#early draft

[wlf1221]

Alright i kept this close to my chest for too long. This is a very early version of the prologue of my Dune Awakening fanfic. Give it a read and some feedback in the comments. No title for now but give it a read. :) (also it gets very gay in later chapters I promise.) Big thanks to @foibles-fables for inspiring me to write this. I promise the yuri will be worth the wait.

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Vayla's breathing came in fast and steady as she ran away from the crashed 'thopter behind her. In her chest and underneath her feet she could feel the quaking and vibrations of the sandworm's approach. She continued running straight towards a nearby outcrop of rocks as the sound of the worm's approach filled her ears. Unbidden, deep from within her mind from a time that seemed like a lifetime ago, the bene gesserit littany against fear echoed in her mind. "Fear is the mind-killer" it said. Her breathing slowed to a steady pace as her mind and body worked in tandem to propel her further away from the impending threat. Before she realized it, she had made it to the outcrop. The worm seemed to stop its pursuit in front of her as she watched it. It almost seemed to consider her with unseen eyes and a gaping maw that smelled of Spice and fire. She heard a thumping emanating from the worms throat as it lowered its head and dove back beneath the sand.

[princesssarisa]

I recently read the original plot outline for Wicked the musical, which Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman drafted together in 1998 and which is on display at the Museum of Broadway in New York. The differences from the current musical are many and very interesting.

But one aspect was the same: the rewrite of the novel's ending to have Elphaba fake her death, Fiyero become the Scarecrow through Elphaba's magic, and the two of them leave Oz together.

I was surprised to see this. Somewhere I had read that in the musical's earliest workshops, Elphaba really did melt. But I guess whoever made that claim was misinformed, because this outline predates any workshops, yet Elphaba lives.

Since I read it, I've been thinking. At this early stage of the show's creation, Glinda's role was much smaller than it ultimately became. Kristin Chenoweth obviously hadn't been cast in the role yet; from all I've read, it was really only with her talent and charisma that Glinda was enhanced from a supporting character into the co-lead and the whole plot was retooled from just "the story of Elphaba" into "the story of Elphaba and Glinda's friendship." While the '98 outline doesn't revolve around Elphaba's relationship with any one person, I will say that in this early concept of the show, her most important relationship is her romance with Fiyero. (Although her relationships with Nessarose and Dr. Dillamond also get more stage time, which was reduced in favor of more Glinda time in the final script.)

This makes sense of what I've read elsewhere, that "As Long As You're Mine" was the first song Stephen Schwartz wrote for the show. The outline suggests titles for several of the songs, but "As Long As You're Mine" is the only song that already has its final title, and the show's finale was originally going to be an "As Long As You're Mine" reprise. The whole show was more Fiyeraba-centric.

(Just for the heck of it, I'd like to hear some fans record a rearrangement of the finale replacing the "For Good" reprise with "As Long As Your Mine," just to hear how it sounds intertwined with "No One Mourns the Wicked" – or rather, with "No One Loves the Wicked," as that song is called in the outline – and create a sense of what this different finale might have sounded like.)

I'm always interested in subtle inconsistencies (or what some people think are inconsistencies) within works of fiction, and looking at possible explanations for them (multiple writers, multiple drafts that changed the story, etc.) I've been thinking of how a certain subset of Wicked fans find Elphaba's ending to be frustrating and unsatisfying. Even knowing that it's supposed to be bittersweet, how can she choose to leave in the end with a man whose relationship with her has been so much less important and less emphasized than her bond with Glinda, without even letting Glinda know she's alive?

Personally, I've never had a problem with the ending, and I think Elphaba can genuinely love and be happy with Fiyero without diminishing what she shares with Glinda in the least. But for anyone who does dislike it, I think it's valid to point out that it was conceived for a very different version of the musical. One where Elphaba's romance with Fiyero was more central and her friendship with Glinda less so. If you think it doesn't quite fit with the current Elphie-and-Glinda centric musical, it makes sense to feel that way.

[110789angle]

Hotel Transylvania 1 Mavis meets Gerald Fenwick (Johnny) early storyboar...

Everyone likes this character named Gerald. If anyone can draw with a great story. That would be great. It is still Mavis and Gerald as a couple.

[elizaellwrites]

A new story I'm working on. As of now, it is unnamed, and I have no idea how long it will be, but I will likely update it sporadically.

It is inspired by a true story from history, but it is its own tale. Let me know what you think!

Draft 1

Adelaide gripped her fingers together as she gazed out of the thin window. Sunshine slashed across her grave face, her hazel eyes furrowed in thought. She turned to look at her desk, the letter she had written abandoned, but the words it carried still burned into her memory, along with the images they described.

Should she publish it, her husband's reputation would turn to dust. Should she not, she would be subjected to his continued depravity and humiliation for the rest of her life.

What would he do to her if she were to publicize his activities? He would not simply keep her as his queen, nor would she consider herself safe. It wasn't as if she were in a situation where she would have support if he did take action against her. After all, this was his country. She was but a guest in his house, tasked with the duty of providing him with a male heir. Her true home was far away.

She was but a woman here, below her husband or any male. In her marriage, she had lost the right to own property or decide actions for herself; she was reduced to a decoration, a tool. It was a sacrifice that an alliance between their two countries could not fully justify. Women's words were taken the same as a child's. Would the people of Isvanai even listen to what she had to say about their king?

She turned back to the window, staring out at the silhouettes of the buildings that surrounded their castle. She watched as the figures of the guards paced along the wall-walks, armed and ready for any threat. They did little to make her feel safe. After all, she was a prisoner in everything but name.

Adelaide had no chance to get past them. No way to escape.

She let out a shaky breath and walked slowly to her desk. She lifted the letter, reading it over one more time, before bringing the parchment to her candle. She watched as the flames licked its edges, the parchment slowly blackening, curling under the heat. Her hand trembled as she moved down the page, feeling the heat against her skin. Once the flames had a hold, she dropped it onto a flat plate, watching it burn.

Now was not the time, but someday.

[tacticaljorts]

this is for @winter-19 specifically

[razzberryslushie]

Was Kinda bored and with going off the last post thought i would post this!! I would like to make clear this is the INCREDIBLY EARLY version of this scene and it has been changed with higher quality images and editing so this will not be are final draft (this isn't even a finished thing)

"hey Razzy what the hells this why are you showing this to us" .....SUPRISE WERE MAKEIN A FANDUB!! and by We i mean me and my hooligan friends!! the opening scene is almost complete!! For people who are unaware this whole project is being edited by my lonesome and voice acted by a bunch of bored teenagers so its not supposed to be super high quality were not takeing arselfs to seriously, and i think that's pretty ok for this part with the humor. (also this whole thing has been in the works for a few months now just hasten been completed because of being in school) THINGS WE ARE TAKEING SERIOUSLY is definitely this opening scene their will NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER be any jokes regarding what happens to Dragona here (their is 1 joke during the dua lipa part but that refers to the voice actors more). as someone who went through a similar experience i refuse to treat that as some kind of joke or mockery and their will be time stamps when we upload it on when to skip for vulnerable people. But yea case and point IM MAKIN A FANDUB and I'm really excited!! as were almost complete with are opener and yk maybe if this goes good we will do a jojolion one (AND REST ASSURED I SHALL BE VOICING MITSUBA AND U CAN FIGHT ME ON THAT) If you would like to see are newer draft maybe ill upload some teaser snipits we will see <3 (hopefully i wont be bullied off the internet for this and we pray)

[tprings-hair]

finding an early draft of the script for plato's stepchildren is making me insane.

there's a few cut lines in this scene that I find very interesting. the confirmation that kirk was in fact forced to beat himself unconscious in the commercial break and is only regaining consciousness now. the implication that he and spock have been communicating somehow in a way the audience doesn't see. spock's "I've been thinking of nothing else" is so brutal -- he can't allow himself to act on anyone's terms but his own. I always felt it was another kind of indignity for the platonians to treat them like dress-up dolls, and I like the choice here to draw attention to it in the script.

I am fascinated by the crossed out paragraph. who edited this? why is it such an absolute no to see them patching up their injuries?

interesting that the women should "enter" rather than beam in. and very interesting that scotty should come too! he gets paired with uhura in the later performance scene, while the character of yeoman lennox is paired with kirk. my dad always told me there was a fandom rumour that spock was the one who was supposed to kiss uhura but shatner wanted more screen time and took the scene himself, so it's very interesting to me that it's scotty here. notably, scotty and uhura don't kiss in this scene. they sit together and he scratches her back, which is an odd choice to substitute a kiss, but I guess they were trying to play it safe for censors at first.

and I don't remember the kironide affecting spock in the episode, but in this version, he, kirk, and scotty beat parmen together.

and in the end, they do show the crew beam alexander aboard! unfortunately he doesn't get to say anything because it jumps straight into another violation of consent, this time from chapel and scotty, whose name is crossed out and then changed to kirk. I honestly can't imagine any of them forcing spock and chapel to kiss after what they've all been through there, and I'm grateful to whoever drew that giant question mark over the whole scene and eventually cut it.

[arafainsilver]

Fun fact

Did you know that early 1940 drafts Arafain has been one of the names Tolkien used for Celeborn

§ Tar >> Aran >> Galdaran (TI:261,262)

§ Galathir = Galað-hîr ’tree-lord’ (TI:249)

§ Arafain (TI:256)

These are earlier names of Celeborn.

The first two forms must simply mean ’king’ – the former is most probably from the mentioned TAR- (VT45:17) or TĀ-, TAƷ- ’high, lofty, noble’ (compare also Tarkilmar), the latter is given under ƷAR-; thus the Lords of Lothlórien are Aran and Rhien ’King’ and ’Queen’.

Galdaran contains #gald-, obviously a contraction of GÁLAD- + aran ’king’, thus meaning *’tree-king’. Hence, the Lords are now Galdaran and Galdrien *’Tree-king’ and *’Tree-queen’. Although d becomes lenited in Noldorin after a vowel, as in galadh ’tree’, the medial combination -ld- is apparently allowed – cf. Galdor, later Gallor (GALA-, GÁLAD-).

Galathir is again self-explanatory with the indicated etymology, formed with galadh ’tree’ (GÁLAD-) and hîr ’master’ (KHER-).

And finally the last form should probably mean *’white king’ with the element ara- ’high, noble, royal’ (Silm.index), also S. ara *’king’, ar/ara/aran ’prefixes of excellence especially in royal names’ (PE17:147) and fain *’white’ (The Etymologies give just fein ’white’ under SPAN-, but compare for instance the variation in N. lhein, lhain ’free(d)’ (LEK-)).

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