My Mom - #42
My Mother grading homework while sick:
Mom: "[Sarah] did not turn in any homework! That girl is in trouble! Look into my eyes and see if I care."
Me: "You sound like you're enjoying this."
Mom: "It's the drugs."

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My Mom - #42
My Mother grading homework while sick:
Mom: "[Sarah] did not turn in any homework! That girl is in trouble! Look into my eyes and see if I care."
Me: "You sound like you're enjoying this."
Mom: "It's the drugs."
my history class beat the AP history class down the hall in a trivia game and my teacher just ran out of the room to gloat and I just
EDIT: HE SAID THEIR TEARS WERE DELICIOUS OH MY FUCKING GOD
As a teacher, you really do come across some hilarious answers 😂 “I used mental math by thinking in my brain and thought really hard.”
"Can I listen to some smooth jazz on my Walkman?"
- Actual words a seventh grader said to me today in 2017
Me Singing: "Born is the King of Is-ra-el!"
1st Grader asking: Is Israel bigger than Hippopotamus?
Me: Israel is a country...
Different 1st Grader: He means the word, Miss. B!
Me: Oh, ok! Yes, the word Hippopotamus is bigger than the word Israel! How do you know the word Hippopotamus anyway!?
1st Grader: I think it's one of our Spelling Words....
Me: Hmmm....I doubt that....
Plays
Today my 6th graders performed skits they wrote in English, and they were the cutest things. Some of them were unrehearsed train wrecks, but others were so impressive. My personal favorite was a version of Momotaro, a story about a boy and his animal friends who defeat a band of demons. Momotaro was played by one of the most adorable and enthusiastic kids in the grade, and before driving all his friends to the demon island (which was already a hilarious concept) he stopped to check that they had all buckled their seat belts.
Random Guy - #43
I overheard two guys in my college chemistry class before a test:
Guy A: "And gases expand uniformly."
Guy B: "Of course. Think of a fart." *Does expanding motion with his hands*