Joy [4/10] — lohen x reader, NSFW, full chapter
A Good Bunny Stays in Her Pen [4/10]: Joy xsilverstar (AO3) chai-writes-stuff (tumblr) prev | fic masterlist | next chapter summary — you’re not just any woman. you’re one who’s been hurt before. smut flavor — oral (fem receiving) trigger warning(s) — panic attack
word count — 4.4k | ao3
It’s 8 AM at the precinct and the police force is split between those in the know and those who are not supposed to be. Lohen sits with the tiny spattering of detectives forced to recuse themselves, each and every one of them degenerates who spend too much of their free time drinking with bunny girls. Lohen’s not surprised that Varka and a few of the other detectives fall into this pool, but he’s certainly intrigued by the straight-laced woman stuck at the bottom with them.
“No way,” Lohen says with a snort. “You’re recused, Eula? I didn’t know you had a thing for bunny girls.”
Eula’s eyes narrow, her fingers typing away at her keyboard. In a cold voice, she answers, “I don’t. I just have a friend who works there. That’s all.”
“Right,” Lohen replies, his eyes gliding to the picture frame on her desk. “A friend.”
Eula swipes the photo of the brown-haired woman out of Lohen’s sight. She shoots back, “You’re recused as well. I presume you also have a friend at the cabaret.”
“Mm…mine’s more than just a friend.”
“...Good for you, then.”
“Want some tips?” Lohen asks snarkily, leaning back against her desk. “I may not look it, but I’m something of a romantic at heart.”
“I don’t need tips,” Eula hisses, her white cheeks turning red.
“But you said she’s just your friend.”
“She’s not—...you’re just trying to find someone else to wreak havoc on aren’t you?”
“Here’s some advice: start off by telling her you’re a lesbian.”
“You—!” Eula’s eyes bulge, her hands forming fists over her keyboard. “Look, she’s not my friend, she’s my partner! Are you satisfied?!”
Lohen snickers.
The door to the southern cubicles creaks open, a man with blue-hair and a wicked eyepatch strolling in. He looks at them all with a smirk, like he’s in on one big fat secret that he’d just love to hold over their heads. The man Lohen knows as Senior Detective Kaeya plops down into one of the various swivel chairs, folding his arms behind his head. He rotates from side to side, making the rusty axles go squee, squee, squee every time.
“You guys want to know, don’t you?” he asks, unprompted.
“We’re recused,” Eula says firmly. “You’re not supposed to tell us anything, Kaeya.”
“Who cares? It’s not like anyone here did it. And it really is quite fascinating.”
Lohen huffs, amused. “Not to hang myself or anything, but I was kind of there that night. You know I might be a potential person of interest, right?”
Kaeya’s eye gleams. “That’s all the more reason for you to want to know, isn’t it? I’m willing to share. If you beg me enough times.”
“I’m not begging you for anything,” Lohen answers with a laugh. “We all know you blab when you want to.”
“Hm…you’ve got a point.”
Squee, squee, squee. Like he’s observing a pack of animals at the zoo, Kaeya continues to stare and smile.
“...You’re killing me man,” one of the rookies says. “Just spill already.”
“Would Miss Goody-Two Shoes like to leave first?”
Eula crosses her arms. She looks at the photo frame, face-down on her desk, and says nothing.
“Alright then.” Kaeya gives them a toothy grin. “Albedo and Sucrose got the results on that gas chromatography test. The analysis of the champagne glass the victim drank from.”
The glass was preserved. Someone with a head on their shoulders must have responded to the case. The force is thin right now, so it must have been Sergeant Jean.
“What’d it show?” another rookie asks.
Kaeya pops his eyebrows. “Dichloromethane. For you newbies, that’s the kind of compound found in paint strippers and pesticides. Easy to get. Colorless. Incredibly deadly.”
“Shit,” rookie number one says. “You mean it’s a homicide?”
“Looks to be that way.” Kaeya rubs his chin, smirking. “But we’re struggling to place a suspect. We’ve got a lot of eyewitness interviews ahead of us.”
Lohen frowns. “Cameras?”
“Heh. It’s a business, but it’s not the Mond Bank. The manager handles the security system by herself…seems there was some kind of hardware error that slipped under her nose.”
“What?” Eula’s brows furrow. “That’s concerning.”
“Right? But what do I know?” Kaeya shakes his head, smiling. “One woman can only handle so much, right? Not her fault if the cheap security system doesn’t pull its weight. Though I imagine she’ll shell out a pretty penny for a new one, after this whole debacle.”
“Hopefully. Rosaria is an incredibly strong woman, but…” Eula’s hand rests on her photo frame. “She can’t handle it all herself.”
“Yep. So we’re just going to round up the usual suspects.”
“Hm.” Lohen turns his gaze to the window, arms crossed over his chest. “Seems about right.”
“Dude,” Theodore says, white-knuckling the steering wheel. “Why the hell would you go and do something like that without even talking to me? I thought we had a system!”
“We do,” Lohen answers. He holds his cellphone in one hand and a black brick-shaped device in his other. “Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.”
“You’re going to be, like, key suspect number one! What if they look into you so far that they end up finding the other things?! What if…what if we’re exposed?!”
“Calm down. They’re not gonna find anything.”
He taps the directional buttons on the brick, filling the LCD screen with strings of text. Navigating to the right shows a new wall of messages, and after a quick look down the list, he settles on a name.
Allec: Been a while since I’ve seen you, Bunny. Allec: I’ll pay you double for a date. No touching or anything. Allec: I’ll pay triple for above the belt. Allec: 4x for below the belt? Allec: Fuck, I’ll pay 5x just to see you. Please stop ignoring me. Allec: Please, Bunny. I miss you. Allec: You got a new guy or something? Pays more than I do? Allec: Just fucking answer me. Allec: You cunt.
“Lohen?”
His breath hitches. He feels that grin on his lips again, the one he always gets when bloodlust stirs at him. Theodore’s used to seeing it, but Lohen wipes it off his face anyway.
“No worries,” he tells the other man. “I just found the answer to our problems.”
It’s around noon when you type up a message to send Lohen. Last night, he had asked if you wanted to stay a while, and you accepted his offer. Since everything that’s happened at the cabaret, you still don’t feel right, and the last thing you want is to be alone.
Well, you’re technically alone. But you’re alone in Lohen’s condo. It feels safer than spending your next few days off at home. It eases your paranoia, if even just a little.
You’re probably just stressed. Maybe a little conflicted. Tohler had done something horrible to you, and something horrible happened to him in turn. Lohen’s insistent that it’s karmic retribution, so you should think of it that way too. Anything to ease the shivers at your spine.
You look down at your message and tap “send”.
[You] Hi, Lohen. Sorry to bug you while you’re working, but would you mind grabbing my mail on your way back? I usually get a few statements on the first of the month.
The grey “read” check lights up blue immediately. It’s probably because he’s on lunch or a break of some kind, but it makes your cheeks tickle when you imagine he’s reading it so fast because it’s from you.
[Lohen] Don’t worry about the statements. I’ve got all that handled.
You blink.
[You] What do you mean?
[Lohen] That you don’t have to worry about it. I got ya.
[You] But I have to know how much my bills are…
[Lohen] No you don’t ;)
[You] Are you saying you paid them for me????
[Lohen] I told you I’d take care of you, didn’t I?
Awestruck, you drop down onto his couch. Your jaw hangs open as you read his message again and again, ensuring that you haven’t misinterpreted his words. A heavy weight feels like it's been taken off your shoulders, but the pressure of reciprocation soon takes its place. What are you, a broke woman with a sea of credit card debt, supposed to do to repay a man who handles your problems so valiantly?
You fiddle with your thumbs as you debate your response.
[You] I’ve gotta do something for you.
[Lohen] Nah, it’s all good bun. Just rest up and feel better, yeah?
[You] Lohen. You can’t just pay all my bills and tell me not to do something for you in return.
[You] I mean, you literally saved my ass. I was scared just thinking about how much interest it’d be this time.
[Lohen] Hm…I guess if you really want to do something, you could decorate the condo? Since I’ve got a man’s sense of decor…or whatever it was you said lol
[Lohen] My card’s on the kitchen table.
[You] You pay my bills and now you’re giving me your card to spend more of your money????
[Lohen] Yeah :P It’d make me happy if I came back and the place looked like it’s ours.
Ours. What a deep meaning that word holds. How intimate it would be, to possess something with someone. How much closer it’d make you feel to him.
Your eyes sweep around the blank walls and undecorated furnishings. You envision a runner at the doorway, a collection of artwork and accent pieces studding the living room. Maybe even some bunny-themed cushions for his couch, that you’ll cuddle up to when he’s not home. You could make his space feel alive. Like you and him live here, together.
You’re smiling before you know it.
[You] Alright. Just remember you asked for this! ;) <3
[Lohen] Haha you won’t hear any complaints from me pretty girl <3
When Lohen unlocks his front door, he almost thinks he’s got the wrong house.
Thump!
His eyes take in the soft rugs and hanging portraits, the pretty glass jar that his homemade bubble gum now sits in instead of a random bucket of tupperware. He hears your feet running through the halls, and when your glowing face appears in the corridor, you’re grinning from ear to ear. You laugh as you propel yourself into him, tackling your arms around his neck with a girlish giggle.
His arms immediately encircle you. Against his ear, you say, “You’re finally back! I’ve been waiting for you!”
Shit, you feel like a warm blanket and smell like his body wash. His heart’s playing jumprope in his chest.
“You missed me?” he asks with a smile.
“Of course I did.”
You beam at him, your eyes twinkling with mirth. The halls around you sparkle, alive with your influence in his dwelling. Standing with him in the entryway, you look like a pretty housewife who’s over the moon that her husband’s come home safely.
To make matters even better, you kiss him. It’s a soft peck, the kind that makes his heart squeeze for you. Lohen’s laughing before he realizes it, pulling you in close for another one.
“Looks like you’ve been busy,” he says. “You definitely have a better sense of interior design than I do.”
“Hey, don’t praise me yet. You haven’t even seen everything.” You wink at him. “Come on, I’ll show you the living room.”
You grasp his hand, pulling him along behind you like an overexcited puppy pulls at its owner’s leash. He envisions a sweet blue collar around your neck for only a second, distracting himself from the thought with the texture of your palm.
“Do you like it?” you ask, looking between him and the den. “I even gave your marble a home.”
He’s not sure how you found a golden stand to perfectly house that old thing, but he’s never been surprised by your strokes of genius. His place looks brand new, and yet, you’ve retained the notes of him. Snow globes and metal ornaments and tiny little penguin figures—all things he likes, influenced by your touch. His eyes drop to the couch, where you’ve set a blue bunny cushion on one side and a pink bunny on the other.
“Lohen?”
You’re clutching your wrist, smiling at the ground as you subtly sway from side to side. He’s taking his phone out and snapping a picture of you before you even realize it.
“Hey,” you say, blinking rapidly. “Delete that. I probably look stupid.”
“You don’t look stupid,” he answers, laughing. “I took a pic ‘cause you look so cute.”
“Let me see,” you grumble.
“You’re just gonna delete it if I do that.” He smirks, slotting his phone back into his pocket. “The place looks really good, Bun. I love it.”
You look like you’re caught between wanting to argue about the photo and being touched by his praise. Lifting a finger to your hair, you absentmindedly twirl one of your locks.
“I’m glad you like it,” you say softly.
His heart lurches into his throat. Heat’s soaking through his face as he watches you, and when you turn your eyes back onto him, he’s falling to shambles.
“...Can I take another photo?” he asks.
“No.”
“Aw, come on, Bun! You’re just so cute!”
“I’m a mess today,” you argue, your eyes trained on the ground. “If you’re gonna take a picture of me, I want to look pretty for it.”
“Oh?” He grins, closing the distance between you. “You wanna look pretty for the picture or for me?”
Your lips split into a toothy grin. He grabs your hips, gives you a teasing little pull, and you laugh before him. Playfully, he nibbles your earlobe and asks, “Which one, Bun?”
“For you,” you giggle. “I always want to look pretty for you, Lohen.”
“You already do, Bun. Every day, without even trying.”
“Now you’re just flattering me.”
“I’m just being honest.”
He gives you a big kiss, feeling the rumble of your laughter against his mouth. He leans you back, peppers you with sloppy, wet kisses, and feels your fingers curl tightly into his shoulders.
“Hey Bun,” he purrs against your skin. “I’m filthy. Wanna take a shower with me?”
“You’re bold today, huh? I thought it was just last night that you were too nervous to see me naked.”
He smirks. “A lot can happen in a single night.”
Your teeth dig into your grinning lower lip. “I guess that’s right.”
“Wait,” you say, your skin still dewy from the shower, “shouldn’t I be doing this to you?”
“No,” Lohen replies, his head cushioned between your thighs. “This is my way of saying thank you.”
“Yeah, but—.” Your voice catches, ankles crossing over his back. “But you paid my bills.”
“Mhm,” Lohen says, his mouth closing around your wet clit. “You decorated. That part’s harder.”
“Oh,” you reply, heat rising to your face. Your core throbs when he lets his tongue out, runs it up the length of your quivering cunt. “I-I guess it does take a bit of effort…”
Lohen’s eyes flick up to yours. Fingers curl surely around your thighs, and with an encouraging push, hold them up higher. It gives him more access to you, and with a hot suck of his lips, sends throbs of pleasure even deeper into your core.
You lean your head back, threading your fingers through his hair. Dreamily, you moan, “That feels good.”
He laughs, tickling your insides. You wince somewhat, a sharp pulse of pleasure dictating your hips to rub into his mouth. His eyes fall shut, those long, curly lashes of his touching one another, and with all the eagerness in the world, Lohen goes at you like he’s starving. His tongue curls into your hole, licks you up and down, provides just enough friction against your twitching clit. He lets out a satisfied sound, and the way it tickles your thighs steals your breath away.
“Fuck,” you say, half-whining. “Lohen.”
His fingers squeeze into the fat of your thighs. Bringing his teeth out, he gives your nub a grazing investigation. His eyes look up at you, and you squeeze his fistful of hair harder. Seemingly satisfied with this, he moves down to your inner folds, giving you another little rub between his teeth. He switches back to his tongue after, and when he runs it all the way up the length of you, you gasp.
He pulls his mouth away and you’re instantly whining, “Lohen—.”
“One sec,” he says, reaching over your thigh with a curl of his bicep, bringing his middle finger to his lips. “Is it okay if I finger you?”
Your brain short circuits. All you know is the word yes.
Lohen chuckles. He coats that finger of his with his saliva, and when he descends back onto you, he curls it inside.
“Oh, God,” you sputter, your back arching. “Wait, wait, that’s too much.”
He eases the pressure of his tongue against you. The finger inside you doesn’t curl so deep.
“Okay,” you say, struggling for breath. “That’s a bit bet—oh.”
You’re interrupted by your own gasp. Forcing you from your reprieve, Lohen’s finger rubs against a tender spot within you. Almost immediately, his mouth turns light, his finger withdraws, and you’re coming down from that euphoric sensation once again.
“You’re…kind of mean,” you sputter.
Lohen laughs. You expect him to do the same thing again—soft and slow then hot and hard—but he instead remains gentle. His finger barely moves in and out of you, his lips just barely touching yours. You catch your breath, and as his teasing goes on longer and longer, you whine, “You’re really mean!”
He laughs again. Stupid Lohen and his stupid proclivity for mischief—is edging you really his way of saying thank you?!
“What?” Lohen asks, his hot breath setting every nerve ending you have ablaze. “I thought you said it was too much.”
“Now it’s not enough,” you complain, your brows arching. “Fuck, just go back to what you were doing before.”
“Not gonna lie,” he answers, “I kinda like how desperate you look right now.”
You whimper. Pressing your eyes shut, your legs tuck around him harder.
“Why don’t you beg?” he asks hotly. “Huh, Princess?”
“Fuck,” you moan. “Please, please, please.”
“Ah, yeah,” he replies, lips giving your clit a chaste kiss. “Thatta girl.”
“Please,” you continue to say, clawing his hair harder, digging your leglock into his skin. “Lohen, please. Please. Please—.”
Your voice raises an octave, devolving into sobs and whines as Lohen gives your attention-starved cunt what you’ve been begging for. His finger fucks you hard, curling up against your sensitive flesh with each thrust, and with his mouth closed around your clit, he sucks like he’s trying to draw something out of you. You’re crying, you’re pleading, and you’re rocking your hips into his face until he’s a dripping wet mess and his sheets are ruined. Lohen keeps up the intensity, you crash over the brink again, and with your chin presented to the heavens, you wail for him.
You’ve never felt like this before. No one’s ever put their mouth on you like this, or even cared about getting you off in the process. When Lohen makes you cum on his finger and devote your prayers to the Gods above, you feel like you might just rise out of your own body, your soul ascending to holy goodness.
“Stop, stop, stop,” you realize you’re saying. “Lohen, stop it, you’re making me—.” You yelp. “You’re making me cum so—hard!”
Fuck, you’ve never screamed like this before. It’s embarrassing.
Lohen’s lips loosen around you. In a soft murmur, he says, “Good job. Really good job, pretty girl.”
Your chest’s heaving up and down. Your breath shudders and shakes, and with tears filling your eyes, you gaze up at his ceiling. Lohen gently loosens your grip on his hair, and the mattress dips around you as he climbs your way. When those red-blue eyes meet yours, a hot trail of tears roll down your cheeks.
“Oh shit,” he says, chuckling. Cupping your face, he kisses your cheek with his wet lips, purring, “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Bun.”
Your nails dig into his shoulders. When he kisses your jaw again, you feel the poke of something hard against you.
You lick your lips and swallow. Now would be the perfect time—you’re at the peak of your affections for him, he’s clearly over the moon for you, and you’ve been wanting it, haven’t you?
But your lips won’t move. The words won’t come out.
“I made such a mess out of you,” Lohen says with a laugh. “Sorry, Bun. Can I kiss you, or…?”
“Yes,” you say. “Of course you can.”
When he catches your lips in a loving kiss, you have lingering doubts at the back of your mind. The bugling fabric of Lohen’s briefs brushes against you, but he doesn’t ask to fuck you. He’s probably waiting for you to tell him, so he knows it’s okay.
Because his love for you is pure. He treats you far better than any man you’ve ever met.
“Eh?” Lohen says. “You’re still crying.”
You blink rapidly. He brushes your tears away, smiling at you. As you stare at each other, an unsaid question hangs in the air.
Lohen breaks the silence first. “We should clean up again.”
You smile gratefully and nod.
The next morning, you’re making breakfast for Lohen while he’s getting ready for work. He comes up behind you, smelling like woodsy cologne, and wraps those sturdy arms around your waist. He kisses your ear, and you giggle.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he says.
“Good morning, handsome,” you quip back. “Dressed and ready, are you?”
“Wish I wasn’t,” he says. “Not when you wake me up looking like this.”
You’re cheeky about it, wiggling your hips. All you’re wearing is the cute apron you picked up during your decor run the day prior, over top of your underwear. You figured you may as well walk around the place like it’s home, especially when you know he won’t mind.
Lips closed, Lohen chuckles. Quietly, he says, “I really like seeing you first thing in the morning.”
Your face tickles with warmth. Smiling from ear-to-ear, you nod.
“Hey, Bun,” he says slowly. “Why don’t you just…stay with me?”
“Hm? I don’t go back to work until Thursday, so I’ll be here today.”
“No, I mean…past Thursday.” His grip on you tightens. “If you stay with me…I promise I’ll take care of you. You won’t even have to work at the club anymore. You could just…do what you want. And live here. With me.”
You flash him a smile. “You’re joking.”
He doesn’t smile back. Your eyes widen, and all of a sudden, your throat’s so tight, you feel like you’ve got a collar around it.
You turn back to the stove, looking at the bunny-shaped eggs frying away in their metal stencils. The yolks jiggle in the center, the whites bubbling around the edges.
“Okay,” Lohen says eventually, his mirthful tone returning. “I get it. You’re an independent woman, aren’t you?”
Your tense shoulders fall slack. Laughing, you reply, “Yeah…something like that.”
“That’s alright. I respect it, Bunny.” His breath is a whisper into your ear. “I won’t stop asking, though.”
He gives you a quick peck. You shiver.
“I gotta run,” he says, pulling away and leaving you cold in his absence. “If you need anything, just call me, okay?”
“Huh?” You look at the frying eggs, then at Lohen’s back as he exits the kitchen. “You’re not going to—? Eat.”
You scamper after him, but by the time you finish your sentence, the front door is closed and Lohen’s gone.
Left alone in his dim condo, your mind swims. Did you say something wrong? Should you have just said yes, told him you’d move in? Even if it was a joke, was he just trying to see if you cared? Does he think you don’t like him now? Did you fuck things up, just like you always have at every point in your terrible fucking life?
Your shoulders shake with a sob. Rubbing your eyes with your fists, you sniffle.
Then you smell something burning. Rushing back into the kitchen, you cut the heat to the stove, and you stare down at the charred bunnies in the frying pan. What a giant mess you have made, with your own two hands.
Lohen holds his hand to his mouth, his face smoldering under his palm. As he marches to his car, he thinks that he’s stupid, stupid, stupid.
“I should turn around,” he says quickly. “But if I turn around I might panic. And if I panic she’ll get scared, and I don’t want Bunny to be scared of me.”
Fuck, his throat is closing up. Fuck, he’s starting to feel like he can’t breathe. The garage walls warp, and when he stumbles into his car, he clutches his fist over his heaving chest.
“I just want her to love me,” he whines. “Why doesn’t she ever say she loves me?”
He doesn’t have time for this. He can’t break down like this—not when he’s supposed to be your protector, your knight. He can’t hurt your feelings and then leave so he can cry like a bitch in his car, because he’s supposed to be the branch holding you up, he’s supposed to lend you the nutrients, he’s supposed to stretch you to the sun, and make sure you never fucking fall away from him.
He jams his hand into his pocket, withdrawing a lump of pink bubblegum. Shoving it into his mouth, he chews and chews and chews, and eventually, the panic settles.
“People are scared, Lohen. Just because someone hurts you, doesn’t mean that they meant to. Sometimes fear can impact people’s judgment.”
“For once,” he growls, sniffling in the driver’s seat, “the old man’s right.”
You’re not just any woman—you’re one who’s been hurt before. Even if Lohen’s as gentle as he is, you’ve been wired to stay on alert. You don’t hate him, you’re just not used to this kind of princess treatment. Before he came along to save you, you were struggling for so, so long on your own.
You’re just guarded. It’s only natural that it would take you time to fully trust him. It’s only natural that you didn’t run after him.
Ping!
He immediately snatches his phone to his face, but instead of seeing your name on his screen, he sees Theodore’s.
[Theo] Just got dispatched.
[Theo] They found him.
His breath stills. Slowly, surely, Lohen smiles.
a/n: thank you so much for reading! chapter 5, Lepus Miles, Requiem, is going to be a very loaded chapter that is also set to be the longest in this series so far (6k+ words). because of this, i really want to take my time in reviewing/editing. this time, I plan to post Chapter 5 on 7/22 to allow myself time to polish it while also working on other oneshots/drabbles and the like! im so happy that there are people who look forward to chapters of this series, and i am ever so grateful for your love and support! <3 if you would like to be tagged whenever i post lohen x reader, please check my rules here! thank you! masterlist | fic masterlist
