#external processor

[pratchettquotes]

"You are smirking at me, Moist!"

No, I've frozen because I've just heard what my mouth said, Moist thought. I don't have a clue, I've just got some random thoughts. It's...

"It's about desert islands," he said. "And why this city isn't one."

"And that's it?"

Moist rubbed his forehead. "Miss Cripslock, Miss Cripslock...this morning I got up with nothing in mind but to seriously make headway with the paperwork and maybe lick the problem of that special 25p Cabbage Green stamp. You know, the one that'll grow into a cabbage if you plant it? How can you expect me to come up with a new fiscal initiative by teatime?"

"All right, but--"

"It'll take me at least until breakfast."

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

[kyrajanemontenegro]

People Don’t Miss Me

I am not a person whom people miss. Oh, they miss me when missing me is mentioned, they miss me in return, but I am not a person that people miss simply because I am missing. I miss people. I miss them at two pm when I’m in school, and at two am when I’m exhausted. I miss them loudly, often. But I miss them quietly, constantly. Sometimes I miss them while they sit by my side. Sometimes I miss the memories more than the people, but often I miss simply being with them by my side. I don’t know how to love in halves, or by parts. I love fully, and I don’t quite know how to stop when the person is gone. They are missing from me, and it seems only right to miss them for it. But I am not a person whom people miss. For really, what’s to miss? But then I think, maybe I am a person whom people miss, and they simply don’t think to say it.

[curiouschild]

Really great post on the difference between internal/external processing! In case anyone wanted to know which one they are/how both types of processors work!

https://clarityonfire.com/internal-or-external-processor/

Also, feel free to comment which one you are!

Are you an internal or external processor? - Clarity on Fire

The difference between internal and external processing: How to figure out what kind of processor you are and use it to better communicate w

[shieldmaiden19]

Why is writing so DIFFICULT?

I generate some words that start generating other words, and soon I’m writing pages and pages, getting ideas as I write down other ideas, watching the world assemble and character motivations materialize faster than I can put words to the page.

I get a first draft done. It’s messy and has more holes than Swiss cheese, but it’s mine and I am excited. It’s out there, it’s crap, but it’s a place to start from and re-writing can begin.

But my second draft isn’t even complete before I’m realizing how brittle the structure of the piece is. I’m doing three times the amount of work I need to in order to fill in timeline gaps and justify the world, and the voice I was using to tell the story isn’t adding anything to it. In fact, it’s detracting from it and creating more problems for me than it is solving.

So I ditch the second draft and start on the third. I’m considering dropping the original chronological element of the storytelling entirely, and I’m thinking of centering the piece in one moment in time - one conversation probably - and telling the story of how they arrived at that moment through flashbacks and newspaper headlines.

But that would require a complete re-thinking of the piece....

Which brings me back to my original question:

WHY IS WRITING SO DIFFICULT?

[pratchettquotes]

The bit of Moist's brain that was trying to keep up with his mouth thought: I wish I could make notes about this; I'm not sure I can remember it all. But the conversations of the last day were banging together in his memory and making a kind of music. He wasn't sure he had all the notes yet, but there were bits he could hum. He just had to listen to himself for long enough to find out what he was talking about.

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

[kyrajanemontenegro]

I’ve found home

Hours away from the place I grew up and still live, somewhere I only lived for 18 months, somewhere I hadn’t been in more than 5 years, it is home. It feels strange, sometimes, when I don’t think of this house as home anymore. This is the town I was born in, the one where I learned to drive, the one I can navigate without second thought, but it is not home anymore. Sure, when I’m coming home from school this is the home to which I refer, and I am safe here, but it is not the place that springs to mind when I hear the word “home.” I’m not entirely sure that it is a place, after all. All I know, is that when I am there, nearly monthly now, I feel truly loved, known, and content. They are my family. Each girl my sister-in-Christ, each hilarious, memorable, lovely. And the church, my stars. I walk into that foyer and suddenly I’m ten years old again, surrounded by people who know my name, who want to see me, who care about what I say. Now, all these years later, I still feel that. A year ago I walked into that church, full of anxiety and awkwardness, worried I would see someone I knew and not know what to say. But as my family sat in the sanctuary, I felt that tension disappear. It was still awkward at first to talk to the only girl I’d contacted prior to this visit, but I wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. Her father got up to preach and I could have cried. He mentioned my family’s presence, and then gave the best message I’d heard since we moved away. After the service I sat with that girl and talked about all we’d missed in each others lives. My sister dragged me away after a while and we went home, but the seed of true home had been replanted. In the following months I returned for a summer camp, met (or re-met) 8 wonderful girls, and have since spent every conceivable moment there. In my most recent visit the pastor joked that I was the reason for the upped Sunday school attendance, and talked to or referenced me three separate times in the main service, and I felt the love of the body of Christ in a way that I didn’t really know was possible. 

[purplesquirtle]

good friends.

There are two types of people when it comes to dealing with difficult things. One type has always dealt with problems themselves and never depended on anyone else to help solve the problems or help them feel better, for one reason or another while they were growing up. That’s just how they learned to deal with things. They are comfortable in that self-reliance. So don’t ask them to talk about their problems if they don’t want to. Don’t push them, or it can get ugly. 

The other type has usually had people around them to depend on and help them process problems that come up. Talking about things out loud helps them to figure out what to do and releases the problem from their bodies. This takes the weight off and makes them more able to figure things out and process emotions. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH DEPENDING ON PEOPLE. ITS HUMAN. ITS NATURAL. IT IS GOOD. (both types of processing can be dangerous when on the extreme ends ofc but in general it’s totally ok to rely on people or process things alone)

These types are internal vs external processors. When an external processor says that they need you for a minute or a day to help them process what just happened in their life or if they just need someone to help them feel better, DON’T SHUT THEM OUT BECAUSE YOU ARE A DIFFERENT PROCESSOR AND THINK THEY SHOULD HANDLE SHIT ON THEIR OWN. Don’t not answer them cause you think it will teach them self-reliance.. It is not weakness to depend on others. It is just a different system of processing based on how you learned to cope with things.  There is nothing wrong with dependence in difficult situations. That is how you build community, trust and love. 

Basically, be there for your friends. If you are a verbal processor, your friends are very important to you in hard times. Friends of the verbal processor: your friend needs you. Just be there for them and help them talk things out. DOn’t be selfish with your time or think that they are weak for needing you. 

Friends of the internal processor: if they don’t want to talk about it, leave them alone. But let them know you are there for them anyway. Then leave it at that. 

Just be a good friend.