Probably weirdly specific but: Does anybody know any trans men/trans masc creators (like on instagram or tiktok) who are in a relationship with a cis man?
I had no idea that testosterone would make me so effing emotional.
I am so emotional, my mental health symptoms are coming up again, which I hate, but I know it's going to be worth it because as I watch my body change I am feeling more like myself, happier with myself.
Anyone who sees this post please share this! A share is equal to donating because you're helping me spread the word ! Thank you so much for your time! I'm just tying to get my freedom lines! https://www.gofundme.com/keegans-freedom-lines
I want to gush about these two friends of mine I came out to yesterday because I'm so happy that they are my friends!
So if you want to read a story about trans joy and allyship read on!
First of all, I didn't plan on coming out to these two friends (married cishet couple) yesterday. However, they were very high on my list of people I want to come out to rather sooner than later because I was relatively sure they'd be supportive.
They have a 10-months-old kid and when they were thinking about names they already took into account the possibility that the sex assigned at birth might not align with their actual gender and chose a name accordingly.
One of them just very recently hosted a workshop in their church congregation on queer sensitive language and behavior.
There are a couple of gay/bi guys in our mutual friends group.
So, I had a relatively good feeling that they wouldn't be weird about it but, well, you can never be a 100% sure until you tell them, right?
I had planned on coming out to them via text during the next couple of weeks. But then yesterday happened and we all were kind of taken by surprise.
For context: I'd been using a more gender neutral nickname with them for a couple of months now but I hadn't told them the reason for it.
Yesterday, one of them asked me why I had changed my nickname. Totally out of the blue. Just because they were curious.
For a second I panicked because I don't have a safe answer for that. (When someone asks me why I cut my hair short, I usually simply say that I feel more comfortable that way and that's about it.)
My husband looked at me, knowing fully well too that this could be the moment and I immediately and with a nervous laugh went, "Don't look at me like that!" while thinking about what to say.
I don't know how long it took me to decide what to answer but then I thought Fuck it! I do want to come out to them anyway and this is probably the easiest opportunity.
"Well, actually that name is already outdated again."
"How may we call you now?"
I paused for another moment, pulling up all my courage and said, "Jamie."
I don't remember if I was asked or if I just told the following on my own account but I said, "I wanted to have a name that's neither female nor male."
I don't remember their exact reaction but I do remember that they reacted in a way that made me feel safe because I somehow knew they understood how big of a deal this is to me but at the same time they were so normal about it and the following conversation included lines like these:
"It's probably like leading a double life, isn't it?" (Referring to the fact that they are among the first people I'm coming out to)
"What's it like to choose a name for oneself? I mean, I know how hard it was to find a name for [their son]." (I told them that my husband helped me choose it.)
"You never know how people will react." (Referring to my horrible grandparents-in-law they also know about.)
"Are you planning on making it official?" (Yes, somewhen in the future. Not now immediately.)
"Just let us know how to adress you or refer to you when we meet [our mutual friends]." (Making it so clear that they understand how sensible that topic is.)
And then the conversation went back to totally unrelated topics.
When they were back at home, I received another message from them. They thanked me for being so open about it and trusting them so much. They told me they hadn't expected that to happen and admitted that they were overwhelmed and worried that their reaction came across weird. Also, that they didn't want to be too inquisitive but at the same time didn't want to appear like they don't care. They asked me how my new name is written and promised me that they will practice using it and that it doesn't change anything about our friendship.
I still feel strange about all of that. But that they actually know now is a good feeling. Two more people know about my true self now! That's huge and I can't wait to hear them referring to me by my new name!
Also, I feel extremely privileged that this coming out went so extremely well and that I can call these wonderful people my friends!
A little fun fact at the end: Their kid will now be the first person to know me exclusively by my chosen name which is pretty cool, too!
I'm through my first phase of feeling a bit more fem after finding out that I want top surgery and even during that phase I didn't feel any different about it. In terms of dysphoria that sucks of course, but at the same time it's SO REASSURING! No matter what my gender feels like I WANT TOP SURGERY! I feel way more settled in my decision now and definitely less angsty and insecure.
