i wanted to share what cotard's syndrome is like for me, how it feels and effects me day-to-day, so i thought adding such in it's own chapter would be the best way to do so.
for me, i believe i am either already dead or dying, depending on the day. some days i believe im dead, that mu body is a corpse and my stiff joints and back, the arthritis in my joints and limbs, etc, are the result of rigor mortis setting in, my limbs starting to part from my lifeless body. i often feel as though none of my organs work, the magority of them already decayed and gone or rotting.
other days i feel like im slowly dying, dificulty walking or functons and mobility in general is due to my body shuttng down for the last moments of breath. my pulse speading up or slowing down could either assure me im still alive a while longer or further the idea im not real or about to die. sometimes feeling my pulse could trigger thoughts like "living things have a pulse, but m not living and i have one, so im clearly not a normal human".
i'll believe my body is only still managing to function or move or do anything at all because dead or not...
continue reading this chapter in my new book, understanding cotard's.
a book to help people learn about cotard's syndrome and for voices of those with it to be heard. recsources, articles, posts, personal expir
He was worthless as he was, despite knowing in his heart that he was meant for so much more. Anything would be better, better than the drudgery and the condescension—the scrutiny within his own mind of what are you doing; where are you going; what is the point; there is nothing for you, a mouse among men, doomed to be stepped upon without Talent to match.
With a sense of resigned finality, Hajime picked up the pen and signed the contract for the Kamukura Project.
you've arrived at @kitschyfemme's oc blog! stay as long as you like!
here is my toyhouse and there is description of each ocverse under the cut 🪁
MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: this ones the og babyyy + is currently in the process of being revamped. imagine if a 50s sitcom was the town you lived in and all your neighbors are watching you on tv all the time and you can't trust anyone. and you're transgender
COTARDVERSE: identical twins cotard + capgras deal with the trauma of their dad's gruesome death in completely opposite ways. featuring internet friendship substance abuse and unethical internet usage
TALKING HEADS: i dont have a better name for this one. office job in which everyone is based on a talking heads (+adjacent) song. considerably less kms than the others on this list!
RAINFOREST FLOODS: you know what why don't you just go here
and thats it. oooo you want to talk to me about them and ask me questions so badddd oooooooo
cotard (my self insert) teaching alastor to use a phone... he's so patient with alastor and teaches him how to use different social medias... alastor's first photo on his phone is a selfie with cotard 🫶🫶🫶