#flluff

[tiiraameesu]

୨ৎ tiiraameesu's masterlist ୨ৎ

welcome to my masterlist! i hope you have a fun time reading through my stories! do support by liking and commenting on my posts, it truly means a lot to hear from all of you. stay tuned for more releases 𑣲⋆ ❀ all are reader-insert stories ❀ ⋆｡°✩: angst | ⋆°•☁︎⋆ : fluff | ࣪⋆⚡︎˖ : smut / mdni

JJK: gojo satoru: ⋆｡°✩The One That Got Away (completed)

HAIKYUU bokuto koutaro: ⋆°•☁︎⋆ If I Was Your Boyfriend (in progress!)

[dearbongjae]

Wish You Were Sober

lando norris x oscar piastri - college au!

based on conan gray's song "wish you were sober" status: finished tags: film major!lando, engineering major!oscar, unrequited love (they think), mutual pining, idiots in love, light angst (not really)

Summary: 

Lando keeps confessing his love for Oscar, but only when he' s drunk.

Oscar, who doesn't know if it's real or not, has been waiting for him to say it sober.

But he never does. Or does he?

Snippet:

“You’re pretty, and I like pretty boys.” Lando smiled lazily, and Oscar didn’t fail to notice how close their faces are, the older boy’s eyes soft and full of affection as his breath hits the younger one’s face.

“I like you, Osc.”

Oscar’s world tilted as Lando’s words hung in the air, sweet and devastating all at once. But before he could say anything—before he could even process what had just happened—Lando’s slumped against him, passed out cold.

Oscar sat there, frozen, staring down at the boy who had just wrecked his entire world and fixed it all at once.

What the actual fuck was that.

[inviisiiblelee]

Vintage

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Word Count: 2,224 Rating: Teen and Up Audience Relationship: Alastor/Vox Additional Tags:

Mentioned Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Mentioned Velvet (Hazbin Hotel), Vox is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, Lost Love, Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Fluff, porting from AO3, link included above if prefered.

Notes: An entry for Tumblr RadioStatic Week Day 2: Vintage. I'm late by a week, but I will be writing for each prompt anyway. This definitely falls much more under the unrequited vibes. Vox is obsessive.

----------------------------

Glowing red eyes focused on the blueprints on the table. Vox’s hands were deft, gentle with the small pieces he was fitting together in front of him. The blueprints were as detailed as he could think to make them, but he rarely worked with wood products anymore. It had been years, maybe even decades since he had touched the material, especially a rosewood as beautiful as this. He usually worked with metals, able to use his power to work holes of good sizes and engrave himself. But he also hadn’t worked anything by hand in years just as well. The factories produced everything now, and while he often made prototypes of certain products, he still didn’t usually work the material himself anymore. He would put it together and handle the tech parts and the programming. 

But this was a simple wooden build, with only a few moving parts for a reason. Of course, those parts were metal, shiny and well polished brass. Recreating and making things a little more efficient was something he was good at, even if he didn’t do it often. He could cut out a few in between parts in favor of newer, modern pieces, while still maintaining the original effects. He had hired someone especially to make sure the music piece would play properly, and he was able to make those pieces himself with clear instruction. His fingertips could get hot and were easily sharpened, and he was more than familiar with ensuring holes in metal were an appropriate size. Plus, he had several sheets of brass ready in case he did need a few trial runs.

His work bench was covered in wood shavings and dust, the smell of burning fibers. But a few screws, several hours, an infuriating amount of time spent bent over into the light, engraving into the wood with red-hot fingertips and listening to the same little tune over and over again until it was perfectly placed. Vox stepped back to look at the completed box, closed and fully varnished and dried, something he’d done to the pieces days before assembly. The outside looked about the way it should have at the time of the original designs, in the late 1890's or so, clean corners and raised layers. A shiny little keyhole for a simple lock and key to turn and open it. The top lifted up, Vox had taken time to engrave the image of a deer on the inside in the unvarnished wood, grazing on some grass between trees. The inner parts of the box were otherwise everything they needed to be, the disk of brass meant to spin and pluck along a musical comb underneath. It looked perfect, and it put a smile on Vox’s screen, before it fell slightly. He tipped the box over, and there was the false bottom.

With the hollowed space opened up, he picked up a small sheet of paper that he folded into fourths before tucking it in and placing the bottom over it. A screw in each corner and it was hidden away. It was … unlikely to ever be found. But that was fine. 

Another quick set of checks before Vox gathered the music box, tucked it away in a bag, and left his little workshop area. He didn’t use the room often, it branched off of his office, something he’d built into the VoxTech building but hadn’t used almost at all since the early 2000’s. Sometimes he would build a thing or two, but that was typically at his desk, not in there. It was fairly late in the night, nothing unusual for him to be up at, but a time he knew the majority of the building would be shut off, Valentino and Velvette probably having already retired to bed. So it was very easy to make his way out of the tall towering office without any incident. He walked with purpose, entered one of his smaller vehicles that would garner almost no attention, and made his way to the inner city. 

Vox parked a few blocks from the destination, intending to walk the rest of the way. He didn’t have a clear idea of why he was really doing this. He didn’t … have a good reason. This was silly, a ridiculously sentimental impulse to have indulged for the last week. He supposed he thought he would give it up halfway through, and even now, he thought maybe he would make it to the front door, and then he would abandon ship. He could still go back. Destroy the thing, or repurpose it. 

But no, he was walking his way right up to that stupid Hazbin Hotel, and stood at the double doors for a little while. It was two in the morning, and it was unlikely anyone was in the lobby. He didn’t want to risk leaving the thing out on the steps, it would be far more likely to be destroyed before ever even being spotted. Or stolen. He pressed one hand on one door and pushed, feeling it give and open with slight pressure. It was quiet and quick, and he peeked inside. The worst that could happen was … well. A confrontation, he supposed.

But he was lucky. The lights were low, only a few around the bar left on to illuminate the area, which appeared to be empty. No patrons, no staff, and that was perfect.

A few steps in, closing the door behind him. The remodel had clearly gone smoothly, and it was definitely for the better, given what glimpses of the interior he had gotten before. It helped that Lucifer had led the efforts seamlessly, it took them all less than a day to construct. Lucky bastards. But as he idled in the lobby, he noticed a television set around the sitting area on the other side. Perfect.

A quick approach over to the tech, and Vox dug the box out of his bag. He placed a single note card on top, bearing the name to whom the gift was for.

Alastor.

Single spaced, typed out, using the basic Arial font. He didn’t want to be connected to this. The back of the card bore a simple set of lines. Enjoy. Hand-made for your listening pleasure. He didn’t think hand-writing the note would be a good idea. Signed or not, he was sure Alastor would remember what his penmanship looked like, given it had hardly changed in over fifty years. So typed it was. A soft sigh left him as he stepped back, looking at the gift left on the television for a long moment before turning and making his way out.

“Alastor! There’s something down here for you!” Charlie called out excitedly from the lobby. Alastor was not really in the vicinity to hear, but he did quickly appear at her call, as he always did, emerging easily from the shadows, smile wide. 

“Oh? What do you have for me?” he asked smoothly, glancing down at the wooden box that she was holding. He read the card bearing his name, and his brows furrowed slightly. If it were a gift from Charlie, why would she bother with a card as such?

“It’s not from me, and no one else is owning up to it either,” she said, also looking a little confused. “It was just sitting in the lobby when Husk came to open up, and he gave it to me when I came down.”

“Well, let’s take a look together, shall we?” Alastor said simply, placing his microphone in the crook of one arm and taking the box in his hands. It didn’t seem to be anything inherently dangerous.

“I did open it,” Vaggie admitted as she approached out of curiosity. “It doesn’t look like anything too weird, or like any sort of weapon.”

“Vaggie! It’s just a gift!”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, Charlie. Vaggie has the right idea, triple-checking things.” Meanwhile, he turned the card around and read the few lines typed out on the back. For his listening pleasure? Hand-made? Odd.

The key taped to the card – or rather, re-taped by Vaggie – was clearly needed to open it, so he pulled it off and opened the box, peering at the inside. The scene of a grazing deer, engraved by some sort of heat into the wood, greeted him first, and he found himself blinking in some surprise. There was no signature, no name anywhere inside, and he wondered if the hand-made comment was simply a lie. But there was a certain amount of humanity in the lines, flaws here and there that convinced him more that it wasn’t the case. It was clearly a music box. There was a crank left on the music disk, and he inserted it into the hole it was clearly meant to fit into. Setting the box down, he went ahead and turned it to allow the box to begin making its music.

The song began to play, and Alastor felt something shift in his heart. It was a song he recognized, a song that he was most familiar with in the 70’s, and his mind was left trying to figure out who would make such a thing, or send such a thing. His smile wobbled, but he forcefully kept it up, as a single name arrived as a possibility that he quickly shook away. There would be no reason he would do any such thing, surely. Charlie and Vaggie both appeared entranced by the music, and Alastor seemed stuck in place, so the song played in full and eventually stopped to leave them in silence. Alastor stepped forward and snapped the box shut, tucking it under his arm.

“That’s such a nice gift, do you know who- oh. Where did he go?” Charlie spoke to Vaggie, realizing Alastor had disappeared amongst the shadows again.

The Radio Demon was back in his room, and the box was back in his hands, opened and being examined. He was searching it for just about any semblance of information on who had sent the pesky little thing. He shook it a little in his hands in frustration when he found nothing at all. But he heard something seem to slide against the wood inside of it. 

He paused. Was it just a mechanism piece? Another shake gave the same noise, but it didn’t sound like anything that should have been in there.

He sat down with it, examining the well-crafted item, noting the screws on the bottom of the box after a closer look. He produced a small screwdriver and worked the metal out of their holes, finding the hollow spot where the folded paper resided. 

“Ah-ha!” 

A triumphant little noise and he withdrew the folded note, placed the music box gently down on his desk, and read it. 

Alastor.

Today marks it being officially eighty years since the day you saved me from Hell, in every literal and figurative sense. Technically, a total of a hundred years since meeting you for the first time. Things are weird and different now, and I wish that wasn't the case, but hopefully you have fond memories about this song, that maybe it can remind you of what we used to be. Who I … used to be. And maybe it'll bring you a little happiness, too.

With love, Vox.

Oh. 

So it was Vox's doing as he first thought. Somehow, it was almost relieving. That no one else seemed to be aware of that part of him, or that it ever existed. There were really few who remembered that once they used to be close, but … truly Alastor had thought that Vox was one of those people. There was a mix of feelings boiling in his chest, he felt like, and he couldn't begin to sort out what was more prominent. Anger? Rage? Something … softer? Sentimentality? Regret? 

His fingers pulled the box back into his lap, flipping it back over. He cranked the handle and let the song play again, his expression softening. He thought he'd buried most of this decades ago. He thought Vox had buried this all decades ago. Alastor was more than aware of the date, though he had no intention of being so actionable on it. It meant Vox came during the night, and Alastor hadn't noticed. For once, he had been able to sleep, and it appeared it had been conveniently during the time he had arrived. Stepped right into his domain to drop off a ridiculous gift that he made plenty of effort to be unattached to. 

He could remember the many times they'd danced to this song. It was an original piece by someone more local, Vox had been enamored by it, and Alastor had agreed that it was very good. Vox bought the record without question and when they lived together, back in the 70’s, they would often play it. 

Alastor shook his head, trying to dispel the memories. It hadn't been like that for so long. Vox moved out a couple decades later, abandoned him for work and profit and frivolity. Lost himself to the corporate world somehow, though it was frankly surprising he'd managed to go so long with any individuality in the first place. 

But he couldn't seem to harshen the smile on his face as the song played. 

Thank you, old friend.

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 9

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you.

hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

series: star lost with you

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden (?) romance, slowburn (!), soulmate au (kind of)

word count: 24.3K 

warnings: cursing, angst!, drinking, arguments, a lot of jealousy, mature language and content, questionable behaviour, more angst, references to kissing and grinding, mutual pining maximum, yn is lovesick and oblivious x100

a/n: after a couple of all-nighters, im finally finished with part 9! a lot of developments happen in this chapter, and it’s quite long. also i hope you can understand why each character behaves the way they do. please don’t hate me lol ! on that note, i hope you enjoy reading.

you can listen to my star lost playlist here! thank you @ortali for this gif <3

masterlist

Agreeing to play Spin The Bottle was the worst idea you’d had in years.

Hyunjin had walked away.

It was just a game. A stupid age-old party game to break the ice, to give teenagers some stories to tell when the party was over. 

That’s all it was supposed to be.

It shouldn’t have any real world consequences, but the ache in your chest right now felt very real. 

It felt tangible, like the sand between your fingers, or the waves at your feet, or the metal zipper that dug into your skin. 

Hana’s words seemed like a joke now too. This outfit certainly hadn’t made you any more desirable.

He chose to drink, and then he chose to walk away.

You shouldn’t be this upset — over something that didn’t happen, something that you didn’t even know you wanted to happen. 

Well, you certainly knew now.

You had wanted to kiss Hyunjin.

The realisation sunk into your being, weighing down every other thought you had. It was the only thing strong enough to distract you from the spinning in your head, and the alcohol in your body.

It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You’re pretty sure nobody in this circle would have minded kissing Hyunjin — he was cute, and he was kind, and funny, and wouldn’t have made it weird.

Except that you didn’t want to kiss him for just a silly party game.

You wanted to kiss him in the sand until your lips turned raw, and red and swollen, and you were out of breath. 

You wanted to kiss him in the cabin with the little star on his face, and when his lips tasted like the cherry punch you made. 

You wanted to kiss him when he let you sleep on his shoulder on the train, and when he held your hand in the bathroom.

Looking back, you wanted it, in almost every moment that you’d spent with him - you just hadn’t known it then. 

It was a pointless realisation, and a stupid awakening, because those moments were now gone, just like this one was, and there was no point on dwelling on them.

There was no point because at the end of everything, Hyunjin was your friend.

At the end of everything, Hyunjin thought of you, as just his friend too.

You hoped that this was the reason he chose to drink.

You hoped that this was the only reason he made the choice that he did, and not because he couldn’t stand the thought of kissing you.

You would rather he think you of as just a friend, than someone completely undesirable.

It was naïve, and it was conceited, and it was selfish, but you’d hoped that if nothing else, he found you attractive too. Just as attractive as you found him. 

Maybe it was a silly thought that was rooted in your core ever since you were a kid; you wanted the cute boy to think you were cute too.

The possibility of this thought being real, dwindled by the second, and the reality set in.

You wanted to ask him why he chose this, but that too, was selfish, and you’d gone your entire life trying to not be that.

He didn’t owe you an answer, and he certainly didn’t owe you that dare.

Just because a boy is nice to you, does not mean that he is into you. 

That’s what Minho always used to tell you, but it was always so hard to believe because at the end of the day, it was as tough finding boys who were nice to you, as boys who were interested in you.

You had been upset but now you felt mad at yourself too, for indulging in thoughts like this, when there was such a beautiful view in front of you.

That’s what you should be grateful for, for the fact that it was your best friend’s birthday, and everyone was having a good time, and you were lucky enough to witness such moments.

You shouldn’t be wanting for silly things that would never transpire into real life. Hyunjin couldn’t even kiss you for a game, so of course he would never kiss you until you were breathless.

The beach house always looked beautiful at night. 

You let yourself focus on that instead.

Tonight, it was lit up just by the twinkling lights inside, and it reminded you a lot of Christmas. The glow stretched onto the sand, until the yellow from the fairy-lights merged with the orange of the bonfire. It was hard to tell where the light from the cabin ended, and where the warmth from the fire began. 

The moon perfectly lit up the water, rippling over the waves, like a textbook drawing technique you’d learnt back in the day.

Any other time, you would be inspired by this, and you would grab a sketchbook to study the pattern of the light, but not now.

All you felt right now was confused.

You’d just kissed your best friend, but all you could focus on was the little drawings in the sand that Hyunjin had left.

The ones he’d just… walked away from.

All you could think about was why Hyunjin wasn’t here right now, in front of you, like he had been the entire night. 

You must have imagined it — the way he’d looked at you before, or how unnaturally close he stood to you, or the way he grabbed your hand, slender fingers slipping amongst your own.

Hyunjin had held your hand, without a second thought, like it didn’t make your head spin despite the simplicity of the action.

Alas... holding hands was very different from kissing people.

That spiral of thoughts...was just one of the things you had to come to terms with right now.

The other thing was staring right at you, and his lips were still smeared with your gloss.

You dragged your finger across the sand, feeling Felix’s gaze on you.

Why hadn’t he wiped it off yet?

You wish he would, because it was a reminder of everything that just happened.

He then laughed at a joke Choi San made, getting back into the game with an unfamiliar ease. 

Did Felix not care about what just happened? 

Were you ever going to talk about it again, or was it just one of those things? 

It certainly seemed like he didn’t care, because he was laughing, and not even a little bit flustered.

Their conversation was fuzzy to your ears, but they were talking about the city, and Felix was expressing his dislike for everything about it. It was weird how quickly everyone agreed, like the city was some unknown evil dystopia, and you wondered why everyone in Daejon had the same thoughts regarding it.

Your voice was hoarse, but you asked anyway, “What happened?” 

The others looked at you, in unison, and the look on their faces made you regret asking.

It was like they knew something you didn’t. 

You hated that feeling.

Eunbi tilted her head at you, “What do you mean?”

Did she really have to ask?

Maybe you truly were the only one to be so affected by Hyunjin — even his absence was loud.

You felt so dumb but you said it anyway, “He left” 

Lily nodded, in understanding now, “I guess he drank too much”

San laughed loudly, and it was like he broke through the cloud of tension that had just overtook the circle. Or maybe the tension was just in your head too. 

They didn’t seem to worry that Hyunjin had just walked away. Seonghwa had already spun the bottle for the next round.

San took a sip from his cup, with simple punch, “A rockstar that can’t handle his liquor? That’s new”

Lily mumbled at him to shut up.

Seonghwa smiled at you, “If it’s any consolation Y/N, I would have kissed you any day of the week”

It wasn’t any consolation.

Park Seonghwa seemed nice, and maybe it would have been better if the bottle landed on him, but you were …worried.

What just even happened?

“Was he okay?” 

They looked at you, like you were crazy for being worried about him.

“I mean, why would he just… leave?” Your voice came out small, and unsteady, and stupid.

Seonghwa shrugged, “Probably to throw up?”

Minho hummed, “Relax, Y/N. He’s just drunk”

Yongbok was still staring at you, but there was so much more to unpack when it came to him. You’re not sure how you could ever come to terms with that kiss, but you were glad he’d got you out of that horrible situation. 

San laughed, “That drink was fucking horrible. I don’t know how Hyunjin chugged it”

Seonmi nodded, “Hmm, and he couldn’t get out of here fast enough. Poor baby probably got sick”

You swallowed, staring at the circles that he’d made in the sand.

The thought of him being sick, made you sick.

He drank it to avoid kissing you, and now you felt guilty for it.

What was wrong with you?

“Maybe he’s like one of those… masochists, you know?” Seonghwa asked.

Eunbi rolled her eyes, “What the hell are you even saying?”

He shrugged, “I’m just saying…I certainly wouldn’t have made the same choice he did” 

Seonmi sat up straighter, eyes wide, “Should I go check if he’s okay?”

Minho passed her a glance, “He’s a big boy. I’m sure he can take care of himself”

“Yeah, but who will hold his hair back if he pukes?” Seonmi pouted.

Was she only worried now because you’d brought him up?

They certainly hadn’t seemed to care before.

San smirked, “As if that’s the reason you wanna go after him”

She shrugged, lips tugging up, “We’ll see what happens”

In any case, you felt sick to the stomach too.

So you stood up, holding your skirt down so it didn’t fly up into the wind. If you hadn’t felt insecure before for wearing this outfit, you certainly did now.

“I have to go” You mumbled, not in particular to anyone, but just because you didn’t want to walk off without a word. At least you told people you were going, so they wouldn’t be worried about you. Unlike him.

Yongbok’s gaze followed you, out of the circle, and then everybody began talking again.

It was reassuring that your internal drama hadn’t affected the dynamics of the game. You’d feel stupid for ruining someone else’s party with your unnecessary conflicts. 

You hated causing any kind of drama, and it was calming to know that the rest of the people in the circle didn’t give a second thought to why you also just up and left.

You’re sure they’d get back to dissing Seoul when you left anyway.

Maybe they just assumed you were going after Hyunjin — it was a natural train of thought to have since you’d been sticking together the entire night, but you weren’t sure what you were going to do.

You hope he was okay. 

As far as you knew, he hardly got drunk, and after chugging something like that, he must be feeling sick. He’d taken care of you before, when you weren’t even hurt, it was only fair that you check on him now.

Even if it had been your fault that he drank.

You’d taken off your sandals sometime during the game, but you couldn’t be bothered to wear them right now. It was a nice feeling, grounding almost, to feel the sand between your toes. 

You needed some niceness right now. 

Your steps were unsteady on the sand, and all of your emotions were skyrocketing, so you arrived to the conclusion that you must be drunk. You’d forgotten the feeling, because it had been a long time since you were last drunk, but you were uncomfortable, and sick and on the brink of tears, so this must be it.

There were many people still on the beach, even though it was almost three in the night. A boy was sitting in the sand, kissing a girl, arms caging her in. You couldn’t remember their names right now, maybe they were Yongbok’s friend from class, or maybe they were the people he’d met in a club. 

You were so distracted by the sight — as the girl’s hand trailed down his body, cupping his crotch over his jeans, right where everyone could see — that you bumped into someone.

His hand immediately came up to steady you, “Y/N, whoa, watch where you’re going”

It was Seungmin.

The drink in his cup sloshed over because of you, and you watched the liquid disappear within the particles of sand.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” You apologised, “I can get you a new drink”

“That’s okay Y/N, I was almost done anyway” He said, his hand still gripping your arm, so that you wouldn’t fall. His grip on you, was grounding too, and you were glad Kim Seungmin was here.

“Yeah. Sorry, I just…was in a hurry” You mumbled.

He chuckled, “Relax, Y/N. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just a drink”

You stared at the sand, and then up at him,  swallowing, “You’re having a good time, right? Is there anything you need?”

That was far from anything on your mind right now, but you were the host after all. This was what mattered.

He smiled, “I sure am, but are you?”

You nodded, shooting him a tight smile, but Seungmin knew you better than to fall for a fake smile, so you admitted, “I just feel a bit sick”

“You’re really drunk” He stated, eyeing you, and you felt embarrassed that he had to see you like this. 

“No, I’m just-”

“You’re looking for Hyunjin, right? Because I think I just saw him head insi-”

Someone suddenly grabbed you by the arm, turning you around. 

As if your world wasn’t already spinning, it took you a second to gather your bearings, and focus on who stood there, gripping onto you so tightly.

Yongbok.

Your best friend.

The birthday boy.

Why was he here?

He’d stepped out of the circle too. Glancing behind him, you saw that everyone had stopped playing the game, and the bottle lay to the side, as they talked amongst themselves. 

Your legs found their footing in the sand, at the same time that you found your voice, “Lix, what happened?”

Minho was looking in your direction, and he seemed worried, like something was wrong.

Well, a lot of things were wrong at the moment, but how could he possible know that?

“Seungmin, is it okay if I talk to Y/N? Alone?”

Seungmin smiled, holding his hands up, “Of course. She’s all yours, Yongbok”

You wonder what Felix wanted to say that couldn’t be said in front of Seungmin, but your throat felt dry, and it was tough to speak. 

He was staring at you, eyes full of concern, and he stepped closer, “Were you going to him?”

You blinked, “What?”

“To Hyunjin?”

His voice was unsteady as he said his name, and you couldn’t understand why he seemed so upset. 

Maybe he was just feeling sick too. His cheeks were still flushed, and his lips sparkled with your strawberry lipgloss. 

It was unnervingly distracting.

“No…I was just going to get some water, Lix, and…” You trailed off.

It was the truth. You did want to know if Hyunjin was okay, but you also felt embarrassed to be around him right now.

“Don’t go” 

Your eyes widened, “What?”

Out of all the things you thought Felix would say, you hadn’t anticipated that.

He sighed, “I…I missed you, earlier, and I just wanna spend some time with you”

His fingers slipped into your own, so simply, and his hands were smaller than Hyunjin’s, but they were familiar. You stared down at your interlocked hands, feeling like shit for suddenly craving something unfamiliar instead.

“Lix, I’m sorry but I don’t wanna play the game anymore…I’m really really tired”

He shook his head, face expressing much more than his words, and tugged you closer, “We don’t need to play the game. Just sit with me, in the sea, as we always do” 

He had never been like this with you before. Sure, he always asked you to do random stuff with him at random times, like going to get ice-pops or to the Creek at night, but right now, he was so sincere.

His eyes were tender, but full of thought, swirling with emotion.

This meant a lot to him.

All you wanted to do was sober up, and get some rest, but Yongbok meant a lot to you, so you could never say no to him.

“Hyunjin will be fine, he doesn’t need you to check on him” He added, as if he knew that’s what you needed to hear. 

You wonder how Yongbok could possibly know that though. 

What if Hyunjin wasn’t fine?

“Okay, but…is it all right if I get some water first? I had too much to drink” You asked him.

Felix sighed, closing his eyes, and then nodded lightly, “I’ll come with you”

He followed you to the Cabin, and as you pushed the door open, you realised the music was even louder now. You were also glad Yongbok had no neighbours for miles, or there would definitely be a noise complaint, and for good reason. 

You were not ready in the slightest, for the onslaught of sounds and sights that would greet you. You squinted, as if that would make the noise less, and made your way inside. The flashing lights which had seemed appealing before were now making you dizzy, and the playlist was on its fifth loop of the night, but nobody seemed to care. People were pressed up into each other, making out, or swaying to the music. 

Hana was in the middle of the dance floor, arms looped around Sam, as she kissed him. 

Well, you were glad at least one person’s night was going the way they wanted.

Sam’s hands rest on her hips, and her tongue slipped into his mouth, so you looked away. 

It was so easy for her to kiss just anyone. As far as you knew, she’d never found Sam from the diner particularly cute, and had never really talked about him before. Yet, she was possibly having the best time out of all of you, with no care for any other drama that had ensued.

Maybe you should be like that too.

Yongbok spotted her at the same time as you, and he rolled his eyes. There was really no subtlety as they were grinding against each other, but you honestly couldn’t blame her.

She seemed to enjoy it a lot.

Yongbok leaned in closer to you, so you could hear him over the pounding music, “Hold up, I’m gonna go talk to her”

“Right now?!” 

Yongbok had seemed so worried outside, mirroring how you felt. Now, he seemed right in his element at the party, adapting to the atmosphere around him as you saw him loosen up, and subconsciously sway, enjoying the music.

He smirked, “She didn’t even come to meet me yet! I’m gonna interrupt her little grinding. Go get some water, Y/N. I’ll see you here in a couple of minutes”

You didn’t want him to leave you alone, because you felt unsteady, and out of breath, and you couldn’t talk to anyone right now.

As he turned, you gripped his wrist, wanting to tell him this, “Yongbok-”

He looked at where you’d grabbed him, and then up at you, “Relax, Y/N. You can be by yourself for a few minutes”

“But I feel really - ” You began to say, but some random boy interrupted you.

“Yongbok, my man!” The boy yelled, so loudly, lifting Felix into a hug, making you leave your grip on him.

Felix laughed as the man spun him around, wishing him for his birthday. 

It didn’t seem like he was going to be able to come with you, neither should he. This was his party, and all of this was for him, so you should suck it for up for another ten minutes and be by yourself.

The boy handed Felix a shot, daring him to do it.

You sighed, splitting up from him as you headed to the kitchen.

Thankfully it was empty. 

Most of the food was over, and you couldn’t find the energy to prepare more, even if that just meant opening a new packet of wafers. 

Even a task as simple as that felt complex now.

You pushed your glass under the tap, watching it fill up, and your fingers were unsteady as the cup weighed down. 

You really were drunk. You hadn’t realised it, far too caught up in the excitement and adrenaline of the game. It felt like you were still surging on that shot of adrenaline, but too much of anything is bad, and you just wanted to calm down now.

You were glad you were the only one here though.

Being here gave you a respite from the loud music, so you stood for a minute, breathing in. 

You wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, and go to sleep. 

To go home, and to a place away from all of the noise. 

You don’t remember feeling this anxious before the game, maybe because you were talking to Hyunjin, and he distracted you from the chaos of the party.

When you’d been with him, you just felt…calm, even though ironically your heart had been pounding a million miles a minute.

Was that even possible? To be so nervous around someone, but so at peace at the same time?

You wonder where he was right now, and how he fit right into all this chaos.

You could imagine him being surrounded by a group of people, as he talked about his wonderful stories from the city. 

You could imagine him with a girl in his lap, tucked into a corner of the dance floor as they kissed. 

You could imagine him winning at a game of beer pong, and leaving this party with more fans of his in this town than ever before.

You hope that he too, like Hana, was making the most of tonight, even if it wasn’t with you.

As your cup filled up particularly slowly, you looked around the kitchen and the absolute mess it was. The countertop was sticky with spilled punch, and red solo cups were scattered all across the island. 

You thought about the many things that would make you feel better, that would calm you down and sober you up. Like being in Aera’s.

So, you picked up the cups, one by one, and stacked them next to each other, just like you would with the paint tubes back home.

Your hands were unsteady, but it felt good to organise something, and if Yongbok saw you right now, he’d think you were insane. 

You felt silly too perhaps, stood in that little dress, arranging every paper cup so it lined up neatly, while you were technically piss drunk. Still, your heart rate calmed down slightly, and that had been the purpose.

You turned around, to grab your own cup of water, and to turn off the tap. It had filled up to the brim, and that satisfied you. 

Every little action calmed you down, just a bit more.

A clatter of noise made you look up, and Park Seonghwa was kissing a girl, pushing her up against the kitchen counter, and in doing so, he knocked over the tower of red cups you’d just made.

“Fuck” He mumbled, eyes widening at the sound, and the mess, and at your presence, “Y/N, you’re here”

You wonder if the bottle had landed on Park Seonghwa, would he have been kissing you right now instead of that girl? Would that have calmed you down too? 

“Sorry, I made a mess” He sighed, cheeks flushing red.

“It’s okay” You spoke, stepping away, and over the scattered cups, “I’ll leave you two to it”

When you left the kitchen, you felt even dizzier than before. You couldn’t see Yongbok anywhere, just a hazy blur across the entire room.

You were supposed to go to the sea with him right now, and you were confused why he wasn’t here.

He’d told you to wait here, but he wasn’t here, and you were almost going to cry.

Someone bumped into you, dropping their drink on your top, and it was cold, and wet, and sticky and you hated it.

“Um, have you seen Yongbok?” You asked them, interrupting their slew of apologies for ruining your top.

“Oh, he’s just with a girl by the corner, they were doing shots” The person said, and then left before you could even ask which corner.

You glanced around, gaze tearing through the crowd, hoping to find Yongbok, and then you saw a flash of blonde to your left. 

Your heart jumped, and all the calm you’d just built up was out the window.

Hyunjin.

He wasn’t with a girl. 

He wasn’t surrounded by people. 

He wasn’t playing beer pong.

He was heading upstairs, by himself, like he was in a hurry.

He wasn’t part of the chaos, he was escaping it.

Why was he going there? 

Your heart made the decision for you before your head, and you stepped in his direction. 

You suddenly didn’t care that he didn’t kiss you, or that he drank, or that he walked out of the game.

You needed to make sure he was okay, and maybe if he was fine, you’d feel better too. 

The only person he really knew at this party was you. 

You thought about calling out for him but there’s no way he would be able to hear you and your hope dwindled. 

You wanted to go after him, but you’d promised Yongbok you’d meet him.

Still, you couldn’t see him anywhere, and you were in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by far too many people. 

You’d invited all of them to this party, but right now they were all just a blur of names and faces, and backstories that you couldn’t keep a track of.

“Hyunjin?” You called out in a pointless attempt, hoping he could hear you, but the music was too fucking loud, and your voice was too hoarse.

But then he turned around.

His eyes widened when he saw you, as if he wasn’t expecting you to come and talk to him.

You don’t know how he could have possibly even heard you, and it was stupid but it felt like something more. 

It felt like a taut string hung between the two of you, as you looked at each from across the party.

When your eyes met his, a wave of relief surged through you — something you’d never felt before, a kind of relief you never thought you could feel.

He was okay.

You think he was.

He didn’t seem sick, he just seemed tired.

This moment was reminiscent of when you’d been getting a heart drawn on your face, and he had been looking at you, but it was also different.

That earlier tension was replaced by something…a feeling you couldn’t pinpoint.

A feeling you couldn’t recognise.

But you felt it, all the way from your fingertips to your toes, a mixture of calm… and something more.

Something that almost felt like longing.

Hyunjin watched you across the room, and you saw a multitude of emotions cross his face.

He was always so expressive but you wish you could jump into his brain and know what he was thinking right now. 

For a second you thought that he’d go away again, just like he’d walked away from the game, but he didn’t.

Instead, he took a step towards you in a rush, like he was acting on instinct instead of thought. 

It was like he also knew that if he stopped to think about it, he’d make a different choice, and that was fine by you because you hated all of the choices he had made today.

If instinct is the thing that brought him closer to you, then you would always want him to act on that.

He was so fucking drunk, just like you, and he clearly wasn’t thinking straight, but he was headed straight to you, and that made your stomach twist, and wrench, and your insides were turning to mush the closer he came.

There were so many people in the way, and there was so much distance between the two of you, and you wish the cabin was smaller, so he could be right in front of you already.

It didn’t matter that he didn’t kiss you, or that he drank, or that he walked away. 

You felt an overwhelming urge to wrap your arms around him, and to spend the rest of the night in them, and you knew that you would feel better then. 

“Hyun?” You spoke, and your throat hurt but somehow it was also the easiest thing to say.

Before you could step towards him, Yongbok’s hand wrapped around your wrist, twisting you to face him.

“Lix” You steadied yourself, surprised he was back so quick. Where had he been this whole time? 

He’d already spoken to Hana and the boy? 

“What are you doing?” He asked you. You couldn’t actually hear him, but that’s what you think he said by the way his lips moved.

You swallowed, “Nothing, I was just-”

“Let’s go outside” He spoke, tugging you along with him, before you could even explain.

You glanced back at the staircase, but Hyunjin was gone now, and you had no idea what was suddenly wrong, but it felt like all of the music in the room was crushing you. 

As if the bass line of each song was pressing into your ribs, until you couldn’t breathe. It was too loud, and it was too much, and this is why you hated parties.

Felix was pulling you out of the cabin, and you were glad he did so because you could hardly have made your way to the door by yourself, but his grip on your wrist was too tight.

A part of you felt like you were a child being dragged away by their mom.

You’d promised him you’d go with him into the sea, and you had to keep the promise.

Stepping onto the porch, you took a deep breath before immediately downing the water you’d filled up. You were surprised there was still some left, after you’d crushed the fragile cup within your hands.

Yongbok sat down on the steps of the cabin, hands folded in his lap with an urgency that you couldn’t understand. 

“What happened?” He asked you, and he seemed strangely on edge. 

You swallowed, “Nothing, I just feel so fucking sick, Lix, please don’t let me drink again” 

“I told you to wait for me, Y/N” He mumbled.

“What?” 

He took in a breath, running his hands through his hair and you wonder if he was very drunk too.

“But obviously you got distracted” He added, under his breath.

“What do you mean?” You repeated, bracing yourself against the porch railing so you would stop feeling so dizzy.

“I was looking for you inside” He looked up at you.

He was?

But he was with Hana, and Sam, and the random loud boy who was spinning him around.

“I was just in the kitchen… getting some water, I was looking for you too when I came out” You answered him, but the look on his face was confusing you. 

He was annoyed by you, “No, you weren’t”

“What?” Your brows shot up, “I couldn’t see you anywhere, and you knew I was in the kitchen. Park Seonghwa was there too…with some girl, and when I came out-”

“Don’t lie to me, please” He sighed, turning away from you.

“I am not lying to you” You frowned, confused, “Why would I lie about that? You were talking to Hana and that boy anyway so-”

“You were going after Hyunjin, while I was looking around for you like a dumbass” He spoke.

You sat down on the step next to him,  “I didn’t know you were looking for me, I couldn’t see you anywhere. I thought you were drinking with someone else and-”

“I told you to wait for me, and that I’d be back in a few minutes”

You frowned, not wanting to call him out on this. You knew that he’d gotten distracted by all of the friends that he knew, and that’s why he wasn’t there when you came out, “I did wait for you, Felix”

“No, you didn’t. Don’t lie to me, Y/N”

“Yongbok, what...? I’m not lying. I was right there, trying to find you, but then I saw him, and I just thought you must be with Hana”

“I didn’t talk to Hana. She was too…wasted”

“Oh...okay. I hope she’ll be okay tomorrow… I’m glad Sam’s with her”

He looked at you, “Really? Do you really care about Hana right now? Or me? Because to me, it feels like you organised this whole party just so you’d have an excuse to spend time with Hyunjin”

Your heart dropped.

“What?”

You were even more confused now. 

His face was flushed red, and you realised he was so drunk too. You hope that’s the only reason he would say something like that to you.

“I just want to spend some time with you, Y/N” Felix laughed, sarcastically, “Sorry if that’s asking too much. You can talk to Hyunjin later, or any other time that you want” 

You frowned, “But I didn’t talk to him…I just saw him, and then-”

“You would have if I didn’t stop you”

“I wanted to know if he was okay, Felix. Everyone said he was sick, I was worried” 

You touched his arm so he would look at you, but he pulled it away. 

You felt so confused.

He sighed, “I’m not stupid, you know?”

“What are you-”

“I know that Hyunjin’s from the city, and he’s famous and attractive, so you want to spend time with him-”

“What the hell are you even talking about? I did this party for you, I…” You stopped, to catch your breath and there was no loud music here but you still felt like you were being crushed.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, “I can’t believe you would think that it’s not for you. I spent so much time planning it”

He looked at you, “Planning it with him, right?”

You couldn’t believe or even comprehend what he was insinuating.

How could he think that the reason you spent weeks of your life planning this party, was instead some sorry excuse to spend time with Hyunjin?

Why would you even need an excuse to hang out with him in the first place?

You sighed, “That was because he was the only one who wanted to help me. Minho and Hana didn- ”

“Of course he was. There’s no surprise there” He mumbled.

He was so upset at you. 

You tried to keep your voice steady because you’d never seen him like this before, “I don’t even know what you’re trying to say, Yongbok or what this conversation is about. I was going to ask him if he was all right, because I left the kitchen, and then I saw him. It would have taken a second, and you were with your friends anyway” 

“Oh my god, he’s okay, Y/N! You don’t need to check on him every few seconds, he’s not a fucking baby!”

You flinched at his tone, and the sharpness of his words. 

It was too loud again.  

He’d never talked to you like this before, so you didn’t know to react.

He was with his friends doing fucking shots, but he spoke like you’d abandoned him in the middle of a party.

If anything, you were the one who felt out of place, surrounded by people only he knew. 

How could he be mad at you for wanting to talk to the one person you knew?

He laughed, “And you really wanna go after him, after he embarrassed you like that in front of everyone?”

“That’s just a stupid game. He’s our friend. I was worried…” 

Felix wasn’t even looking at you right now, and your heart physically hurt because you couldn’t understand what led to this happening.

You didn’t know what to say, or what he would want to hear that would make it better. 

So you said the one thing you knew would make it fine, that you said to anyone who ever got upset at you and things would always be okay after you said it. 

Like with Hana, or your ex, or Yongbok right now.

“Okay. You’re right. I’m so sorry, Felix. It was… my fault. I shouldn’t have done that”

He sighed, burying his face in his hands, “Yeah, it was”

You nodded, chest hurting at his agreement.

He breathed in, and then smiled, “Never mind. Forget whatever I said, can we go into the sea now?”

You blinked, not understanding his sudden change in emotion or tone.

“Felix. What is going on?”

His smile was insincere, eyes still tense, “I just missed you. Sorry about the outburst… I just felt stupid inside…asking around about you, when I should’ve known you’d be with him”

You frowned. You weren’t really even with him, but it seemed like Felix didn’t want to believe that.

You grabbed his hand, “Just tell me what’s wrong, Lix. I don’t want you to be upset because of me” 

He chuckled, and then took in a deep breath, “Okay. You want to talk about it?”

“Yeah”

“Then let’s talk about it. Why do you care about him so much?”

You blinked, not expecting him to ask you something like that, “What? Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because he’s some fucking rich idol from Seoul! I thought we hated shit like that, Y/N”

You frowned, “What he does in the city...is not who he is, Lix. We hated shit like that when we were kids, you can’t just dislike everything that anymore”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I do. When he was with Hana, sure that was… whatever. She wanted some hot rebound and he was there, but now you’re…you’re spending time with him everyday”

You sighed, “This is exactly why I asked you if you’re okay with him coming to the party, Lix. You could’ve just told me before you didn’t want him here”

He sighed, “Well, I didn’t wanna upset you”

“You’re upsetting me now, Lix…I’m so confused”

He looked at you, “When we were inside, if I hadn’t stopped you, and if Hyunjin told you that he wasn’t okay, would you have stayed with him until he was?”

You frowned, “What?”

“Would you have?”

“I don’t know…”

“That’s the problem, Y/N. Do you think he would do the same for you?”

Before you could even answer, Felix cut you off again, “No, he wouldn’t. He hasn’t known you all your life”

“What are you trying to say?” 

“I’m saying that…you’re too fucking nice, Y/N. To every person. Some people can take that for granted, or take advantage of that”

You stared at him, trying to understand his words, or to even read between the lines, but all you could say in response was, “Hyunjin is not taking advantage of…anything, Felix”

Felix shook his head, “You don’t think it’s weird? Why is he back in town all of a sudden? What about his job? His friends? Does he even have any?”

“Yeah, he does. Jisung, and Chan and-”

“I don’t care about them” Felix interrupted you, “I care about you”

Your head was spinning again, and what made it worse was how calmly Felix was talking, contradictory to the words that he spoke.

Why were you still talking about Hyunjin?

You breathed in, trying desperately to not cry at how frustrated you felt by this conversation.

You spoke, “Then why do you care about why Hyunjin is back in town? Or about his life?”

“You don’t think it’s strange that he put his entire career on hold like that? You don’t think it’s possible that he messed up somehow?” He asked. 

The words that he spoke felt thought-out, and rehearsed. Like he’d thought this in his head a million times, and was only choosing to speak them now, and that made everything worse.

Why did he care so much about Hyunjin?

You shook your head, “No. I don’t think it’s strange, and I don’t care. You didn’t seem to care either about all of this when he was dating Hana, then why is it suddenly bothering you now?”

“Hana can take care of herself”

“And I can’t?”

Felix took in a deep breath, “Never mind. I just thought I was your best friend, Y/N”

“You are”

“Then why are you lying to me?” He asked.

“Lying to you about what?”

He looked right at you, as if wondering if he should say this.

“I know he’s the boy from the art store”

Your eyes widened, stomach twisting at his words, “What?”

Felix laughed, “He is, isn’t he? That’s why you care about him so much”

“How…how do you know that?”

How could anybody possibly know that? 

You were the only one who’d seen Hyunjin that day, since Yongbok had been waiting for you outside the shop.

He shrugged, turning to look ahead, at the waves, “Just a feeling. I didn’t know for sure, but the way you look at him, I’ve never seen you look at anybody like that. Then I realised, the last time you’ve been this fascinated with someone, it was…that stranger, at Aera’s…all those years ago”

“Oh”

“At the diner before, when Minho brought him up, your so-called ‘summer romance’” Felix laughed at the term, “You got tense…and I like to think I know you very well. It was easy to figure it out then”

Felix had said it, out loud, and as his words callously floated in thin air around you, it became real.

You’d known this all along, but to have him say it like that made it the truth.

It wasn’t your overactive imagination, it wasn’t you making connections where they didn’t exist. 

Hyunjin was that boy.

Yongbok knew that too.

But what did that have to do with anything?

“You can’t just be obsessed with some fantasy you had as a teenager, Y/N! I mean, that’s fucking crazy. I know you’re sentimental, but can you not see everything that’s wrong with this?”

You knew what he was trying to say, you just wish he had a point. 

The stranger at Aera’s was supposed to remain just that — A fantasy. A passing daydream. A boy you saw once in a lifetime. 

It wasn’t supposed to mean anything or have consequences, just like that stupid game.

But now it was real. He was a real person, and he was here.  

Maybe Yongbok wasn’t okay with that.

“I’m sorry” You spoke, squeezing his hand, “I’m sorry for not telling you. I just didn’t want…to make things weird”

He smiled at you, mood shifting so drastically that it gave you whiplash, “It’s okay, Y/N. I get why you didn’t. I mean, he’s your friend now right? So that’s got to be awkward”

“Yeah”

“Does he know?”

You shook your head, “No, I doubt he remembers me, and it doesn’t matter anyway”

Felix hummed, “His loss, then”

You nodded, chest squeezing. 

“Are you okay, Lix?” You asked him, running circles over his palm, “I’m sorry for not telling you. I just…didn’t think it was important. That was years ago, and it’s not significant”

“I’m sorry too, I think I had too much to drink” He mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face, “I got really upset… I guess it’s obvious that out of all the people at this party, I only want to stay with you. I don’t care...about all of those people inside, I mean, yeah they’re lovely but...I was looking forward to tonight because of you”

You smiled, “I hope nobody heard you say that, or you owe everyone a lot of train tickets”

He laughed at your words, turning to face you, “Sorry...about that. I just...got worried when I couldn’t find you, inside”

You sighed, placing your hand on his arm, “I’m fine, Lix. What’s gonna happen to me anyway? Your friends from baking class are not gonna kidnap me”

He looked at you, gulping, “Yeah. Just...thought I lost you”

You frowned, and it felt like his words ran deeper than how he said them.

Parties always put you on edge. Perhaps that’s why the both of you had stopped going to them, choosing to have quieter nights in the theatre instead. 

He breathed, pulling you to stand up, “Anyway, can we please go into the sea right now? Can we forget this happened?”

“Yongbok…”

“Just for tonight. Please?” He pleaded, feeling embarrassed from the sudden outburst. 

There was so much more you wanted to ask him, based on all of the things he’d said in the conversation, but now was not the time. 

You do remember, at the start, how Yongbok had hinted that he wasn’t okay with someone new joining into the group. You thought he’d moved past that now though, since they seemed to be getting along so well.

It’s like all of his emotions were heightened after the kiss you’d shared, or maybe it was all of the drinks. 

Regardless, you’d find a day to discuss this with him later, to figure out why he suddenly seemed to be wary of Hyunjin, or if any of this was even about Hyunjin in the first place.

“I’m sorry about the argument, let’s not ruin a perfectly good night"

You nodded, “We should talk about this later though”

"Just promise to stay by my side, tonight, Y/N?”

It was almost morning anyway, but you nodded, “I promise, Lix”

There was so so much on your mind, but maybe right now all you needed to do was push it aside. You’d already possibly ruined his birthday with that argument, and you’d feel horrible for ruining it much more.

He smirked then, looking out at the sea, “Bet I can get there faster than you”

With just that millisecond of a warning, Yongbok took off, towards the ocean, spraying sand behind him as he ran.

You gasped, “You fucking cheated!”

He laughed at your words, his shirt flying up around him, and you ran after him, stumbling through all of the sand. This skirt really wasn’t made for running.

He jumped into the sea, water sloshing around his knees and gestured for you to hurry up. 

It really was fucking cold now, and you were freezing, especially while running against the wind, but Yongbok was laughing, and it made you feel a bit better. 

You never wanted to see him upset like that again, especially at you.

You giggled, following him into the sea, till the waves came to your ankles, making you jump.

The water was freezing cold, like Hyunjin had said. 

You shook that thought away, just as quickly as it had come. 

The sand engulfed your feet, as the water pulled back out. 

Felix’s loud laughter rang through your ears, and he ran up, dirty blonde hair blowing back in the wind. 

You realised that whoever from the party was still up and out at the beach would think you were a bunch of kids, but it was okay. 

This is what Felix wanted to do, so you would do it for him.

You laughed, “What are you doing?”

He was smirking, and before you could register what his plan of action was, Felix all but tackled you, wrapping his arms around you. You squealed as you crashed into the sand, falling on top of him.

“What the hell Yongbok!” You cried, as a wave rushed you, drenching you completely. You spit out the water in your throat, and sat up, supporting yourself by keeping your hands on his chest.

“I’m sorry!” He chuckled, “I just had to take you down”

He was still giggling, looking up at you, and you didn’t know how he could still talk with all the saltwater in his mouth and eyes.

“I’m fucking soaked!”

He laughed, blinking comically, “Hey, at least you didn’t get all that water in your eyes”

“It was your bright idea to jump into the sea fully-clothed”

“Well, you’re welcome to take off your clothes”

“Shut up” You rolled your eyes, shoving him. 

He caught your hand in his wrist, “I’m kidding, sorry”

You shifted away, bringing your knees up to sit comfortably. The water only reached till your waist, but because of his actions, you were dripping wet anyway.

“Hana’s gonna fucking kill me” You realised, adjusting the strings around your stomach.

“Relax, you can throw them in the dryer when we go back inside”

You stared at him, and he laughed. His black shirt was dripping wet, and so were his jeans, and you didn’t even want to imagine how uncomfortable that was.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing denim in the water” You pointed out.

He shrugged, "Who knows when we’ll get to come out here again?”

He was right, so you sighed, sitting cross-legged to appreciate the view.

He stretched his legs out, and leaned back on his hands, staring at the sea, and the moon. 

Your head was still spinning, but every wave of water awakened you, till you felt numb to the coldness and the dizziness.

Last time you’d done this, you’d been in swimsuits instead, and had swam out with Minho, and Hana, and…Yeonjun.

You missed Yeonjun too, and you wish he could have been here. A part of you wondered if Felix would even be okay with that. 

It was Yeonjun that had been the centre of your group, the balance, the one that kept everything going, and ever since he left, everything had been…strange.

You missed him a lot and you almost wanted to text him, but tonight was about Felix. 

Felix was the first one to speak after a while, “So, rate me”

“What?” You glanced at him. 

Rate him on what?

He looked back at you, smiling, “Rate me. Scale of 1-10. How was the kiss?”

You laughed, “What?”

He was looking at you expectantly, big eyes, pout on his face.

“You’re not serious, are you?”

He frowned, “Okay, the longer you take to answer me, the more worried I get”

Your eyes widened, “Um, okay. I wasn’t expecting this question, but…a nine”

Felix immediately scowled, lips pursing, “Why not a ten?”

You rolled your eyes, “Nine is so good, Lix! Don’t be greedy”

“You’re being a little bitch, I hope you know. You don’t think that kiss was perfect?”

You sighed, fiddling with the strings, “I don’t know. It was pretty good, but it was weird…don’t you think so?”

He stared at you, nodding, “Cause we’re friends?”

“Yeah” You looked up at him, “I mean you’re a great kisser but I guess I was taken aback”

He looked out at the sea again, “I guess”

You grabbed his arm, “Rate me then”

“7.5”

“What? You asshole!” You pushed him, and he laughed, falling into the sand, “That's…you’re, an asshole! A traitor. You were begging me for that 1 point, but you took 3 points off for me?”

He grinned, “2.5 technically! You really should get better at math”

You frowned, sitting up on your knees, a wave of insecurities hitting you, “You think I’m a terrible kisser?”

“No, I just think that your heart wasn’t into it”

Your eyebrows shot up, “What? I mean…it was a ten second kiss for a game. How could my heart be into it?”

He pouted, in pretend hurt, making his voice all whiney, “So, you don’t love me then?”

You sighed, reaching to grab his hand, “Of course I love you, I told youu…it’s weird. I wasn’t really ready”

Felix seemed convinced, but he had an amused smile on his face, “Hmm”

“But that still doesn’t justify a 7.5, you know that I’m gonna be thinking of that forever!” You crossed your arms.

Felix laughed, “Well…my rating is subject to change”

You giggled, looking at him in disbelief, “What, you mean if we ever kiss again?”

He smirked, “Yup, maybe you’ll change my mind”

You laughed, “You’re…you’re asking me to kiss you?”

Felix immediately giggled, holding his hands up in surrender, “No. I never said that. You said that. I’m just informing you that my rating isn’t…set in stone”

You stared at him, wondering what his problem was.

“I’m not a bad kisser, Felix” You told him.

You sat back down, crossing your arms, as Felix watched you, still smiling.

He chuckled, “I’ll just take your word for it then”

You sighed, placing your palms in the sticky sand, “It’s been a long time since I’ve…done that”

“Kissed someone?”

“Yeah”

“When was the last time? Was it Mingyu?”

You looked up at the moon now, thinking back to it, “I think it was. He’s the last boy I went on a date with”

Felix laughed, “That was a disaster…”

You groaned, remembering your ex boyfriend, “God, it really was, wasn’t it? He didn’t even show up to half the dates I planned!” 

You’d only casually dated Mingyu for a few months, so you weren’t sure if he could count as an ex, but regardless, he had…not been a great boyfriend. 

Thinking on it, your love life was absolutely fucking terrible. You’d only ever dated two boys, Jaechan was your first, but he’d broken up with you after realising he had feelings for someone else. Obviously, he only told you this after you found them kissing by The Creek.

You remember how much that had hurt, and you remember thinking it was your fault, but right now…it just felt like nothing.

That was a long time ago, and your past relationships were kind of embarrassing, so it was easier to bury them away and pretend they never happened. 

It was easier to focus on your art, and maybe one day you’d fall in love with someone for real, and it would be worth it.

Your thoughts were drifting away again, but Felix’s hand on your thigh brought you back to reality, “Mingyu was an asshole”

“No…I was just being selfish”

You felt Felix’s stare on you.

“What? I was selfish. I planned this whole ass date that he didn’t even care about, remember how much I always wanted to go to those wine and paint events?”

“Hmm, and then The Château finally held one”

You hummed, gathering sand within your hands to make a little castle, “So of course, I thought it’d be perfect for a date! I mean, we can paint next to each other and get super drunk on wine. How was I supposed to know Mingyu can’t stand art…”

“He was dating an artist, he should have expected that”

“It was my fault though. I should’ve just got us tickets to a movie…instead of some super expensive event” You let out a groan, “Ah, I can’t believe I wasted my entire months’ allowance just to get stood up”

Felix sighed, “If I could paint, I would have gone with you…but…”

“But you hate everything about those events” You mumbled, as a wave destroyed the castle you’d just made.

Felix smirked, “What’s there to like? The cheap wine, the rich city people or the horrible smell of paint?”

You laughed, “I guess that’s why Mingyu stood me up too…”

“So, you really haven’t kissed anyone since him?”

You glanced at him, “You would have known if I had”

“I know, but sometimes you keep things from me”

You swallowed, grabbing more sand within your hands to build again, “Oh this all reminds me, I still need to give you your birthday gift!”

Felix tilted his head, “Oh, so that seven-out-of-ten kiss wasn’t it?”

“Shut up! It was 7.5” You corrected him as he laughed, “But no, I have something else planned. I’m really, really excited for it”

He laughed, building a moat around your castle, which also immediately flooded with water.

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is, Y/N” He smiled.

“No, really, like it’s the coolest thing in the world” You told him, “We have to go to the next town for it though”

“Okay” He hummed, as your sand castle got washed out again. 

You gave up on it, and turned to face him, “Did you talk to everyone at the party? You had fun?”

He smiled, and then leaned closer, tucking your hair back, “Yeah, I did. What’s on your cheek?”

“Oh…nothing. Eunbi really wanted to draw on me, so…she did” You said, reaching up to subconsciously trace the heart on you cheekbone. 

“Did Eunbi draw on Hyunjin too?”

You flushed, “Um…no I did”

“Ah, that’s why it’s so terrible”

You scowled at his insult, “I was trying to draw a star, but I completely failed…” 

He laughed, “Why a star?”

You shrugged, “No reason…maybe cause he’s literally a star…and he kind of reminds me of them too, I guess”

“Hyunjin reminds you of the stars?”

You didn’t want to talk about him right now, and you rubbed away the little heart from your cheek, “Yeah…anyway. An attempt was made, so now it’s a stupid blue line. He’s probably scrubbing it off right now as we speak!”

Felix trailed his finger down your bare arm, ignoring your words, “Are you cold, Y/N?” 

“Just a bit”

“Come here” He opened his arms, gesturing you to come closer.

“Felix…” You laughed, not really wanting to hug someone who was dripping with wet denim.

“Come on” He giggled.

“Fine” You snuggled up to him, resting your head on his chest as you watched the ocean, and tried to forget everything that had just happened.

»»————-

Yongbok had passed out well into the early hours of the morning. 

Hand over his eyes, he lay sprawled across the couch, and you couldn’t imagine how he managed to sleep in wet jeans, but alas…he had been drunk.

You’d asked him to change into the pair of pyjamas you all brought, but he was far too tired and when you’d helped him stumble all the way to the couch, you’d been too tired to protest as well.

Most of the people had left, taking the 5 am train back, including Seungmin. He had a work day, unlike you. 

You picked up a discarded paper cup, adding to the stack of used cups in your hand. 

You weren’t sure where the rest of your friends were. 

So, you were alone in the cabin, as the sun rose, stood amongst an absolute mess, but it was okay. 

You would clean it up.

Something bumped into your feet, and you turned to see the kitten Minho had been playing with yesterday. 

She was light-grey in color, and so beautiful.

You smiled at her, bending down to her height.

“Hey, cutie” You mumbled, “Looks like it’s just you and me here”

She purred, moving closer to you, poking her nose into the red cup in your hands.

You laughed, pulling it back, “I think it’s far too early for you to drink”

The kitten jumped up, and she was so adorable, your heart melted.

You wonder where she’d gone during the party. 

“Where were you last night, baby?” You asked her, tickling under her chin, surprised how quickly she’d warmed up to you.

“Are you talking to yourself, Y/N?” Yongbok groaned loudly, and you jumped.

You looked up, as he stirred on the couch, almost falling off, “You’re up! Happy birthday, Lixie!”

His eyes were screwed shut and he sat up, “I feel very far from happy”

“Oh no. Hungover?” You asked.

He nodded, burying his head in his hands, “My head is pounding”

“Get some more sleep. The train isn’t until an hour” You told him.

He finally opened his eyes to look at you, “Ah, are you…cleaning?”

You nodded, standing up straight and the kitten ran over to Yongbok.

“You don’t have a hangover?” He asked, ignoring the cat as she tried to jump on him. 

You weren’t sure how awake he even was.

“Well, technically…I didn’t sleep, so I guess I’m still drunk” You joked.

“You didn’t sleep?” A voice interrupted you.

You flipped to see Minho and Hyunjin come down the stairs. Hana was just behind them.

Minho had been the one to ask you that question. 

You suddenly felt conscious.

They’d all showered, and got changed, and you envied how well-rested they looked. 

Yet you stood here in your little black skirt, still in your party outfit, feet aching.  

Hyunjin…was a sight for sore eyes. He looked so warm, and comfortable, in his grey sweatpants and shirt. His hair was wet from the shower, falling into his face, as he made his way downstairs.

You’d been standing right where you had yesterday, looking at each other, but right now that felt like it had all been in your head.

He wasn’t even looking at you.

The party felt like a fever dream, because it had been so crowded last night, and there was no space to breathe. 

If last night, you’d felt like you were underwater, struggling to breathe among the crowd, right now you felt like you were in outer space.

There was too much space.

It felt too empty, and the contrast was unfitting, and the distance between the two of you was too great.

You wish you could just go back to the moment, to when his eyes had been on yours.

You thought that cleaning up the place would help, to organise everything, and hopefully organise your thoughts as well. It didn’t help though and the more space you physically created, the more empty you felt.

You’d replayed your conversation with Yongbok in your head a million times, and you still couldn’t figure out how it escalated so much to the point that you were arguing.

And about Hyunjin, of all people?

You wish Yongbok had given you a chance to explain, and you wish that he’d also given you a chance to go talk to him, and make sure he was okay.

Was Hyunjin avoiding you because you’d left last night? Did he think that you didn’t care about him? Or did he not care about you anymore?

Hyunjin stepped past Minho to get to the refrigerator, keeping his head down.

“Y/N?” Minho asked, bringing you back to the present, “You really didn’t sleep, huh?”

“Yeah, I didn’t” You cleared your throat, “Someone had to clean up the cabin, or Yongbok’s uncle is never gonna let us come here again”

“So you decided to clean by yourself?” Hana asked, hopping onto the counter.

You bent down to pick up another cup.

Yongbok yawned loudly, “God, I’m tired as fuck”

“You should take a shower, birthday boy” Hana scrunched her nose, “Wait. Did you two go into the sea in those clothes?”

“No” You both said immediately.

Hana’s brows shot up, “You should get changed too, Y/N, unless you’re planning on wearing that in the train?”

You nodded, discarding the cups into a garbage bag, “Yeah, I’ll change”

“You literally didn’t sleep? Not even for a minute?” Minho asked, as he bent down to pet the kitten.

“Yeah, I’ll sleep when we get home” You looked up at the fairy lights, wondering how to possibly get them down and packed before you had to leave.

“Then did you at least get lucky last night?” Hana asked, grabbing an abandoned packet of chips.

You glanced at her, not wanting to have this discussion right now, “Can you pass me another garbage bag, Hana?”

Hana cooed, “I take that as a ‘Yes, Hana, I got fucked senseless last night, thanks for giving me this sexy dress’”

All of the boys were listening to this conversation, and you felt embarrassed.

You flushed, “Hana…It’s seven a.m”

“So? If my best friend gets railed, I need to know” 

“I didn’t” You said immediately.

“But you two sure seemed cozy on the beach last night” Minho added, gesturing to Yongbok.

“Oh, so you took my advice?” Hana asked you.

“What advice?” Felix asked, getting up to stretch.

“Nothing” You replied, not wanting Hana to say something that could be potentially embarrassing for you, “Can you please pass me that bag?”

Maybe you wouldn’t mind having this discussion any other time, but not now…

Hyunjin was by the corner, reaching up to take down the lights, but he could still hear everything. You wish he wasn’t listening. 

You wish he put on the big-ass headphones he carried everywhere.

“What advice?” Felix egged on, by the amused expression on Hana’s face.

“I told her to kiss you” She smiled.

Felix laughed, “Fuck, really? You did?”

“I mean, I told her to sleep with you…”

“Gross” Minho commented, helping Hyunjin in taking down the lights.

“Well, nothing happened Hana, so don’t get excited. It was for the game” Felix told her, smiling.

“What game?” Hana asked, looking between you all.

“Spin the bottle” 

“You’re kidding me! You guys actually played it? So who all did you kiss, Y/N?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

You focused on the trash in your hands, instead of her question.

“Just Felix” Minho replied, peeling off the tape from the fairy-lights.

Hyunjin picked up the empty beer bottles now, looking everywhere except at you.

Your heart squeezed in your chest.

Ouch.

You should never have agreed to play that game. Things were fine before, but then what the fuck was that moment you’d had with him before Yongbok had dragged you away?

“I can’t believe I missed that!” Hana cried, “How was it?”

Felix laughed, “I mean…Y/N is a good kisser, if that’s what you wanna know”

“She is?”

You wish he didn’t bring up the 7.5 rating, at least not right now.

Felix hummed, heading to the stairs, “Hmm. Different from how I thought”

“What? You’ve imagined kissing Y/N before?”

“I mean, haven’t we all?” Felix laughed, “Like…with each other”

“So, you’ve imagined kissing me, too?” Minho asked Felix.

“No, just the girls” Felix rolled his eyes.

“I did kiss Hyunjin last night” Minho spoke, and you saw Hyunjin tense up. 

Hana gasped, “Fuck off! Did you use tongue? He’s a great fucking kisser”

“It would be weird to use tongue on his cheek, Hana” Minho laughed.

“His cheek? Ah, you’re no fun” Hana sighed.

“Can we please clean up, guys?” You spoke, interrupting a discussion you didn’t wanna be a part of.

Minho nodded instantly, possibly noticing the discomfort, “All right, Y/N’s right, but you need to take a shower, and we’ll have cleaned up by the time you’re back”

“Really?” You stared at him, “You guys will clean up?”

“Of course. Is that hard to believe?”

“You’ve never done that before” You pointed out.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything” Hana smiled.

So, you nodded, leaving them to clean, so you could finally get out of this outfit.

»»————-

Minho had kept his promise, surprisingly, and by the time you came back down, the Cabin looked as clean as it could right now. 

You felt much better, after getting into your pyjamas, but your head still hurt. You couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation with Yongbok last night.

It felt like it came out of nowhere.

Why did he suddenly have so many problems with everything?

If Yongbok truly felt this way, he should have told you before. You wouldn’t have invited Hyunjin if that made him uncomfortable. 

Unfortunately for you, the time you’d spent with Hyunjin last night had been your favourite.

But Yongbok…his words made it sound like you were obsessed, and clinging on to some teenage fantasy.  It wasn’t like that, was it?

You were questioning everything you felt about Hyunjin — after your pointless realisation that you’d wanted to kiss him, and after the things Yongbok had said to you.

Sure, you were curious too, about a lot of aspects of Hyunjin’s life, but he told you so much. He told you stuff you didn’t even ask for, about his friends, about his life, about his art, and that was more than enough for you. 

Why couldn’t it be enough for Felix? It’s not like Hyunjin knew everything about your life either.

You don’t think it mattered.

You were drawn to him ever since he’d been back in town, and maybe it was because he was shrouded in some cloud of mystery, and he looked like he’d stepped out of some fairytale fantasy.

But the mystery was gone now, mostly, and you still loved every conversation you had with him.

Why did Felix even care so much?

You shouldn’t be too surprised.

He’d acted the same when Yeonjun had left. You’d been shocked back then, at how quickly he’d cut off all contact with him, as if they weren’t the best of friends before.

If you went to the city, would he start hating you too?

You shook away that pointless thought too.

When you came down the steps, everybody was sitting around the living room, tired, and hungover. The kitten was perched in Minho’s lap, Hana was scrolling through her phone, and Yongbok was laughing at a story she told.

Hyunjin wasn’t sitting with them.

For a split second, you though he’d left again, or taken an earlier train so he didn’t have to sit with you.

But then your gaze fell on him, and he stood behind the kitchen island.

His tall frame was bent over, eyes pinched in concentration as he neatly wrapped the fairy-lights into little bunches. 

Your heart melted, because you hadn’t asked anybody to do that, and you’d been meaning to do it yourself. 

It was the kind of attention to detail that only Hyunjin possessed.

His hair was still dripping wet, and falling into his eyes but he made no effort of pushing it back.

You were also so glad that he hadn’t left, even though he was clearly uncomfortable being here.

“And then Sam threw up!” Hana laughed, “He obviously drank way too much”

“The punch was too fucking strong, Y/N wants to kill us” Minho sighed.

“I think it was pretty good” Hyunjin spoke softly, still focused on separating the string of lights.

“Of course you would say that if Y/N made it” Minho rolled his eyes, and then his gaze fell on you, “Oh, here she is”

Hyunjin immediately looked up at you, mouth parting. 

He hadn’t realised you were here.

Instead of looking relieved, he tensed up, hands freezing in their actions, and he looked away from you as quickly as he had looked up.

You should have never played that game.

So, you tore your gaze away too, to look at a smiling Yongbok. 

“See, we cleaned up well, you didn’t have faith in us, did you?” He asked, and he looked so happy, and innocent. 

It was such a contrast from the version of him last night. A part of you thought you’d made that entire argument up.

You hummed, “Well, you surprised me”

He smiled, “You know, as far as birthday mornings go, waking up to my beautiful best friend playing with a kitten is easily my favourite”

“Gross. Please go make out somewhere else” Hana mumbled.

Yongbok laughed, his words sharp but soft, “Shut up Hana, we’re just talking”

“You do know that a boy can be nice to someone without being interested in her?” Minho asked her, sarcastically.

He was right, which is why you didn’t care about the choice Hyunjin had made.

He was still the same person you knew, even if he chose to drink instead, even if it had hurt you in the moment.

You just wish he wasn’t completely avoiding you right now.

“Oh, thank you for enlightening me, Lee Minho. As if Yongbok would ever be that nice to anybody other than Y/N” Hana retorted.

“Come onn, the train is in twenty minutes” Felix stood up, grabbing his duffel bag.

You grabbed yours too, wanting so badly to just talk about what happened last night.

The alcohol was still running through your system, putting you on edge.

There was an unspoken tension. 

Felix was avoiding Hyunjin, and they hadn’t even looked at each other once. It all greatly felt like your fault, and you felt like you were back in time.

To the time when Yeonjun had told you he was leaving.

The tension back then had been so loud, and right now it was subdued and you think this was worse.

Like they were pretending everything was okay, when it clearly wasn’t.

You stepped out to the doorway, and the kitten ran after you. She nuzzled her head against your leg. Even though you’d been annoyed at Minho for bringing her in last night, you didn’t want to part with her yet.

You bent down to her height, to pet her one last time before you left and she mewled under your sleeve. 

A familiar pair of white shoes stepped in front of you.

Shit. You were in the way.

“Sorry” You mumbled, standing up, coming up too close to his figure.

A duffel bag hung over his shoulder, tired eyes. 

You stepped aside, so he could leave, but he looked down at the cat, and then up at you.

“Hey” Hyunjin spoke.

“Um, hi” You replied, unsure what happened, and surprised why he was suddenly speaking to you.

His eyes searched yours, and he was stood so quietly you wonder if he even had anything to say.

“Um, I wanted to know if you…” He trailed off, adjusting the weight of the bag, “I wanted to know if we’re sitting together? On the journey back?”

You blinked, “Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to sit with me or anything”

His brows furrowed, “Have to?”

“Yeah…” You nodded, “You don’t need to, if that makes you uncomfortable or anything”

He seemed confused, instead of relieved, but you weren’t sure why. 

You’d just done him a favour. 

He probably felt the requirement to sit with you, since that was how it had been on the way here, and he was always so nice so you were just letting him off the hook.

“Plus, you’re sitting with me, right, love? ” Yongbok interrupted, arm reaching across your shoulder. You glanced at him. 

He smiled at you, bright and happy.

Hyunjin cleared his throat, gaze shifting over the two of you, “I’ll see you in Daejon then, I guess”

Your heart squeezed, wanting to immediately ask him what was wrong, but he was already walking away now, in a hurry.

Did he hate you now? 

Felix smiled at you, “Perfect. I can’t wait to be bored by all of your art stories”

You nodded, returning his smile briefly, eyes still on Hyunjin.

He stepped down the porch, into the sand, and onto the gravel path.

As he did so, he pushed his hair behind his ear.

Your eyes widened, freezing in place as you caught a glimpse of his face.

Hyunjin had changed out of his clothes from last night. He’d clearly taken a shower, and his hair still was dripping wet. His face was fresh, and he’d obviously scrubbed away at his skin in the morning.

There’s no way he forgot.

A bright blue line ran down his cheekbone.

It felt intentional.

He hadn’t erased it.

Your failed attempt of a little star, was still on his cheek.

»»————-

You dreaded the week after the party. 

After a horrible hangover, and hours of restless sleep, you would have to go into work.

You loved work, except it had been a long fucking time since you’d last felt inspired.

And when you weren’t inspired, being at Aera’s was torturous. It was miserable, to be surrounded by everything you could ever dream of, but still not be able to do anything.

It was a feeling you knew far too well.

Hyunjin hadn’t talked to you in a few days, and at this point, you weren’t even sure if he was avoiding you, or if you were avoiding him.

You stared at the empty sketchbook in front of you, wishing for your thoughts to transpire onto the paper. 

It was calm inside the shop, it was nice, but you were buzzing with thoughts; of the weekend, of the party, of the kiss that happened, and of the kiss that didn’t.

You wish there wasn’t so much fucking drama.

You wish you hadn’t had that argument with Yongbok.

You wish you could somehow dig into your heart, and your mind, and find a single spark that would inspire you.

Instead, all you had done were meaningless strokes at the edges of your paper. 

Being an artist was so temperamental. 

You shook your head, closing the sketchbook and putting your pencil down. It was almost time to close up, and head home, but you dreaded that too.

Life in this town really was fucking monotonous.

There was only one other person who could understand this.

So, you texted him.

you:

yeonjun, hey

you busy?

His reply was almost instantaneous.

yeonjun:

hey yn

i was just thinking about u

no not too busy, had some work outside the city

whats up?

how was the party?

you:

meh

yeonjun:

it didn’t look meh from all the pictures

you looked really cute by the way

maybe i should’ve bought you that outfit too, when I bought it for hana

you:

haha, thank you

yeah you should have, but it’s more her style than mine anyway

and i guess the party was fun but…i got into a fight with yongbok

yeonjun:

oh shit, what the hell?

you guys never fight

are you okay?

you:

that’s not true, we have fought before

yeonjun:

but that was almost a year ago and that was because of me

what happened this time?

you:

we are fine now, but he said some… stuff :/

anyway, can we meet up soon?

i missed you at the cabin

yeonjun:

of course, we can. im near town but im not sure if ill be free

next weekend?

and how’s hyunjin btw?

you:

he’s…okay too

we’re not really talking right now

it’s a long story ill explain when we meet

yeonjun:

i wanted to meet felix and minho too…but they still have me blocked everywhere lol

you:

ugh, wtf? im sorry yeonjun

yeonjun:

its fine, im just glad you still talk to me

you:

 im glad too

i really miss you. so much

fuck, i have to lock up now, its almost six. 

yeonjun:

sure, take care yn

let me know if you need anything

You smiled, chest feeling much lighter after the conversation. 

You scrolled through your phone, looking down at your messages, and you saw the last text you’d received from Hyunjin. 

The one he’d sent you just before you got on the train. 

It read:

hyunjin:

don’t worry, ill be at the station on time :)

i know you’re excited and stressed for the party, just don’t forget to eat something, okay?

and if you want me to bring anything for you, let me know, im leaving my house soon 

Aghhh.

He was always so freaking nice. You regret not talking to him the morning after the party. What’s the worst that could have even happened?

You wanted to talk to him.

So much. 

So, you opened your chat with him. Maybe you could just say ‘Hi’. 

Or ‘Hey’. 

Or ‘Hello’??

Maybe that was too formal.

It would be easier to pretend the party didn’t even happen, so you could go back to the way it was. You were about to type, fingers hovering over the keyboard when you noticed that he was online.

Fuck. You immediately closed it.

You hope he didn’t see you typing, like a dumbass, and then not sending anything.

You really, really hope he didn’t.

The panic that had just gone through you in the moment made you feel like you were in middle school again.

It was six now, and you needed to close up shop, so you quickly gathered your things. Mina wasn’t coming in today, so Mrs. Aera had told you to close everything before you leave.

Throwing your phone into your tote bag, you locked up the door, jumping to pull the shutter down. 

It’s not like Aera’s was a place anybody would steal from or vandalise, but obviously you still had to take precautions.

You were planning to head home after this, since Yongbok had been too tired to make any plans with you today, and you’d really wanted to have that conversation with him, but you couldn’t force it.

So, you balanced your sketchbook under your arm, placing your paintbrushes and other supplies inside your bag.

That’s when you heard a really loud bark, making you jump into your skin.

When you turned around, a puppy ran straight into you, knocking your stuff right out of your hands.

“What the fuck?” You mumbled, as your paintbrushes rolled away from you, and your sketchbook dropped right onto the ground.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” Hyunjin spoke, walking over to you.

What was he doing here?

Your heart rate immediately spiked up, and you wish you could blame it on the way the dog had scared you.

And the puppy belonged to him?

Hyunjin’s hair was tucked under a hat and he looked so annoyed.

You bent down to pick up your sketchbook, and the dog licked the clean paintbrushes that you’d also dropped.

“Kkami! Stop” He hissed, and he seemed so flustered, that you held back a smile.

This was awkward. 

He had been avoiding you this whole time, and this whole week, and now his dog had run right into you?

Maybe you should just walk away, and make it less awkward for him.

He was struggling, trying to click the leash back onto the collar, and you took the time to put everything into your bag. 

Looking up at him, it felt just like the time you met him in the Bowling Alley, when you hadn’t known what to say to him. 

You’d been so close at the party, in every way imaginable, but now it felt like you’d taken ten steps back.

Well, you couldn’t force him to suddenly be comfortable with you again, after whatever the hell had gone through his head regarding you, so you prepared yourself to walk away.

He was dressed in a white sweatshirt that drowned him, and a pair of cargo pants, but he looked so good. The snapback was pulled down over his eyes, shadows falling across his face.

The shadows only brought more focus to his mouth, and it distracted you.

You just had to leave, and it shouldn’t be that hard.

Instead, you found yourself saying,  “So this is him?”

It seemed like you really needed some better self control around him. 

Now that you’d roped him into a conversation, it would be even more awkward if you left first.

Hyunjin bent down, and picked him up, taking him into his arms, “I’m sorry…I made you drop all your stuff”

“It’s fine” You told him, “I shouldn’t have been carrying them in my hand anyway”

He sighed, seeming far too stressed out, “Yeah. I…I’m never taking him off the leash again. I got distracted for just a second and he ran off”

He looked so cute like this, with the puppy struggling and squirming and trying to jump out of his arms.

You couldn't walk away from that.

You laughed, stepping forward, “Can I pet him?”

Hyunjin nodded, stepping closer, to hold him out to you, “But he takes a really long time to warm up to people, so don’t be offended if he doesn’t like you”

“Ah, I’m used to that” You joked, and Hyunjin frowned.

You curled your hand over the pup’s head, rubbing his forehead, and he squirmed in Hyunjin’s arms. Kkami was so pretty, and you smiled at the way he was struggling, and at the way his owner was struggling too.

“Were you headed home?” Hyunjin asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, what about you?”

“Oh, I was at the supermarket. Had to pick up some stuff”

“You took Kkami to the supermarket?” 

Hyunjin sighed, “I wanted to take him for a walk, because he missed me but…never again”

His bag hung from his forearm, and you could see what he’d bought inside. 

Boxes of strawberries, and flour, and eggs.

“Are you planning on baking something?” You laughed.

He nodded, “Uh, yeah, I was”

“Oh. Cool”

He took in a breath, “Y/N, wait, I wanted to talk to you…about the party”

You looked up at him, not expecting him to bring it up, “Yeah?”

You thought he’d want to avoid it too. 

Confrontations were awkward, and it was easier to pretend it didn’t happen.

But he brought it up himself.

Hyunjin always surprised you.

“I…” He struggled to find the words, thinking hard, as his eyes searched your face, “I wanted to say that…I had a really good time, with you”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, and he’d barely said anything but you felt dizzy already, “You did?”

He nodded, and you saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, “Yeah, and I also wanted to apologise. I’m sorry for walking away, from the game. I wasn’t…feeling great”

“It’s okay” You told him, surprised at the confession, “I was just worried …about you”

“I know” He closed his eyes, remorseful, “I’m sorry about that too, I didn’t mean to worry you at all. I acted like a dick, and I’m so sorry”

“No, you didn’t-”

“Minho told me that you were stressed, and I…felt like shit. I don’t want you to have to worry about me. I know you’re already stressed about so much in your life, and the last thing I wanna do is add to that”

He’d talked to Minho about this?

“Hyunjin, it’s okay, it was my fault too-”

His eyes widened as he cut you off, “No, what are you talking about ? None of it was your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did such a great job, with the party and everything, and anybody could see that”

You stared up at him, as his words sunk in.

Nobody had ever told you it wasn’t your fault before.

You weren’t sure what to say, so you just nodded, “Oh. Um…so are you all right now?”

He tilted his head, “What do you mean?”

“You said you weren’t feeling great…at the party” You remind him.

His eyes flashed with recognition, “Oh, yeah. I...I’m okay. I told you this at the bonfire too — please don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m all right”

“Then you shouldn’t worry about me either” You told him, crossing your arms.

His eyebrows shot up, “What? That’s…not how it works”

You laughed, “Isn’t that exactly how it works? I mean, you were so stressed too…when San broke the bottle…in the bathroom”

Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed, “God, don’t remind me. You could have got hurt, and it’s good for him that you didn’t, or Choi San and me would be having a conversation right about now”

Your lips tugged up into a smile, and he laughed.

“Wow” You laughed, “This is why I don’t want you to worry about me”

“Okay, I’ll try not to” He laughed, and then adjusted Kkami in his hands, “Um, also. I wanted to ask you if you’re free? Right now? I…I finished the painting I told you about, and I was wondering if I could-”

Your heart skipped another beat and you think nothing would have made you happier in the moment than to see his art, “You finished it?” 

He smiled, sighing, “Yeah. Finally. I really wanna show y-”

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite girl!” A familiar voice came in.

“And my favourite boy” Minho laughed.

Hyunjin tensed at the interruption, and you noticed his jaw clench.

You whipped around, as Felix brought his cycle to a halt in front of the shop, right to your feet, “What are you doing here?”

“I was just closing up” You told them.

“Holy shit. Is that Kkami?” Minho asked, getting off his cycle to run over to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin nodded, holding him up, “Yeah. It is”

“So, what were you two doing out here?” Minho asked, looking up at you.

“Nothing, I was passing by, and I wanted to talk to Y/N” Hyunjin answered.

“About what?” Felix asked, looking at him.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, as he turned to Felix, and then back to you, “Um…I just wanted her opinion on something”

“Well, can’t you ask us?” Felix asked him, laughing. 

What was he doing? 

Hyunjin seemed taken aback by Yongbok’s question.

“Oh, he only cares about her opinion” Minho added, chuckling.

“No, it’s not that” Hyunjin immediately said, “It’s about a painting I was working on. Y/N knows about it”

“Is that what you two do every time you meet? Talk about art?” Minho asked, tilting his head.

Hyunjin looked up at him, “Um, some times”

“Did you guys come here just to annoy us?” You frowned at Felix.

“You have a date with me, remember?” He asked, tilting his head.

“What?” 

As far as you knew, you’d made no plans with Felix. 

“You said you have to give me my gift…? Something in Samhae? Remember?”

Oh. 

You had told Yongbok that you had to take him to the candy shop this week, the one Hyunjin had helped you get the passes for, but you weren’t supposed to go today.

“I thought you said you don’t wanna go today, that you were too tired” You spoke.

“Nope, I’m not anymore, let’s go” He smiled.

You were so confused. 

“Oh, okay” You nodded. 

You couldn’t say no. It was his birthday gift from you, after all, the one you’d driven yourself crazy after. 

“Sorry, Hyunjin. You guys can have your art convention later” Felix smiled at him.

Hyunjin nodded, looking down at Kkami, “Yeah. No problem”

Felix grabbed your bag, placing it in the basket of his cycle.

Minho kissed Kkami’s head, with much struggle, “Hyunjin, maybe I can have a look at your painting, if you really need another opinion? I’m not an expert like Y/N, but maybe it’ll be of help to you?”

Hyunjin nodded, “Yeah, sure. Thank you, Minho. That’s really nice of you”

“Of course” Minho smiled, “Don’t worry about it. Yongbok is always stealing Y/N away from all of the time too! We’re used to it by now”

Hyunjin nodded, shooting him a smile, “Yeah”

You watched his face, and his furrowed eyebrows.

“Come on, we’ll be late” Yongbok said, grabbing your hand, “Min, you’ll take my bike home, right?”

Minho nodded, “Sure”

Yongbok grabbed your hand, so you could leave.

“Wait! My phone” You mumbled, rushing back to grab it from your bag.

When you opened it though, you had a new notification.

It was a single text from Hyunjin.

hyunjin:

hey, are you at the shop? i really wanted to see you

He’d sent it to you just before you’d bumped into him, and you realised that’s the reason Kkami had been able to run off, because Hyunjin had been too distracted texting you.

You glanced up at him, surprised, and his eyes were wide, as he looked at you.

“Come on, Y/N. You can check your texts later” Yongbok whined, grabbing your hand.

He tugged you along, leaving Hyunjin standing with Minho. 

You looked back, at him, and your heart clenched at the look on his face.

He’d wanted to talk to you.

His eyes were blown big as he watched you leave, something in them reminding you of the same thing you’d felt at the party.

A feeling you could pinpoint now, because it was stronger than you’d ever felt.

You don’t think that you imagined it.

You could recognise it in his gaze, because it mirrored your own.

Something that definitely felt a lot like longing.

»»————-

It was no surprise that Yongbok loved the Chocolate Factory. 

He couldn’t believed you’d brought him here, and what you’d actually brought him for. 

When you told him that you could go into the workshop, and build your own candy bar, his eyes had lit up.

He was so happy.

It was the exact reaction you’d wanted, craved all along, so you should be happy too.

You should be happy that Yongbok loved the gift you got him, and that you’d managed to one up every single birthday gift ever, yet…there was a lingering feeling in your chest that you hated.

It was swallowing you up, and eating out at the happiness you could have felt in the moment.

You knew that Yongbok was too tired today.

You knew that he was busy, and probably had plans with Minho.

You’re not sure why he’d lied to you, and made you come here, when you could have come any other day.

Did he do that just because he didn’t want you to hang out with Hyunjin?

You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt though, because Yongbok would never do something like that.

You wanted so badly to confront him, about his words from the party, which had hurt you. 

He’d said so much stuff, and it was fuzzier by the second, and all your memories from the weekend were blurring together. You should confront him before you couldn’t separate your own insecurities from the very things he had voiced.

But right now, was not the day to do it. 

You were frustrated because you could never find the right timing, but you needed to talk to Yongbok about this. You hadn’t resolved anything that night, you’d just pushed it under the rug, and then ran out to the sea, in hopes of distracting yourself.

If you don’t resolve it, it was only a matter of time till it happens again.

It scared you, because Yongbok was your best friend in the entire world, and you didn’t want anything to change that.

Perhaps it was silly, thinking about stuff like this when you were surrounded by the world’s best candy.

The variety of pinks, purples and yellows put you to ease. 

“You’re fucking kidding me!” Yongbok laughed, as he looked around Chamberlain’s workshop, and all of the grand machinery.

“It’s so cool, right?” You asked him, gaping at the large display of cocoa beans on a shelf.

It was beautiful inside the factory. 

Essentially, it was just a little room, but there was so much happening inside. You could see all of the chocolates being made, and melted, and built into different shapes, and textures.

“How? How did you even manage this?” He exclaimed, staring down at your silver pass, which granted both of you entry to the chocolate workshop.

You shrugged, smiling, “I have my ways”

His excitement was contagious, so you couldn’t help but get excited too.

This was to him, as art was to you.

He looked the part too, in his pink striped shirt, which just coincidentally matched your dress.

You weren’t going to think of anything else, except where you were right now. 

It was almost like Disney, or Epcot, where once you went inside, every thought of the outside world vaporised and melted into the sheer awe and beauty that surrounded you.

After all, it was hard to be stressed when you could smell every kind of chocolate there was.

You glanced down at the golden bracelets on your wrist. It felt so exclusive, even though it was just a chocolate shop at the end of the day, but they’d made their brand an entire experience in itself. The employees all also wore lab coats and large glasses, like they were scientists, and it was the closest you could get to a theme park here.

“God, you’re the best” Yongbok spoke, pulling you into a hug randomly in the middle of all the aisles.

You laughed, hugging him back, “Come on, we need to start building our bar too”

“Fuck, yes” He grinned, taking your hand to lead you to the counter.

The lady behind the counter was sweet, and she smiled at the two of you, as she explained all of the steps. 

She said she liked Yongbok’s freckles, and he beamed at that too.

Apparently, they had an entire system built for people to customise their candy bars, separate from their usual production. It was so private though, and no commoners could just enter.

You think it was the kind of experience meant for only celebrities, or food critics, or really really rich people.

So, you two stood out already.

“You know, you fit right into all of the candy” Yongbok mumbled into your ear, referring to your pastel pink dress, and you laughed, shoving him away.

He took the opportunity to tickle your sides, and you squealed.

“Shut up! People will kick us out” You told him, not wanting to seem like a bunch of amateur teenagers.

“God, this is so fucking cool” He sighed, as the employee led you to an assembly line that produced custom chocolate bars, “I wish I could vlog this”

“Maybe you can make a video about it later” You told him.

The lady had explained to you how you’d make your own bar, and it was so simple. All you had to do, was select a bunch of choices at every screen, and it would be made.

It was like a wish come true; like the computers manifested your dream candy and brought it to life.

Yongbok was on his toes throughout, jumping through every section, playing with the silly graphics on every screen.

“White chocolate or dark chocolate?” He asked you.

You laughed, trying to keep up with him, “It’s your candy bar, Lix”

He pressed dark chocolate since that’s what ‘elites’ supposedly ate, and you watched as a bucket of liquid chocolate poured into a mould.

Yongbok jumped forward, letting some of it drip onto his finger.

“What are you doing!” You exclaimed, hoping nobody saw you.

He giggled, licking it off his finger, “Holy fuck, that’s sinful”

“Yeah, and also probably not allowed” You shushed him.

He laughed, grabbing your waist to pull you closer, “Come on, lighten up”

“I am” You laughed, “I just don’t want us to get banned from here”

“They could never ban you” He smiled, “You’re too nice to be banned”

You rolled your eyes, and you felt a few stares on you, “People are waiting for their turn, Lix”

He hummed, leaving his grip on you, as you moved onto the next section.

Yongbok was staring at this screen with way too much concentration, as the words and the choices popped up in front of you.

“Yongbok, it’s not that hard! Sprinkles. Yes or no?” You asked him, laughing.

“Hey, hey, it is hard! What if the sprinkles ruin the flavour?”

“They are not going to ruin the flavour, oh my god” You groaned.

“Fine, but if this bar sucks. It’s your fault” He said, pressing the button.

A complex machine that Yongbok probably knew the name of dropped a bunch of rainbow sprinkles over the mould, as they embedded into the chocolate.

“I feel so hungry already” You sighed, watching the bar move to the next section, like luggage at an airport.

“No way am I letting you near my chocolate bar”

“Wow, you’re so sweet, Felix” You spoke sarcastically.

“Sorry, I just…this is so fucking cool” He grinned, “You have to tell me though. How did you even get this to happen?” 

“I’m not telling you” You laughed.

He pouted, “Stop keeping secrets from me”

“There’s no way I’m telling you” You giggled, leaving his grip.

“Y/N, please. This could change my life” 

You rolled your eyes, “How the hell will it change your life? You’re so dramatic”

“It will! I’ll tell the streamer about it on Twitch, nobody in the circle has ever gotten this kind of opportunity ever! It’s bragging rights. For-fucking-ever!” He was so loud, making a few others look at you.

“Nope” You smiled, looking at the screen, “Gummy bears on the bar? Yes or no?”

“Y/N!” He whined.

“What?” You laughed, turning to look at him.

“If you tell me, I’ll change your rating, from a 7.5 to a solid nine” He said, referring to how he’d rated your kiss.

“If that’s your way of bribing me, Lix, you have got to do better” you rolled your eyes.

“If you love me, tell me how you made this happen. I need to come here again” He said, puppy-dog eyes. 

You sighed, turning to face him, “Fine, but don’t get mad at me…or something”

“I could never get mad at you” He smiled.

“You literally got mad at me on your birthday” You stated.

“That was different, it was because of Hyunjin…” He rolled his eyes, “Now tell me”

You stared at him, swallowing.

“What?” He laughed, shortly.

“Nothing. Do you want gummy bear bits on the bar?” You turned to the screen again.

Yongbok stared at you, eyes narrowed, “You’re kidding me”

“Yes? Okay, I’ll add it” You said, but his hand reached out to stop you.

“Hyunjin got you these passes?” He asked.

You nodded, looking at him, “Yup. You should thank him later too, it’s so cool”

“Did you do this whole experience with him too?”

“No of course not, I didn’t do this with him, Yongbok. It’s just for the two of us, for your birthday. I wanted to make it special” You said, “It’s so hard to get these passes”

“Not for him, I mean, he just had to use his fame, right?” 

You turned to him, as he pressed a random button. You watched as rice crisps got added to the chocolate bar, something you knew Yongbok hated.

He moved on, without looking at it.

What was his problem?

“Jesus, Lix, he didn’t have to do this but he did it anyway…why do you have such a problem with it?”

“What?” He hummed, “I don’t have a problem with him. I’m just saying, he’s famous, so he probably used that to get this done, didn’t he?”

“And how is that a bad thing?”

He shrugged, “I never said it was a bad thing”

You narrowed your eyes at him. You’d been trying to not talk about it, or bring it up, but the annoyance on his face was troubling you.

“Well, you’re acting like it was a bad thing. I thought you’d be happy to have this experience”

“I am happy” He replied, skipping another section.

“You’re acting really weird since the party”

He glanced at you, faux indifference on his face, “So are you”

“What? No, I’m not”

He stepped closer, “Yeah. You are. You’re defensive all of a sudden”

You sighed, trying to keep your voice stable, “I’m defensive because you guys were getting along so well, and he didn’t even do anything wrong. You’re acting completely different since the party, especially about him. What changed? I thought you liked him”

He shrugged, “Well, a lot happened at the party, Y/N. Stuff you’re pretty oblivious to”

“What does that even mean?”

He stared at you, eyes searching your face, and you knew he was keeping something to himself.

“I don’t know, Y/N. I told you, it’s weird to me how he got with Hana, became a part of our group, and then just broke up with her? I don’t understand what he’s trying to do”

You stared at him, “It’s not like has some sort of ulterior motive, Lix. You really need to calm down. They ended things mutually”

“Isn’t Hana your friend? I mean, the last person who broke up with her, we don’t even talk to him anymore. How is this different?”

“Of course that’s different…Hana and Hyunjin weren’t even dating. And, I do still talk to him”

“What?” Felix whipped around, “You’re in touch with Yeonjun?”

“Yeah, I am”

Felix tilted his head, “Does Hana know?”

“Does it matter? Yeonjun is my friend too. It’s stupid that we had to cut him off in the first place”

“Where is this coming from?” Felix asked.

“What do you mean? It’s…coming from me”

“You’re acting so different” 

You narrowed your eyes, “No, I’ve been pretty much exactly the same. I just think it’s stupid that we stopped talking to Yeonjun”

Felix stepped closer, grabbing your hand, “He broke Hana’s heart, Y/N” 

“No. He moved to the city, because he found a job he really liked. Hana’s the one who ended things between them"

His eyebrows shot up, “I don’t understand how you’re suddenly on his side”

“There are no sides! Why can’t we continue to be friends with Yeonjun, and with Hana? He didn’t do anything wrong to her. I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with her too”

Felix stepped back, eyes shifting over you, “So that’s why you got back in touch with him? So you can get him and Hana back together, and so she breaks up with Hyunjin?”

You stared at him, wondering how he could possibly assume something like this.

“Yongbok! What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything. They chose to end things on their own. What is wrong with you?”

“No, what’s wrong with you, Y/N? You’re spending all this time with a guy you don’t even fucking know”

You didn’t want to get into an argument right now, but he was acting so impossible, “I do know him. Why are you being like this?”

“No, you don't know him. You don’t know anything real about him, all you know is the pretty stories he tells you about the city, and you actually just go along with all of that!”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry I actually give a shit about you , Y/N. I’ve always been there for you, and then he comes back to town, and now you’re...actually talking to Yeonjun again…? Were you ever gonna tell me if I didn’t ask?” 

“I knew you’d react like this, Lix. You know Yeonjun actually wants to meet you?”

“Yeonjun doesn’t give a shit about us, and you’re keeping all this shit from me. That’s not something a best friend fucking does”

“He was our best friend too Lix, or did you forget?”

You didn’t know what this fight was even about anymore.

He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, “Y/N, I’m sorry. This was a bad idea, and I am tired, you were right, we shouldn’t have come”

You stepped back, “What? You’re leaving?”

He nodded, “Yeah”

You grabbed his wrist, stopping him, “But we can’t use these passes again, Felix. I got them just for you”

He glanced at you, “I’m sure Hwang Hyunjin wouldn’t mind taking my place”

You stared at him as he left, leaving you all by yourself in the middle of the chocolate factory.

»»————-

When Yeonjun found you at the bus stop, you were in tears.

He immediately came up to you, indulging you in a hug in the middle of the busy street.

“Y/N” He breathed, pressing his head into your hair, “What’s wrong? I’m so sorry I got late”

“It’s fine” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly, “I’m glad you came”

He sighed, moving back to look at you, “Thank god I was in the area. If you called me crying when I was in Seoul…”

“It’s okay” You sniffled, feeling stupid for crying, burying your hands in his coat.

“You have to tell me what happened. What’s wrong, babe?” He asked, wiping your face with his sleeve.

“Just…thank you for coming, Yeonjun” You spoke, and then hugged him again, burying your face in his chest.

He smiled, hugging you back, “Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”

You breathed in the cashmere sweater, “I’m just really glad you were around”

“Well, I’m sure if I hadn’t been able to come, Hyunjin would have” He spoke.

You froze, looking up at him, “You…you really think so?”

His eyebrows shot up, “Of course. I mean, I’ve only met him the one time, but he obviously cares about you…a lot”

“Yeah” You swallowed, and reached up to wipe your face.

It was stupid and embarrassing that you were crying in the middle of the street, but you didn’t care at this point. 

You were just so glad Yeonjun actually came for you.

“Come on” He stepped away, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, “What happened with Yongbok?”

“Ugh” You sighed, walking with him down the street, “I don’t even know! He’s just been getting so mad at me the past few days”

“There must be a reason” 

You let Yeonjun lead you through the streets of Samhae, and the last time you’d been here with was with Hyunjin, when he brought you to the chocolate factory, for Yongbok’s gift. 

Well, obviously that had all been useless now…

“Yeah” You spoke, kicking a pebble by your foot, “Where are we going?”

“I know this really good tapas bar” He smiled, “You like Spanish food, right?”

You nodded, sniffling still, “Yeah, I’m sorry for crying”

Yeonjun looked at you, as he led you inside the bar, “Stop apologising for things that aren’t even your fault”

You blinked at him, nodding, “Yeah”

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing, you just said something…Hyunjin also said that to me”

Yeonjun smiled, “I knew I liked him for a reason”

Your chest hurt, so you looked around the bar. It was pretty, lit up with rainbow lights, and so full of life. The noise was actually good, and you were glad Yeonjun knew what you needed at the moment. 

You hiked yourself up on a bar stool.

“Your hair…it’s faded” You remarked, finally getting a good look at him.

He laughed, taking off his coat to hang it on the back of a chair, “That’s the thing about one day hair color, Y/N. It…goes away”

You scrunched your nose, “Then why did you color it pink in the first place?”

“I’m 22, let me live with some bad life choices, Y/N” He laughed.

“I know all about those” You mumbled, burying your head in your hands..

Yeonjun’s face softened, and he leaned closer, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, how have you been? Can we please get drinks?” 

“I already ordered them, and we’ll talk about me later. You come first” 

You smiled at his words, feeling guilty all of a sudden, “I’m sorry for not keeping in touch when you were at the city”

His brows furrowed, and he reached out to hold your hand, “That’s okay, Y/N. I understand why you couldn’t. I missed you a lot, I mean, but…I’m just glad you’re here again”

God, why had you ever let Hana talk you into this? Into cutting off one of your best friends, just because he was her ex?

“I’m so glad you don’t hate me” You spoke.

“I could never hate you. I’ve grown up with you, Y/N. You’re the coolest girl I know” He said, squeezing your hand, “Now, tell me. What happened?” 

You buried your face in your hands again, “God, I don’t even where to start, but I guess…at the party”

“Is it about Hyunjin?”

You looked up at him.

“Kind of? I don’t even know. It’s about Yongbok too…”

“Not Hana, right?”

You laughed, “No…she’s not part of the equation”

Yeonjun nodded, brushing his hair back, “I take it things with her and Hyunjin didn’t work out?”

You swallowed, staring at him, “Yup”

He nodded, and he was so calm, and you realised this is why you’d always loved him.

He was always so collected, maybe that’s why the dynamics of the group had shifted so drastically ever since he’d left.

“Why were you crying just now?” 

You sighed, “Yongbok’s really pissed at me. I got him these special passes to make his own candy bar at Chamberlains, for his birthday this year and stuff”

“Holy shit. How?” 

You laughed at his reaction, “Hyunjin…he got them for me. The owner’s a fan of his music and band, so he did us that favour”

“But, it didn’t go so well?”

You sighed, blowing your hair forward, “It was going great, but then me and Yongbok got into a stupid argument, and he left, before we could even finish, and I feel like shit because we can never do that experience again”

“Did you try going after him?”

“Yeah” You bit your lip, looking into your lap, “He didn’t wanna be around me”

“What was the argument about?”

You glanced up at him, “Hyunjin…and you”

“Me?” His eyebrows shot up.

Then, you told him, everything — from what happened outside the shop, to Yongbok’s behaviour at the party, your argument on the cabin steps, and then today. 

Yeonjun listened, to everything, from the beginning to the end, and you were so thankful for that.

Your food came, and that distracted you enough from your worries for a bit. 

Yeonjun bit into a tomato bruschetta, “I wish it was more complex, Y/N but…I just think Felix is feeling insecure”

You sighed, “What does he have to feel insecure about?”

He took in a breath, shifting his stool closer to yours, “Well If I had to guess… there’s this new person in your group, and you have all his attention, and he has yours. He’s bound to feel that way. I mean, before Hyunjin, that used to be Yongbok. I’m not saying how he acted is right, it was really stupid of him to walk out on you…but I can understand why he did that”

“But then what am I supposed to do? He can’t expect me to cut Hyunjin off, just like we did you”

Yeonjun leaned back, “You just need to let Felix know that you and Hyunjin mean different things to him. It’s not like he’s replacing Felix in your life”

“Of course not. Felix is always going to be my best friend, I mean…this is so juvenile. I feel like this isn’t the kind of stuff we should be arguing about at this age”

Yeonjun laughed, “You can’t put an age limit on jealousy, Y/N”

You rolled your eyes, “Nobody is jealous, Yeonjun”

Your phone buzzed, and you instantly grabbed it.

yongbokkie:

sorry about what i said before

i was upset

can i come over?

you :

im still out rn lix…

can i see you after this?

yongbokkie :

so…what, you actually called hyunjin there?

cool

see you tomorrow

You frowned, staring at his text. 

“Who are you texting?” Yeonjun asked, and you looked up at him. He was munching on peanuts, while he took a break from his drink.

“Nobody” You mumbled, putting your phone face down, “Yongbok’s fucking pissed at me”

It hurt you that the two of you got into a fight, but you knew that if you met him right now, it would only escalate. You both needed to calm down, until you could figure it out, and actually fix things.

It was hard to fix things because you couldn't even tell what Yongbok was actually fighting you about.

You swallowed, thinking back to the argument, “There’s one more thing...Yongbok for some reason, keeps acting as if Hyunjin has some...weird, ulterior motives for coming back, and about his friends and all that shit. He thinks that I don’t even know anything real about him, and I don’t really know about his relation with his bandmates and friends...or stuff like that”

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, “Well...I don’t think you have to worry about that, Y/N. Hyunjin seems like a good guy, genuinely, and if you want to know more, you can always just ask him right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. The first week I met him, he told me that I can ask him anything”

Yeonjun smiled, “Well, there you go”

“Tell me more. About the party” He spoke.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I feel like shit, meeting you after six months just to dump my problems on you”

Yeonjun smiled softly, “That’s what I’m here for. I don’t care how long it’s been. Your problems…are my problems too”

You smiled, heart warming, “I missed you, Junnie. You have to tell me all about the city life after this…”

He laughed, throwing his head back, “There’s not much to tell. I can’t believe you’re in Daejon and having a more eventful life than me”

“Shut up!” You laughed, tossing a peanut at him, “Daejon can be interesting sometimes”

He quirked an eyebrow, “You’re kidding me”

“Yeah. I am” You mumbled, leaning back in your chair, “But ever since Hyunjin’s back…things have been different”

Yeonjun laughed, “I can tell”

“Tell what?”

He laughed loudly, “Nothing. Tell me what’s happening with him”

You breathed in, still thinking of his text message on your phone that you hadn’t replied to, “So…you remember him, right? I mean, I know you two only met for an hour but-”

“Are you asking me if I remember Hwang Hyunjin, the guy whose face I see before sleeping, and every morning when I wake up?”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Um…”

“His billboard is right across my apartment window, babe”

“Oh” You laughed, “I thought you’re…never mind”

The waiter then brought your drinks, a Cosmopolitan and a Long Island Iced Tea for him.

“So, tell me” He said, taking a sip, “What happened at the Cabin?”

“I missed you there, by the way” You told him, grabbing your drink. It was cold, the condensation collecting on your fingers.

“We were playing this game…”

Yeonjun’s face lit up, “Let me guess! Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

“No”

“Never Have I ever?”

“No”

“Truth or D-”

“It was Spin the Bottle, Yeonjun”

“Oh…that was gonna be my next guess”

You sighed, lips tugging up into a smile, “Can I continue?”

He laughed, “I’m sorry, go ahead, Y/N. You were playing the game”

“Yeah…and Felix had to kiss me”

Yeonjun suddenly laughed, “You’re kidding me? Yongbok kissed you?”

“What?”

“What? I’m just saying…all of his behaviour kind of makes sense now”

You stared at him, puzzled, “I mean…like…he only kissed me because Hyunjin didn’t”

At that, Yeonjun had an even bigger reaction than what you just told him, and he sputtered, spitting out some of his drink.

“Yeonjun!” You exclaimed.

“Sorry” He mumbled, wiping his mouth, “Hyunjin didn’t kiss you?”

“Why are you so surprised?” You asked, wiping down the drink he’d split with a tissue. 

You suddenly felt like a middle-schooler, analysing and breaking down a fucking party game to figure out something.

He laughed, embarrassed, “You really want to know?”

You glanced at him, curious, “Yeah? Of course”

He sighed, seemingly proud of himself, “Well, last time he was here… the way he was looking at you and everything, I thought you guys...are together or something. That’s kind of why I was so surprised he’s dating Hana...because I really thought you and Hyunjin are into each other”

Your stomach flipped, even though those were just his words and his opinion, and that didn’t make them true, but just the thought of it made your brain go into overdrive.

You had a stupid urge to grab your phone and text him back right now.

To ask him to come here and kiss you, and to do …a lot more.

You stared at your phone on the bar, and then slid it to Yeonjun, “Please don’t let me text Hyunjin”

He laughed, putting your phone in his pocket, “So…you wanted to kiss him, right?”

“Yeah. I guess” You admitted, looking down at your drink, suddenly feeling weird again. 

It was so wrong, for you to feel this way. 

Firstly, Hana would never be okay with it. Yongbok clearly hated everything and everyone from the city, so neither would he. 

No wonder he seemed so mad at you.

“Do you like him?”

“No” You said, immediately, “I’m just…really attracted to him, I guess...”

Why did you talk about this out loud?

“There’s so many reasons why it’s wrong for me feel this way”

Yeonjun leaned in, “Enlighten me. What reasons?”

“Well, firstly, he’s basically Hana’s ex”

Yeonjun shook his head, “Let me stop you right there. Hana’s only ever dated one guy, and you’re looking at him. Hyunjin was a guy she went on what, five or six dates with? He doesn’t count”

“Okay, well.. she’s still gonna hate me if I am attracted to the guy she went on five or six dates with”

“It’s gonna take a lot more than that for Hana to hate you”

Your head whipped up to him, “So you’re saying it is possible? For her to hate me?”

Yeonjun laughed, “Y/N…”

“Secondly, Yongbok will hate me. He doesn’t even like me hanging out with Hyunjin, much less…feeling any kind of attraction”

“So, because of them…you’re not even gonna try?”

“There isn’t even anything to try because he doesn’t feel that way for me” You sighed, “I feel like such a …bad person. I mean…here I just had a huge fight with my best friend, and I’m thinking about some... cute guy”

“Is that what Hyunjin is to you? Some cute guy?” Yeonjun asked, and you realised he’d finished his entire drink.

You looked up at him, thinking about his words.

Of course Hyunjin was much more than that to you.

You took another sip of your drink, and you weren’t even halfway done, “No...”

“Then?”

You breathed in, the rush of sugar and alcohol to your brain making you feel much more bolder than you normally would, “I just…I really love being around him. I love talking to him, I feel like I can talk to him forever and never run out of anything to say…and I feel like he’s the kind of person who would listen to anything I say, even if it’s really...lame”

Yeonjun laughed at your words, “That’s not just ‘some cute guy’ Y/N”

You sighed, knowing he was right, knowing you felt something more, for him.

“But Yongbok…he hates me” 

Yeonjun reached forward to grab your hand, “Yongbok is just feeling insecure, and from what you told me, he began acting this way after you guys kissed. Maybe he’s just…feeling possessive suddenly. He’s the only one who has had your attention all these years, and now he doesn’t have it anymore. Maybe the kiss meant a lot more to him than you think”

You scoffed, “He rated me a 7.5!"

Yeonjun laughed, “What? Like on the kissing scale?”

“Yeah. Dick”

He rolled his eyes, “He’ll come around”

“I don’t know if he will”

“Tell me something, Y/N”

You sunk onto the bar, feeling so tired from everything that had transpired, “Yeah?”

“If you feel that way for Hyunjin, why are you avoiding him?”

You blinked, “I mean, we were avoiding each other, but earlier he came by the shop…and he wanted to talk to me, and…” You trailed off, “He had his puppy with him, and he was so cute”

“The puppy?”

You smiled, “No, Hyun. I mean, Kkami was cute too, but Hyun, he had this yellow and white sweatshirt on, and it was so fucking cute, and it’s stupid but I think I love everything he wears”

Yeonjun laughed, “Maybe you should ask him to let you borrow it sometime”

You glared at him, “Stopp. He doesn’t feel that way for me”

“What makes you say that?”

“Um…hello? Did you listen to what happened at the party? He basically rejected me in front of like everybody, and then ran away from me?”

Yeonjun sighed, reaching forward to take a sip of your drink, “Yeah. You’re right. That is weird”

You exhaled, sitting up straight, “It is what it is. I’ll accept it. I just…don’t know how to act around him now”

“Just be…yourself, Y/N”

“Wow… you should write a self help book”

He rolled his eyes, “Y/N…I’m not telling you to go ask Hyunjin out or anything…what I’m telling you, is that he’s back in town…and you like being around him. Don’t waste that time, just because of a stupid party game”

“I know that you’re right, Yeonjun. I mean, I was gonna do that anyway. I should just bury my attraction away, and be a good friend”

He smiled.

“I’ll have to bury it pretty deep though” You added.

He laughed, “God, you’re impossible. But yeah, just...don’t ruin things with him, Y/N. Because of Yongbok, or even Hana...you were friends with Hyunjin all this time, just continue doing that, right?”

You nodded, staring at the liquid in your glass, “Yeah. I think I can do that. Friends”

He smiled.

“You have to tell me all about the city too now!” You jumped, “It would make me feel better to know I’m not the only one with drama in my life”

He laughed, “I actually don’t have any drama, but I think I have enough of yours to keep me entertained for life”

“Shut up!” You giggled, shoving him. The music in the bar had gotten so loud, but you felt safe, and you felt comfortable.

Like a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

Even if Hyunjin didn't feel the same way for you, you didn’t really care. You would still talk to him, and hopefully things with Felix would be okay too...

“Thanks, Yeonjun. I...I’m so glad you were here” You smiled, resting your head in your hands as you looked at him. You can’t believe Hana would break up with someone like him for a reason so insignificant.

“I’m glad I was here too” He laughed, “What would you have done if I wasn’t?”

“I might have called Hyunjin” You admitted, “And then I would have done something really stupid, like kiss him, and embarrass myself all over again”

He hummed, “I’m sorry...for whatever happened at the party, Y/N. You don't deserve that. I hope Hyunjin can realise one day what he’s missing”

You giggled, “Yeah, so when is your self help book coming out?”

Yeonjun laughed, “Shut up. Do you want another drink?”

“No, I'm good” You spoke, as he paid for the two of you, and you stared at the golden wristband, an ache rushing through your chest again. You can't believe Felix had just walked out on you like that, after all of the effort you’d gone to for him...but maybe Yeonjun was right about everything he said.

Suddenly he reached over to grab your hand, as if he’d read your mind, “And don’t worry about Yongbok, Y/N. I’ve got into a lot of fights with him and… he always comes around”

You looked into the distance, and then back at him, avoiding the obvious fact that they still hadn’t recovered from their last fight and may not ever, “I really hope so”

»»————-

Hyunjin’s canvas was empty, and it was nearing two hours that he’d just been staring at it. 

It was the middle of the week, but he was at The Château. 

Seungmin had been kind enough to keep it open for him, because for some insane reason, Hyunjin thought maybe he’d be able to escape his art block here.

It was insane, because it hadn’t helped, and Hyunjin had come all the way for no reason.

On top of that, he’d also wasted Seungmin’s time and energy in asking him for this favour.

It had been two hours…of absolutely nothing.

Any other day, he would believe it was time well spent, because every second that he wasn’t painting, he was still thinking.

Thinking about all of the ideas that floated around in his head — things that he could put into little boxes to organise them, to process them and to truly feel them. Those same things were what inspired him; to draw, and to perform.

But today…it felt like wasted time, and he felt useless sitting at his stool, with an empty canvas.

Seungmin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Jinnie, I was about to close up…you finished?”

Hyunjin flushed, because he hadn’t even started yet, but he respected Seungmin and he respected his time.

“Almost” He piped up, dipping his brush into the water cup, though the paint on it had already dried an hour ago.

“Cool, I’ll be outside” Seungmin hummed, walking out, leaving him all alone in The Château.

It was a beautiful building, and he could never experience a place like this back in the city. 

Or maybe he just hadn’t tried to find one.

He wished he could spend more hours here, but Seungmin had stuff to do, unlike him. 

He stood by the sink, industrial, and grimy with paint, as he washed off the color of the brushes. It was hard because he’d been careless, and left them out too long. 

He struggled to get the paint off, and realised that he’d quite possibly ruined the brushes.

A small part of him was annoyed, but an even more annoying part of him told him that this meant only one thing. 

He would need new brushes.

The thought made his stomach twist uncomfortably, because there was only one place in town he could get new brushes.

He wondered if his creativity shut down on purpose, so Hyunjin would have some godforsaken excuse to make a trip to Aera’s.

Divine intervention, as they say.

After his embarrassing run in with Kkami, he hadn’t been there, and now he would have no choice but to go there.

His phone buzzed.

It was Chan.

This wasn’t the time, or place to answer, but Hyunjin missed Chan more than anything, and it had been so long since they’d talked like this, so he picked up. 

He hadn’t realised it was FaceTime, until Christopher’s expectant face was staring right at him.

“Hyunjinnie!” Chan immediately exclaimed, eyes widening, “You picked up!”

Hyunjin laughed, “I always pick up”

“Right, right, right. Some day I think you’ll get annoyed of me, and stop”

Hyunjin sighed, shaking the water off his brushes as he held the phone with his other hand, “I could never get annoyed of you”

“Yet you’re a hundred miles away” Chan stated.

Hyunjin smiled, but his heart hurt at the reminder. 

He was a hundred miles away… from his real job, his friends, his life in the city.

It’s like Chan noticed the drop in his expression, even though Hyunjin had been smiling, but Chan was always so perceptive, and he leaned closer, “So, how’s the art thing going?”

Hyunjin let out a laugh, and his brushes had finally dried off enough for him to put them in his case.

“It’s going good” He replied, propping his phone up on the canvas, so he could pack his bag.

“Whaat are you doing?” Chan asked, leaning forward to see better.

“I was in class”

“Class?” He laughed, “Wow, sure you’re allowed to use your phone?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, closing the satchel, so he could pick up the phone again, “Very funny. I’m the only one here”

He then flipped the camera around, showing Chan the empty art room. It was funny seeing the expression on Chan’s face change into one of awe, as he took in the surroundings, as if he truly admired art.

“I have no idea what half of those things are for, but…how’s it going? What did you paint today?” 

Hyunjin’s face fell. He knew that art could never be put on a schedule, but the failure of today still bothered him.

“I didn’t paint anything today” He told him, “I’m…having a creative block”

Chan would understand that more than anyone, and his brows furrowed, “Oh no. Are you stressing about something?”

“Hold on” He mumbled.

He walked out of the building, bag on his shoulder, and stepped out. It was almost dusk, and the setting sun felt good on his skin.

Seungmin was leaning on the wall outside, scrolling through his phone and he looked up.

“I stashed away all the supplies” Hyunjin told him.

Seungmin smiled, “I trust you did”

Then his eyes roamed his figure, “You’re not taking your canvas home?”

Hyunjin felt embarrassed again, even though it was okay to not be inspired, and he should just admit it, “I didn’t paint today”

Seungmin nodded, realisation sinking over his features, along with a tinge of surprise, but he smiled, “No worries, I’ll close up”

“Yeah, thanks, Min” He smiled at him, well-aware that Chan was on hold and listening to this whole conversation.

He then plugged his earphones in, walking down the trail, “Sorry about that”

Chan was distracted by the surroundings though, “Whoa, are you in a fucking forest, Jinnie?”

Hyunjin laughed, “No, I’m at The Château, it’s up on this hill, it’s really pretty here”

“Ah, headed home?”

“Yea-”

“Or are you headed to that art shop you love sooo much?”  He almost cooed, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows shoot up.

He flushed, “What?”

Chan’s eyes widened, worried, “You know…the art shop, where the girl works. Are there more than one in that town?”

Hyunjin sighed.

Chan was so cute sometimes, even when he was trying to tease him, “No, there’s only one, and I don’t love that shop, it’s just a shop”

“Yeah, right” He scoffed, “So you admit you only go there for the girl”

“Chan! You’re…Why did you call me?”

“Ouch. You’re sensitive. Did something happen?”

Hyunjin sighed, “No, absolutely nothing happened”

“I sense…sarcasm in your tone”

“Nothing happened for real, Chan. We went to her friend’s birthday, near the sea…it was a party, just like any other party”

“That’s all?”

He nodded, “Yup, that’s all. Anyway, how’s Kairi?”

Chan sighed, leaning back in his chair, as he swivelled around in his studio, making Hyunjin feel dizzy just by looking at the screen.

“She’s…not good”

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, “What happened?”

Chan sighed, teasing given away to a completely worried look and Hyunjin almost felt guilty for bringing her up.

“You know how it is, Jinnie”

“Tell me what’s wrong please” Hyunjin spoke, but his chest hurt at the thought of Chan looking so upset.

Chan took in a breath, “Some article got out…and some people found her number. The same…as usual. She got a new sim last night, but that’s not the least of our problems. Mr. Kim is already worried, about so much stuff, with you being gone…and the news about Jisung. It’s a lot, and I can hardly meet Kairi . It’s unfortunately not the best time to be in love with a girl. What a surprise”

Hyunjin closed his eyes. 

He knew this would happen, even though Chan and Kairi were more in love than anyone he’d ever seen, this always happened.

The odds were not in their favour.

“I’m sorry, Chan. I know how much you love her” He spoke, finally.

Chan shrugged, “I wish it was easier, for her. We haven’t been able to meet in weeks, as if we’re doing something innately wrong, but this is just…a bad time”

“Yeah. A bad time. It’ll pass” Hyunjin told him.

Chan laughed, “The other day, we had the stupidest fucking argument. It was so…juvenile”

“What happened?”

“She read an article, about how I’m apparently secretly dating this girl from the company, and she…”

“She believed it?”

Chan shook his head, “She didn’t believe it, she knows I would never cheat on her, not in any lifetime, but it made her upset….and that was enough, for us to fight”

“I’m sorry, Chan” Hyunjin mumbled. 

He’d always heard about how intimate relationships could be hard, in the kind of career he wanted. They still happened, of course. People still fell in love, broke up, got married, had affairs. A choice of career could never change that. 

It was just…so much harder. Like a heavy curtain being draped across something as grand as love, something that needed to be behind the scenes, something that couldn’t get out, lest it affect their reputation or sales, of all things. 

It was one of the reasons his aunt had been skeptical about what he was going to do.

Something about how Hyunjin was the kind of boy who loved openly, and there was nothing wrong with it, not really. 

Maybe it could work out if things were different.

Maybe if they were a little older, a little more famous, or a little less. 

He wasn’t sure what would make it better. 

Almost everybody he knew was dating or had dated at a point, but it was…different. 

Different from the kind of dating he would want to partake in. It was the kind that came with…conditions, and clauses, and sometimes even contracts. 

It was the kind that came with scandals, backlash, hatred, and bans. 

As if being in love by itself needed to be any tougher.

“Jinnie?” Chan’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “No, Channie. You didn’t…I was just thinking”

“I know” Chan sighed, leaning back in his chair, “Anyway, things with Kairi will be fine. They always are. It’s her birthday soon…so I’m wrecking my brain trying to figure out what I can do for her”

Hyunjin smiled, “I’m sure you’ll figure out something amazing"

“So, tell me what happened at this party. The one you clearly don’t want to talk about” 

Hyunjin laughed, starting to walk again, “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Come on, Jinnie. Are you on your way to meet her?”

“No” He sighed, “We’re…I think we’re avoiding each other. I tried to meet her but…stuff got in the way, and I don’t know”

“What?” Chan suddenly sat up, his chair squeaking, “Why?”

He figured there was no point avoiding it, so he took in a breath “I got dared to kiss her”

Chan’s eyes widened, “Holy fuck. You got dared to kiss Y/N? Wait, dared? You were playing a game?”

Hyunjin laughed shortly, “Yeah, I let myself be dragged into a stupid game. Spin the fucking bottle”

Chan giggled, “The things you do for a girl…so how was it?”

Hyunjin sighed, “I don’t know. I didn’t do it”

“You what?”

“I didn’t kiss her”

Chan’s voice softened, “Why?” 

“You know why…” Hyunjin trailed off, heart pounding in his chest, “There’s no point”

Chan squeezed his eyes shut, “Fuck. Don’t say that Hyunjin”

“You know I’m right, Channie…”

“No, you’re not. I mean, I thought you kissed her friend too, Hana, how is this different?” 

Hyunjin stopped again, sneakers slipping amongst the leaves, “You know…”

“No, I don’t know. Tell me, Hyunjinnie”

His heart softened at the nickname, and his throat felt clogged up, “Kissing her…is not gonna help all of the things I’m feeling”

“You know that you can’t run away from falling in love forever, right?” Chan spoke.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “I’m not running away”

“Really? What was her reaction when you didn’t kiss her?”

Hyunjin closed his eyes, “I don’t know…I didn’t see, I…walked away”

“And you say you’re not running away?”

Hyunjin knew he was right, but he didn’t like that.

“Chris…there’s no point. If I kiss her, I’m gonna -”

“-You’re gonna fall in love with her?” Chan finished his sentence.

Hyunjin laughed. 

If only love could be amounted to that simple of an action. 

He knew it couldn’t. 

Yet it felt like the one line he couldn’t cross. 

The threshold.

“I guess” He mumbled, staring at the winding trail instead of his phone.

“Hyunjin” Chan spoke, and his voice was stern enough for Hyunjin to look up and look him in the eye.

“Yeah?”

“So, what…you’re gonna avoid her forever?”

“Of course not. I just won’t kiss her”

Chan laughed, “You sound like a stubborn kid”

“Look…Chan, you’re…older than me, and you’re stronger than me. I don’t think I can handle what you’re going through with Kairi, with…anyone. No offense”

Chan smiled, wry, “None taken. But…despite everything, Kairi is still my favourite person in the world, I don’t regret anything that happened”

Hyunjin sighed, “I can’t do that, though”

“Fine” Chan laughed, “I won’t force you to kiss a pretty girl then”

Hyunjin chuckled, “Shut up. You don’t know how bad I want to"

Chan rolled his eyes, “Trust me, I know. I’ve had enough late nights with you talking about nothing else”

Hyunjin flushed, even though there was no one else here, except Chan, “Yeah. I’ll stop talking about it now”

Chan laughed, “I’d like to see that. You know Jisung and Binnie have a bet going?”

Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed, “You’re kidding me”

“Yup, the one day you don’t bring her up in the group chat is the day Binnie owes Jisung a meal”

Hyunjin turned red, “Stop! Oh my god, you guys are so embarrassing”

Chan laughed, “They miss you, and they wanted to meet her too”

Hyunjin laughed, “I don’t know how that’s gonna be possible, but if you do, you’re gonna love her. She’s so much like you sometimes”

Chan raised his eyebrows, “Ah, if she’s like me, then no wonder you’re in love”

Hyunjin flushed, “I’m not in love. I just…like being around her, a lot”

“Whatever you say, Jinnie, and god, is your art class on top of Banya Peak or something? You’ve been walking down, for-fucking-ever”

Hyunjin laughed, “It’s hard to navigate down a hill, when I’m on a video call with my annoying ass best friend, you know?”

Chan giggled, spinning on his chair, “Tell me more about this party. Did you do anything wild?”

Hyunjin thought hard, “Y/N drew a star on me”

Chan’s eyebrows raised, “Whoa, slow down there, Hyunjin. Aren’t you two moving too fast?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “Ha-ha, Chan. You’re so funny”

But still, he tucked his hair back to show Chan the faded star on his cheekbone.

Chan rolled his eyes, “Jesus. You didn’t shower since then, or what?”

He flushed, “Of course I did! I just…didn’t wipe it off, it’s permanent ink anyway"

“You’re so cute, Hyunnie”

He sighed, “But yeah, nothing too wild happened…she looked really good though”

“Yeah?”

Hyunjin took in a breath, to calm his heart rate down at the memory, “Yeah, god. It was so hard”

“What was hard?” Chan asked, smirking.

Hyunjin noticed, “Gross, Chan! Please, stop, you’re killing me”

Chan giggled, breathlessly now, it wasn’t even that funny.

“I miss messing with you, Hyunnie”

“Seems to me like you never stopped” He scoffed.

“So, what’s your solution now? You didn’t kiss her at the party, and you apparently won’t ever kiss her, so now…what?”

Hyunjin sighed, “I don’t know. I have to show her some of my art work, so I’ll do that. Hopefully she doesn’t hate me…for avoiding her the past few days. Oh, also…you know her best friend?”

Chan spun around in his chair, and it was distracting, “Hana …or the pretty boy with the freckles?”

Hyunjin bit back a smile, “Yeah, him. Yongbok”

“What about him?”

“He…kissed her”

Chan’s eyes widened, “What? And you let him?”

Hyunjin closed his eyes, “Let? It’s not like she’s mine, Chan. Anyway, they kissed during the game”

“Oh”

“Yup. Safe to say I’m never forgetting that fucking scene”

“You must not like Yongbok very much then”

“No…I do” Hyunjin trailed off, “He’s a great person. Sweet kid. Anyway, I don’t want to think about that anymore”

Very few things made Hyunjin as upset as that had. 

He didn’t like to think of himself as someone who held anger, or resentment in their being, but at that minute, he could understand the people who did.

Not anger towards Yongbok…just…in general.

“Okay” Chan sighed, “But, you said, she’s been avoiding you too. Are you gonna apologise?”

He hummed, finally reaching the base, passing the bakery that he bought the streusels from. “Yeah, kind of. I wanna do something that makes her really happy, so I have something in mind. I think she’ll like it”

“What is it?”

Hyunjin laughed, feeling stupid, “It’s silly…she might even hate it”

Chan rolled his eyes, “I’m pretty sure it’s not silly if you came up with it. What is it?”

“There’s this…event thing happening at The Château. It’s like…a paint and wine thing. It’s supposed to be really fun, and…I think she might wanna go? So, I got tickets, for me and her”

Chan was grinning, “That sounds super fancy”

“It is” Hyunjin laughed, “It’s ridiculously fancy, and they haven’t held one of these events in a while, so I don’t even know if she’ll be interested. It’s gonna be full of like…pretentious, rich people, and we have to dress up and stuff”

“Dress up? So she’s gonna be in a pretty dress, and you’re gonna be drinking wine, and painting, and…you’re gonna force yourself to keep your hands off her?”

Hyunjin laughed, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, “Yeah…I mean, if she says yes”

“She’ll say yes, why would she not?”

“Because…Yongbok might not want her to come with me”

“But you’re going as just friends, anyway, right? So it doesn’t matter?”

Hyunjin nodded, not too pleased but it was his choice after all, “Yeah. Just as friends. I can’t ruin things. I really don’t want to”

“That should be easy” Chan smiled, teasing.

Hyunjin nodded, suddenly not so sure about everything.

He could be friends. It couldn’t be that hard.

Hyunjin laughed, “You could at least pretend having some faith in me, you know?”

Chan hummed, “I do! You should have some faith in yourself”

Hyunjin already envisioned all the ways this could go wrong.

It was silly, to want to spend so much time and effort on something, yet still hold back from it.

He’d almost wavered at the party, coming so close to doing things he knew he would regret. It would be so easy to give in, but he’d made a decision, and he had to stick to it.

He couldn’t mess up again, but buying tickets to what probably was the most romantic event in town...certainly wasn’t the way to go if he wanted to just be friends.

A part of him craved to know how you felt, about him, but that would also be crossing a line, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to find out. The thought made his stomach hurt, and it was better to not venture into that territory anyway.

It was like walking a very thin tightrope, and at the party, he’d almost fallen off.

What sucked about this was that he wanted to fall off. 

He sighed, saying goodbye to Chan as another wave of worries, and excitement enveloped him.

He just needed to have faith, in himself, to not ruin things.

That would be the hardest task of all.

»»————-

⇐ masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you <3

taglist:

@thebelljug @lovhyunj @imthecuteanimal @caratinylyfe @princess-kayleigh @lovelyyyou @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam @murderyoursoul @hyuneluvbot @hyunjinslovelys @danyxthirstae01@jamaisvu97 @lixvs  @lcvryu @seungly  @hyuka-luvbot @neochaeryeong @xa21x @mel-the-mad-hatter @jellyjelly605 @beaann @sadbixth11 @tae-kook-lover @hyunzales29 @hyunhanji @imhyvnjin @hyynee @xpressomarstini @hyyuniverse  @tulips4u @kibblesnbites @natskilou @marsophilia @dragonyeon @yubinismn@yellowroseskolchek @lochness-butmakeitsexy @bangchan-simp @princehyun-jin  @sunflowerbebe07 @hyuckie-lee @malachitehoe @leechanniee @lovesickgirl253 @itslinaaaa @lovingonchan @ladytrbl @putmetogetheragain13 @ @kangyounghyunhands​ @itsallaboutclassic​ @fwess​ @rie-cchi​ @w-a-v-ee​ @levantea​ @hyunelixies​ @a-person-with-void​ @jellyjelly111 @werewolves-onthe-loose  @simpsarzie​ @pumkiinpasties​ @hyunhoz​  @xxencagedxx​ @agentsofsheilds​ @miadreams​ @cherrywithluvxoxo @emmie5168​ @hwangful​ @lixie-dori​ @thegoddessharmony​ @kathdearie​ @hyuniemie @byunhoebaek​ @hyunjinslittlestar​ @shiru-chan​ @bewitchedoracle​ @noteighteenanymore @tildisen​

[purpleyoonn]

Ethereal 3

CHAPTER 3

“She’s mad but she’s magic.

There’s no lie in her fire.”

~ Charles Bukowski

Summary: After leaving your home in need of a fresh start, you open a bookstore with the hopes that the words you read could bring you solace. You never realized that the books you loved would bring you home instead.

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Genre: Mafia/Dragon AU

Status: Ongoing

Word Count: 7.7k 

Warnings: depictions of violence, smut, death, sexual assault, insecurities, anxiety, polyamory, trauma, mentions of blood

Chapter Warnings: slight violence, slight smut, possessive talk, 

*Please remember that this is a mafia fan fiction. There will be violence, blood, and other dark themes. If you cannot handle the dark themes, please do not read*

this chapter is sort of a filler. I am using this to give you insight into the relationship and courtship between the mc and the boys. honestly filled with a bunch of fluff. 

Masterlist // Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

—————————————————

It was that night when you got the first real look of the boys and what they do for their business.

You were relaxing on the couch, almost completely beneath Jungkook who decided your chest was a “comfy pillow”, his weight mimicking the feeling of a weighted blanket, and close to falling asleep listening to Jin cook in the kitchen when the front doors opened. Mr. Choi led the people in, well, he followed behind the people who couldn’t wait for him to open the doors fully.

You jolted from your position at the sound of the footsteps making their way to where you were, causing Jungkook to hide your body with his own, his head turning to look at the intruders, eyes narrowed and showing his dragon is in control. The others quickly follow suit, moving to stand in front of the couch, blocking your view of the men, and their view of you.

“Jung, Kim. What have I said about barging into my home? You are supposed to call before even stepping foot onto my property.” Namjoon’s voice was rigid and void of emotion as he spoke, you could see his jaw locking as he stared at the men. You try to move a little bit so you could peek around Yoongi’s body but a little growl from Jungkook keeps you still.

“We are sorry Sirs. But we have a problem.” A small voice speaks back quickly.

“I’ll determine if it is a problem or not.” Namjoon is quick to reply, motioning for the men to speak.

“Our gun deal was a trap. We were ambushed. Seo was in the middle of making sure the man had our money when shots started raining in from the top of the storage units. The guy ran off with half the guns, and about twenty of our men didn’t make it. Seo being one of them.” You stifled a gasp at the man’s words, making Jungkook turn his attention to you.

He was trying to keep your attention off the interaction, caressing your face with his fingers as he moved to place soft kisses on your jaw. But that just made you gasp again, his mouth meeting a spot just below your jaw. You felt him smirk into your skin, now placing open mouthed kisses as he continued to explore your neck, looking for the perfect spot to place his mark. 

You could vaguely hear the conversation taking place, your focus on your surroundings weaning as your body warms, aroused by the sensation of Jungkook sucking marks onto your skin.

You had not forgotten about yesterday’s events and neither had Jungkook, who was determined to cover the bruises on your neck with one’s of his own making. He almost wished that man was still alive, just so he could play around with him before his demise. Instead, he would settle with knowing his ministrations would bring you pleasure and prove to the world you were theirs. 

He growls into your neck at his thoughts. You were theirs just as much as they were yours. That thought alone made him hard, his tip already leaking in anticipation.

You gasp as you feel him bite on the skin of your shoulder, his tongue working to soothe the red skin. You don’t understand your feelings, goosebumps making themselves known all over your skin as you bare your neck even more for him. You don’t know why you are moving so fast with them, when you just found out about their bond with you. You feel like you should be moving slow, getting to know them before letting them mark and suck at your skin. But you can’t help it.

“Is that a woman gasping?” One of the men ask, moving to the side to see behind his bosses as he hears your reactions to Jungkook. He stops when a gun is pointed at him by Taehyung, the man not in the mood for the lackey’s games and certainly not wanting the man to lay eyes on his mates in such a vulnerable position.

Soon enough the men leave and the boys turn around to find you and Jungkook on the couch, a grin on his face as you try to catch your breath, a large mark on your neck from Jungkook’s actions while your face is flushed.

“Jungkook, next time, wait until they are gone.” Jin states, hand on his hip as he watches his mate try to fake an innocent expression. Jungkook slowly moves off of you, bringing you up into a sitting position.

“But hyung! I was trying to keep her attention on me so she didn’t hear the details.” Jungkook says, a little whine coming on at the end.

“You took her attention all right.” Jimin mutters under his breath, still upset that he didn’t get the chance to kiss you when you guys were alone this morning.

Jimin knew that you would begin to feel the bond more now that you had accepted them and were near them. He was just waiting for your soul to push you to complete the bond. While he wanted you to make the conscious choice to mate with them, he also didn’t want to see you go through the pain of the pull. 

Your constant need to be near one of them was already a little concerning, given your previous slight aversion to physical touch. Not that any of them were complaining given their dragon’s need to be near you, but this meant that the bond was pushing you quicker than they thought.

“Jin’s right. Next time just take her out of the room. Only we should be able to hear the noises she makes.” Namjoon looks at Jungkook, his words making you blush. You don’t understand how they can just be so blunt about things like that.

You can feel your face becoming red, the heat from earlier turning into embarrassment know that you are realizing that those men heard your gasps. You groan, bringing your hands to cover your face, resting your elbows on your knees. You don’t think you can look anyone in the eye ever again.

“Aww, look. Our baby mate is embarrassed.” Hobi coos, leaning on Yoongi as they see the blush making its way down your neck. Yoongi can’t help but to think about how flustered you were getting after learning you weren’t as quiet as you wished. He couldn’t wait to see how flustered you got after mating with you; would you still be embarrassed after that?

“Okay guys let’s leave her alone. We all know this is new for her. Plus, she will get used to everything soon.” Jin spoke, making his way to you and helping you off the couch.

“Let’s get you to bed. You have work tomorrow morning.” He maneuvers you to the staircase, before turning around to look at Jungkook, his earlier actions evident as his cock is now leaving a small wet patch on his sweats.

“While I’m gone, someone help Jungkook with his mess.”

-*-*-

Despite being the first one at the shop, you were still late by your own standards. You had woken up on time that morning, but Jimin had insisted on you staying in the bed he snuck into the night before, claiming his “need to cuddle” was a health risk and he could die if he didn’t get my cuddles. 

You needed Jin and Namjoon’s help just to get his arms off of you, his strength clearly overpowering your own and making it difficult to fight against his grip. Then, when you tried using the make-up one of their maids as brought you, Jungkook found out and proceeded to wipe off the make-up you spent a half hour covering.

“How are people supposed to know you are ours if you are covering up our marks?” He spoke softly to you, almost scolding you as he used his spit to rub at your neck. 

You didn’t know that it was also his own way to make sure his scent remained on you even with your perfume. You had to hold in your gag at the thought of his saliva all over your neck, but them remembered that his saliva was also on your skin last night when he made the marks on your neck. 

Jungkook elected to ignore the blush creeping up your cheeks, instead promised to make new marks if you covered the ones already there with make-up.

So now you were walking into the café with a large scarf covering your neck to make your usual tea. It had been two days since you had been here, and you can already tell that Jiah and Seojoon had tried to make a large dent in the shipment you had received yesterday morning. You had tried to come in yesterday, but none of the boys or Chaeyeon would let you, Yoongi effectively “losing your store keys”.

A sigh escapes your lips as you place the mug of tea onto the counter, looking at the three large boxes of books and magazines that still needed to be unpacked and put away. You know it is going to take you several hours, if not the whole day, to effectively put the books away.

A loud ding makes its way to your ears, the front door opening and Chaeyeon walking through, her phone in hand as she talks. She pauses as she sees you, a slight raise to her eyebrow as she moves to place her things in the back.

When she moves back to the front, you are already entangled in opening the boxes and cataloging the new inventory. Your system consisted of a single notebook that belonged to your grandmother, one of the only things to survive the fire. Some of the pages were scorched and charred while most of the pages remained the same, your grandmother and grandfather’s handwriting still eligible in their perfected script.  

The notebook was the most efficient way, for you, to catalog everything. It is also one of the reasons Seojoon calls you an old woman, complaining about your lack of technology in the shop and how useful websites were when keeping inventory. You didn’t care. He could pry your notebook from you dead hands if he so badly wanted to bring computers into your shop.

A couple hours pass by as you and Jiah continue to work on the inventory, not even making a dent in the first box. Chaeyeon helped when she could, but more and more customers were coming in for coffee and you still had a shop to run. Today seemed to become a busy day as you were constantly helping customers find books and giving other’s recommendations for books.

You were slowly starting to become overwhelmed, everything beginning to bother you. Stripping yourself of your sweater, you slowly pat your arm hoping to stop the itching without damaging the slowly healing skin. Moving back to your stack of books, you pick up a couple of Harper Lee books and maneuver your way through a couple aisles to put them away. 

Once done, you turn to make you way back to Jiah when you walk into a solid wall… or chest. You clutch at your chest, willing your heart to slow down.

“Oops. Pardon me. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The man moves closer to you, reaching around you to grab one of the books behind you on the shelf. Your breath hitches at his proximity, his nose almost touching your own, making you turn your head to the side to avoid him. When he pulls back, you are quick to move to the side, creating distance between you and the man.

You watch him as he turns to you, his smile turning into a smirk. The vibes you were getting from this man were making the hair on your arms stand straight, a cold chill going down your back. The man, book still in hand, takes a step towards you, and continues to move forward until your back is against another shelf.

“Why are you nervous? I was just trying to get a book.” He asks, voice low and raspy as he speaks. He grabs your wrist and brings it up to your chest, using the leverage to keep you in place.

“Please let go of me.” You demand, trying to pull your arm from his grasp. His grip only tightens at your movements. Flashbacks to the alley cover your vision, the feeling of hands gripping your neck and moving down your torso has you tensing your back. You try to move your head away from the man holding your wrist, his eyes watching your every move and the look on his face making you nauseas.

“Now why should I do that? You seem to like it when those other men touch you.” His words make you freeze for a second. Is he talking about Bangtan?

“Let me go.” You respond, choosing to ignore his words.

“I don’t think I will.”

“I think you will let go of her.”

Your head turns to the side to see Jimin and Hobi at the entrance to the aisle you were in, flowers and a bag of food in hand. You swear for a second you see their eyes flash red before they start walking to you. The man in front of you still hasn’t let go of your arm, instead, he moves so that he is facing the two men. 

Seeing the man’s hand still holding your wrist, Hobi moves forward and pulls the man off of you, yanking you behind him and putting himself in between you and the man, Jimin quickly coming to your side.

“Now here is how it is going to go. You are going to walk away, and out of the store. You are not going to come within 50 feet of the building and are not going to come near our girl again.” Jimin speaks, his tone low and deep. You can’t deny the possessive nature of the boys isn’t attractive as hell, especially when they call you ‘their girl’.

You watch the man’s face become red, his hands clenching into fists. Your own grip tightens as you hold onto the back of Hobi’s shirt.

“Your girl? How good is she if you all pass her around like a toy?” At his words, you can feel Hobi’s chest vibrate, what you can imagine as the beginning of a growl moves through is chest. Slowly, the man’s face becomes blank, his skin becoming pale as he takes a step back. You scrunch your nose in confusion, wondering what happened to make the man become so pale.

“You have ten seconds to leave.” Hobi states before moving his hand up and counting down with his fingers. The man quickly moves, almost tripping over his own feet as he disappears behind the end of the shelves. Once out of sight, Jimin and Hobi turn around, smiles on their face as they wrap their arms around you.

“Hey baby girl. We brought you some lunch. Chaeyeon told us how busy you were and so we figured you hadn’t eaten anything yet.” Jimin said, holding up the bag of food Jin so clearly made. You were stunned by their quick change in emotions, curious to how someone’s emotions can change so quickly and so drastically.  

“I..uh..what? How did you get him to leave so quickly?” You look up at Hobi as he takes your hand and walks with you to the front.

“It was nothing, baby.” He states, waving his other hand in indifference.

-*-*-

You push open the door to your apartment after leaving the shop for the night only to come face to face with your living room and kitchen being filled with bouquets of roses, sunflowers, and daisies. You pause in the doorway, Chaeyeon stumbling into your back as your mouth hangs open in shock.

“Hey why did you just—” The words get caught in Chaeyeon’s throat upon seeing the expanse if the room covered floor to ceiling in vases of flowers. You hear the jingling of your keys as they fall out of your hand, the impact of them hitting your foot breaking you out of your stupor.

“Oh my…” You whisper, slowly making your way to the nearest bouquet resting on the small table in your entryway. You see a small card resting in between a couple of the roses within the vase, picking it up to see a small note written in beautiful calligraphy.

Little One,

We hope you find the flowers as beautiful and ethereal as we find you.

Please remember to eat dinner and get lots of rest.

Love,

Your Mates

You couldn’t help but blush, feeling the warmth climb up your cheeks as you reread the note again and again. You couldn’t believe that they were going out of their way to do something like this. Reading the note for the last time, you figure out that either Jin or Yoongi were the ones who wrote it, given the wording of the last sentence. Those two are always making sure you are taking care of yourself.

“So, I’m guessing by the blush taking over your face and neck that your boyfriends decided to take a page out of one of the romance novels my mom likes to read and send you enough roses to last a couple of years that will go bad within a couple of days because neither of us have a green thumb and can barely keep ourselves alive?” You choke on your saliva at your best friend’s words, the blunt words making you almost short circuit.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She says before walking away to the kitchen, maneuvering through all the vases. You look around at all the flowers, trying to figure out what you are going to do with them; they can’t all stay here when you can barely walk through your apartment.

The doorbell ringing brings you out of your planning. You make your way to open the door, seeing a gentleman in a nice suit holding a tray in front of you, a box resting on the top.

“Miss Kim?” The man asks, not once looking you in the eye, his head bowed.

“Um, yes?” You say, your tone rising slightly at the end, questioning his existence, and wondering what this man is doing in front of your door.

The suited man doesn’t respond, he just holds the tray in front of him, both hands underneath the tray, moving forward indication you to take the box from the tray. You wait a couple seconds before reaching for the box. The box is slightly heavy in your hands, the bottom emitting heat making your hands warm.

The man doesn’t say anything else, just bows deep before making his way back towards the staircase.

“What the heck is going on?” You ask yourself, turning back around and making your way to Chaeyeon after closing and locking your front door again. You sit at the counter, placing the box on top and trying to open it.

“What is that?” You hear Chaeyeon ask from your right side, watching you open the box.

Upon practically ripping open the lid of the box, you and Chaeyeon are shocked by the amount of food resting inside the container. Bowls of noodles and rice covered the bottom while small containers of sauces and meat laid on top. There was more food in the box, than you and Chaeyeon could eat in a week! Chaeyeon reaches forward, snatching up a note that you missed, reading it out loud.

Baby Girl,

I know you would forget to eat if we didn’t send food for you.

Please eat lots and don’t forget to tell me how good the food is!

Your Jin.

p.s. Chaeyeon can eat the food too.

-- Yoongi

How on earth did they think you would be able to finish this for a single meal?

“Did they really think I wouldn’t eat the food just because they told me not too? How dumb can they be? I don’t need their permission to eat the food they send you, especially when they send you enough rations to last you three weeks!” She rants, opening the containers and bringing a piece of meat to her mouth.

You can’t help but laugh at her, trying to cover it up with a cough as you grab some of the noodles out of the container.

“Why do you think they are doing all this?” Chaeyeon questions, gesturing to the room full of flowers and the food on the counter.

“I honestly have no clue.” You reply softly, resting your head on your palm as you continue to eat your noodles.

-*-*-

“Jin, you sent dinner for her, correct?” Namjoon looks towards his oldest mate, trying to make sure they were following the courting procedures properly.

“Yes. Unfortunately, Yoongi wrote a note on the bottom saying that Chaeyeon could eat the food as well.” Jin grumbles towards the end, his arms crossed and brows furrowed in disappointment. 

He wasn’t happy that the food he made for you was being eaten by someone else. He needed to make sure you were eating properly and couldn’t stand that Yoongi did what he did.

“Jin, I already told you, Y/N would have found it weird and would have been upset if we sent food only for her and not Chaeyeon as well. Chaeyeon is basically her sister and Y/N would do anything for her. If we don’t respect their relationship, neither of them will ever agree to our relationship with Y/N.” Yoongi had already had this discussion with them multiple times, but his mates were getting carried away with trying to woo you and prove that they could be good mates and take care of you.

They had been planning for over a week now how they wanted to court you, eventually deciding on the traditional dragon route; proving to the prospected mate that the courting dragons can provide anything they need or desire. This is usually done with gifts, food, and making sure that everyone else knows that you are being courted. Sometimes done in the form of jewelry or marks on the open skin, the ‘possession’ is to prove that you are taken.

While dragons are naturally possessive over their belongings, a mated or courting dragon can become borderline obsessive, doing everything in their power to make you theirs. And after the incident with Jimin and Hoseok at your bookstore, the boys had become enraged.

 It didn’t take long for Jungkook to find the man who dared to touch you. When Jimin and Hoseok returned home, the seven of them made their way to the man’s home, making sure that he wouldn’t be going near you in the future. Unfortunately, or fortunately in Yoongi’s opinion, Jungkook and Taehyung went a little overboard in their ministrations.

“Yoongi is right. We can’t possibly hope to complete the bond with Y/N if we don’t act accordingly with Chaeyeon. I know our main priority is our mate, but her friend means everything to Y/N, and we need to respect that.” Namjoon pauses before looking towards Jin, who is still pouting in his reclining chair.

“Jin, next time, don’t go overboard with making food for Y/N.” Jin tries to object but Namjoon holds his hand up, stopping Jin in his seat.

They all agreed to have Jin make meals to send to you, not trusting anyone else to make food for their baby mate. However, they also didn’t realize how seriously Jin would take this, making over two pounds worth of noodles and almost eight pounds worth of rice, not to mention the amount of meat he grilled. You could never possibly eat all of that food in a single setting, the exact reason Yoongi tried to make it better and write on the note that the food is also for Chaeyeon.

Namjoon turns to ask Yoongi a question but stops when he sees Jungkook raising his hand.

“Yes, Jungkook?” He asks, eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Do you think she would like diamonds or pearls?” He holds up his tablet, showing a couple of different images of necklaces, trying to decide which one you would like more.

“Jungkookie, Y/N seems to favor simpler fashion pieces. She doesn’t wear jewelry and often chooses comfort over fashion. I would go with a simple diamond necklace.” Taehyung answers, grabbing the tablet from Jungkook’s hands, swiping through the different options on the website Jungkook had up.

“Will the necklace have our names on it? We need everyone to know to not touch what is ours. Especially after the incident today. Maybe have the necklace engraved with Bangtan. That way everyone will know that she is ours.” Jimin spoke up, moving to stand behind Taehyung and Jungkook to look at the array of necklaces.

Despite wanting you to have independence and the option to make your own choices, Yoongi was quickly overruled by the side of himself that wants you to be completely dependent on them and proudly show the world you were their mate.

-*-*-

Over the next week, you had woken up to multiple packages on your doorstep. Most of the time it was breakfast for you and Chaeyeon, but other times it was jewels and clothing from stores you would have never even walked in front of let alone stepped foot inside. They would also send you boxes of self-care items, medicines, and creams for your burn. You had told them off-handedly that you thought you were becoming sick with how much your body was aching.

You were quickly becoming uncomfortable with the amount of money you knew they were spending on you and made sure to explain to them that you wouldn’t accept any more gifts from them.

You had shown up to their ‘house’ one morning before they could leave another package on your doorstep holding the same package from yesterday morning, the label Gucci making you almost carry the box with gloves so you don’t get germs on the expensive packaging.

Before you could even open the door, Mr. Choi was there, a sweet smile on his face upon seeing you about to knock on the door. After awkwardly moving your hand back down to your side, he moves to gesture you inside.

“The Sir’s have been expecting you miss.” You quirk your eyebrow up, questioning how they knew you would show up to their house at 5 in the morning. You nod, entering after thanking the man.

“The Sir’s are up in the library, Madam.”

“Thank you, Mr. Choi.” You smile warmly at him before making your way up the stairs. The box unmoving in your hands as you knock on the door to the library, trying not o jostle whatever expansive item was resting inside. The door opened only seconds after you knocked, as if the person inside was waiting right next to the door.

“Y/N-ie!! You’re here! I missed you!” You were quickly tackled by Taehyung, his arms wrapped tight around your waist, the box in your arm becoming squished as he moves his face into your neck, placing small kisses on the expanse of your skin.

“Okay Taehyung. Quit hogging our sweet mate. She doesn’t want your grimy hands all over her!” You hear Jimin yell, pulling Taehyung off of you and quickly replacing him.

“Hi baby. We missed you.” He whispers from his place in your neck, his head rubbing against your shoulder and neck where Taehyung was kissing.

You had long understood their need to scent you, as explained by Namjoon when Jungkook had decided to cover your neck with his, uh, kisses, that one morning. You were a little disgusted at first, but after learning it was their natural instinct to scent you, even with some questionable methods, you were slowly learning to accept it. 

However, you had told Jungkook that if he ever decided to do that again, he wouldn’t be allowed to scent you for a week, to which he pleaded and apologized.

Namjoon also explained to me that Jungkook is more connected to his dragon counterpart and thus is instincts and actions can be more that of his dragon. He will be more possessive than the rest of them, and he is more intense with his need to scent and protect his mates.

“It may be worse with you, given that you are younger than him, and the first mate he will be able to court.” Namjoon had said that morning, watching you try to cover your neck with the top of your hoodie.

Now, you were becoming used to their scenting, almost liking the way they needed to “have you smell like them.” You would be lying if you said you didn’t like how possessive they were of you. You hadn’t ever had anyone love you like this, let alone want everyone to know you were theirs. 

Of course, it wasn’t a normal relationship, and if they were humans, you probably would have already been running. However, this wasn’t a normal relationship, this was destined by fate, your soul reaching for them as they were reaching for yours.

“Okay, let’s let our baby mate breath. Jimin, let go of her and let her sit down.” Jin, the mediator, said as he moved forward to pull Jimin off of you and back down to his previous spot next to Hobi. You walk into the room, not sitting down in the empty spot next to Yoongi, moving to stand in front of the couches instead.

“Before you guys say anything, I need to tell you something. Or rather ask you guys something.” You begin, making sure they were looking at you and were listening to your words.

“I umm. I would really appreciate it if you could stop sending me all of the jewelry and clothes.” You hold up the unopened box of Gucci, making Taehyung cringe. “I appreciate the gifts, even though I don’t know why you are giving them, but I am uncomfortable knowing you guys have been spending so much money on me.” You take a breath in, waiting to see their reactions.

“Baby, do you not like our gifts. We picked them out just for you?” Jimin’s eyes begin to water as he questions you, his soul feeling rejected. Do you not think that they can provide for you?

“Petal, if you don’t like the clothes, I can take you out shopping later? Maybe we can go to Louis Vuitton if you don’t like Gucci?” Taehyung stands up, worried that you didn’t like the gifts he sent you. He and Jungkook picked them out themselves, even buying matching outfits for you all.

“No Tae, it’s not the brand of clothes. I just, I’m not used to gifts and don’t think you should be spending so much money on me.” You try to reason with the dragons, hoping they would understand where you were coming from.  However, all you receive in return is a loud yell of protests from the men.

“Baby girl, do you not think we should spoil the person we have been waiting years for? This is the least we can do for making you wait so long.” Namjoon says, quieting the rest of the boys.

“If you truly don’t want the gifts, we will stop, but it is how our people show that we are able to provide for our prospective mates.” Jin follows, ignoring the small protests from the younger men. Jin knew that telling you about their people’s traditions would get you to accept their courting gifts. It might be manipulative, but he knew how big of a heart you had.

You physically deflate at their words, now understanding what the meaning of your words might have done to them. You didn’t know the gifts held meaning for them, and here you were telling them to stop giving you gifts.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know…” You pause, trying to find the words to say but Hobi stops you, moving to embrace you from your place still in front of them.

“No princess, it is our fault. We should have told you about the courting process, even if you have already accepted to being our mate. We just wanted to show everyone that we can take care of you and that you are ours.” You blush at his words, your body reacting to the possessive undertone of Hoseok’s words.

Hoseok moves back, Namjoon now moving to take his place in front of you, a small smile on his face and something in his hands.

“We were going to wait until after we completed the bond, but we,” He gestures to the men now gathered around you, “feel that this is the right time for you to have your own.” He opens the small box in his hand to reveal a diamond necklace with a small pendent. You don’t even know how to react. The necklace seemed so simple at first, but upon Namjoon placing the necklace on your neck, you realized just how important it was.

The small pendent held the symbol for their mafia, Bangtan, with their initials surrounding the small symbol. Only the inner circle has the symbol on their person, showing how important they are to the group. However, no one has the initials of the boys, which must mean that this is special only to you.

You look up at the boys, small tears pooling in your eyes as you hold onto the pendent. Having something like this, is surreal. You know you aren’t a part of their business, given the boys want you nowhere near it, but they still want you to be a part of them, of their inner circle.

“We know that you feel uncomfortable with gifts, but this is more than a gift.” Namjoon starts to speak. “This is a sign of our love, to let everyone know that you are protected and loved by us. You are now a part of us. Someone that we would do anything and everything for. We know that this relationship, this bond, isn’t considered normal by any means, but we wouldn’t change the outcome for anything.” Namjoon moves closer, one hand now cupping your cheek while the other intertwines your fingers together, holding your hand close to his heart.

“Just in the time we have known you, we already know that you are a gift given by the gods. You are more than we could have ever wished or dreamed for in a mate. We will do everything in our power to protect you, protect our love.” You have tears streaming down your face at this point. Never did you expect for the men you have fallen for to just pronounce their love for you in this way.

You rush forward to wrap your arms around Namjoon, not knowing how to react to their proclamation but also so you could hide your now red face in his chest. You feel him chuckle at your movement, bringing his arms to wrap around your back and bring your almost impossibly closer. After a couple of seconds, he moves his hands to your thighs, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around his waist as he brings you both to sit on the closest couch.

You let him manhandle you into a comfortable position, keeping your face snuggled into his chest, not trusting the others to not tease you about your blushing face. You relax into his hold, loving the feeling of being held, not that you would ever admit it. The feeling of someone petting your hair almost makes you sigh.

“Baby, don’t you have to get to your shop soon?” You hear Yoongi ask, his voice soft as if trying to persuade you to stay there, in their arms. To be honest, you had completely forgotten that you were supposed to open the store this morning. You groan in response to his question, causing laugher to fill the room. You just want to stay in this position forever.

“You don’t have to go in baby. You can stay here with us and just keep the store closed for today.” Jimin suggests, persuasion filling his tone as he lowers his voice. None of them want you to leave.

“Yeah! We can all stay here and cuddle and watch movies.” Taehyung adds on, catching onto what Jimin is trying to do. You move away from Namjoon’s chest a little, so that your voice isn’t muffled by his shirt.

“That does sound nice but I can’t close the shop just because I want to stay and cuddle with your guys.” You pout slightly, moving to get off Namjoon’s lap, only to be pulled back in by his arms.

“Yes, you can! Everyone needs a break every now and then.” Jungkook speaks this time, now the youngest men all on the same page and trying to convince you to stay with them, knowing that you secretly love to be held.

“Have you guys no sense of responsibility? Have we spoiled you too much?” Jin shouts, aiming his words to the youngest bunch sitting across from you on the reclining sofa.

“Baby don’t listen to them. We understand that you have work. I will take you today. We can stop on the way and get you some breakfast!” Jin helps you out of Namjoon’s grip, his arms trying to keep you in his embrace without verbally asking you to stay.

-*-*-

As much as you wanted to give the continuous stream of gifts back to them, you kept each and every one, choosing to wear the least flashy and expensive clothing to work, and then wearing the rest whenever you go to see the boys at their home. You didn’t want to make them upset that you weren’t wearing their gifts, especially Taehyung who you knew spent hours picking out the ‘perfect outfits’ for you.

Jin had also managed to size down the meals he sent for you, grumbling and whining about the fact that you weren’t eating enough even though he fed you more than anyone would be able to eat.

What made you feel soft and small was the fact that the boys would take turns to rub the burn cream that Yoongi had bought on your arm. The boys were very careful and gentle with you, not applying to much pressure and taking the time to massage the cream into your marred skin.

You were still extremely insecure about your burn, not wanting anyone to see it. Other then Chaeyeon and her family, no one else had seen it, besides the small marks on your wrist and neck that can’t be hidden by the clothes that you have. And whenever anyone had seen them, they would always look at you weird, give you dirty looks, and overall make you uncomfortable. The boys, however, never made you feel that way.

You felt loved for and taken care of whenever they put the cream on you, not making a big deal of it. They would talk to you about your day, ask you how you are, and then proceed to tell you about all the kisses and cuddles that you owe them as payment for working and leaving them at the house by themselves.

Today, it was Yoongi’s turn to help you with the cream. He had everything laid out on the side table as you sat on the couch next to him, a pillow on your lap. You had already removed your sweatshirt, well, Jungkook’s sweatshirt, your tank top moved a little so he could have access to the entire burn.

“Okay baby. It’s a little cold this time. Mini accidently put it into his skin care fridge.” Yoongi puts some of the cream on his hand and rubs it, trying to warm it up in his hands before putting it onto your skin. He starts at your hand, massaging the slightly cold cream on your skin. He takes his time, making sure not to aggravate the peeling and healing skin.

Due to the intensity of the fire, and where you tried to knock the door down you have minimal feeling in your bicep, the nerve endings almost completely gone. You have normal feeling in your hand and shoulder, though sometimes it feels like you don’t.

The feeling of his hands, the close proximity you hold, is driving you crazy. You have been feeling under the weather lately and being with the boys almost makes you forget you were even sick. Being around them, and being in their hold, helps you to feel at peace.

The closer he gets to your shoulder, the closer he moves, his warm breath now reaching your cheek as he talks. You can’t even focus on his words, trying to steady your own breathing and slow down your fast beating heart. He seems to notice this, a small smirk forming on his face as he sees your cheeks becoming red.

“Wow, love, if I would have known you would feel this way about me massaging your arm, I would have done this earlier.” He moves in front of you, now done with your arm. His voice drops as he moves the hair out of your face.

“Stop,” you whine, pushing him away as a laughs, “it’s not funny. I can’t help it when I am surrounded by attractive men all the time.”

“Attractive men, you say? Well, how can I not do this when I am in front of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen?” He moves closer, cupping your cheek as he leans in. The tension thick as his lips move against yours, first his touch soft but quickly becoming fueled by passion.

You have kissed them plenty of times before, but they were small kisses, done in passing or whenever Jin or Jimin become clingy. This kiss is a long time in the making. You had always been told about the fireworks you would feel when being kissed like this, but you didn’t realize they had been lying. These weren’t fireworks; there were bombs going off in your abdomen, the rabid butterflies creating carnage on your insides as Yoongi moves you to lie down on the couch.

You are unsure of where to put your hands this time, this kiss quickly becoming something entirely out of your desires.

As if he had been reading your mind, Yoongi grabs your hands, bringing them to rest around his neck as he moves down to your jaw, making his was to the sensitive skin on your neck. Despite the passion and instinct placed into the kiss, Yoongi was still careful about your arm, making sure to keep it from rubbing against the material of the couch.

“You. Are. So. Beautiful. My love.” Yoongi whispers in between placing kisses on your neck. You can’t help but sigh into the room, his touch doing all the right things to you, your arousal quickly making itself known, your underwear becoming wet as he moans out praises against your skin.

“Now what do we have here? Yoongi, you better be making our princess feel good.” Your open your eyes to see the rest of the boys standing against the entrance to the living room, their stares doing nothing to combat the arousal at your fingertips. Nerves non-existent as the boys watch you both.

“I can smell her arousal from here.” Jimin whines, his nostrils flaring at the scent of you, his own nerves burning to aid his mate in making you feel good underneath them. He can’t wait to feel your body under his, to see your face change as he explores your body, marking you like a work of art, on display for him and his hyungs to worship.

You kept your eyes on the men at the door, unwavering even as Yoongi helped you out of your shirt, your sports bra on full display as he continues his ministrations.

“You like it when they watch you be devoured huh? Do you want them to help? Want your mates to make you feel so good, baby?” Yoongi mutters, his mouth dangerously close to the top of your breasts, your nipples hardening as you moan.

“I need your words, baby. Do you want your mates to make you feel good?” He bites into your chest, his tongue soothing the skin as you whimper.

“Yes. Want you to mate me.” The room quickly becomes cold, everyone freezing at your words. Yoongi pulls himself away a little bit, hovering over you now as he moves so he could look you in the eye.

“Baby. Are you sure? We don’t want to pressure you into mating with us. We are perfectly okay to wait. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” His words reassure you even more that you are doing the right thing. No one else would have made sure you were doing what you wanted. The seven men, your mates, would still put you first.

You nod your head, a smile forming as you pull at the hair on his neck.

“Yes. I’m sure. I want you. All of you.” You turn to look at the other six, still frozen, listening to your words, smiles forming as they see the reassurance and trust on your face.

At your words, Yoongi moves off of you, helping you off the couch. Once on your feet, Jungkook is sweeping you off your feet, moving to carry you up to their shared bedroom.

“No princess should ever have to walk when her prince is around.” He whispers, placing soft kisses to your skin as he moves. You return the favor, your lips moving to his jaw as he moves, your touch now doing things to him, his feet moving faster to reach the room, throwing the door open and placing you gently in the middle of the bed before climbing on top.

“You should probably expect not to go into work tomorrow. Or the next day.”

[hermywolf]

dean having abandonment issues and never thinking he’s anyone’s priority. cas looking at him and saying “you’re my favorite.” “your favorite what?” dean says. cas smiles softly. “you’re just my favorite”

[coolx2-nodoubt]

❧ HUG ME ❧

╰┈➤Pairing: Llewyn Davis x GN!Reader

Warning: Angst/cussing & fluff at the end💜

Prompt: Can I hug you?

A/n: This is my first prompt ever. I'm pretty happy with this, hope you like it aswell. English is my second language so please go easy on me and let me know if there is any type of mistake.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

You just finished taking a warm bubbly bath. Today you decided to use a new cinnamon scented shampoo for your hair. When you got out and went to your bedroom to pick out your pyjama from your closet, you heard the doorbell ring. You turned around and wonderd who could be coming here at this late hour. But then it hit you, there could only be one person...

So you swiftly wore your clothes. Checked in the mirror if you looked 'presentable'. And made your way to the front door. You held down the buzzer to speak.

"Hello? Who is this"

"Hey I'ts me, Llewyn. Can I plea-"

You quickly opened the door before he could finish, happy to see him at your apartment after a long time not hearing from him. But he wasn't, he looked sad, dirty, with his guitar over his shoulder, very little amount of clothes for this cold weather, shivering a bit even.

"Llewyn, hey come in. How've you been?"

You step aside to let him in, with a worried look.

"Hey, thx. Yeah I've been better. I actually needed a place to crash for the night. Can I ?"

"Yeah absolutely, please"

He walked inside looked around your place to see all the Halloween decoration you have placed. He can tell you took your time with it. He dropped his guitar on the ground near the sofa. And turned around to face you, he looked so tired.

"What happened Llewyn? Why do you seem so..upset?"

He slouched down with a groan, looking at the floor.

"My record deal, they cancelled it. Didn't even fucking bother to let me know before hand. Only found out when I got there"

He looked tired, sad, almost look like he is about cry. You just wanted to hold him close. But you accidentely blurted it out.

"Can I hug you?"

As soon as it left your lips you regretted. Did it seem too much? Was he gonna be wierded out? Will your friendship be ruined? I mean there is this tension between you two. There was this time where the both of you nearly kissed outside the bar, but he backed out for some reason,maybe the feelings were one-sided only?

But he looked up at you, and slightly nodded looking down again. It took you by surprise, you hesistantly lifted your arms and wrapped around his torso tightly placing your chin on his shoulder. He did the same.

As soon as he placed his forehead on your shoulder. Tears welled up in his eyes. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He felt his throat closing up. He couldn't do this anymore. He is too exhausted.

"Let it out. Let it ALL out"

Stroking his back up and down slowly. Soothing him with comforting words, letting him know that it's gonna be alright. That it's just another bad day.

He was still trying to speak while whimpering.

"I just wished- I just wished that my life wasn't this fucking bad. Waking up on a bench, hunting down for food everyday with the little amount of money I have. Always relying on the money I earn from the bar. Running out of money constantly. Asking people that I can crash at their place so I don't go to sleep freezing, it's all to embarrassing. I'm just so fucking tired of this. There's no reason for me to live.."

"Hey hey hey, listen"

You picked up his face with your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Don't say that ok. Look it's not the end of the world, alright. Yes you've hit a couple of unlucky speed bumps. But it does not mean you should give up on your dream. You have a beautiful singing voice and you play the guitar beautifully, better than anyone else I've heard. They are just too stupid to realise it.

And besides your wrong, there's a reason, well someone...

You looked deeply in his eyes, taking a breath, before confessing.

"Me .. I really like you Llewyn, i've liked you for a very long time"

He looked at you momentarily, contemplating if he heard you right. Then he pulled you in by your waist for a kiss. Holding his hands up to cup your cheeks. His lips felt so warm and soft on yours, molded perfectly with yours, as if you were made for eachother. You grabbed his neck to deepen the kiss. His beard tickling your chin but you didn't care. To focused on kissing him.

When he parted away from you, you tried to catch up to his lips. He chuckled at you. Both of you staring at eachother in adoration. You couldn't believe he kissed you. HE KISSED YOU. To dazed to even realise he was trying to say something..

"I'm sorry for not kissing you that night, I chickened out. I just felt like I wasn't good enough for you. I thought you deserve someone better..better than me."

With your head slightly tilted, you stroke his cheek with your thumbs.

"You are perfect Llewyn, we are made for eachother. You caught my eye ever since I heard you sing at that bar I couldn't stop myself from staring at you, listening at your voice."

Both of you smiling at eachother like idiots. You give him a quick peck on his lips before asking him.

"Why don't you go take a bath and get dressed I'll bring you some clothes and I'll make us some food. And this time you will sleep in my bed, alright?"

He smiled at you nodding. Giving you quick peck on your lips before leaving you to go to the bathroom.

You placed some clothes for him on the bed while you made your way to the kitchen to make some warm soup and some snacks on the side. To busy with the soup you didn't even noticed that Llewyn got out of the bathroom. He slowly came up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder. You were startled, but you easily eased into the hug and turned around in his arms and placed your hands on his chest.

"Your hair smells amazing by the way"

"Now you noticed it?"

He chuckles to himself

"Yours too, Llew"

After placing both of the bowls and the glasses on the table. You sit together facing eachother. You pulled your hand out for him to take, which he gladly did. You took a sip from your glass of water before asking him.

"So are we official...are we really doing this?"

"Was it not obvious enough?!"

THE END

Thx for reading , comments & reblogs are appreciated <3

[fanfictasia]

Whumpuary Prompt 1

Nightmares 

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Leap of Faith

In her dreams, she’s trapped back on Kamino, being poked and prodded with needles and even an occasional scalpel. No matter how much she thrashes and screams, she can’t get free, and she knows she knows she’ll never ever make it out of here and –

Omega jolts awake with a strangled gasp, heart pounding. The room is dim, almost entirely dark, and above her, she can hear movement as Crosshair shifts. If she was home, on the Marauder, she would probably go find one of the others and stay with them. The presence of one of her brothers next to her would go a long way in helping her forget about the nightmare, so she could sleep again. But… they aren’t here, and she doesn’t know how Crosshair would react if she crawled into his bunk with him.

So, she rolls over, and closes her eyes, but that lasts for no longer than a minute before she swears that she can feel needles touching her skin, cool and impersonal hands holding her still as they make incisions to take tissue samples. She shudders, sitting up and scooting back until she’s touching the wall. It’s better than nothing, and it makes her feel safer, less exposed.

Crosshair shifts again, the noise loud in the otherwise quiet room, and he climbs down to the floor. He stands there, looking at her for a moment, before speaking. “I heard you wake up.” There’s a strange neutrality to his tone, his words quiet.

Omega nods. “Nightmare,” she whispers, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” She isn’t surprised though; she’s seen how quickly the others wake up, even Wrecker. They can go from fast asleep to awake and alert in a matter of seconds, sometimes. Of course, Crosshair would be the same.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” He sounds hesitant and uncertain, out of his element. It’s so much like how Hunter was at first.

Not really. “Just… stuff that happened when I was captured,” she admits. She doesn’t want to talk about specifics yet. It’s still too soon, and the memories are too fresh. “Can you stay?” She asks before she loses the courage to, though she still holds her breath, afraid of being rejected. After their conversation earlier, she feels more hesitant. The last thing she wants is to upset or hurt him even more.

He sighs, and though he doesn’t answer, he sits down at the end of her bunk, leaning against the wall next to her, crossing his arms. His proximity is soothing, and Omega cautiously shifts a little closer, though not actually close enough to touch him. “I miss the others,” she blurts out, because their absence is so glaringly obvious now, and she aches to be back with them, surrounded by the familiarity of them. “But I’m glad you’re here.”