#doesn’t

[rovadeve]

Cultivating to immortality is the most statisfying conclusion to Lan Xichens’ character and also the worst thing that could happen to him. Man goes into seclusion after finding out one of the loves of his life killed the other, and he knows he’s complacent in all murder attempts and bad blood between the two of them. During seclusion all he can do is cultivate and meditate and he slowly finds he no longer ages. His hair stays eternally jetblack, his face never starts to show any lines. He realises his little brother looks older than he does when they stand next to each other. He finds he’s going to be here with himself forever, on a cold mountain guided by more than a thousand rules of which he doesn’t know how many he broke, forever seperated from the two men he loved and wronged and forever carrying the guilt and what if’s around. Jin Guangyao shoved Lan Xichen away from that coffin and as such damned himself and Nie Mingjue to eternal fighting without their souls ever getting rest, and damned Lan Xichen to an eternal life living with that guilt and pain. Like his sworn brothers were doomed to die, he should be doomed to an eternal life. Everyone will forever see him as the perfect image of Gusu Lan cultivation practice. Lan Xichen doesn’t know where he can start to explain that that’s not true.

[calp0sa]

One

[ticklefighthockey]

is there something about the journeyman concept that you find completely delightful? is there something in the world that you will find delightful to spend time with? doesn't have to necessarily be positive or something but an aspect where you're like YUM i fucking love spending time thinking about this

honestly not at the moment which is why I keep not working on it!! but this is a good question because it prompts me to think about like… what isn’t working for me about it and what could I change/tweak in the premise that would make it more appealing to me?

here are the things that are not working:

no real time pressure or sense of like, external screws tightening that puts pressure on their actions in some way or limits the timeline

the big moment of “action” is in the past—and it’s not clear what’s driving them in the present, so it feels like I’m just shoving two paper dolls together and then marching them through a series of events. so like, no internal momentum propelling the story forward

I cannot really get a feel for either character. all of these things are tied together I know… the fact that I can’t figure out their motivations is why there’s no internal momentum and the characters themselves feel flat

idk just in general: needs more urgency

honestly I think I need to go back to the drawing board on what the premise is… and see if there are elements I can keep but reimagine quite a bit to make it workable.

[anchormapmarker]

Many months ago, I was tasked to organize a box full of invoices for 2 companies in binders (3 per company), by month (4 per binder), and by numerical order (+100 per month). The box has been laying there ever since. It's too meticulous of a job for my ADHD and PDA brain, I'm simply unable do it.

Today I sat on the floor and sorted every invoice, by binder only. It's not sorted by month nor by number. I didn't do the whole task correctly, I half-assed the job. All while thinking that though they may not be in the right room, at least they're now in the right house, so you don't have to knock at every door in the city anymore.

I was assigned a task I couldn't do, so I did half of it. Can you believe it? I did half of something that was impossible for me to do, turning it into smaller, manageable tasks that I can now get to some other time.

So here's to all of you broken people out there: you're only broken when looked at through a capitalist lens. Half-ass things. Take care of your brain. Don't try to make things perfect just to feel like shit when you either a) inevitably fail, or b) don't even try because you're afraid you'll fail; because perfection doesn't exist.

We've been conditioned by capitalism to believe in an ideal that nobody can reach. Perfection is unattainable because it's not a thing. How comforting is that?

How warm and reassuring is the knowledge that all we can do to make life better is just that: make it better?

The world doesn't need you to be perfect, it needs you to lend a hand. Be helpful to those in need, and don't give your best to those you wouldn't give your worst fighting for.

And next time you're being so hard on yourself for failing at something or not being 'good enough', remember it's capitalism talking, and you're too hot for it to be talking to you, so, you know... should you actually be listening?

[indiestsnake]

I'm unsure how you'll feel when you wake up, but I hope you are up well rested.

You're one of the best people I've ever met and I am so glad you're here, even if you're going through a rough spot at the moment.

I'm sure you'll manage to overcome this just as I've overcome similar challenges, as just as you have in the past.

I would never even dare to ponder the possibility of leaving you behind or abandoning you. I simply cannot allow that. I'll always be here in case you need me, or in case you just need a light chat.

Hopefully you wake up to find many positive messages, baiii

(gotta dip cuz I'm busy :p)

words fail me once more ._.

thank you crow. thank you for sticking with me and caring and helping. thank you

[highladyofterrasen7]

Feyre: is dying

Rhys

[vsquared2]