#found this gem

[obsess-over-ink-on-dead-trees]

[cactusismydisguise]

source (x)

[nightmare-ish-writing]

Found this little one and it reminded me of graecie

[markothehusky]

[fluorescent-bulbs]

[the13thh0ur]

Welp, I got what I wanted but at what cost?

[hibou088]

I don't feel human

I don't really feel human. I don't know what I feel like. I'm so tired of hiding the depth of my feelings. I'm tired of being misunderstood and trying to see the world through the eyes of everyone else.

I just want to be normal for a bit. Feel human.

My love is so different than theirs. My feelings are so different. I don't know...

I can feel them and I can mimic their emotions but I don't feel the same that they do.

I feel like an ideal incarnated into a human frame. I have no lust. No true sense of that romantic sort of love. I don't understand it and I don't like boxing my feelings into their little definition of love.

This goes so far beyond it. It is so much deeper. I wish there was someone who could understand. I speak one of their languages English of course but it is so confining. I can't find the right words and when I find something to say they take it wrong.

I just want someone to understand. I want to be able to be me completely, not a piece of me.

What I want is not normal. They can't seem to understand what I want. They expect me to want all the things they want.

I can't be like them. I am good at pretending. Very good they no longer know I'm pretending but at some point you have to stop. What then ? If I can no longer pretend to be human than what will I be ? I know who I am. I don't know what I am.

I am me most the time, but it is lonely. Because the real me is often something people can't comprehend.

I do not want the house with white picket fence and the scottie dog. I do not want the husband or wife or the children.

What I say is misunderstood. When I say I love people, I do not mean it the same way they mean it. It is deeper that they can grasp and it makes for a lonely life. I want to be able to tell people I love them and not have them misunderstand or mistrust that love. I need to be able to do that. It hurts to not.

It's not so much that I can't accept people... it's that they don't accept me. It's not like I'm really hiding me... it's like they can't wrap their minds around me and they don't understand how I love... I love like a child innocently... without the taint of physical and with a depth that people no longer have because they are still holding on to pain

Their pain is causing me pain because it won't allow them to allow me to love them like I want...

[fightingfoos90s]

Just found this gem 🥹✌️