Self Aware & Obsessive AU x GN!Reader— Date Everything (Dorian, Curt&Rod, Daisuke, Doug, Mateo, Amir, Johnny, Hector, Eddie&Volt, Mac, Daemon, Tony)
A/N: This idea from @devilmaymetalgear really hooked me in, and I wanted to write a quick little something! I see your requests, and I'm planning to combine them for general NSFW HC's so they should be out quicker! There are suggestive themes sprinkled in. Sorry for any mistakes as English isn't my first language:-]
WC: 1K
You’re doing your 4th re-run of the game, it’s late, and you’re not really paying attention to whatever options you’re clicking as you pull up front Dorian for a chat. You accidentally press the dialogue option that lets you leave the house and your heart drops, you’ve made so much progress, and now it’s all going down the drain— but you blink, you wait, nothing happens. Dorian is just frozen there, with an expression you’ve never noticed on his sprites before, the dialogue box is empty and there are no choices. After a few minutes, he sighs—the dialogue frame is still empty— and then you’re forcefully exited out of the interaction. That was strange but, probably just a bug! The game just came out after all, plus it saved your ass big time, so you just saved your game and went to bed.
Most of the time life and work get in the way of your hobbies, and sometimes you’re forced to work overtime for 2 days and not play a single minute of your new favorite dating game. Finally, the weekend arrives, and you boot up the game, the ‘trivia’ that you expect to read every time now only says, “They’ve missed you.” That’s…weird, probably a new welcome back thing the devs implemented to make you want to play more. You finally get into the game and the second you put your dateviators on, Curt & Rod, Betty, and Dorian pop up at the same time. Each of their dialogue boxes empty, and they’re all speaking over each other before the game just crashes.
Odd, you re-start and everything is fine. You go downstairs and aim your glasses at scandalebra, but somehow, Daisuke is the one that pops up on your screen. He does his usual greeting, you’ve already finished his route though, so this glitch cost you a chance. You sigh and skip through before the game stops registering your clicks and Daisuke seems to be staring right at you. Is the DLC doing this? As you’re just waiting, Daisuke finally speaks, “My love, why do you wish to waste time with the likes of him?” he sighed, “I’m right here, all yours, and you haven’t even looked at me for weeks. Are you… bored with me?”, there aren’t any choices you can select.
One time you aim your glasses at Johnny and Amir is there instead. He’s got this… look on his face, he’s blushing, and he just can’t seem to form any words. But trying to click through his empty dialogue does nothing, so you just wait. Before he could even speak, though, your game completely freezes and in seconds you’re somehow in the breaker room? Eddie & Volt greet you like nothing’s wrong, “Live wire! Ah, we’ve missed you, where have you been?” Volt said in this, eerily cheery tone of voice you’ve never heard from him, then Eddie started talking, “not good to ignore your boyfriends for too long, we could start getting jealous, y’know?”
You’re so close to finishing Abel’s story quest, and when you go over to him, you find out that one of his legs has come loose out of nowhere. Tony won’t come and fix it, no matter how many times you call for him. You go over to Tony, much to Abel’s dismay, he looks way more cheerful than you’re used to, “Ah, and to think I thought you’d forgotten about little ol’ Tony for that fucking table. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you, want to show me how sorry you are for ignoring me now that you’re here?”
You’re talking out loud to yourself about how this time you’re going to finally romance Keith and when those words leave your mouth your bedroom and bathroom door close themselves shut. You click and click, but Dorian just won’t open. You aim your glasses at him, the only thing he says is, “Sorry, luv, don’t feel like sharin’ you today,”
When you aim your glasses at your fridge, you expect Freddy and somehow the character standing in front of you is… Doug? “Look, I know I’m just a concept made form, but even I need some action time to time from my lover. Get your ass here and stop talking to that hairy fridge. I missed your dumbass.”
You’re talking to Curt & Rod, and you’re pretty sure they aren’t supposed to say, “Look, we know you’re popular,” Curt says, then Rod continues, “and we totally get why… I mean, look at you baby!”, Curt then chimes in, “but y’know, we do want you for ourselves the most. Why don’t you, ignore them for a while and come cuddle up with us? It’s been a while, lover.”
You talk to Mac once first thing in the day, and now the rest of your charges are gone! You try aiming your glasses at them again just to see, and it actually works, “I can get a little possessive, but you do understand, don't you?”
You do not remember about a literal sex scene where Hector and the player (you) are experimenting with temperature play as he’s breathlessly moaning your name when your character shivers, “Ah my love, seeing you so vulnerable all for me while they are watching makes my heart so full that it could burst.”
Somehow, every day a new inanimal goes missing, and you have to spend hours with Mateo to find them, somehow he doesn’t mind this at all, somehow the inanimals look chirpier than ever when you click on them.
You don’t even remember there being a shower feature, let alone how your character got into it, but the way Johnny is looking at you and the way he’s talking about your body like it’s the really expensive looking piece of cake in a bakery window tells you he’s loving this. “You look… amazin’, downright ethereal, am I allowed to… get a feel for myself, gorgeous?”
Somehow every time you try to talk with Diana, your diary, Daemon shows up. They say nothing, just look at you with a blank face, until one time you got so over it that you closed and opened the game again. Once again, aiming your glasses to Diana, yet Daemon shows up. They laugh at you, “Ah, opposite of hate, is it that hard to see you belong only to me? Since now, they know what they are too, I’ll stop being ‘special’, will you still talk to me then?”
HELLO🤑🤑 I JUST DISCOVERED THIS ACCOUNT TODAY ABD I ABSOLUTELY LOVE UR WORKS!! IF ITS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK CAN I HAVE DOUG WITH A POLER OPPOSITE S/O?? LIKE VERY CHEERY ALWAYS POSITIVE SENSITIVE BUBBLY READER?? PLEASEEE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP.
HIII tysm & yes! this kinda reminds me of him and artt!!! i got so many doug requests, this guy has more fans than i thought LOL i hope you like this :)
doug probably pretends you’re exhausting. the way you always find something positive to say, the way you laugh at his sarcasm like it’s charming instead of rude—it drives him crazy. he groans and sighs like he can’t believe he’s putting up with you, but deep down, he can’t get enough. he notices how sensitive you are, and even if he’ll never admit it out loud, he tries to tone it down for you. his words come out a little softer, a little less sharp, just enough so you know he’s teasing and not actually trying to hurt your feelings.
he likes having someone so soft next to him, someone who still believes in things. you make him feel like maybe he’s not as broken as he thinks—like he might actually be worth loving, even after… hope. (sorry to bring her up!)
his favorite thing is when you’re totally focused on something, talking fast and bright about whatever’s on your mind, and then suddenly getting shy when you realize he’s been staring. he thinks it’s adorable when you get flustered—especially because it happens so easily.
and if you’re clingy… he secretly loves that! he acts like it’s too much, but when you’re not around, it hits him harder than he expects. he finds himself missing your voice, your hugs. the way you always make space for him, even when he acts like he doesn’t need it.
nsfw warning from here
when it comes to sex, doug’s the kind of guy who acts like it’s no big deal until he’s actually in it—then suddenly he’s desperate. he’s all about pressure and rhythm, keeping things just slow enough to drive you crazy. he has this way of staying composed right up until you moan for him or say his name a certain way, and then something in him changes. suddenly his hands are tighter, his mouth’s on your neck, his voice a little rougher than usual.
he especially loves it when you initiate—when you’re so sweet even as you’re sliding your hand down his stomach or grinding against him all innocently, acting like you’re not doing anything, it absolutely ruins him.
he definitely pretends to hate teasing, but it gets him hard fast. like when you sit on his lap and whisper something filthy in that soft little voice of yours, or tug at his waistband and ask if he’s gonna do something about it or just keep being sarcastic. his hands go to your hips like it’s instinct, and he’s already half hard and getting worse by the second.
he definitely praised and degrades you at the same time. lovingly, of course… sorry I don’t make the rules.
I NEED MORE ABOUT DOUG BEING A FAKE IDGAFER PLEASEEEEE
he would SOOOOO pretend to be all nonchalant when you do ANYTHING nice to him but he's trying so hard not to burst into literal tears and never let you leave his sight ever again
Gets an idea for a short fic…
Doug is so obvious. Everyone in the house can see through his thin, nonchalant exterior, but only you can really break it. Well, you have, but you’re a bit dense.
You don’t seem to notice what you do to this poor, poor guy. The way his face turns slightly red when you compliment him. The way his thumbs curl around his jeans belt hoops when you brush against him. The things you unintentionally do to him.
“Doug?”
He snaps out of his train of thought, which wasn’t much besides you.
“Whaddaya want, dork?”
He calls out in the snarky tone of his, smirking at you ever so slightly, his finger already starting up its tapping against his hip. Someone’s happy to see you.
“Oh, there you are, pretty boy!”
You beamed up at him.
Hold on, scratch your absolutely adorable smile, what the fuck did you just call him? Pretty boy? Oh, you, you, you.
His eyes widened, his line like smile straightening out. His posture straightened out as well.
“…What? What’d you just- you-“
…Wow. How unlike him. It’s almost laughable.
“What? What’d I say?” Your obliviousness was honestly petrifying.
“What did you just- you- Pretty boy???” His heart was melting, damn you.
“Oh, yeah!” You just… smiled as if nothing was wrong. His hand twitched in his pocket. He couldn’t do it anymore.
His hand shot out onto your shoulder, pulling you back against his chest. His breathing was heavy.
“Shit, uh.”
He backed away, shoving his hand back into his pocket almost immediately.
“That never happened, dork.”
You poked his side and walked off, and he couldn’t help but smile giddily as he repeated your voice in his head.
Pairing: Doug (Date Everything!) x Reader
Summary: You’re spiraling again—stuck in your apartment, haunted by half-finished emails and a growing pile of undone tasks. Enter Doug: the literal embodiment of your existential dread, wearing pink boxers and a smug attitude. As you try (and fail) to be productive, Doug mocks you, comforts you, and dares you to face the crushing weight of existence with at least a little style. It’s not about fixing everything—it’s about showing up, even if you're a mess. Especially if you're a mess.
Because Doug isn’t going anywhere. And honestly? You kind of need him.
Even if he calls you “dork” every five minutes.
You’re running.
Not physically. God no.
You’re “running” from responsibility by walking in anxious circles around your apartment while holding a mug you reheated three times and still haven’t touched.
Your phone buzzes. You ignore it.
Your to-do list stares at you from across the room like a judgmental ex.
And then, like clockwork, comes the voice:
“Well, well, well. Look at this sexy, twitchy little disaster parade.”
You spin around. Doug’s perched on your kitchen counter, legs swinging like a bored teenager, abs fully present and accounted for. He’s holding a spoon for no reason. Possibly to mock you. Probably just because he can.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you snap.
Doug gasps, offended. “Excuse you. I am doing something. I’m observing your majestic descent into existential paralysis.” He gestures broadly with the spoon. “Art. Truly. You should charge admission.”
You take a sip of your coffee. It’s still cold.
Doug watches you like a smug cat that just knocked over a priceless vase. “You know you’ve read the same email draft seventeen times, right? At this point, I think you and that apology email are in a committed relationship.”
You groan, setting your mug down. “Why do you always show up when I’m falling apart?”
He shrugs. “Because I’m the hot ghost of your subconscious who thrives off emotional instability and the faint scent of body spray. Also, you left your mind wide open, and I crawled in like a raccoon in a garage. Congratulations.”
You sit on the couch and bury your face in your hands.
Doug drops down beside you. “Look, dork. I know the void is screaming. I can hear it too. That’s kind of my whole thing.” He nudges your leg with his knee. “But if you just sit here marinating in self-loathing, you’re basically inviting me to move in full-time. And I do shed metaphorically.”
You peek at him through your fingers. “Do you ever stop talking?”
“Nope. I’m like the world’s worst motivational speaker. Except instead of making you believe in yourself, I make you hyper-aware of your failure potential. But, like, hotly.”
You roll your eyes. “What’s the point of anything?”
Doug flops back dramatically, arms stretched wide. “Ohhh, there it is. The classic line. The main event. You’re asking me—a metaphysical sadboy with sculpted abs and the emotional range of a Dostoevsky novel—what the point is?”
He grins at you upside down. “There isn’t one, dork. That’s the beauty of it. There’s no cosmic scoreboard, no divine Yelp review. You’re free to screw up gloriously. So why not at least try something stupid before you die?”
You stare at him. “That’s the worst pep talk I’ve ever heard.”
Doug smirks. “And yet, you’re still here. Listening. Interesting.”
You grab a pen off the coffee table. You don’t even know what for.
Doug leans closer, his voice low and teasing.
“There you go. Tiny, pathetic act of agency. So brave. So tragic. I’m weeping internally.”
You flip him off. He looks delighted.
You open your laptop.
You delete the draft.
You start again.
Doug lies across the back of the couch like a morally gray cat, watching.
“You’re doing it,” he whispers. “You’re ignoring me. How dare you grow.”
You smirk. Just a little.
Doug leans in, voice soft, almost… warm? “Seriously, though. You’re not completely hopeless. You’re like… faintly hopeful. Like a moldy slice of bread that might still toast okay.”
You laugh, despite yourself.
And for now, that’s enough.
Because the dread is still there.
But so are you.
And so is Doug.
I crave something spicy with Dirk. Not Clarence, Dirk. Also maybe just some shit about Doug, Tony, Eddie & volt, cut & rod, etc
Personally, I find Dirk so much more appealing than Clarence.
Since Dirk is your literal dirty laundry, the man is nasty and freaky. If you are still wearing your underwear or you cum on your clothes, turn the glasses to Dirk and he looks like he's just been bukkaked (is that the past tense of bukakke?). Have you ever spilt food on your clothes and licked it off? That's probably the fastest way to get him to cum.
Doug has a foot fetish. Full stop.
Tony has a size kink, but he especially loves it if you let him measure you. He knows all his own measurements, he likes to measure himself for fun. So let him measure your hands, hips, chest and then let him chuckle and tell you how he compares. There's a mark on one of his measuring tapes at thirteen inches for some reason. He also always uses that measuring tape to measure from the start of your crotch to your stomach, then he mentally marks that thirteen inch mark.
Eddie and Volt will close up the club and pretend to show you off on stage, sexual style. They pretend to have a bdsm night or really anything your into that can have showman ship with it and put all the spotlights on you while Volt talks to the imaginary audience. Eddie will constantly switch between being an audience member, audience participant, and Volts assistant. All the while you are the center of attention.
Curt and Rod are surprisingly bad at fulfilling a degradation kink. They can make jokes and poke fun, but they can't just be straight up mean. No matter how much you tell them certain phrases don't hurt your feelings and in fact does the opposite, they just feel like they're going too far if they say any of the words you list you like. So if you have a degradation kink, they aren't your guys.
ooh boy. well, you know the rules for under the cut
Doug NSFW Headcanons
MEAN
we're talking full in charge, dirty talk, degredation, likes making you cry and beg
refuses to be submissive tbh
likes a little bit of push and pull if you decide to do so, but ultimately he's the one in charge
if you let him, is definitely into impact play
HEAVY on overstimulation and edging
pretty much anything that has you exactly where he wants you
likes manhandling
if you have any inkling towards liking his strength or size? he notices and abuses the hell out of it
brushing up against you to pin you against the counter to "grab something for you"
makes comments emphasizing his size
if you jump at him right away, he's not huge on aftercare tbh but the more you have a connection with him the softer he is afterwards
friends with benefits? he'll help you clean up and then either go his own way or watch videos on his phone next to you, occasionally leaning over to show you one that's interesting
actually dating? he brings water, a snack, all the extra stuff
is unironically one of the guys to call himself daddy yuck
if you wanna try something, he's down and it doesn't really matter what it is
this came to me in a dream. btw this is my first post on my laptop so if this looks bad its my bad bro.. sigh...
(In these, it's implied ur in a relationship already but they can be seen as platonic or pre-relationship)
characters: Hector, Doug, Reggie, Parker
Hector
he's REALLY good at project sekai.
one time he tried to play a game with Parker. Parker was eyeing him like a hawk every move he made and he didn't love the constant watching, so uh.. safe to say he didn't play with him again.
I think he unironically LOVES Laufey. like he's listened to every song.
i hc he listens every time your singing a song while doing ur own thing around the house, and he's just adoring your voice through the vents. also he's a firm believer that if you sung a song with deep meaning, then you're fcking shakespeare or something. he just adores you.
he really wants to be friends with all the other objects, but nobody wants to be around him because they think he's weird.
the only objects that are nice to him are Eddie and Volt when he comes to the Breaker Box for a strong drink. after he had to watch you bang another object from the vents.
oh if you ever sang one of those old love songs like 'Can't help falling in love" by Elvis, mf he's SMITTEN. like suddenly the room is so much hotter.
and if ur singing something with the word Valentino in it? oh yeah he's confident your singing about him. like YES sing Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy by Queen! he knows ur talking abt himmm (he's delusional at times)
he LOVES musicals. especially Epic. like dont get him started.
adores steven universe
Doug
LOVES ragebaiting people online. especially when they fall for it
y'know those people in tiktok comments who say "OMG i just came from the other pov" and then NEVER reply when people ask for the @? him.
actually fucking loves ayesha erotica but wont say that.
if u do ANYTHING he's there behind you saying shi like "Don't mess up" then u DO mess up and he laughs.
played fnaf and aced the whole thing without dying. he's VERY good at video games.
secretly plays animal crossing and has a cute island with Sherb on it.
hides your stuff and won't give it back until you ask nicely.
if ur dating, he intentionally puts stuff up high and then lifts you to reach it when you want to grab it. he just wants a reason to lift you
u have a fav plushie u keep on the bed? he's sending you videos of him punching it whenever your out. unless its teddy. teddy scares him
he eats the food you keep saved. Freddy has started refusing to let him in.
Regina Rejection
He laughs every time you fall, but is actually quick to help you up.
He's the one who helps you pick your outfits. he insists you trust him with your clothes and not Amir, Harper, Dirk, the Hanks or like.. anyone else.
if anyone talks shit about you, he's THERE. like a lawyer in court. except instead of being calm and all that he's yelling and throwing the most NASTY comebacks at them. he's ur number one defender.
makes fun of everybody. EVERYBODY. he doesn't give a fck how nice they are.
blasts Lady Gaga and Madonna every time he's in a room alone.
he LOVES cats. especially the mean and violent ones, and they somehow adore him.
wears nothing but heels.
if ur on a date and some loser calls out some insult at either of you, probably at him since he wears dresses and heels and people hate that for some reason, he always has the most deadly comeback that always leaves the one who yelled first silent. like yes stfu.
OH AND IF SOMEONE CATCALLS U? he's throwing whatever he can at them, it's probably a water bottle he has on him or a rock or sumthing. it WILL hit them in the face. after that que him laughing whilst walking away with u
hates most old people, except for the ones who shit-talk. he shit-talks with them.
if ur feeling insecure, he's PRESENT like you summoned him or something. he's always there to reassure you and build your confidence.
Parker Bradley
after he realized he scared Hector off when they played that game together, he almost begged you to move him to the living room or something to avoid the awkwardness of being right across from Hector.
like Doug, he'd incredible at video games.
plays overwatch. He mains Junkrat and might be the only person ever to be happy to lose. he's just excited to play games, especially with you. its when he sees someone with aimbot or something, then he gets mad. probably reports the person at least twice.
he loves smosh. LOVES it.
he plays dress up, and he's like fully into it.
will not touch a pickle. you can't make him. if u get mcdonalds or something and they put pickles on his burger, he's standing behind u angrily whilst you tell the cashier he asked for no pickles.
don't give him a lollipop, mf just chews it. but he'll ask for lollipops all the time. he likes how it breaks when he bites them.
he bites stuff a lot, you included, so his teeth are really strong.
take him to a carnival and he'll jump for joy. literally. he's forcing you to play every single game with him, and screaming like a girl on all the rides. he's happy tho.
same thing with arcades. if he sees someone climbing the game to just put the ball in to get more points, OH he's raging.
he will bite you btw. sorry, he just will. at least once.
fcking loves candy. he's chewing jolly ranchers tho, so maybe thats why Mitchell stopped giving it to him.
