Hey! Staying on anon because I'm anxious, but god I REALLY need some help.
Do you have any advice on unmasking, especially for systems that tend to fall back on heavy masking at the drop of a pin whenever things get too stressful?
We've known about being a system for nearly 3 years now, and despite it and many other symptoms/experiences that make it obvious we are, I (host) still have so much doubt and imposter syndrome about it because of just how heavily we mask.
We've never been able to get beyond just seeing an outline of things in-headspace due to poor visualization (I'm not sure if it's due to a form of aphantasia or something else), and whenever things are hard we can barely hear or feel each other. It makes it so difficult to know which is real or fake, and the more doubt I see from those I'm close to that used to identify as systems, the more terrified I am of faking it myself.
We can't even remember to talk to each other in Simply Plural or in our system server because our mind completely blocks out all of the reminders we set up.
Please please help if you can, this is genuinely getting very difficult and painful, and I'm not sure what to do. I've hardly found any posts or advice for unmasking. (Please give traumagenic-centered advice!)
Hello. A few parts started working together on a response to your ask, and it kept getting longer and longer, so we eventually made this post on unmasking instead:
This is our own post covering unmasking as a system, something that we have been able to accomplish to an extent that we are quite comfortab
Additionally, we will share this post on dealing with denial, as it sounds like denial, imposter syndrome, and fear of faking have been making life in your system challenging:
We’ve gotten a few asks about dealing with denial as a system, so we wanted to put together a post that we can reference in the future.
Den
Ah, and we may encourage your system to try and avoid being harsh with yourselves for forgetting, struggling to communicate, or reverting back to masking. Rather, you may benefit from focusing on communicating and building relationships whenever you do remember. Positive reinforcement often yields better results than punishment, especially over something so morally neutral as forgetting. If you have a dissociative disorder, there very well could be barriers in place that are preventing you from achieving the results you desire.
It is quite difficult and may end up dangerous to attempt healing from trauma alone, without any help or guidance from a medical professional. If your system has the means, access, and comfortability, it may be for the best to seek our a kind, trauma-informed therapist to help you with this challenging process. Regardless, we do hope our posts will provide some insight for you and help you through this difficult time. We are sending you all our best regards as you proceed with this journey.
