#father why

[eggdrawsthings]

cat parent behavior

[intergalactic-punk]

my dad is a lifelong trekkie but somehow an intense conservative 😒 I was thinking that we would be on entire oposite sides of the star trek enjoyer spectrum, but despite that when i told him i was giving TOS a serious watch he got really excited and demanded we watch the ep i was on at the same time to live text about it (we live in different states).

Star Trek really does unite with peace and love.

[b4thory-1t-w4s-all-a-ho4x]

Man why the fuck did my father order a 5lb jar of fucking PEANUT BUTTER

He does. Not eat that much.

Is he on something

@shame-in-you @axlthetwink87 @deftism @bassyperson someone help me

[stardustedknuckles]

Found out a few weeks ago that apparently one of THE first things my father said while holding his newborn baby (me) was "I'm gonna be so mad if she turns out to be a lesbian" which. Leaving aside the entire wtf factor of why that was anywhere near the front of his mind during an early 90s summer, long before internet brainrot, it's extremely funny to me in terms of like. The tiniest, freshest version of me being like BET from the jump, somewhere in the back of their mind. Like buckle up buddy. When I'm through, you'll wish I was JUST a lesbian. I'm gonna wreck your entire understanding of attraction, gender, and masculinity just for that.

I told my friend and was like. It's a little odd to know that some of the first words I ever heard in this world were homophobic and coming from my own father.

And she was like. True, but also one of the first words you ever heard was Lesbian.

And you know what? Fuck yeah.

[random-cupid455]

Eats you /silly

AAAAUFGHHHH DAD!

[thesealfriend]

Netflix subtitles: [baby coos]

My dad: "Aye they're called Calves ya numpty!"

[askmagnus]

The past is never dead. It's not even past.

Too true.

As hopeful a statement, as it is a heartbreaking one.

For while the past is certainly not dead so often little tragedies and mistakes are forever fixed in place.

So we can return to the past. We can touch it. We can smell it. But we can never truly go back.

[psychologicalwarclaire]

New dad lore just dropped: he swallowed a live goldfish in college