#dad blogging

[wiltking]

my body has never felt worse during this time of year but ill be damned if im not out there on my hands and knees and quivering on the ladder putting up THE cutest christmas lights on my street

[blizabrth]

it's my dad's birthday today and i am going to gift him spotify premium. a little while ago he was like "i know nothing about modern music. i haven't listened to a music since 2000." and that just made me so sad

[rainbowchibbit]

#HelpfulDadTips from my Dad

[endreal]

Not quite an angel or tree star, but a decent topper nevertheless!

My dad loved kitschy ornaments, and this was the one he got on his last trip to dragon*con, but has remained in the box ever since.

The problem is, I don’t know when that was, and neither Google nor eBay are being especially helpful right now. Anyone with a historic dragon*con knowledge able and willing to help me date the ornament? Pretty please!

[vermontparnasse]

my father just referred to chickpeas as 'small square peanut beans' and 'chip beans'........ so close and yet so far.........

[acelaces]

my brain starts to believe my dad again when we're together for too long and it creeps me tf out he's so predictable and I know every story and every rant and every flashback some of them feel like memories like he was telling me about when him and his friends used to break into shops at valpark again and it was so vivid. And he knows nothing about me lmao I don't even have to talk. He literally remembers my childhood worse than me. He's so much less terrifying now he's sick and sad and unravelling but god damn. Goddddd.

[ask-amari]

Lock em up

Don’t forget to lock your bike, aspiring spy kiddos! Can’t have your escape mode stolen unless you want to fail your mission…

Remember a few handy tips: 1. Lock them in a busy, bright place where there are other bikes (more trees in the forest…) 2. Lock them to something sturdy like bike racks or metal railings (not trees or street signs!) 3. With an U-lock, make sure the lock goes around the rack, wheel, and frame (fill the u space up as much as possible) 4. Your bike frame MUST also be locked (if not you’ll find all you’re left with is a locked wheel) 5. Keep the lock off the ground so it can’t be crushed with a hammer 6. If you leave your lock in a complicated position, the harder it is for a thief to steal, but the harder it is for you also to unlock it and make your flashy escape in time - so use your best judgment!

This has been a PSA from your local spy dad 😋👍

[conversationswithleo]

The Adaptable Manipulation of “Threenagers”

There are people in this world who thrive at getting others to do their bidding, transitioning from one tactic to the next until they get what they want.

I used to call these people “sociopaths.” After this weekend, I’m adding another term to the list: “Three-year-olds.”

Recently, Sally has become obsessed with swimming. Every other day or so, she gets it into her head that she wants to go, and she will ask every ninety seconds from that point forward, usually in a whiny, needling voice. This approach has middling success.

The other night, I heard her laughing in her sleep. This is unusual to say the least, so even though I knew the chances were almost nil that she’d remember, I decided to ask her about it, leading to the following exchange:

ME: Sally, do you know what sound you were making in your sleep last night?

SALLY (Not understanding the question): (Laughs)

ME: That’s right! You were laughing! Do you remember why?

SALLY (Clearly not remembering any of this): Yes.

ME (Skeptical but amused): Oh yeah? Why?

SALLY: Because I was happy, Daddy!

ME: Why were you happy?

SALLY: Because I knew I was going to wake up, and you were going to take me swimming!

ME: ...

SALLY: CAN we go swimming today, Daddy?

ME: YOU’RE THREE!!!

Clearly, it is up to my wife and me to teach her that these types of tactics don’t work. And we’ll begin as soon as I get all this pool water out of my ears...