person out of their life? God, sobbing in his car was a new ache, wasn't it?
