#fermentedfoods

[thewholeuniverseisinus]

All fermented foods breakfast@08 coffee

[hilasss]

Fermentos

[stabbythebosscat]

My dad has gotten into fermenting his own pickles and jalapeños. Why? This is the man who carried a piece of steak around in his pocket as it turned grey in a plastic bag all day (cutely called Bagomeat), and got his friends to TRY IT, and who said “I don’t MOVE! I saunter”. You don’t ask questions about his questionable life choices.

ANYWAY. He forces ME to try the pickles, because he is proud of himself, and will hold it to my lips with a fork until I finally try it. Nevermind the odd white foam(?) that is on the pickle’s surface.

and so I tried it. And promptly spat it out as discretely as possible.

the only way I can describe it is that it tasted like a cucumber that gave up on it’s life in a midlife crisis, and spiraled into alcoholism.

I don’t know how he managed to make cucumbers drowned in salt water for a few weeks taste like they had downed one too many vodkas, but now I know cucumbers can get depressed and addicted too.

I really wanna get them into AA meetings, but I’m not sure they’d appreciate my help.

[wretchedwitchpussy]

eye twitching seeing raw fermented meat holistic content on the internet. WE HAVE RAW FERMENTED MEAT IT'S CALLED SALAMI. WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR UNSTERILIZED SUN-WARMED JAR IS MOLD AND BOTULISM AND ROT 😭😭😭

there r sooo many yummy and safe ways to consume raw and/or fermented foods but fermentation has to be done in conjunction with like. stopping bad+gross bacteria from growing on ur fermented food so that the good bacteria can do the fermentation.

this is oftentimes achieved by making the environment too acidic for harmful bacteria (kimchi, saurkraut, etc.), salting it for the same reason (cured meats, fish sauce), reducing light or reducing oxygen (sourdough, brined veggies). there r so many kinds of good bacteria out there you can consume safely through eating fermented foods but there are so many bacteria that absolutely just want to beat the shit out of you also.

and like. if I were to think to myself 'how might I poison myself in the most ridiculous and utterly inefficient way possible?' it would probably look a whole lot like speedrunning botulism and listeria by eating actively rotting meat out of a sun-warmed unsterilized jar because I ignored the thousands of years of human trial and error that led to safe fermentation and aging methods. holy shit.

[broccolisprouts]

Ferment Your First Jar in 5 Steps

Body copy: Because humans did this for 4,000 years before Whole Foods charged you $12 for it.

One cabbage. Two tablespoons of salt. Your hands. A mason jar. That's the whole ingredient list. No starter kit. No subscription box. No influencer code.

This is sauerkraut — the way your great-grandmother made it, and her great-grandmother before her. Osmosis does the work. You just chop, salt, squeeze, pack, and wait.

Full food science breakdown, history, and troubleshooting: Be Pro-Veggional: A Fermentation Guide 

What's fermenting in your kitchen? Reblog with your jar.

[moonskyearth]

green olives and organic vegetables from my garden (black cabbage, nettle, sonchus oleraceus), sunflower seed sauce, calendula petals, fermented vegetables (carrots and savoy cabbage), olive oil, salt

[friday-tea]

She's baaaaack! Our beloved Puer-style fermented black tea from the wonderful Satemwa Estate: Satemwa Dark! If you like the smell of old-growth forest soil, rain on stone and dark dark mud, this is the brew for you.⁠ ⁠ Bonus: No matter how rich and dark you take it, you'll never get any bitterness here!

[lyumgleam]

Sourdough Cheese Crackers-Crispy Homemade & Delicious