8th July 2018: Zoey goes to Pride! 🏳️🌈
I’ve never been to Pride before. Nor had my friend, but the night before, she sent me a message asking if we should go. I had my doubts: crowds tend to trigger my Dysphoria. But I also really wanted to go. As ever @deadlyredlupa came to my rescue and convinced me I should go.
So yesterday, I went and here’s what I learned
1. Pride is awesome!
We had so much fun! As a pair of complete Pride noobies, we found a space to watch the parade go by. The atmosphere was so amazingly positive, and loving and happy. I’ve not experienced anything like it in the UK before, and it reminded me of the Zurich StreetParade dance music festival that I used to go to.
The energy both in the parade and the crowds watching was infectious - I loved it!
2. There really is a space for everyone
We arrived a little late and missed many of the community groups (why are there so many corporate floats?), but still, in the few hours we were there we saw people from every walk of life and so many different identities all sharing the space and the party.
We got off to a great start when the first groups we saw when we arrived were two Pup Walk groups. I was aware of this, but didn’t know much about it, but it was hilarious to see to look of confusion, and then acceptance, cross over my friends face as she saw pups for the first time!
That sense of inclusivity is huge. And amazing. And so important. It gives me hope that society will continue to knock down the walls of stigmatisation.
3. I learned something about my identity
I wanted to go to Pride to learn something about myself: how do I feel about my identity within the broader community?
I’ll be honest, since I’ve learned more about my gender incongruity, I’ve struggled with why trans, which for me is very separate from my sexuality, shares a space in LGBT+ which is primarily to do with different sexual identities.
But I get it: I saw people on the trans spectrum who really do link their gender to their sexuality, and that’s amazing. I also saw plenty of people who clearly value the sense of community it brings. And I also see the benefit from a Trans Rights perspective of teaming up with other stigmatised people.
But for me personally it reinforced something: when I transition, I just want to pass. I want to blend in. For me, out of everything I saw yesterday, my identity still feels closest to all the cis-women I saw, and hopefully all the trans women I saw but couldn’t identify as trans because they pass so well.
Some may say I’m reinforcing binary gender roles. I’m not sure that’s true, I guess it depends on your view on how repressed women are in modern society. But if I’ve learned one thing on this journey so far, it’s that I need to be true to myself.
Until next year... Pride - it’s been a blast
Zoey x
