¿Ya tengo tu atención? Soy Outsider y cree estas etiquetas para que se las pegues a un termo/ vaso a ver si así te dan ganas de tomar agüita. Son gratis, de uso personal. Si te gustan puedes pagar lo que desees por ellas y si no, también ta bien. Pero si lo haces mi gato te lo agradece.
Ojo que los nombres de todo son ficticios y solo un juego de palabras en latín. Y nada ya está, disfrútalas y compartírselas a tu amike que tmb quiera sentirse omega para sobrevivir la vida. Incluye una opción para betas hartos de la vida.
Descárgalas desde mi perfil en Ko-fi (el enlace de aquí abajo)
Descárgalas AQUÍ
P.D. No se puede lucrar con ellas ni modificarlas, uso exclusivamente personal. Bye bye.
From the moment the properties of Amniotic Ballast were realized, there was a rush to export the experience of bathing in the natural Thermal Springs of the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park into the home. The difficulties in such a proposition rested within the additional property of Ballast to begin losing some of it's potency with removal from the Venterial Environment. While of course possible through a combined strategy of pressurization, heating, concentration and chemical stabilization, such efforts were never cheap or easily portable. As a result, few but the relatively wealthy ever enjoyed the full benefits of Ballast Bathing outside of the Mystery Flesh Pit, which ended up driving more and more visitors to the park as the health and recreational value of Ballast became more widespread.
Did anyone here have a "My super-secret diary" as a kid?
IIRC, it was marketed to preteens in the early 1990s. You'd use a stylus to digitize diary entries and it would encrypt & write them to these huge, proprietary tape memory cartridges. Periodically an armored truck would pick up filled cassettes and take them to secure off-site storage facilities they built inside decommissioned missile silos. I guess they were sort of popular in Japan, but they never really took off in the US. Cost was a factor, I'm sure, plus the fact that you needed a 240V outlet which weren't and still aren't common in residential bedrooms.
Ahoy ahoy, trying not to be late again this time; I’m doing something relatively unusual for my Saturday Night Writing, not as much a drabble as profiles of three products that never existed; but potentially could have.
I’ve been meaning to do this for ages now, but texecutive dysfunction does as it will, and I’ll do it now by gum! These products can be freely used as one sees fit, no strings attached, though credit me; Thomas F. Johnson if you use ‘em in a work. I’d love to see these weird brands show up as recurring themes
So, without futher ado, tonight’s writing is brought to you by the Pink Wind vaccuum, Blue Moon Soda and Circus Cosmetics, after the break!
Pink Breeze- Fidelio as a vaccuum making company was always an unfortunate case. Their cutting edge use of cyclone filters years before Dyson was hampered by numerous manufacturing difficulties and cost-cutting measures and gimmicks to make them consumer accessible that; more often than not; hampered their overall efficiency as cleaning devices and rendered them prone to breaking; though they were supposedly quite efficient if you could get the damn things to work.
And yet, they still squeaked along for years, managing to sell for a shocking amount for a company with only one model of vaccuum still on the market. But, then, there's the one. Known as the "Pink Breeze," it was meant to be a smaller model of cylander vaccuum meant for dusting fragile items, with a soft; adjustable tip on the nozzle; a dial to alter the level of suction and a rounded; curvy shiny pink configuration meant to resemble an item of furniture.
Now, while it was possibly better suited for the task thanks to its use of the company's cyclonic filters, most people didn't see the point of such a specialized product. But, for all its qualities; they were high sellers amongst a male demographic, particularly unmarried; single men.
Yes, all of its factors ended up making the vaccuum accidentally perfect for dick-sucking. Unlike other sex toys, it was buyable in mainstream outlets; with only moderate scruitny from the outside world.
Even the products' legendary shoddiness was little issue, as they were cheap thanks to said cost-cutting measures and most of that fanbase were seemingly okay with shelling out for another model. The CEO; however; was oblivious to the reasons for its cult popularity; only seeing the sales figures. And given his legendary stubbornness and tendency towards conservativism, nobody really wanted to tell him.
The R&D team did; however; secretly take that into account when designing other; secondary products in that line to capitalize on its success; though they enjoyed markedly less thereof; and the product's legendarily-sexualized mascot also known as Pink Breeze was notoriously designed as a joke by the marketing team to see how much implications in that regard they could get away with. The answer was; apparently; "All of it."
Which ended up spawning a fetish art subculture of "Vac-Girls," but that's a whole other story.
The company declined though; as even such an evergreen product can only get one so far in the face of their numerous other failures; and the final death-knell that convinced the owners to sell while they were still viable was the bizarre hovercraft-like vaccum model given the name "Sentinel" but notoriously known as "Old Cat-Eater" and "The Executioner's Hood."
But that's a story for another time.
Blue Moon- Legendary soda-developers the Breulen Brothers; one a flavor scientist and another a product designer, are responsible for some of the greatest "cult hits" amongst soft drinks; whether it be the "DIY" Squash Soda or the enigmatic "Liquid Gold" flavoring agent, but one of their less acclaimed projects was the melatonin-based "Blue Moon" soda, with the blueberry flavoring.
The basic idea was, if there are caffinated sodas meant to keep you awake, why not a soda with a similarly-mild sleep aid to help you go to bed? From there the blueberry flavoring and iconic Man-In-The-Moon logo followed. But, there was a problem. The FDA didn't and still does not allow for the usage of melatonin in items marked as "beverages"
However, the marketing team did get around this in multiple ways. Namely; marketing it as a "suppliment," which just so happened to be advertised like a soda; given its own dispenser adjacent to the other drinks; packaged with other sodas; but carefully worded and advertised so that technically they were not selling it as a soda. Of course, the Brothers did not intend this, intending to market it as a separate item; both to avoid possible adverse combinations with other caffinated beverages and also to establish it as its own "thing," a ritual akin to a nightly equivalent of coffee.
It worked for a shockingly long while too; attracting just the right amount of attention to sell well while still skirting legality. Helped it was damned tasty too. And then the news stories started. Specifically, news stories of various car crashes and accidents induced by the sorts of behaviors that happen when one consumes a beverage that makes one sleepy combined with beverages that make one wide awake.
And, like that, the Brothers were thrown under the bus, despite it not being their idea. The charges were dropped, but their careers were never quite the same.
Of course, there was an "accidental" leak of the product's formula; coincidentally on the same week the Brothers left the company for greener pastures; so there is a small but dedicated following that does make its own "homebrew" of the stuff, so it can be found if one knows where to look.
Circus Cosmetics- The label is somewhat inaccurate, as the cosmetics (Ranging from highlighter to mascara to lipstick to even nail polish) come under a number of different names; sold in low-end stores for cheap prices in low-income areas. They're known by that name due to the largest outbreak of their product under that branding in the Detroit area being under that brand; though other prominent names for it have been reported as Harleqin; Big Top; and Scaramouche
They cause bleaching of the skin; swelling and reddening of the lips; nasal tissue; around the eyes; and of the vocal cords and airways, leaving the victims gasping for air with a distinctive honking noise and causing hallucinations due to deprivation of oxygen not severe enough to kill but severe enough to alter brain activity; resulting in erratic behavior during the affliction and often leaving the victims with permanent skin damage and scarring after recovery. The causes have been identified as likely due to either some bacterial agent often found in samples thereof or a common chemical agent in them; though it has been speculated that it may be due to the interaction of both.
The reason for their continued circulation; despite the numerous outbreaks; is that the FDA is unable to regulate the company that produces it due to it having so many shell subsidiaries that it is impossible to find the "true" producers of such things, though many suspect it is also considered low priority due to the impoverished areas in which these products are found. Multiple fringe religious organizations have been found as donors to these shells through other shells; which has troubling implications.
-As a final word, a lot of these product areas are ones in which I am not truly specialized, so if I have evoked a “THAT IS NOT HOW -X- WORKS!” reaction for those more knowlegable in the subject than me, please contact me and tell me how I can spiff it up!-
A fictional product that I've come up with that will appear in most of my work and hopefully work of others kind of like a Morley's Cigarette type of thing.
BLAZE EXPRESS
A fictional chain of restaurants that serve both pizza and burgers. Anything but bland and generic, the aesthetic is best described as a cross between Big Kahuna Burger and the Waverly Sub Station.
But which projects will it appear in?
If Season 2 of DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN turns out good than Blaze Express will make its first appearance in the BULLSEYE spin-off series I have in mind where it will be made a bloodbath.
But I also have another option. I'll have Blaze Express make an appearance through one of the pizza deliveries in a certain reboot that I have in mind too, KIM POSSIBLE X SHEGO.
OKAY, NOW THAT WE”VE GOTTEN MOST OF THAT DRAMA OUT OF THE WAY, I’d like to talk about an idea I had. Specifically, for open-source biographies of fictional products, creative commons w/ credit
But I have no idea which one of the ideas to use, so I leave it up to you, my readers, to tell me. They are:
An elderflower-flavored soda known as Rose Solais, designed “for ladies” and the weird history it had with gender politics and feminism in particular.
A game series featuring my Cybernetic Queen character that was seemingly erased from history, for a malevolent purpose in fact...
One product of many by a feminist action-toy company fro mthe 1980s, specifically a series of Japanese hentai-based girl-and-monster figures they bought the rights to by sheer accident; but which became a girls toy icon and one of the rare success stories feminism (And their company) had in the 80s through allowing several female speculative fiction writers to go nuts with the story and setting of them...
A mystery-themed cereal designed to sell unpopular stock blind-boxed, that used a very early form of ARG as its gimmick once it became unexpectedly popular amongst college students, and got a backlash when it ditched that gimmick (possibly at the CIA’s behest) for cheap prizes during the 80s. And then a mysterious other party brought the game back...
A model of vaccum cleaner made as a test product for new; innovative technologies that was ridiculously good at sucking dick, by pure accident, and terrible at everything else. And, the more they tried to “improve” it, the better it got at sucking and the worse it got at vaccuming, until the company making it found out and the whole thing collapsed.
Two products of a fireworks company that were infamous, namely a “Make Your Own Fireworks” chemistry kit that had a bizarre (And sometimes violent) link with the hippie movement, but only died after the movement died out; and a big “Bucket O Fireworks” designed in the 80s and 90s to circumvent fireworks laws, and to push otherwise ill-selling; dangerous or just plain weird fireworks on folks who might not buy them otherwise (A few of the most notable commonly-found ones being described therein)
A company dedicated to producing weapons that were impractical but had an element of science-fictional weirdness to them for fantasy hobbyists; created by a hippie engineer and a gunsmith sickened by the right-wing trajectory of gun culture at the time of the company’s formation (The 70s BTW)...
So, which one do you like best? Tell me in the reblogs!
Tongue Sleeves claim to let users taste "like a bear," "like a whale," dulling some taste receptors and amping others—fun though unsupportable. The line of "fictional flavors" disappoints; the chemistry is clever but in my brain not dissimilar from things I’ve eaten.
