Dear perspective submissive men,
Another day another man not worth my time in my inbox.
A guy messaged me on Fetlife a few days ago and I've been trying thus far to very politely tell him I'm NOT interested. Today I asked him if I could be honest how he's coming across and he said yes, so this is what I sent:
"It comes across like you're currently on here touching your dick and are trying to get me to talk about making content with you to help you fantasize.
You message a woman whom you've never met before, but have briefly chatted with on another app and that new conversation starts with you confirming that you put no effort or work into identifying yourself correctly (listed yourself as a dominant but claim to not be,) and expect her to take your word that you're not the thing she's not interested in. Which sounds like you're either lazy and unwilling to put in work to be perceived accurately OR you're lying to try to somehow still have access to her.
Then this woman you're messaging says that she's on hiatus from interacting with new folks due to serious stuff going on in her life.
You then proceed to say you're new and nervous, which isn't a big selling point either for someone as experienced as I am. It sounds like work, emotional labor, and likely wasted work when you at some point can't deal with the big shifts in your life and identity that come from accepting yourself as a kinky pervert so you bail and go back to being vanilla because it's safer and easier. This woman tells you that you being new isn't attractive to her and unless you're looking for mentorship, she's essentially not interested.
This woman suggests that you get out into the community in real life, meet other kinky people, take some classes, put in ANY work at all to bring you along your way in this self discovery, and you don't engage with that idea at all.
Despite these things a few messages later you still bring a desire to "make content" with her.
It sounds like you're looking for a woman to do all the work, give you access to her body and skills (photography, videography, years of BDSM education and experience, etc.) while you bringing not much more to the table than your dick. I have access to those I don't need more.
Why oh why would a woman put herself in that situation? Especially for a man who couldn't take a moment to look up what her abdomen is, or to really consider what role you'd like to take in BDSM and actually spending some time filling out your profile throughly and accurately. You sound like every vanilla dude on here who dreams of a woman being their BDSM Fairy Godmother. I don't do labor for men I'm not in deeply loving, committed reciprocal relationships with, men do labor for me.
I'll give you that this is likely one of your first times interacting with a lifestyle dominant, but what makes you think it would take any less than sweeping me off my feet for me to be interested? If I wanted to do that much labor, I'd be charging you for it. If you're not looking to hire a dominatrix, start putting in some actual work, and if you're just here to fantasize, do that and leave non consensual partners out of it."
izzy806
titsay
theartofmadeline
discoholicmusic
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
gummygunk
janainaart
