We shall now recite the following verses from my scripture.
Straightness is not about cisheterosexuality. It is about normativity benefitted under a dominant structure.
Eurocolonial cisheteropatriarchy ties critical race, class, queer and gender theory.
Queer straightness, not straighten queerness.
Queerness is not quantifiable.
Cisheterosexual people can be queer, be affected by queerphobia and have queer autonomy too. Cisheterosexual persons can experience non-normativity and suffer for it.
Comphet affects everyone. Everyone can be confused.
Cisheterosexual people can have queer sexual or romantic relations and still identify as Cisheterosexual if they feel most comfortable to. Same goes for queer people who behave “contradictory to their identity”. That’s none of your damn business.
Do not fall prey to identity policing, separatism or exclusionist mentality.
Passing privilege is a myth.
Better treatment does not equate to better humanisation.
Feeling validated does not equate to gender euphoria.
What makes you feel good about yourself, might not always be healthy, nor humane to yourself and others.
Do not bash people you’re unattracted to.
Do not bash people your desired person is attracted to.
Do not bash your desired person for not reciprocating attraction to you.
Attraction and libido can come and go, or never return. The same actions and events may not always stimulate the same feelings, if at all.
Safe Love, romantic AND sexual activity is consensual and free from coercion. People can withdraw their consent at any time, without penalty or fear.
People aren’t just characters to play a role in your fantasies, whether romantic or sexual. Being romanticised is not more/less objectifying than being sexualised, the issue is consent and humanising treatment.
You get to regulate non-actions (what you don’t do in relationships or romance), any way you’d like. All actions being done to someone else must be consensual.
Before communicating, showing or performing acts of love and care to someone else, make sure they are consenting to it.
You do not have to accept, appreciate or reciprocate the “Love” you receive, nor in the specific way it was given.
Love does not equate to respect and vice versa.
Your autonomy and how you want to handle it, or gift others control over it. Who, where, when and how—is your preference and your decision.
Communication is key, but nobody is entitled to your self-disclosure unless it harms their bodily integrity [ie diseases].
Reciprocity and transactionality does not have to be the basis of a healthy relationship.
You do not need to experience, give or receive love, affection, intimacy, friendship, romance or sex, to be a whole person or a good person.
It is fine to expect to be safe and supported around your loved ones and community.
It is not fine to expect this unconditionally and to punish others for fair or reasonable conditions [ie not supporting your bigotry or abuse].
Do not expect reciprocation of feelings or actions from other individuals who haven’t explicitly agreed or contracted to a specific dynamic.
Do not cast generalised expectations and genderdiverse norms onto any gender group. Your individual preferences and how you navigate your own gender doesn’t have to depend nor inform an entire collective and its rules.
Do not compete for resources of validation and security under bigots and fascists.
Liberation at the expense of a marginalised group or another, is not liberation. Liberation that overlooks those left behind is not true queer representation.
Intersectionality should always be considered, but don’t weaponise this any way you like. Ensure every time it is brought up, it does not ridicule the value of intersectional awareness.
Marginalised groups aren’t monoliths and you are not the sole representation of an entire group of people, their unique individual advantages and struggles.
Even marginalised people can be unsafe, sell out and dehumanise their own.
Marginalised people do not “deserve their suffering”.
Stop gatekeeping and forming your identities by monopolising struggles and peddling exclusivity when it can be experienced by many. No such thing as “X is a Q-persons-specific issue”. Instead say “X is experienced by many Qs”.
Transness is not a measure of how well you pass or the steps you’ve taken to transition.
You do not have to fit a binary mold to be performing gender well enough.
You do not have to socially or medically transition “all the way” or even at all, to be seen as committed to your own journey.
Monosexual privilege is real. Biphobia is real. Transandrophobia is real. Exorsexism is real. Multispec discrimination is real. Lateral violence is real.
Bisexuals, men- and masc-aligned lesbians, women- and fem-aligned gays, mspec lesbians/gays, GNC, transfems and transmascs are not traitors with proximity to cisheteropatriarchy.
All persons of any identity are capable of upholding cisheteropatriarchy and perpetuating its norms.
