#death joke

[fuckboyzuko]

Hey it's about your boyfriend. Yeah sorry, we sent him to the Shadow Realm. Just in the dub, though. In the sub he's dead.

[icarus-collective]

Been discovering more stuff about our system and let’s just say. Kill us🙂‍↕️

[ab0g1arka]

I’ve started examining benches.

Not to sit on them.

To determine whether they are, in fact, benches

or time machines pretending to be benches.

That’s a bench.

You can tell because it’s uncomfortable in a very present-day way.

That’s a time machine.

It’s trying too hard to look like a bench.

No normal bench has that level of confidence.

Now this one is interesting,

because it is a bench,

but it was installed in 1987

and has not moved on emotionally yet.

So physically a bench, temporally a hostage situation.

At first glance this appears to be a time machine,

but it’s actually just a modern art bench,

which means no one can tell what it is,

including the designer.

So it is neither bench nor time machine.

It is a grant.

This is a person sitting very still on a bench

hoping I will classify them as furniture.

They are not a bench.

They are also not a time machine.

Unless they regret their life choices,

in which case they are attempting to go back 20 minutes.

Now this one is clearly a time machine,

because it makes you think about every conversation you’ve ever had

while waiting for someone who said “I’m five minutes away.”

That’s temporal distortion.

This is a plaque dedicated to a bench that used to be here.

So it is a memorial to sitting.

You cannot sit on it,

which makes it the ghost of a bench.

Not a time machine,

but it does deal heavily in the past.

In conclusion, the world is full of benches.

Some of them are benches. Some of them are time machines.

And some of them are things we will never fully understand, but will cautiously sit near anyway.

So next time you see a bench, ask yourself one simple question:

“Is this for resting, or am I about to become historically relevant?”

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Dick: Jason, what are these?

Jason: They’re “Welcome Back” stickers.

Dick: Why do you have a whole roll of them?

Jason: They’re the invites for my next funeral!

[bugpalace]

so i was bored and went to one of those roblox therian hangout games n someone saw my avatr and said 'die furry' in chat and then left game. they had like a raccoon mask or smth im actually baffled when ive seen posts of 'therians who are anti-furry.. what' and every single time i think 'nobody is actually a therian and anti-furry at the same time' bro im so confused

its so weird its funny

[gremlin-pattie]

if i ever die i want there to be a piñata at the funeral, and when the guests break it open my bones fall out. none of the guests know about this beforehand

[xylomilo]

[Harumi and Morro looking at Lloyd’s dead body]

Morro: I wonder what was going through his head as he died.

Harumi: A bullet.

The Ninja:

(Art by crumb cuptoast love them)

[my-funked-up-life]