When does it end? Is there ever an end to processing trauma? I've been actively trying to process my own trauma since I was 12. I'm now 23.
3 years ago I would have said I'm almost at the finish line and I know what I went through and that it was bad.
And that's just it. I knew it was bad. That's it. I knew the outline.
Now I feel like I had only really understood a drop of what we felt and survived.
Idk.. it sucks. I hate it. Can I get 🫂 in the comments please 😭
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Edit because I dont want this to get lost even tho this has no reblogs.
It can get better. It does.
Nothing is ever perfect or cured. We will always still have flashbacks and still be triggered; but the box we live in can get bigger.
When the dragon (triggers) breathe fire I'm allowed to arm myself with coping mechanisms I find comfortable and that work for me (the 5 senses one does not fucking work sorry not sorry). I'm allowed to cry about it I'm allowed and encouraged to feel all the damn things I was told were too much while I had to hold my own Mother's hand through countless tantrums. I was never too much. I was a child.
Anyways, just finished listening to the audiobook "What My Bones Know" by Stephanie Foo