#codependent af

[normal-behavior]

Total coincidence his feelings about texting vs calling have changed since a certain blond entered his life. Not related at all. Nothing to see here, folks.

[quisters]

This whole song is so Arthur and John coded it’s ridiculous

But in the end, I won't еscape from the sight of you

Half of me is half of you now

I'll have to cut myself in two

[blindmagdalena]

I just like to think that if Homelander ever has a rough day,where everything just was too rough,the work too jarring,the world too big,you help make it smaller for him,you hug him,engulf him even into your embrace and stroke his hair and turn off all the lights and noise and boot everyone out and he just gets to focus on your heartbeat and breaths,to nuzzle into and hide himself in your arms where for no logical reason he feels the safest and so warm and small and oh he adores you,he adores you

On the flip side you are probably the best and only sanctuary John has,in the cradle of your arms and steadiness of your heart he find his peace and happiness but if it was for you?He'll probably see,just how rigid you stand,as if your bones grind and hurt,how you shut your eyes and cover your ears and make yourself smaller and then whatever the fuck he was doing gets left and he is taking you covering your eyes with his palm and asks you do you want him to just hold you or fly you somewhere?

now this is exactly my weakness.

a relationship where they are both shelter from the other's storm. you're both walking disasters, but when the mess becomes too much, the other is there to pick up the pieces.

I'm WOUNDED by the mental image of him coming to stand behind you, one hand over your eyes, the other taking your hand in his, whispering in your ear, asking you what you need from him. if you squeeze his hand, he knows to take you from this place. if you start taking deep breaths, he knows you just need a minute. you need him to hold you. likewise, you've learned his tells. when his smile gets too broad and becomes more grimace than joy, when he's gritting his teeth against the endless chatter and flashing lights. it doesn't matter that you don't have his strength, or his flight. you have the power to transport him just by taking his face in your hands, and focusing his eyes on yours. you can protect him just as he protects you.

[supernaturalkickparty]

I have like this image in my head of teen Sam and Dean just listening and vibing to Creep by Stone Temple Pilots and it's hitting them both hard lyrically. Idk I'm just being a weirdo I guess.

[legalizesupercorp]

*Supercorp sitting on the couch*

Lena: *stands up*

Kara: *stands up too*

Lena: Kara, I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

Kara: I would prefer if we went together.

[5-minutes-at-a-time]

I guess I should call them what they are

. . . . . . . . . . . I had a fight with my mom this afternoon, which then turned into my calmly apologizing for being a codependent foop to her, again, which she could not under-fucking-stand. "But sharing our feelings so we can do better is good!" Except we're not normal, so no, for me, it's pointless. It's like she was begging; any contact, even angry kind, is better than none. She repeated this several times. Even after maybe the most soul-baring, calm explanation of how CODA has benefitted me, all she had were rebuttles. Omfg. I'm so tired of having to repeat myself to people who don't WANT TO GET IT. Don't want to change. My mom especially. "I'm trying really hard not to step on your toes," she begged and she was crying, which made me feel like shit. I finally put a ten minute limit on our conversation. "We could do this all day; I explain and you counter it, and neither of us wants to do that all day." Which, guess what, MAKES ME FEEL WRONG. Guess who feels constantly wrong all the time? ACOAs. Guess who's an ACOA? ✋🏻 So is she REALLY an entirely clueless victim of her parents and this marriage and life in general, is she really THAT STUPID, or is she just REALLY GOOD AT THE MANIPULATION /NARCISSIST GAME? I want to fucking know. Either I let her back in my life more, like we were even two years ago, and claw my hair off trying to keep sanity...or I check the hell out entirely. Even though I got to the point, even in the fight/discussion, to confess that I was being codep and throwing my emotions at her and demanding apologies where it was inappropriate for me to do so, I'm sad. I'm so sad and mad and I all but said to her face that "this" is hopeless. Drowning myself in Netflix isn't helping. Neither is the fact that later tonight I'm meeting a girl I am so codependent on it's not even funny.

[anotherreiteration]

Didn’t Jensen use to style him and Jared or did he have help? I miss j2 coordinating outfits. Jensen is just out here trying to figure who he is outside of jared.

Been a rough couple of years, eh my guy?

It has.

No judgements. Well, little judgements.

[5-minutes-at-a-time]

Damn it

I hate that I think people can fulfill my every need and make me happy. I hate that I try to fix people. I hate that my fixaholic nature ruins relationships. But I hate that people I care about are in pain. Sometimes, pain that can actually be avoided if they just fucking let me be the codependent little shit I am... (That was rare sarcasm right there.) I'm sure I'll be fine when I sleep it off, and maybe hit up a cord cutting meditation before bed. God knows I need it tonight.