#fandommom

[mothersfacebooktextposts]

Entry 24:

Mom: as my grandmother once said (about midgets/short people)- if he's toe to toe his face is in it; if he's face to face, his toes are in it.

Me (horrified): ew mom, no

[mothersfacebooktextposts]

Entry 21:

Me: why do you think Neanderthals went extinct?

Mom; half asleep with her first cup of coffee: what?

Me: Neanderthals, mom. Focus. What killed them off? Interbreeding? Did out competition them for food? Disea-

Mom: I’ve got your answer; they were the first wave of abductions from our alien overlords. That’s why, now lay off me.

(Mom shuffles away sipping her coffee)

Me: You’re a genius!

[mothersfacebooktextposts]

Entry 27:

Me: *runs downstairs to mom*

Me: guess what?

Mom: what?

Me: told sis I wasn't gonna share the waffle brownies with her because she seemed snippy about how brownies couldn't waffle

Mom: but they don't waffle well,do they?

Me: well I put soapy water into the waffle iron to help clean the gunk out, she tried to eat the brownies out of the waffle iron

Mom: *barely contained laughter*yeah?

Me: she ate the soap-water soaked brownies.... oh my god

Mom: oh my god, give these to her. *hands the ^good^ brownies I gave her*

Me: aye aye captain

[mothersfacebooktextposts]

Entry 26:

Me: *walks into moms room*

Mom: no you can't have coffee

Mom: you're a cat

*MY*cat: mew

Mom: no coffee is sacred

Cat: mew

Mom: no

Mom: *looks up* you see this shit too, right?

Me: yep, evil little bastard

[mothersfacebooktextposts]

Entry 25:

Me: hey mom

Me: planning on making some will-it-waffle brownies, want some?

Mom: are they gluten free?

Me: yep

Mom: does a bear shit in the woods?

Me: I don't know does it?

Mom: you know what im getting at, make the brownies

[esthergal220]

Parenting done Fandom Style

You know you're parenting right when your son refers to you as "Mother of mine" and your daughter is stealing the table salt so she can hunt ghosts during playtime.