Request: I’m not sure how to do this lol. But what about a angst/fluff story with jaehyun. Prompts 1 and 4?
1) ”Here’s a concept…me and you…married.”
4) “Doesn’t matter what happens…if you call me, I will always answer.”
Pairing: NCT Jaehyun x Reader
To anyone looking in on the conference room you had been sequestered in, you would seem focused. It was easier to center your interest on the small, black smudge decorating the table before you than to actually think about the situation you were in.
Was it pen ink? you asked yourself, furrowing your brows. Or maybe someone had scraped along the flat surface?
“Y/N,” the SM employee said softly, shaking you from your thoughts.
“Where’s Jaehyun?” you hummed, still not ready to fully face the situation.
“In the conference room across the hall,” one of NCT’s managers sighed. You looked up, noticing he was leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed, and grimace decorating his expression. You looked over to the HR employee sitting before you, her fingers interlaced over stacks of paperwork.
“Why can’t we be in the same room? you asked. It seemed like an innocent question.
“You both need to be briefed...” the HR woman said slowly. “Separately.”
Coerced seemed to be a better word.
“Briefed,” you repeated, lifting your brows. “I’m guessing I don’t get to be an active participant in what will be happening, do I?”
“I think that’s up to Jaehyun,” the manager nodded, biting his lip.
“A question out of curiosity,” you hummed, looking back to the smudge on the table. “I wasn’t aware of there being a dating ban in any SM contracts.”
“That’s because there isn’t,” the HR employee nodded.
“Then, why have we been called into the office today?” you asked, the question plaguing you long enough.
“While you haven’t been caught publicly,” she said, picking her words delicately. “You two have had enough interactions to draw our attention and -”
“Is it because I’m not an idol?” you said quickly, cutting your eyes at her.
“Partially,” she nodded. “There’s a lot of things at play here. Several factors make this pairing less than ideal. You not being part of the company is only a fraction of our concerns.”
“In general we encourage dating within the company,” the manager confirmed. “Makes it less messy that way. Easier to hide.”
“Why does it have to be hidden?” you whispered, shaking your head.
“If you care about Jaehyun’s career,” he said quietly. “And the careers of his members, you know why it has to be hidden. It’s an avalanche of awful as soon as the news breaks that idols are dating each other, let alone if it’s released that an idol is dating a...a...”
“Regular member of society,” the HR woman finished. “That third wall has completely been broken for fans and it can get...vicious. For both of you.”
“There’s no way to do this without backlash,” the manager nodded.
“But...maybe there could be...here’s a concept...me and you...married,” Jaehyun said breathlessly from the door. You looked up to find him, door knob in hand, as he smiled sadly down upon you.
“Jae,” you croaked, finally feeling a bit of relief from the anxiety weighing down on your chest.
“If we get married, we can circumvent this whole thing,” he chuckled, pulling out a chair next to the HR employee. She glanced to him wearily and attempted to let out a chuckle. “If we get married, then fans just have to deal with it.”
“That may be a tad bit extreme,” you grinned. You could commend him for attempting to make the situation more lighthearted. It was what he did best.
Reaching forward, you began to scrape your nail along the black stain once again. It was easier to look at than your own boyfriend’s face. Not when you knew the inevitable was coming.
“We’ll leave you two alone for a moment,” the NCT manager nodded, tapping the shoulder of the HR woman lightly. “Call us if you need us.”
Jaehyun gave them a fleeting nod, his eyes never halting their constant dance around your facial features.
As soon as the door closed behind them, the words flew out of your mouth with ferocious speed.
“They’re making you break up with me then?” you muttered.
“In so many words, I was told I could either pick you or the group,” Jaehyun nodded. “They told me it would be different if it was someone in the company...or another idol even. They’re so obnoxiously hung up on the idea that because you aren’t in the entertainment industry-”
“That I’ll ruin everything,” you said quietly. “I’ll ruin all of you.”
Jaehyun smiled sadly at you again, not bothering to say another word. Reaching forward, he moved your finger from it’s repeated scratching and placed his hand around yours. You were so used to finding solace in his affirmations that the lack of them made you feel increasingly hollow.
“There’s no dating ban,” you whispered. “How can they make you decide?”
“They aren’t making me decide,” he sighed. His thumb rubbed your fingers anxiously. “They’re suggesting it’s in my best interest.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to remain calm.
It had never been a concern that Jaehyun would be taken away from you. Not without your say.
“So this is it,” you said, trying to confirm to yourself. You needed the solid finality of an answer from him. Until then, it felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Jaehyun said, glancing at you through his lashes. “Not if you don’t want it to be.”
“You have to be joking,” you gasped. It almost felt worse to draw things out. It ached to be hopeful. “I would never, in a million years, ask you to choose me over your career.”
“But you have the option,” he cooed. “I love you. I am dizzily, wildly, head over heels in love with you and I would leave this all tomorrow if it meant I got to stay with you. Yeah, fans would be disappointed. My members would be upset. And my parents would probably throttle me, but I would have you. And out of everything, that would make me happy.”
“I won’t let you do it,” you whispered, feeling the emotion begin to choke your words. “I can’t.”
“But you could,” he urged. “Just say the word. Tell me that you want me and I’ll let them know.”
You felt as if the world was falling around you. Your shoulders were heavy and you were lucky you were sitting because your knees were incredibly weak. How could this decision fall upon you? Yes, it would be incredibly selfish if you asked Jaehyun to pick you over the life he had built. Yes, you would be delusional to think that SM would let him go quietly. And yes, you were well aware that this was going to hurt more than anything you had every encountered in life up until this point.
“You can’t ask me to do this,” you hissed. “How can you expect me to be the one to decide?”
“Because it is your decision,” he nodded.
“It’s your life,” you countered. “It’s our life. Our decision.”
“And I’m being asked to pick between two things that I love more than anything,” he groaned. “I have spent years training and cultivating my music. But as soon as I met you...you were like...like a music all of your own. How am I supposed to choose?”
“Well...I guess you’ll have to,” you croaked, pulling your hand away from his. He looked up at you with wide eyes as you attempted to stand. “I’m not going to ask you to turn your back on legions of people who love you...not when I can only offer my love alone.”
“But your love would be enough,” he said quietly, his eyes pleading.
“You don’t get to have it both ways,” you smiled sadly. You wanted him to know that you would be okay. Things were going to be okay, albeit eventually. “I don’t blame you, Jaehyun.”
“Then who else is there?” he croaked, his face dropping into his hands. You stifled a cry making it’s way out of your lips and decided to cross the room instead. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind, you set your chin on the top of his head and took a deep breath in.
“I’ll be fine,” you whispered, attempting to convince yourself as well as him. “We both will be.”
“I know we will,” he croaked, finally lifting his face from his hands. He began to turn, causing you to lean away from him. “I just don’t want to have to go through the process it takes to become fine.”
Your lids were heavy as your head hit the pillow. The comfort and solace of your bed had long since replaced the warmth of being in a loving relationship, and for now, that was okay. You were coping.
Throwing yourself into work had helped, as well as reading endless amounts of young adult fiction. You would be embarrassed to admit the amount of fan written stories you had unearthed about your ex boyfriend in your short time apart, but that was another, maybe slightly unhealthier way you were managing.
Willing yourself to glance at the clock before you completely passed out, you caught the bright screen of your cell phone out of the corner of your eye. You immediately surged forward, taking the cell into your palm, and analyzing the contact photo decorating the screen.
“Hello,” you whispered, unsure if it was a pocket dial or not.
“Hey,” his familiar voice echoed through your room. “Is this...is this a bad time?”
“Oh no,” you croaked, shaking your head even though he couldn’t see you. “Not at all. Is everything okay?”
“Oh, oh yeah,” he hummed. This was incredibly awkward, but you preferred it over silence. “Everything is fine.”
“There’s a difference between “okay” and “fine”,” you chuckled. “What do you mean by “fine”?”
“Just tired,” he murmured. “Work has been...draining.”
“Hasn’t it always?” you smiled.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “But before, I at least had you to balance things.”
You remained quiet for a moment, uncertain of what to say.
“Thank you for picking up,” he whispered, cutting through the silence.
“Doesn’t matter what happens...if you call me, I will always answer,” you cooed. It was true. You would always be here for him, whether you were dating or not.
“Do you think...” Jaehyun began quietly. You could tell by his tone how tired he was. He was probably curled in bed as well. Or in the back of a SM vehicle. Or maybe even on set somewhere. “Do you think that one day it could be different?”
“Jaehyun,” you managed. The thought hurt too much to explore.
“Sorry,” he groaned. “I shouldn’t have...I...don’t know what I should and shouldn’t do anymore. I just know that I miss you.”
“Jaehyun, it’s getting late,” you said quietly. The words pained you to say, but you couldn’t do this. Not when you weren’t allowed to be with him.
“Yeah, you’re totally right,” he croaked. “I’ll...I’ll call earlier next time?”
“Sure,” you whispered, part of you hoping he would call, and another part of you praying he wouldn’t. “Goodnight.”
Jaehyun was never once to mince words.
You leaned into the keyboard at your work station and heaved a sigh. While he had been calling nearly every night, you hadn’t heard from him in more than three. Your last exchange hadn’t exactly gone easily, but lead to a bit of an argument.
“I miss you,” he whispered shortly after finishing up a story about how Mark had nearly set himself aflame.
“Jaehyun,” you said, using his name as a warning.
“It’s okay for you to say it back,” he hummed sleepily. “I know you do.”
“Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” you grumbled.
“But my feelings haven’t changed,” he said quietly. “And I would guess yours haven’t either, considering you still pick up your phone.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t then,” you muttered irritably. While you weren’t trying your hardest to get over him, he certainly wasn’t helping the cause.
“Why’s that?” he croaked.
“Maybe you shouldn’t call me until you can be allowed to see me again,” you said harshly. “Maybe you shouldn’t bother unless things change.”
You were hurt, and for some reason, you wanted to confirm his hurt as well.
Funny how scorned feelings worked that way.
“I’ve been trying,” he mumbled, pain filling his voice. “Don’t you think I haven’t been negotiating since the day we -”
“Negotiating,” you laughed bitterly. “Great.”
“Cut me some slack here, Y/N,” he whined. “Please.”
“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you croaked, already resolved not to answer his calls again. You hung up the phone and heaved a sigh.
Unfortunately your resolve wouldn’t be tested because he hadn’t called since.
Maybe you had been too harsh with him. Clicking aimlessly at your screen, you let your thoughts wander to the pain in his voice when you had lashed out at him.
It wasn’t his fault, and you shouldn’t have treated him like it was.
Maybe you should call him.
Glancing over your shoulder at the cubes around you, you picked up your phone and found yourself navigating to his contact information. Tapping his number into your desk phone, you winced as you picked up the receiver. You held your breath, waiting for the inevitable.
But instead, you were sent to voicemail.
Closing your eyes, you let out a small groan before setting the phone down on your desk again.
“You alright over there?” your coworker prodded from the cube opposite of you.
“Just peachy,” you sighed.
“Oh, by the way,” she hummed, standing so the top half of her face could be seen over the small wall. “The receptionist called and said she had something at the front desk for you.”
“Why would she call you?” you grumbled. Usually calls from the receptionist meant new assignments your supervisor was too lazy to bring down to your desk himself.
“Your line was busy,” she chirped before disappearing again.
Rolling your eyes, you pulled yourself to your feet and began to wander toward the elevators that lead to the reception area. Stepping onto the lift, you pounded the bright buttons, and waited patiently as the doors closed.
Why wouldn’t Jaehyun have picked up? He knew your work number just as well as your cell. Had you really hurt him that badly?
You didn’t really mean it when you said he should leave you alone.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding as the elevator doors slowly creaked open, exposing the lobby before you. Looking up from your shoes, you halted for a moment, feeling as if your heart had dropped to your toes.
You watched with already watery eyes as he spun, seeing you as well.
For a moment you just stared at each other. He looked as he had the last time you had seen him, not that you would expect him to be any different.
His hair was pushed back from his face and his clothes were stylishly disheveled.
And he held a bouquet of roses in his hand.
As you glanced up from the flowers and back to his face, he broke into a large grin.
And you knew with that contagious smile that things were going to be okay.
Like you both had hoped for.
