Jackets: Controversial: an Abecedarian
At last, I have decided to touch on this, my most heated opinion.
Beginning as far back as I can remember, this recurring problem has caused me unparalleled frustration.
Can I describe for you a scenario?
Dinner time has arrived once more, some evening in a winter of my childhood, and my family is preparing to head out the door to drive to a restaurant.
Even though I have donned my shoes and socks and am all ready to go, I am stopped by my mother.
"For crying outside, Gracie," she exclaims, "aren't you going to be cold?"
How could my young mind formulate a response that fully communicates my argument against her point?
I, of course, am not wearing a jacket, which my family sees as pure suicide.
Jacket's are, to me, for wearing when you are going to be outside for an extended period of time--not for putting on for two seconds to walk from my warm home to my warm car, where I will take it off until it is time to walk ten feet from the warm car to the warm restaurant, where I will once again take it off and have to babysit it and keep it from sliding off of the smooth booth seat and onto the filthy restaurant floor and try not to forget to take it with me when the meal is complete and it is time once again to depart the establishment and reverse the entire process once again, concluding the journey back at my centrally heated house.
Knowing all of this intrinsically does not help young me to articulate the silliness of the matter.
Like a good daughter, I go put on a jacket anyway.
My life has been riddled with these sorts of situations.
No one seems to ever be able to deal with the idea of me not wearing a jacket for the cumulative sixty seconds a day that I might be spending outside.
Of course I still wear appropriate garments if I'm going for a walk or someplace that might actually be cold, but I'm not going to bring an outer layer with me if I'm going to be wearing it for two minutes and carrying it around with me for an hour.
Perhaps you think I am being unreasonable.
Questioning my sanity even.
Really though, I bet more people agree with me than are willing to admit it.
Tell the pro-jacketers in your life that your wardrobe choices are aspirational.
"Um, you're supposed to dress for the job you want, not the job you have," you must say, "and I want to be inside."
Very likely they will roll their eyes and give up on trying to reason with you.
Wow, that means you've won the argument.
X-rated films show more skin than me, not that I consider that the bar, just sayin'.
Yes, I am cold sometimes, but I am always a form over function type of woman, and if the outfit doesn't call for a jacket, the weather doesn't call for a jacket.
Zip your cute crop top into that ugly Eddie Bauer shell and see if I care.
