Hi love! Can I request #1 with Jackson ♥️?? Thank you so much!!! I look forward to your blog all the time, so thank you for your hard work in keeping your hungry readers satisfied!!♥️♥️ You're too kind.
#1 with Jackson from Got7
Can I request no.1 with Jackson please?
comments: okay, so i got a couple different requests in regards to this prompt, so i tried to meld them together as best as i could :) also, thank you all for the love <3
1) “You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”
Prompt list can be found here!
Member: Got7′s Jackson x Y/N
You looked up, bobbing your head along calmly to the track blasting over the studio speakers. Jackson sat anxiously at the mixing board, swinging his swivel chair back and forth along with the beat. His face was overwhelmingly serious; brows furrowed and lips puckered as he concentrated on the sound. You were fairly confident in most of the music you had created for the album, but you couldn’t help but foster a small amount of anxiety as it played.
You tapped your pen anxiously above the lyrics you had so painstakingly taken the time to perfect. The black scribbles across the page meant little to anyone that wasn’t you, but you attempted to wave that thought away. Someone, somewhere could relate. Everything was relative and if your words could make a fan feel a little less alone...then it was all worth it.
You had been assisting in writing and composing music for JYP artists for the past few years, growing and thriving with the musicians around you. Life wasn’t always easy, and more often than not that was reflected in your writing. Artists never seemed to ask questions, as they appreciated the work you put in, but you were constantly challenged by a single entity.
Jackson had quickly become a driving force in your career, insisting he should assist in at least the rap writing for Got7. You didn’t mind, initially encouraging how precocious he was about being involved in the songs they would be performing. After several writing sessions, you rapidly came to realize your misstep, Jackson was going to push you, and you wouldn’t always be okay with it.
Most people knew Jackson as a big-hearted individual, overflowing with positive affirmations and kindness for everyone he met. That was simply one of the many sides of this complex man. Few people outside of his members were privileged enough to witness him in “work mode.” He became determined, often frustrated, and spread himself too thin. At his core, he wanted to please everyone and create the best content he possibly could. and often you were caught in his crossfires.
The song you had both been so focused on faded out and Jackson wasted no time to spin in his chair and stare at you. He remained silent for a moment as he searched your face, mildly confused.
“Aish, don’t look at me like that,” you groaned, looking anywhere but at him.
“Read me the chorus again,” he said quietly, bringing his fingers to tap against each other.
“I’m not at my best when you are around.
When you’re lost, I feel as if I’ve found...
the real me, apart from we.
How can you always drag me down?
i can’t catch my breath when i’m running away
chasing after the words you’d never say
can this be, can you see
I don’t know how to stay.”
Your voice was barely audible as you reached the end of the chorus, not having to ever actually read the words aloud to yourself. You shook your head quickly, pushing away the memories attempting to come to the forefront of your mind. You looked up slowly to Jackson who’s eyes had never left your face. He heaved a large sigh before standing and plopping alongside you on the aged, worn couch shoved into the corner of the room.
“I told you not to look at me like that,” you grumbled, shutting your notebook and slapping it on the coffee table before you.
“How long have I known you?” Jackson sighed, crossing his arms.
“I don’t know,” you lied, turning away and examining one of the promotional posters on the wall.
“Try again,” Jackson smiled, knowing better.
“Since before you knew Korean probably,” you hummed.
“I still don’t know Korean,” he giggled. “So that’s not a good time marker.”
“Oh hush, you’re as Korean as anyone else here,” you muttered, picking at a hole in your jeans. Jackson noticed and moved his hand to grab yours, halting your fingers from their busy work. He held your palm lightly in his, scraping his callused thumb back and forth across the tender flesh.
“I don’t think...I’ve ever listened to a song like this...at least not one that you’ve wrote,” he whispered, tilting his head. His eyes were serious again. “Usually Jaebum hyung or Jinyoungie are the ones writing about unrequited love.”
“It’s not about unrequited love,” you groaned. “It’s about trying to escape a relationship that isn’t healthy for you.”
Jackson lifted his brows as he leaned back, never stopping his mindless tick of playing with your fingers. You felt odd as you kept your hand held in his, not used to his unusual quirk or being this close to an attractive male. It had been some time after all.
“What, Jackson?” you mumbled, exasperated. “I know your facial expressions say more than enough, but please, I know you have no issue with verbalization.”
“Well...I guess my first question,” Jackson nodded. “Is...who hurt you, Y/N? The lyrics are just...so sad? Why are they like that?”
“Aish,” you hissed, looking away and pulling your hand from his. Jackson eyed you as if you had just smacked him across the face. He recrossed his legs and brought his eyebrows together in frustration.
“Alright, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to...I just don’t think that anyone should feel like that,” he sighed.
“Be realistic,” you grumbled. “Not everything can be unicorns and rainbows, Jackson.”
“I’m aware,” he whispered bitterly, his face now radiating hurt. You breathed deeply before releasing a long and tired sigh. The last thing you wanted to do was insult someone who showed genuine care about wanting to learn more about your past, no matter how gory the details.
“You’ve been in a relationship, right?” you sighed. Jackson looked away sheepishly, crossing his arms as it was now his turn to survey the poster tacked to the wall.
“Hey, I’m not an ahgase, so you don’t have to lie. Well...I mean...I am an ahgase by default...but not one who lives under the delusion that you’ve never shared an intimate moment with someone,” you continued.
“Yes, I’ve been in a few,” he stuttered out, still anxiously gauging your reaction.
“Then you know, not all relationships are panned to work out,” you sighed. “The inspiration for this song was one of those.”
“Well that’s fine and good,” Jackson nodded. “But I still feel as if we’re skimming the surface here.”
“I can’t tell if you’re genuinely concerned or just a gossip,” you mused.
“It was just...it was a relationship to where I cared about the other person a hell of a lot more than they cared about me,” you whispered. “I did everything for him...and all he did was let me down. I felt like I was losing myself while trying to salvage what was left of us. I waited around for him to become something he very obviously wasn’t...and only ended up hurting myself in the end.”
“Y/N,” Jackson cooed, leaning forward to take your hand again. This time it was different than it had been before, his touch more comforting, his eyes more heartfelt. “You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm”
“Listen to you!” you laughed, shaking your head. “I know you’re trying to give advice here, but you could use a little bit of your own.”
“How do you figure!” he gasped. “I’m not busy taking care of people who are bad for me.”
“Maybe not bad for you, but you sure are concerned about everyone but yourself,” you mumbled. You watched the expression on Jackson’s face quickly change again, making a mental note to watch your words. He was extremely susceptible to even the smallest amount of crudeness in your tone.
“You work so incredibly hard and are so worried about keeping everyone happy...you forget about your own happiness,” you continued quietly. You patted his hands as you spoke, trying to be as comforting as he was. “See...so you can’t set yourself on fire...to keep others warm. You can’t keep spreading yourself too thin.”
“And you shouldn’t make yourself feel terrible just to make someone happier in a relationship,” Jackson nodded, biting his lip.
“Well...I’m not in the relationship anymore, am I?” you giggled.
“So what?” he gasped. “Am I supposed to quit my work?”
“No!” you groaned. “You’re supposed to consider the jobs you take and be more proactive with your schedule. Just like you’ve always been proactive with involving yourself with our writing. I know you want to make everyone proud, but you already are. A little rest won’t change that.”
Jackson nodded slowly, biting his lip as he gave you a side eye. You knew his wheels of thought were constantly spinning, so there was no telling what would come out of his mouth next.
“Put myself first,” he whispered. “Make myself happy.”
“That is the idea,” you nodded, giving him a kind smile.
“Alright then, let’s go,” he said with a short nod as he sprung to his feet and grabbed your hand. He tugged you up and began strolling to the door.
“Hey, hey, hey,” you spit out quickly, dragging your feet as his strong arms propelled you forward. “Go? Where are we going? We were finalizing the song!”
“Not anymore,” he said firmly. “We’re putting ourselves first.”
“Can’t we put ourselves first afterwards?” you groaned, still fighting his tugs.
“That wouldn’t be in the spirit of today’s message, now would it?” Jackson chuckled.
“So what exactly are we doing?” you muttered, finally pulling Jackson to a stop. He spun around, shifting his hand from it’s position on your wrist, to interlock his fingers with yours instead. His smile was warm and friendly as his eyes connected with yours, conveying something you had never quite seen from him before.
“I’m taking you for a cup of coffee. We aren’t going to talk about work, and I may even put my arm around you. This is a date, Y/N,” he whispered, beginning your forward motion again.
“A-a date?” you stuttered.
Jackson laughed, looking over his shoulder to shoot you a wink. “You told me to do things that make me happy, didn’t you?”
