#engineering anon

[lexisthename]

Lex? -EngineeringAnon

07 isn't here right now

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 8

aftermath anon, closeted anon (2?), engineering anon, intrusive thoughts anon, poetry anon

aftermath anon

I understand, I am sorry for asking. I cannot seek professional help rn, and my partner isn't willing to communicate much sadly. I guess I will try to manage myself, thank you though! Can I at least ask what your opinion is on me, like, a bad or rude person? I am sorry if I come off like that, my partner usually says that and I want you to know I didn't mean anything that could come off wrong! Thank you for answering, even though you won't listen to my main problem, the fact you answered makes me happy!

Hi! I mean I don't know you, but you haven't come off as bad or rude at all. I do want to say though...if you and your partner are having trouble communicating, I really don't think you should be doing things that require a lot of communication. It sounds like you have some things to work through first. Trust and open communication is important in a LOT of parts of a relationship, and it seems like that's what you need to be focusing on right now.

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closeted anon 2

hey cas, i think i'll be today's closeted anon??

how do i cope with a homophobic family?? like a few days ago i told my mother that i want to pursue fashion designing, and she sat me down and straight up lectured me for an hour or so about how the industry is so focused on the lgbtq community (which idrc about, they're all such beautiful people), and how she doesn't want me to mingle with such people. she sees homo/bisexuality as a mental disorder, and that's why im not even allowed to now discuss my career with her or my dad anymore, as she thinks i might be bi as well. which im pretty sure i am, but now i feel all suffocated because i'm not allowed to talk freely with my "family" anymore, all my sibling have been brought up this way too. i've been following your blog for a while and finally decided to tell you this, i'm sorry if it's a long yap but i've seen your previous asks and i thought you'd get this better than anybody else. thanks.

Hi! I can't tell if you're the same closeted anon who's written me in the past?

Anyway, the fact that your mom is relating a career choice to a sexuality is insane. One doesn't cause another, and that's so unfair of her. I'm so sorry she's not supporting you and her homophobia isn't okay at all. If you want to be a designer (whether you're bi or not) you absolutely should be!

I'm here if you ever want to talk more!

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Intrusive thoughts anon

I'm not saying this in a complaining way at all- I truly do not mind how long the ask was- but I didn't copy it here because I was nervous about word limit lol

I think it's okay that you didn't want to win! I understand why you feel that way and you shouldn't feel guilty about that.

As far as your friends...I mean, they can't control their parents, but they can control what they promise you. They need to stop making commitments they can't keep, and I completely agree with you that you need to stop expecting so much and putting in so much to the relationship. It sounds like they're not respecting you, so why respect them? I think your message was great, and I'm proud of you for communicating your needs respectfully.

For your family...I honestly think it's a really common thing for siblings to experience very different things from their parents. It's very frustrating and can really affect self-esteem and even drive siblings apart.

I know it probably doesn't mean much but I personally am glad you didn't listen to your intrusive thoughts.

Happy Ramadan! It started on the 28th, right? You're right, brookies are amazing.

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Engineering anon

and I will try to find it, I doubt so though. But, I practiced a lot with fake skin and I started with the places noone sees, like thighs mostly, so I don't think it will affect my possible future job yet, but I really wanna learn!

Thank you for advice!!! I don't mind using myself as canvas, but to make them hide easier, I usually don't make them on noticeable places, I still visit my family sometimes after all. And about the piercings, I didn't know that, I will ask my brother for a few aid things then! Though I know general first aid and how to take care of bleeding injuries etc, it shouldnt be that hard I guess? Thanks for answering-

No problem! I'm gonna be honest though, as much as I believe that everyone should have power over their own bodies, this really does make me anxious. I looked up all the dangers of self-piercing and self-tattooing and yeah. I'm not judging at all but I really think it's a risk.

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poetry anon

Hi!

Wow, the poem you sent me is...very relatable, and I think it's a great way to get those feelings out. I don't think it's dumb at all, it's really moving. I do have to ask though...is telling about that topic snitching, or is it helping someone who needs it?

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Btw I know firsthand that Harry is actually kinda masculine but in a toxic way. Hes… a ridiculously complex person. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all an act. He is and can be gentle and kind and caring which is what made it so trippy to see for me. He actually does enjoy the sequined outfits tho that’s not an act, cuz I know ppl think that’s all an act. It’s not, but he wouldn’t go out in public in those outfits for the same reason he wears them on stage: public reaction. Which honestly, fair. I never judged for that. He actually does care a lot about ppl with less than him and he does think quite deeply about his place in the world and he tries to be humble. I think my issue with him was how he can be such a guy especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Like he always needs to be a bit better than you, or the one protecting you, or being so annoyingly overprotective. Most of us have got two or more engineering degrees, and I think that always bothered him but he wasn’t like rude about it or anything. But I could tell he didn’t like it when I corrected stupid statements he made about ai being conscious and I try not to be a know it all but bro AI is linear algebra and calculus on steroids. I then tried to teach him derivatives which turned into a huge argument. Honestly this was probably messy of me but we had heard him say this ai conscious thing like multiple times before we went crazy and started doing calculus on the whiteboard of his studio. We being me and the other engineers so this won’t give away who we are. The man nearly cried. I don’t wanna say too much honestly this is gonna give away who I am but idc no way he sees this he actually rly hates social media. One of the other engineers in the studio told me about this blog. They knew Louis too, didn’t say how, I can make assumptions. They said they liked it better when he used to come around but he doesn’t come around anymore. But I didn’t know Louis that well I only saw him a couple times before he stopped coming around. I’ll just say it was clear who the man was in that relationship, and it wasn’t Louis. And I think they wanted it that way, honestly. I also think smtiems ‘manly’ men go overboard and try to overcompensate, it was very odd to watch, kinda sweet tho in its own way. I don’t think Harry’s a bad person, I rly think if he just got a college degree he’d be able to finally channel his intelligence cuz I do feel for him to some extent. He is smart but he has so many gaps in his knowledge bc of lack of schooling (in my opinion) and I think that’s what makes him act out more than anything. Anyway glad Louis got out i suppose. This blog is very entertaining

Serious question, did Harry ever understand Fourier transform? And what did he think about Maxwell’s equations? Did you show it to him in integral form or derivatives? Anyway, back to the Krebs cycle. Did he like the ATP conversion intracellular? If only we knew.

Sorry let me come back. I was too snarky, I apologize.

[jynzandtonic]

Idk if you remember me, but I'm the anon that told you about getting into the master's engineering program some time ago, and I just HAD to freak out to someone about this: There's this guy at my faculty that looks *exactly* like AD, only younger (we're talking Adam Sackler s3 vibes). He came into the building and I couldn't stop staring. Tall, broad, with a goatee and everything. The only thing is that this guy's hair was coarser, but still! I tried to get my friend to look, but by the time she got an eye on him, he had put on a facemask and apparently she doesn't even know who AD is? Smh. So here I am, telling YOU that a glitch in the matrix is studying engineering somewhere

ZOMG YES OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU AND I'M SO FUCKING THRILLED FOR YOU HOW ARE YOU HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING SO FAR?!?!

and.. um...

YOU FOUND A SACKLER DOPPELGANGER?! EX-FUCKIN-SCUSE ME?

Friend, if you don't chase this mans down, I have some WORDS for you.

Get after it.

[optomstudies]

I'm currently studying engineering and I can't seem to get myself to do the course work or Qs. I've tried change of scenery and all the other study tips but it hasn't been working? What could I do to clarify my goals? I've written them down lots of times. Some have suggested taking time off uni and working and maybe see if I like something else but I've always wanted to do this degree and unsure why I've just lost interest :/ Also you're blog is the best <3 It's helped me so much in the past!

Hey there! I am glad you’ve found my blog useful for your studies so far! :)  This is a really common experience of many university students.

The thing is that when you think about the degree that you’d like to do, you’re thinking big picture; you’re thinking about the type of subjects you have an interest in quite vaguely tbvh, and you’re picturing what type of job you’d like to have at the end of the day. 

But the truth is that the job you want at the end of the day actually requires a whole host of background knowledge. A lot of what you study is going to be something extremely specific; as you progress throughout high school, you go from basic sciences to substreams of chemistry, physics and biology. Then when you get to university, there’s like even more specific substreams of each, like analytical chem, organic chem, inorganic chem, physical chem and biochem. 

And the annoying thing about this increasing specificity is that it feels as if you don’t need to know it. It feels like you’re grinding through what seems to be very niche and very specific content that only has limited purposes. Think: soil mechanics when you want to work as an engineer for Sydney Water. Think: learning about sunglass tint safety requirements when you want to become a contact lens specialist. Think: panel data regression when you want to work at Deloitte. 

Not all of the knowledge will be what you need in your future job, but it may be needed for another fellow student in your degree. Most likely it will be needed for higher level courses. 

Honestly, you need to realise that the degree may not even that much more interesting, but you’re getting a degree in order to qualify for a very well-paid and hopefully rewarding job at the end of the day. You’re making excuses when at the end of the day, you just need to sit down and nut those questions out. You can try all the study tips, and 100% they do help, but without discipline, you can’t really get yourself to answer all the questions, no matter how many gummy bears you try to eat to motivate yourself. 

Studying is romanticised as well; people think that if you choose something that you like, studying will come naturally and that you’ll never find sitting down for an hour after each lecture writing study notes is tedious. That’s completely not true. It’s a grind, revising for exams is a grind, and university is a grind. It’s even boring sometimes. 

There’s times where you’ll learn interesting things that really ignite your passion, that’s a given, but a lot of times you just really need the discipline to actually do your homework. 

That’s definitely what it sounds like at the end of the day when you are saying that it’s a degree that you’ve always wanted to do. If you’ve tried all the ‘study hacks’ and all the ‘make studying easy!’ and ‘instant-motivation!’ tips and nothing works, you just need to go back to basics. Take breaks (important!), refresh yourself, and then sit down and do the work, and at the end of the day you’ll be proud of what you achieve. 

Of course, do be aware that sometimes it really is the fact that the degree is not what you want to be at the end of those years, and that changing degrees is always an option, though it should never be your first consideration. 

I hope that helps! Sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear, but sometimes we all need something that will just get us to do the work. Best of luck!

[lexisthename]

*I walk into the forest after a while, looking for Lex.* Lex!? Are you here Lex -Engineering anon

Hmm?

He looks at anon with a small smile

Yeah, I'm here! Sorry for that scare!

[lexisthename]

//I guess Atlas -EngineeringAnon

//Nope! Guess again! :P

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 6

pan romantic anon, @teasiswriter, will anon (new), suffocated anon (new), engineering anon (new)

Pan romantic anon,

...hey, so um

My country decided to bring a new law. That says people who doesn't dress appropriate might get 3 years of prison.

For example, if you are a female, you need to dress like one, and if you are a male you need to dress like one. If you dress like opposite gender that's considered lgbt and it's bad. Apperantly. Being gay isn't a crime yet, but it might be. And well, it's not allowed either. I can't get married to same gender for example.

And like, since our government doesn't believe in more than two genders and want us to dress normal and not like we are ill.

Being lgbt is an illness, for most people. Half, to be exact. But well, you can think of our country like america but worse. He won slightly, and um. I wanted, hoped, oneday I could be more masculine if I don't visit my family often but.

I guess not.

Hope I don't end up in prison. Time to buy a dress I guess. Hope they won't ban trousers for girls. They can't, at least in a few years. But am scared.

Just wanted to share, the law didn't get accepted yet.

I just, hoped, maybe I would be able to have a lavender marriage in the future and saying I am a girl but dressing masc. That was my future plan. Maybe having a lover. Dunno. I don't think I will move on from x.

Hi <3

That's an absolutely disgusting law, and I understand why you feel hopeless right now. I'm not telling you that you should break laws or put yourself in danger, but I do want to remind you of a few things:

We live in a time right now where change happens MUCH quicker than it did in the past. It used to take hundreds of years for changes to occur, but now things are moving at a much faster pace (sometimes in a good way, sometimes bad). This means that in your lifetime, your country could change in ways you can't even imagine right now.

In my country, racial segregation was only outlawed 60 years ago. Like...what? who knows what will happen in the next sixty years? I know it's hard to endure and be patient, but the likelihood that things will stay the same for the rest of your life is zero. Things will change, and our goal right now is to hold on until they do, and do our best to help them change <3

I'm here for you in any way I can be.

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@teasiswriter

AHAJSDKSOSNEDFGHFFFF

I made a BIG decision and decided to do a declamation contest for my school (I go in front of the whole school and recite Ancient Greek (or Latin, but I take Greek so I picked Greek instead) poetry or prose) and that’s on April 1st (yes yes April fools day) and I ALSO learned that my abusive friend is almost definitely coming to my new school (I saw his name on like, a list of names to write acceptance cards for (to welcome new students into the community) and the lady at the admissions office said that the names on that list are probably getting in), and revisit days are on that day (where middle schoolers revisit their schools they’re applying to) so there’s a likely chance that he’ll see me do my declamation in front of the whole school

And it’s kinda nerve-wracking, but… also kinda fun? Like, fun in the same way sky diving would be fun. Very close to danger yet you laugh anyways.

It’s kind of a motivation to do even better, y’know? He’ll see me get congratulated by my friends and do an awesome speech and it’ll show him that I got better. It’ll show him that I healed. It’ll show him that I’m okay now and he can’t hurt me anymore

And I know I shouldn’t be doing it for him (which im not), but it’s kind of a bonus? It’s kinda cool I guess? I dunno, I just kinda wanted to get this off my chest

Uhmmmm yeah! Have a great day!

Honestly I think that's a great way to look at it. Show him how awesome you are, you know? Show him that you've thrived and you can succeed. Because no matter how you do, the fact that you're doing amazing things like that shows you're smart and successful and moving past your past.

Let me know how it goes!

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Will anon

Hey!!!!!!

So background: Me and the person I will be talking about have had quite a rough history in terms of relationships and attraction.

Now main: There is this person, let’s say their name is Will. Me and Will have had rocky history involving them attempting to cheat with me. Basically, they had a crush on me while in a committed relationship, and attempted to get with me without leaving their ex.

We stopped talking for a long time after this, maybe three months. They had a boyfriend now and everything. Eventually, in the midst of an episode, I reached back out to be friends again. We talked for a minute before Will and I hung out with some mutual friends and they gave me this gift. It was these two temporary tattoos that said always, which is weirdly intimate for two people that stopped talking and are only just beginning to talk. Anyway, we’ve been texting for a long time at this point, and on Saturday Will invited me over to their house. At this point we had been posting blatantly obvious things about liking each other (I’m not really sure why I did it) and they broke up with their boyfriend the moment I got there. We were cracking gay jokes the whole time, until we eventually ended up kissing. It was a big things for me, since I don’t normally trust people like that due to trauma. We’ve still been talking everyday, but I’m slowly getting less and less sure. Like yes, we both flirt, but they seem to be in it a lot more, even calling me perfect and sending me a paragraph a few hours ago. I can’t tell if reaching out was the right thing to do, let alone kiss them.

I’m just very confused overall m.

Hi!

Okay so I don't think you need to regret reaching out to will or kissing them even if you choose not to take things further. You don't owe them anything, you know?

I DO think you need to take some time to work out (1) how you feel about will and (2) how you feel about their past actions. And you're allowed to take as much time to figure that out as you need! If will is pressuring out, you have every right to say no and take time. But again, you do not owe them ANYTHING just because you reached out.

I do think if you do choose to continue with them though, it might be a good idea to talk about your past. If they were willing to cheat once, they need to give you some pretty convincing arguments as to why they won't do it in the future. I don't think people are irredeemable, but this is a situation where remorse needs to be shown.

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suffocated anon (new)

hey cas!,

I wanted to vent to someone and I can't risk telling anyone irl without sounding crazy... I've been experiencing sudden hits of body dysmorphia or disphoria(idk the actual term to describe my experience....are they the same thing?) I hate parts of my body and how it looks, I've been feeling this way for a few years now and I'm not proud to say that I've developed some bad coping mechanisms (I don't follow those anymore, atleast I try not to)... But recently I started to feel like, I don't want to look like a girl...I am a girl and I don't want to BE a boy but sometimes I want to LOOK like one...does that make sense? Sometimes it just suffocated me to have long hair or wear dresses that...makes me look like a girl and when I say suffocates, I actually mean it suffocates me, like I can't breathe with all the things that I'm supposed to be...

I don't know the name for what I feel and it feels like I'm going crazy....I want to cut my hair because I think it would actually help me breathe but my mum is all about how bad it would be for a girl of young age (I'm about to turn 18-_-) to cut her growing hair...

I want to cry and I just...i just want someone to give me a hug and tell me they understand me...Because even I don't know what the fuck is up with me...

Anyways, I've been rambling too much...thank you for reading this❤️🌼

Hope you're doing well<3

Hi <3

I completely understand what you're saying and am sending you all the hugs.

My non-professional understanding of the difference between the two words is dysmorphia- seeing your body incorrectly. Like you think you're heavier than you are or uglier than you are. dysphoria- your body feels wrong, like it's not supposed to be how it is. But you are aware of the reality of your body.

This sounds like dysphoria (not a professional but yeah)

Honestly I think you're almost 18 and you should try some non-permanent things to see if that helps! Cut your hair, try some new clothes, experiment with pronouns if you want, etc. Hair grows back. But if your mom is making a bid deal of it, you can try googling how to style hair to make it look shorter, or pulling it back under a hat. Also, you can look up masculinizing makeup (contour is the best) or try (a positively-reviewed) binder.

With all this, the worst that can happen is you realize you ARE a girl and you were just mistaken. Which is completely okay! There's nothing wrong with questioning yourself! But maybe after trying these things, you'll learn something new about yourself!

_____________

engineering anon

Hi lovely!

Okay so I pierced my ears at home with the most unsafe way lol

No tbh I am not that dumb I actually made sure it was sanitized (took my doctor brother's supplies) and did it myself with a needle (my ears were pierced at a young age but it closed so I had to open it again, a little blood but no worries.) then I decided to get a new one, I need an actual machine bc even though the first two were great I still don't want to deal with a possibility of injection. (And belly, nipples, nose, etc were harder I heard)

So I made my friend buy one for me (I gave the money) and now I have an actual thing to pierce and tattoo- and my first tattoo on myself were great as well, like, I am already an artist and spend a lot of time on fake skin before doing the actual thing

Anyway it's cool, my friend thought it was by jass -

(jass is a really cool tattoo artist we have, so fucking expensive though)

And I know what I did is wrong or not a good example or anything, i am just a broke student thanks, but, anyway, I just wanted to tell bc I was living with my parents at that time and had to cover up everything with makeup, and I never said anyone I did them by myself. Kinda wanted someone to know that. I can't explain why, just wanted to share it's my art and my doing and I did it without getting disowned (they didn't notice I was careful) and idk.

I obviously know it's a bad thing and bad example and not something to be proud of, but like. My rebellion was that and sometimes you want your actions to be known even if they are bad , if it means something to you.

And sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.

I am studying engineering but my hope is to go to a first world country and be a tattoo artist or a piercer or something like that maybe? Or am I too irresponsible for that lol

Anyway, bye

Hi!

Honestly, I think wanting to become a tattoo artist/piercer is amazing, and I am so tempted to study tattooing myself. I also am happy you're so proud of your rebellion lol

I do have some very gentle advice though

remember that piercers and tattoo artists (as well as many other people who work in similar fields) can attract or repel clients with how they look. I'm not saying like...if you're pretty or not. But if you attempt a tattoo on yourself and it goes poorly, that could affect being able to book a client in the future.

To go along with that, infection isn't the only risk with self-piercing/tattooing. With piercing, you could risk hitting major arteries and losing a lot of blood (I heard that the lip piercing, for example, can carry this risk if done incorrectly. Both can risk scarring, ink/jewelry rejection, and transmission of diseases.

Are you able to, instead, look for an apprenticeship in the area? Or even see if you can work at the front desk of a piercing/tattoo place? This way you can learn basic safety procedures and possibly learn more advanced techniques as well.

I hope you understand I'm not trying to discourage you, but I worry about the risks, especially if this is still new to you.