#fightingmyself

[confessionsofamessyhuman]

I’m Insecure...

I’m insecure. Insecure about my weight, my arms, my thighs, my legs, my stomach, my nose, my boobs, my chin, my bum, my nails, my feet, my back. 

I’m insecure. Insecure about my personality, my attitude, my way of living, my success, my grades, my future, my goals, my plans, my future family.

I’m insecure. Insecure about my boyfriend leaving me, my family giving up on me, my friends forgetting me.

I’m insecure. Insecure about everything. 

But if you see me or talk to me, you won’t feel or see it.

[starfla-blog]

+"But never have I been a calm blue sea. I have always been a storm."+ #motivationalquotes #motivationalfriday #workingonabetterme #fightingmyself #selfesteemboost #loveyourlife #loveyourself #saopaulo #tokyo🗼 #tokyotowernight #nightview #tbf #japantrip (em 東京タワー　Tokyo Tower) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuvnpGOg8k7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ehrip1iy5y21

[malezjuszka]

My body temperature might be low but mind is boiling hot.

[confessionsofamessyhuman]

Pushing Back my Urges

Do you know the feeling when you want something? For example, something sweet, a cigarette, sleeping, etc. 

Do you know the feeling when you want something but shouldn’t have it right now? Like wanting something sweet when you’re on a diet, wanting a cigarette when you’re in a meeting or in a test or wanting to sleep when you have a bunch of shit to do. 

Wanting something doesn’t always mean you’re meant to have it at the same time you want it. That’s when pushing back your urges come in. 

Personally I don’t push back my urges, which is bad. See, if I’m hungry in the middle of the night, I’m not going to hold myself back, actually I’ll go make myself something to eat, even though I know it’s bad for my health and my weight, but I’ll do it anyways. Same for everything I want, and usually what I want is bad for my health. If it’s a glass of Coke, a cigarette, something in a store etc. 

Today’s the day I’ll slowly start depriving myself from things I don’t deserve. I haven’t worked out in like a year so why the fuck should I treat myself? Because I folded my fucking laundry? No way, these are things I should be doing, that’s not something I should be proud of. Let’s say I spend days and really spend days studying and get 100% on my final exam, after long days of studying, that’s when I’m allowed to treat myself, with a drink maybe, or a chocolate or a candy bar, but not because I folded my laundry or washed the dishes. 

I’m going to start treating myself like a dog. The same way you treat them when they listen to you? I’m going to be treating myself after i achieve a big goal of mine, not an everyday thing. And it’s not about snacks, it can be buying myself a nice dress or nice shoes, or a massage or a day at the beach or anything I might enjoy. 

Your urges may be one of your biggest enemies, unless your urges are essential to your well being, which even in that case can be bad. 

So now, when I’ll want something out of the blue, I’ll think 3 times before having it, and trust me when I say this, I hope I don’t give in. 

I’m done hating myself for the poor choices I make that bring me temporary happiness.

[ridethehappylyes]

[leonisntontumbl]

Lost in Silence

A boy stands still in a sea of faces, Frozen, heart racing, in a crowd that never notices. The air is thick with judgment, the trees beside him bare, Their branches reach like fingers, but no one cares. He’s a lost boy in a world too loud, Trying to climb but frozen by fear, his heart a shroud. The gravel path leads him nowhere, Dead trees line it like souls too tired to care. He wants to move, but the silence screams, And he wonders, “Can they see me? Or are these just dreams?”

[jikingare]

#NewMusicFriday #FightingMyself @linkinpark #Meteora20 https://www.instagram.com/p/CqMOka8O_I8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[monsterverma]

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The lion takes a step backward to leap. Likewise, when life pushes you back, gear up because this life is ready for you to leap higher. #lionthinking #life #challenges #fightingmyself #facechallenges #ican #iwill #mad #idiot #nevergiveup #action #expertise #perfection #responsibility #discipline #respectyourself #unstoppable #unbelievable #uncreadibale #entrepreneur #entrepreneurlife #sandeep_maheshwari #prt #eric #inspiration #business #selfeducated #mdmotivation https://www.instagram.com/p/B1-ejG6g6qg/?igshid=16bms9ddi2hs3