Don't let your past define you.
You've been through hell, so have I. So has everybody. But you know what the difference is between you and others? They don't let it define their WHOLE lives.
Use your past experiences to guide you, but NOT define you. You can't let something that happened 5 years ago dictate what you do today. That's how you lose opportunities and get stuck in the same situation, but this time, you've created this horrible experience on your own. The people who did whatever to you, can't be blamed this time. You did it to yourself. And guess what? They are out there making bank and living their lives, completely uncaring about your existence, while you drown in your pathetic pity parties and do nothing with your life. DON'T LET THEM WIN AGAIN. Because that's what you're doing. They aren't even playing anymore but you're still letting their absences win in your own game EVERY TIME. That's insane.
Get the therapy, get the mentor, get whatever you need to, to work through the trauma, then get yourself back in gear.
Remember, your feelings are valid, but so is the fact that you mustn't let them control you.