#exobinary

[alibinary]

Here's another statement trying to explain what the alibinary system is and isn't for:

The alibinary system - viabinary, mesobinary, ideobinary and exobinary - is meant to be a set of self-applied labels describing one's relationship with the woman/man binary in a more specific way than the word nonbinary does.

These words, therefore, should not be extrapolated to mean:

Relationships to any genders (for instance, viabinary isn't meant to be used to describe being close to maverique or neuangi; there are words such as paragender available for that instead)

Someone's gender identity, presentation or alignment (for instance, someone can be an exobinary juxera or a viabinary agender person)

Any specific subset of nonbinary gender identities (for instance, nonvir isn't inherently an ideobinary identity, because the reasons one may identify as nonvir may differ from person to person and some might identify with exobinary or viabinary rather than ideobinary)

I know about fiagender/miagender/niagender/etc. being based on the word viabinary. That's fine! Because, as I said on another post, those can be separated from the idea of trying to claim these experiences as inherently viabinary.

I also understand the impulse of trying to categorize every label in accurate ways and thus conclude there are certain gender identities that always correspond to any specific label under the alibinary system, but a lot of nonbinary people don't go for the most accurate labels they can. A lot of people use "demigirl" to mean "feminine nonbinary person" or "masc agender" to mean "genderless person who doesn't like being gendered but who doesn't want to call out being constantly misgendered as a man and who prefers that over being misgendered as a woman".

For those of us who live in exorsexist societies, there's value in being able to tell "I'm nonbinary and I relate to a binary gender", "I'm nonbinary and I relate to both binary genders more or less equally", "I'm nonbinary and I don't relate to binary genders, but my identity is dependent on the idea of binary genders somehow" and/or "I'm nonbinary and I'm completely outside of the binary". All of those terms were conceived because of intracommunity discussions leaving folks feel erased.

There is also value in being able to say "my gender identity is based on this one nonbinary gender, but is distinct from it" in different, nuanced ways, just like there is value in being able to specify any sort of gender identity, but this isn't really what the alibinary system is meant to cover.

[your-rutherfurr]

BINARY APATHETIC

An alternative label to "Abinary"

It's when you're COMPLETELY removed from the experience of any binary gender, so much so you feel complete apathy for the binary. This label describes a gender experience completely different and unique from people's perception of the binary and nonbinary, it's apathetic to the experience of male, female, girl, boy, man, woman, androgyny or anything inbetween or together. It's almost, mystical...

You can still be a boy or girl or any label that comes from the binary but by using thus label you are saying your experience is entirely removed from the binary if that makes sense, it's purely abinary and apathetic to the standard experience of those genders.

This can still work if you are multigender and a part of your gender is completely out of the idea and experience of the binary

[nonvirminas]

my gender experience as a lichtgender nonvirmina

Being a nonvirmina means I consider my gender identity deeply related to both femininity and masculinity, even though it's completely separate from woman and man.

In my case, this manifests when it comes to gender roles or presentation aspects that "feel right", especially when it comes to projecting myself in characters or situations, while I reject the idea of being a woman or a man because being categorized as either (or both, or in between) would make me very dysphoric. At times, my desire to express femininity and masculinity clashes, as certain aspects of these qualities are felt as incompatible with each other.

But while nonvirmina describes part of my gender experience, at some point I felt some kind of emptiness only describing my gender as such. Sure, it is feminine and masculine and not binary, but what else is there to it? Others use nonera/nonvir/nonvirmina to describe aspects of other genders, and, over time, I found myself identifying with that notion as well.

This is where being lichtgender comes in. This gender is defined as being better described as a big ball of light. And not only this felt like an accurate way to describe my gender when I reflected on how it looked like, it's also a very good metaphor for my nonbinary identity in general.

I am very much neither a woman nor a man. And, unlike some other nonbinary folks, this is very relevant to me: I don't want to settle down for nongendered wording when binary folks get to have their genders affirmed, I'm not comfortable being in women's or men's spaces beyond safety or misgendering issues, I don't want my pronouns to be the default ones for hypothetical people or mixed groups.

However, because of the connection I have with both masculinity and femininity, vocabulary such as aporagender or neutrois ends up being alienating to me: sure, these are labels that can be used by anyone with a gender that is neither woman nor man, but I feel like their intent wasn't to include any sort of connections to those genders.

Is my gender neutral? I'm not sure. My gender is aggressively not binary, but, at the same time, it's like it doesn't have many other particular qualities, and it's feminine and masculine as well, which can be kind of considered some sort of neutral state between various aspects. I only consider myself to have a single gender with multiple aspects to it as well, instead of a polygender person with a feminine gender, a masculine gender and a completely abinary gender.

Lichtgender, however, makes me able to express my gender in an inherently nonbinary way without having to commit to describing it as neutral or not neutral, or as aporine or not aporine, and so on. This is an advantage I don't see being explicitly talked about when it comes to being xenogender: it's not only about being able to talk about aspects of gender beyond the binary and proximity or opposition to it, but also about not having to position a gender or gender identity as possessing or not possessing one of those aspects.

I wouldn't be opposed to joining a community for censaris (people comfortable within the gender neutral spectrum with strong connections to both femininity and masculinity), if there was an existing one out there, for instance: it's definitely a closer experience to mine than, say, genderfluid or agender experiences. However, when it comes to communities more specific than nonbinary ones, the ones that are usually available to me end up being xenogender communities.

I coined the alibinary system (also at @alibinary) partly in response to the midbinary/abinary split, which doesn't acknowledge the differences between folks aligned to one part of the woman/man gender binary, folks who have connections to both sides of the gender binary and folks whose identities are related to binary genders but still not binary (not just many nonvirs/noneras/nonvirminas/nonangis, but also many antiwomen/antimen/antiandrogynes).

I consider myself ideobinary (my gender wouldn't be able to exist as such without women and men existing, but at the same time it is separate from those categories and should be acknowledged as such) and exobinary (I am neither a man nor a woman and feel uncomfortable with the idea that every part of my identity calls back to binary genders or aspects of those genders in some way). I think ideobinary may be a good fit for a fair amount of folks who fit into the subject of this blog, but, of course, each person knows best about whether their identities fit into any term or not.

[isobug]

Exoangi

"An androgynous/androgyne exobinary identity; an androgyne/androgynous gendered folk relating to having experiences of genders that are completely outside of or independent of the binary.

(example experiences can include: nymangis, some interpretations of epicene gender identity, frannchlens, people who have multigenders/centrigenders of androgynous genders and abinary genders, etc)"

A flag requested by @epiceneandroid, who also defined the term for me, made by combining my Exobinary flag ( used for eyestrain reasons ) and this Androgyne flag. Free to use by anyone anywhere as always!

Taglist - @radiomogai, @revenant-coining

[your-bigender-big-brother]

can I have an exobinary libramasc flag?

Is there an exobinary flag you'd feel most comfortable with me using for this?

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Exomav Pride Flag

Exomav: exomaverique and/or exomaverine; exobinary maverique identity; abinary-spectral maveriquity/maveriqueness; exospec maverinity/abiaspec maveriquinity; maverine exobinarity and/or maverique exobinariness.

Exobinary is a term for non-binary people relating to having experiences of genders that are completely outside of or independent of the gender binary or anything related to it. It's similar to abinary.

[epochryphal]

resources centering exobinary folks

We’re live!

I am thrilled to unveil the website and 52-page, 72-tip booklet I have been working on!  Graphics and coding done fantastically by @khemi!

Endless flowing gratitude to the people who have looked the booklet over and offered feedback thus far - if you would like crediting, under whatever name, on the website or on I’m thinking the back page of the booklet, I would be more than happy to name you.

And more feedback is exceedingly welcome!  I started work on this months ago but it lay dormant for quite some time until the past week, when I rushed to completion and through several intense edits, so there are bound to be things that could use improving.  The website is still a bit sparse to start, too.

This is very much the first public draft, for my first workshop on the topic, and I expect to update it with feedback right away (and already have a few pieces that didn’t make my timecrunch because aaa) - so yes, your input will count!

I dearly hope this is useful to folks and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

[nbandproud]

would people disbelieving genders like maverique fall into... ideobinary or exobinary issues? a gender experience that is definitely Having Gender but neither masc/fem or man/woman

That model definitely has a lot of issues that may overlap. For instance, insisting that nonbinary people can only be respected as such if they are completely “androgynous” and don’t identify with femininity, masculinity, being a man or being a woman at all may affect both ideobinary people and viabinary people, and also affect exobinary people in a different way when they don’t want to be seen as “in-between”.

Maverique could easily be classified as an exobinary gender, imho; even if it is defined by “bouncing off” the binary, most issues faced by someone whose experience is independent of maleness or femaleness or masculinity or femininity at all, I would guess (I’m not maverique so feel free to correct me) the maverique experience would include:

People doubting maveriques exist or “not understanding how they can exist” because maverique is not defined as similar or as a parallel to a binary gender;

People not wanting to classify a maverique’s gender expression as maverique or maverique-like, because they only accept feminine/masculine/androgynous as gender expressions;

People not understanding how can a maverique have dysphoria, or how a maverique’s dysphoria can work, because they can only think of bodies as “male or close to male”, “female or close to female” or maybe in-between;

A bunch of stuff related to gender trinarism and hatred of newer/less common/harder to understand identities, which doesn’t fit the system because exobinary also includes agender or gender neutral people.

These are mostly exobinary, although some of these could also be applied to ideobinary people.

In the end, it depends on how you perceive your own gender experience.