I am a cisgendered woman. I identify and declare myself as a cisgendered woman. But there are gendered terms even I wish not to be referred by despite them often being assigned to a cisgendered woman. My choice to claim what gendered terms are used to call me by is important to me. Then there are also gendered terms I really don't mind at all and have no issue with anyone calling me by them - even if I do not personally claim them for myself.
The thing is - it's not about whether you're cisgendered, transgendered, bigendered or agendered. It has nothing to do with what “gender” you are or aren’t as such. It's to do with not being able to identify and declare who you are. With not being able to CHOOSE for yourself. Because you should be able to.
We are assigned either "male" or "female" at birth. That's the default. It's changed somewhat now but it is still the standard practice in some cases and in some countries. To have to be either a "man" or a "woman". The problem is the person themselves is not at a developed age where they can identify and declare their own gender. Either the hospital/establishment of where they are born or their parents decides that for them. And when the person is at an age when they are developed enough to decide for themselves, they're expected to stay with their assigned gender. They're not expected to change it - because they can change it. They can change it because it was never their decision to be it. This is what the whole fight is about when it comes to gender. It's not the "change" that's important. IT'S THE DECISION. We should be able to identify, declare and claim for ourselves WHO WE ARE. It should not be decided for us.
The belief that identity is fixed or even that it exists at all is part of an old paradigm that is no longer relevant to the way most of us live today. Today - you don't even need to know somebody's name to have a relationship with them. You don't have to know any of the attributes they were assigned with at birth in fact. Yes, it's a nice thing to get to know a person by those attributes if they wish for it. But it's not necessary. Identity is a human concept. And it's an outdated one. You do not NEED to be anything to live, to experience, to explore, to grow, to evolve, to BE. The insistence of that being the truth is the problem. It's why so many are uncomfortable with ASSIGNATIONS or ASSUMPTIONS of any kind when it comes to gender or name. Because, to them, it is not their identity.
