Penelope: I raised a sweet, gentle, loving child who knows how to defend himself but will always give others a chance before harming them and knows that violence is a last resort.
Penelope: *nocks an arrow* Fortunately for him, my parents can't say the same thing.
cross my thoughtless heart (or: penelope and athena have a long overdue talk)
ao3 buy me a coffee
Telemachus’ balcony overlooks the Queen’s.
A slight breeze ruffles Athena’s feathers as she perches on the ledge, carrying the salt spray from the sea. Meters below, Penelope sits on her own, sipping tea while sorting through yet another pile of letters. Her face is hidden, both by her hair and the distance, but it doesn’t matter. Her grief rolls off of her like waves, the pressure on her shoulders is tangible. To anyone else, she appears as she always has, Ithaca’s unbreakable Queen. Certainly, it’s how the suitors see her, and Athena can tell there’s something about the challenge that they relish.
The only two who are not fooled sit right above her. Her, because she can see through even the most cunning of mortals. And Telemachus, because he knows his mother’s heart as well as his own.
The Queen shifts and tilts her head, squinting against the sun. In that moment, Athena feels the strangest sensation of someone seeing right through her, defenses and glamours falling away like dust. Her instincts tell her to run but something stronger keeps her in place, something unspoken hanging between her and the Queen.
Thankfully, Telemachus breaks the silence.
“Athena! I think I’ve got it.”
With a heavy wrench, Athena jumps from the ledge, takes her other form and slips back into Telemachus’ room. He’s sitting on his bed, crumpled pages littering the floor around him and a half-finished sandwich on a plate beside him. His grin widens as she enters and before she can ask what’s happened he sits up on his knees, sketchbook brandished like a trophy.
“I think something like this.” He points to what he’s drawn; a long spear with a pointed arrowhead on either side. The blades have a curve on one edge and are serrated along another, and about a quarter of the way down either way he’s added some cross-hatching to the body. The tips curve in an almost wicked fashion; Athena can see the gleam of it in her mind. It would be fearsome.
“What do you think?”
“I think it’s a fine-looking weapon,” she says. “You’re good with spears.” She tilts her head. “What’s the cross-hatch?”
“I want some stronger grip on it. Just in case.” She nods, though it’s not the detail she’s interested in. She runs her finger along the body of the spear and back, tracing a path between the two blades.
“And, why two?”
Telemachus’ eyes darken. His gaze moves to the door, and he tightens his grip on the page.
“I need to take on whole groups of them,” he says flatly. Athena just nods.
This is the warrior she wanted. Logical and practical, only focussed on the mission ahead. This is what she would have molded Odysseus into if he wasn’t so damn…. Odysseus. The image before her should fill her with pride, instead all she feels is fear.
Tenderly, she takes the page from him. Her free hand goes behind him. She stops just short of stroking his hair.
“A wise choice,” she says. Thankfully, Telemachus blushes and Athena lets herself breathe. He shifts to his knees as she tucks the page into her belt, keen eyes watching her intently.
“I should be back soon,” she tells him.
“Where are you going?” he asks. “Also I need my drawing back. The blacksmith-”
“You think I’m trusting some mortal blacksmith with your weapon?” she asks. Telemachus’ mouth falls open, a protest ready on his lips, but she shakes her head. “Hephaestus owes me a favour. I won’t be long. In the meantime, keep training with your normal spear. I want that lunge perfected by the time I return.”
Telemachus’ hand covers his mouth. His eyes are blown wide, wider than the sky and sea and everything in between. A small spike of panic emerges inside her, and Athena worries if she’s finally pushed the boy too far.
Do mortals really ‘die of shock’ or is that an expression?
“Oh…. My…. Gods,” he gasps. He pulls his hand away from his mouth and there Athena sees what could be the biggest smile in the history of man. “Hephaestus is going to make my spear?”
It’s with a bittersweet pang she realises how much he looks like Odysseus did before she ruined it all.
When he jumps off the bed and rushes to her, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
At least, this time, she allows herself to smile back.
“Is he making it in his forge?”
“Of course.”
“In Olympus?”
“Yes. That’s where his forge is.”
“What’s he going to make it out of? Is it going to have powers? Will there be a mark on it? Oh!” He skirts around and throws himself in front of her, so much rigour that he nearly knocks himself and Athena to the ground. “Let me come with you!”
She blinks.
“What?”
“Let me come with you. To Olympus.”
“Out of the question.”
“Please,” he asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “It’s my spear, I should get to see it made. What if I need to give him a suggestion?”
“Then he’ll throw a hammer at you.”
“Please, I’ll stick with you the whole time and people won’t even notice I’m there, I just-”
“Telemachus.” Telemachus stops, frozen by the severity of her voice. It’s good to see she still has it, she supposes. Slowly, he lowers himself down from his tiptoes, face twisted into a bashful expression.
“I got too excited. Didn’t I?”
Like father, like son Athena thinks fondly and she squeezes his shoulder.
“It’s okay. It isn’t about you. It’s just… Things up there are complicated right now.” As if they’re ever not complicated. “My uncle is mad at someone, my father and step-mother are mad at each other again. My siblings are driving me up the wall.” She sighs, already exhausted just thinking about it. It’s not just for Telemachus that she’s spending more and more time in Ithaca. Despite everything, there’s a calmness and affection in the palace she could never find in Olympus. “I don’t want to risk you being caught in the middle.”
Telemachus deflates, his eyes cast to the floor. It doesn’t suit him, the light he embodies should never be dimmed.
“Hey.” She takes him by the chin and gives a gentle smile. “One day we’ll go to Olympus together. Right now, your mother needs you here.” She pauses, a small lump in her throat. “So does your father. Wherever he is.”
Telemachus’ eyes glimmer. He puffs out his chest and rises his shoulders.
“You’ll be back soon, right?”
“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” She releases his chin and steps back. “Until then, take care of your mother and work on that lunge.”
“Yes ma’am.” He gives her a two-fingered salute that draws a laugh out of her. She gives him one back and slips out of the room, Tel’s design tucked safely into her belt. Hephestus will put up a fight, no doubt, but he does owe her one and he’ll enjoy himself. And once Telemachus gets it in his hands, he might just change the world.
Perhaps all three of them will. Together.
In her almost giddy state, she rounds the corner and then immediately halts. Penelope is standing there; her steady gaze shows this is no chance meeting. Her jaw set in a way that takes Athena back to the battlefield.
At first, all they can do is look at each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move. The feeling from the balcony returns, the complete and total vulnerability beneath her gaze. Perhaps it’s her own fault; she spent so long trying to avoid Penelope. It was only a matter of time before she caught her.
Stuck, Athena does the only thing she can do with a Queen; she presses her fist to her chest and bows.
“My lady.”
In return, Penelope drops to one knee and bows her head.
“Goddess Athena.”
“No, please.” Athena waves her hand, tries to smile through the spike of discomfort. “There’s no need for such things."
The Queen nods. She rises slowly, gracefully, in a way that would make Hera feel common. Perfectly poised, perfectly still. The one thing that betrays her is the way she pulls at her fingers, anxiety evident in her touch. Athena wonders if the reverse is true; if she sees the guilt she carries every day and if it shows in her stance.
“I hear from my son you’re training him now,” she says.
“Yes.” She nods once, a sharp, quick movement, and almost rushes towards her. “Yes and he is amazing, my lady. Truly. I am on my way to forge a weapon from Olympus. I believe he will change the world.”
Penelope sighs.
“To be honest, I didn’t know what to make of it when he told me,” she says. She pulls at her armband, her lips pressed into a thin line. Dark curls fall in front of her face as she looks up. “He keeps saying you’re his friend. He’ll tell anyone who will listen.”
Athena exhales, slowly, a genuine smile tugging on her lips. The word ‘friend’ slips beneath her skin, touches a part of her heart she thought she discarded centuries ago.
“He is my friend,” she tells her.
“He is also my son,” Penelope says. Her breath hitches and she runs her nails down her bare arm. The hair on Athena’s neck rises, despite the clear sky outside.
Shame opens in her chest and pulls her soul inwards.
“I know, my lady.”
Penelope swallows, the composure on her face slipping as she changes from Queen to mother.
“Telemachus is barely more than a child,” she whispers. Penelope twists the ring on her right finger, at the same time Athena’s gut moves in a similar way. “I have lost enough time with my husband. If anything happened to Telemachusl-”
“It won’t.” Athena closes the distance between them and takes Penelope by the arms, her eyes locked onto hers. She has taken this stance many times, fighting with Ares, fighting with other gods. This time feels more charged than any of those. “I swear to you, my lady. As long as he is under my protection, no harm will come to that boy.”
“He trusts you.”
“Yes.” Penelope gasps, and a single tear runs down her cheek. She presses her fist into her hand, cheeks flushed red.
“My husband trusted you as well.”
Athena’s voice cracks.
“Yes.”
Reeling from the blow, Athena releases Penelope and stumbles backwards. Penelope shakes out her arms, touches where Athena’s hands had been. There is no visible mark, but still. Athena looks down at her own hands, rough from this mornings’ training with Telemachus. He had high-fived her and she obliged without a thought. When he fell, he reached for her and without hesitation, she caught him.
She still sees it in her mind, Odysseus on the ground below, watching as she ran to Olympus. With each step, she waited for him to reach out, to admit she was right and ask her to stay. When he didn’t, she closed the door and told herself it was for the best.
Selfish, prideful, vain. It took her a decade to realise it, but he knew her better than she knew herself. Goddess of wisdom, bested by a family of mortals.
Across from her, Penelope gathers herself. She pushes her hair from her eyes and inhales, the tear track glistening on her cheek.
“Forgive me, Athena. I spoke out of turn.”
Athena shakes her head, a sad laugh bubbling out of her.
“No. You didn’t.”
Penelope’s eyes widen, her mouth falls open for a fraction of a moment before she gathers herself. Her eyes gleam as she takes a step towards her, quiet rage lurking in the depths.
“If we’re being honest with one another,” she begins. “How can I trust you now, Athena? I don’t know what happened between you and my husband, but how do I know it won’t repeat itself with my son?”
How, indeed? A million promises come to her, contracts and pledges, rituals of binding between herself and Telemachus. None of them matter and none of them feel real. They are all Olympian in nature. There is only one thing she can say and it might not mean anything, but it might be what saves them.
“I know better now, Your Majesty,” she says. Pride clogs her throat but she swallows it and adds, “I will not make the same mistake twice.”
Silence descends on them, seconds stretch into hours. Athena holds her breath, her hands pressed together in some sort of prayer. Who could she pray to?
Eventually, Penelope nods. Maybe it’s her Olympian upbringing, but Athena feels as if she just passed some kind of test.
“If it’s good enough for my son, it’s good enough for me,” she says. The corner of her mouth curls upwards and her eyes meet hers. She is not forgiven, she knows. But there is understanding there, a chance to salvage herself.
Athena could weep.
“I should return to my weaving,” Penelope says. “Thank you, Athena. For your patronage.” With a curt nod, she brushes past Athena and heads down the hall, hurried footsteps clicking off the marble floor.
“My lady?” Athena asks. Penelope turns, wringing her hands. Athena takes a breath and hopes the cold is her imagination. “How many guards are posted outside your rooms at any given point?”
Penelope gulps. Every time Athena sees the Queen, her fear is there, lurking beneath the exterior like a shark beneath the water. Telemachus has confided in her about how she sobs at night, when she thinks he can’t hear.
“No less than two. Sometimes more if a suitor stays the night.” She pulls on her bracelet again, a shadow passes over her face. “Telemachus has also started sleeping in my rooms.”
“I see.” Athena rolls her shoulders, flexes her hand. No matter her friendships with mortals, she is still a goddess of war. “I will visit each of your guards individually.”
“I appreciate that.”
“And what about your weapons?”
The Queen stiffens. Her eyes dart around, searching for hidden spies, and she slips closer to Athena. When she speaks, her voice is just about loud enough.
“My bow and quiver are beneath the floorboards. Two daggers in the nightstand and two more in my jewellery box.” She shivers and pulls her wrap tighter around herself. “I would prefer you didn’t tell Telemachus.”
“I understand,” she says. Penelope closes her eyes. As the late-morning sun streams through the window, Athena sees every line and curve mapped onto her face, the weight of the twenty years settling onto her. Twenty years as a lone Queen, a single mother, a girl and then a woman lying in an empty bed. Surviving on nothing but hope and spite.
Penelope might not have broken under the weight; that does not mean she can carry it forever. Nor should she.
Seeing her strength, Athena feels such complete awe that she is suddenly compelled to bow again. Instead, she steps back.
“I should go. I have business to take care of in Olympus.” Penelope hums, disappears down the hall as Athena steps onto the ledge. As she begins her ascent, a newfound strength surges through her; she carries all three of them with each step she takes. Hephaestus’ forge is just one step on her journey.
She has spent enough time running from her mistake. It’s time to pay her father a visit.
Yea so Ody is finally home and he’s with his wife and son. It’s all cool and fun. But hold on. Can you imagine how HORRIFYING Odysseus and his family must be to other Royals now?
Here is a king that fought monsters, witches, slaughtered most of the male Nobles in his kingdom. FOUGHT POSEIDON AND MADE HIM BEG FOR MERCY!
And worst of all, he is crazy smart. So negotiating or trying to make deals with Odysseus must be the most horrifying thing in existence at the time. You can’t threaten him, you can’t negotiate a better position than him, you can only just sit there and smile as you pray you don’t accidentally offend him.
Oh and that’s not all, If Penelope also dislikes you, you’re f***ed. Because Odysseus fought a war for 10 years over an oath. Imagine what he would do if someone tried something with his wife… OH WAIT, we don’t have to. He SLAUGHTERED them! And she might not even need him to.
She is from Sparta and by Odysseus own words JUST AS SMART AS HIM. The main reason she didn’t go out and fight those nobles/kick them out is because of the laws of hospitality (which are enforced by Zeus). But with her god piercer husband, she doesn’t need to be so polite anymore. And she held the kingdom together for 20 years! She knows how to handle business. So yea, don’t mess with her either.
And his kid? He’s a warrior of the mind now! Who has the favor of ATHENA! WHO in a very short time learned how to fight. Going from losing a fist fight, to fighting dozens of men who only overwhelmed him because he got TIRED of kicking their asses! He has ATHENA on his side as his best friend. Dont even try
Point is The Ithaca royal family is a f***ing nightmare to deal with now.
Epic!Penelope: Okay, you have been beating yourself up over all your choices during your journey home. How about you tell me every choice you did and I will tell you if it was dumb or not.
Epic!Penelope: Well I don’t really see any mistakes there. The gods told you to do it and even explained how there were no alternatives. The only real mistake was not asking more about the cave. What else?
Epic!Odysseus: (explains the Cyclops saga)
Epic!Penelope: Okay, (thinking) so I don’t think you not killing the cyclops was dumb. It was blinded sure, but it killed several of your guys already. You would have risked more men to do it. You said it yourself, there were more cyclopses. Your first mistake was saying your real name. Your second was yelling at Athena.
Epic!Odysseus: That’s fair. (Storm Saga)
Epic!Penelope: And you didn’t know it was Eurylochus who opened it? I’d say that you didn’t make any mistakes. This was your crew being treasonous.
Epic!Odysseus: (explains Circe Saga)
Epic!Penelope: Aside from the risk of fighting Circe. You resisted her wiles. That’s bonus points for you if anything.
Epic!odysseus: (Explains Underworld saga)
Epic!Penelope: Yea that prophet was cryptic as the underworld itself. You should have made him clarify if possible.
Epic!Odysseus: (Explains Thunder Saga)
Epic!Penelope: Okay so sacrificing some men to Scylla sounds bad… but your mistake wasn’t ensuring Eurylochus was holding a torch. You could have avoided all of that if he wasn’t around. They also caused a mutiny. Your choice was justified.
Epic!Odysseus: It was still awful though… but that does make me feel a bit better. (Explains VENGEANCE Saga)
Epic!Penelope: No errors there. If anything. That’s bonus points. I want details on that last part later.
Epic!Odysseus: And you already know about the suitors. No regrets there. I just wish they suffered more.
Epic!Penelope: Well to be honest out of everything based on what you said. You really only made two mistakes. I would say the only other mistake was not letting Eurylochus tell you the truth earlier. But that’s more his fault.
Epic!Odysseus: It still haunts me
Epic!Penelope: Well, you won’t be haunted alone. (Holds his hand)
Are we gonna talk about how Penelope outsmarted the 108 suitors for YEARS. But also outsmarted Odysseus by pointing out the flaws in his own argument on how he is not who she fell in love with. Penelope endured for 20 years, never doubting, dedicated, keeping Ithaca together. She kept peace, and she also faced the monster Odysseus head on and said, “you are still in there and I love you still.”
