#asexual issues

[piratedog64]

"you sure do make a lot of jokes about sex for an ace person-" that's because sex is a joke to me

[melovibes57]

😒 Death to this statement. PLEASE & THANK YOU

[proship-shuujuu]

sometimes asexuality will strike you at the weirdest of times. i am a very sex and kink positive person, so i sometimes tend to forget that i'm asexual, or, truthfully, that sex even exists in real life.

reading and writing smut? great, love it!

looking at nsfw art of The Characters? awesome, give me more!

watching bridgerton or heated rivalry or any other live-action show that features a lot of sex? i am so viscerally uncomfortable that i'm going to tear my eyes out and flush them down the toilet.

[hexxxcapades]

why is it that people treat aromanticism as a concrete and inflexible identity when they understand asexuality is a fluid/spectrum identity?

if you can wrap your head around asexuals who have sex without having sexual attraction, why can't you wrap your head around aromantics who have relationships without romantic attraction? you might say "well there's a microlabel for that! like aroflux or cupioromantic!" which is all well and fine....except those microlabels still fall under the aromantic spectrum. THEY ARE STILL AROMANTIC.

it seems to me that the same reason why people don't seem to view aromanticism as a fluid identity is the reason why people don't view asexuality as anything BUT a fluid identity, never acknowledging the asexuals who are sex-averse or repulsed in favor of always talking about those who DO have or like sex.

It's because even when talking about aroaces, you still can't help but center alloamatonormativity. you can't or won't recognize the nuances of aroace identities because you only care about the identities that can still somehow fit into your alloamatonormative world, and even just the word "aromantic" seems antithetical to that.

[theenbyroiderer]

Can I talk about aphobia for a bit? Because I wanna. Because it's not included in IDAHOBIT, and frankly I think it needs to be talked about more.

Aphobia exists as an insidious but ignored undercurrent. It often takes less visible forms than homo-, bi- and transphobia. Less overt. You seldom hear about people beaten up in the street because they are aro or ace. Instead the violence tends to happen behind locked doors and come from intimate partners.

You don't hear much about aro and ace people at all to be honest. Because of erasure. When someone does open up about being asexual, the reactions are usually full of ridicule and invalidation. But the majority of people don't even know what asexual or aromantic means. Sex ed classes don't mention the possibility of people being ace or aro. Aspec people grow up thinking that something is wrong with them because they have never heard that you can lack attraction.

And if they seek out a professional and ask if something is wrong with them, they are likely to be told that there is. Because even medical professionals don't know what asexuality and aromanticism are about and often see a lack of attraction as a symptom. An aspec person is also more likely than most to fall victim to conversion therapy.

The worst thing isn't pathologization/medicalization though. Not in my opinion at least. I think the worst is when ace and aro people are viewed as less human. Romantic love and sexual attraction are often seen as universal human experiences. Aspec people are compared to robots, aliens, animals... And that's a very slippery slope. That's the sort of thinking that leads people to ascribe less value to an aro or ace person's life. The sort of thinking that might make an aspec person ascribe less value to their own life.

And then, when we turn to other marginalized sexualities, hoping for understanding and solidarity, we all too often hear that we are not welcome, that we face no real oppression or discrimination.

[shrimp-lord-of-hell]

"Never say never. My sister said never and then ended up with four kids."

I'm saying never. Was your sister intensely sex-repulsed? Because I am. Does she feel romantic attraction? Because I don't. One person's experiences are not anothers', stop acting like they're the same.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting a partner, a spouse, or kids. Stop acting like everyone needs those things to live a fulfilled life. It's just not true of every person.

[repulsed-confessions]

I hate hate hate hate how many people view the ace community as "coaches not players" and "freaky people who don't fuck (or maybe they do because aces can have sex too!!!!1!!!1!!!!) but write the filthiest smut".

I hate how I tell people I'm asexual and their reaction is "oh so you're just freaky but you don't act on it".

I'm asexual. I lack a sexuality. I lack desire, drive, libido, and attraction, although I acknowledge that only lack of attraction is necessary for asexuality. I do not want anything to do with sex, fictional or otherwise. I'm not a fucking "coach", I am not a sexual creature.

I hate how asexuality has become sexualized.

.

[moonprismpower456]

Some people will really say “Sex is fundamental part of the human experience and humans can’t live without it because humans were built to have sex with each other….besides ace folks tho! :D” and think they’re a good ace ally