How to actually get off your phone
For people with no "willpower"
Quick context: my phone has been my constant companion since I was 7 years old, and I’ve been trying to change since I was 12 years old. I’m an adult now, so I’ve been dealing with this for a long time.
I haven’t figured out everything, but I have tried many tips and tricks. Here’s my curated list of 10 practical, applicable advice:
Identify your type of internet addiction
Take a good look at what you actually do on your phone. What apps do you use? In what way?
There’s two patterns of internet addiction I’ve noticed: passive content consumption addiction, and active social media addiction.
If you: spend hours on youtube, scrolling tiktoks, tumblr posts, tweets, pinterest pictures… you have passive internet addiction.
If you: post constantly, multiple times a day, check stats, likes, comments, and always chats or texts people… you have active social media addiction.
You might also have a mix of both, but it’s worth seeing how and why you use your phone. What need are you trying to fill? What urge is driving you?
2. Be okay with constantly starting over
We often like to jump from 100% to 0%; from 8 hours of screen time to 1 hour. We impose impossible standard, and then get demotivated when it (unsurprisingly) fails.
Progress isn’t about a binary success/fail, or about the length of your streak of successes. Instead, it’s about trajectory: the direction of your behavior—whether you have more good days than before, better good days, longer, with shorter lapse between.
You will fail, you can’t rewire years of behavioral reinforcement immediately. Be ready to start over, again, and again.
(Have an emergency force reset for lapse, so you immediately get back on track. This could be: giving your phone to someone else, blocking your phone, going outside, writing down what exactly happened, even just getting up and away from it to drink some water. Simply put, take a step back into intentionally.)
Measure your progress not as a streak, but as a direction.
3. Go analog, but mindfully
Think about what phone use you could realistically replace with an analog object. We don’t want just mindless purchases that will just create more clutter and guilt.
For example, a purchase that made a big difference for me: an alarm clock. I don’t have to have my phone in my bedroom anymore. And as a bad example: I bought a dumb phone, and it doesn’t work for me (I mostly use it for music, so I could have just bought an MP3 player).
Other analog examples: kitchen timer, cookbook, journal or notebook, calendar or planner, DVD player.
Give yourself less reasons to reach for your phone.
4. Create an impractical homebase for your phone
Move your charger to a spot far enough from your bed or your couch that you can’t comfortably use your phone there. I personally put it in a drawer next to my TV. And then, before bed or when you’re doing something else, put your phone in its little home.
Increase friction between you and your phone; make your life less easy.
If you’re used to being on your phone all day and you decide to stop, you’ll have to constantly stop the urge. So, instead of having to make the right decision a thousand times, make it only once by using a blocker.
Specifically, I use one that doesn’t allow me to disable it (or rather, I can if I pay real money) called Digital Detox. Another option would be to use a blocker that requires a password that only another person knows, or generally one that can't easily be bypassed.
You can also use blockers to block specific functions in apps (like youtube shorts or instagram reels). I use Stayfree.
Give yourself less chances to make the wrong choice.
6. Include screen time in your schedule
Automatic, mindless screen time is really the problem here. That’s when it goes from enjoyable to harmful. So, if you’re someone that already likes schedules, I suggest scheduling screentime. BUT, schedule for who you are, not who you wish you were.
Plan for when you know you’ll want your phone (during meals, after work, before bed, etc.) I also recommend shorter periods, more often, not one big session (avoids the urges accumulating into a binge, and also avoids becoming too absorbed to stop).
Make your screen time more intentional.
7. Plan for your no-screen time
What do people even do without internet? If you spend 6-8 hours on it, your impulses are all wired for your phone; you won’t feel tempted by much else. If you stop a habit, you need to replace it.
Plan for what you’ll do during these no-screen time, or plan blocks of time (moving time, art time, chill time) to divide the hours.
And if you find that you have no motivation or concentration for the usual activities and hobbies, prepare smaller task that won’t feel as daunting to start: plan an outfit, clean a corner, drink water, lay down, look outside your window, listen to music, play with your pet, step outside, breathe for a moment, etc.
Rediscover boredom. Give yourself time and grace to relearn yourself and the world.
Even if the world has normalized it, it’s not healthy to constantly be available. It means that you reach for your phone to check messages, constantly. If no one told you: you’re allowed to not answer a text immediately.
Warn other people, plan for when you’ll check your messages, or plan time when you turn off notification. Your friends, partner, family, coworkers, they'll survive.
Give yourself the peace to not be tied to your phone.
9. Because it’ll feel better
Why do you want to get off your phone? If it’s for someone, or for productivity, it’ll be much harder to get the habit to stick.
Instead, I suggest building a library of moments to remind yourself, intrinsically, why you prefer it. In the moment, be mindful of how it feels to be off your phone.
When you feel demotivated, pull a moment from your library of memories, and remind yourself that it just feels better.
No trick can change your life. There’s no secret remedy to internet addiction. Instead, you should experiment and get to know what system of tricks work for you. There’s many failure points, so you need to find ways to address each when the time comes.
During the work week, while I’m already following a schedule, I also schedule screentime. On the weekend, I’ll just block it for half the day, but still schedule phoneless activities. If one day I feel like bringing my phone with me to bed, then I make sure to block it so I can’t use it the next morning.
You see my point: no one trick works at all time. You have to create a system that encourages positive change over time.
The goal is to reach for intentionality, not necessarily complete abstinence.
Do you guys have more tips for lowering screentime?
