The Fearful Girl’s House.
Once upon a time there was a very fearful girl.
The fearful girl felt safest in her house, but even there she didn't really feel safe. Some nights she would lie awake, wondering if the wooden beams were rotten or weak and the ceiling would cave in on her while she slept, or if the walls were strong enough to withstand the winds or the weight of the roof.
Eventually the fearful girl couldn't take it anymore, she had to know for sure. So she went room to room with her wooden mallet, knocking on all the surfaces and listening to the sound, trying to determine whether or not it sounded sturdy and safe. To be honest with herself, the girl was not sure what that sounded like, probably not hollow, but how would she know for sure?
This uncertainty gnawed at her, until she couldn't take it anymore. So she put down the mallet and picked up a sledge hammer and started knocking on all the surfaces all over again. Her theory, this time, was that she had to stress test the structures to make sure that they would not break under greater force, because sound alone would not be enough to see how solid the wood was. She tested the structural soundness in this fashion for the next few days. The house sounded quite solid, and the wooden beams seemed flexible, nothing fell on top of her and nothing broke, yet, this did not relieve her of her anxiety.
Now she feared that she might have weakened the structure of her home with all the tests and she wished she hadn't started testing to begin with. Did some of the planks creek more than it had before, was the crack in the wooden ceiling beam just a bit wider? Or was this only in her mind? Oh if only she hadn't done these stupid tests, she would probably have a sturdy house, but now she did not know if her house was actually about to crash down on her or not. It was all her fault, if only, if only, if only. Why am I like this, the girl asked herself. Why do I have to break and ruin everything.
There was only one way to know for sure if the house was still sturdy, she decided. So the girl picked up her hammer again, and started beating her house with more strength than before. And so the cycle continued until one day the house had enough.
“Look here you,” said the house, “all these years you have lived inside of me and I haven't collapsed on top of you. Does that count for nothing? Why do you have to beat and pound me with that hammer. Haven't I proven to you time and time again that I will not collapse?”
“But after all I have done,” said the girl, “What if you collapse now? I don't know if you will, I don't know if you will not, I will never know until I find out. But I don't even know how I am supposed to find out without everything going wrong. Oh how terrible.”
“You could have trusted me,” said the house.
The girl shook her head sorrowfully and picked up her sledge hammer once more. The girl believed nothing could be trusted. How could she trust after all she had done? Before the girl could take another swing, the house said, “Stop! That's it, I am done.”
So the house got up and left.
The girl stared up at the blue sky, she felt a great painful loss, but also a perverse sense of relief. There was no more roof above her that could fall on her. However, the relief didn't last. As the days passed, as the weeks passed, fear crept back in, so the girl went in search, as she had done many times before, for yet another house, in hopes, that one day, she would feel safe.
The girl then woke once more from her nightmare, fear and yearning in her heart.













