#ghosti rants

[ghostibirb]

Guh. I wish I were better at writing.

I have so many big ideas and stories and worlds I want to talk about, but I've never been able to fully focus and organize them into clear thoughts and words.

Potentially it comes from never being encouraged to talk or share my opinion and to just be told to shut up nothing I say is important and I'm wrong.

Yes, these things still effect me all these years later well above 30 😭 Still growing and trying to change...

[monstersandmaw]

You know when you’ve got the kernels of new characters and snippets of their plots whirling and rattling around your head, but you can’t grasp any of them long enough to figure out who they are or what their stories are?

Yeah.

That.

[monstersandmaw]

Girl help. I’m looking at countryside houses I can’t afford again.

[monstersandmaw]

I have such a specific kind of game I want to play that I just cannot find anywhere on Steam (or PS4/Switch). There are one or two elements of it in various existing games, but not all (or many) in one. 

I want a cottagecore farming & witchy sim with:

‘realistic’ looking, 1st and/or 3rd person POV like Skyrim, Horizon (ZD &FW), Witcher III, Dragon Age Inquisition etc (not cartoon/pixel style like Animal Crossing or Stardew). This is the most important thing that I want and can’t find - there are loads of great looking cutesy things out there (My Witchy Life, Little Witch in the Woods, Wytchwood, Wylde Flowers etc.) but that’s not what I’m looking for (their style is sweet but it sort of hurts my eyes after a while, even Stardew).

open world

make your own character from scratch (not play as a prescribed character) with lots of physical and gender options

lots of great weather effects and changing seasons (like some of the weather mods for Skyrim)

build your own house (modular like Skyrim Hearthfire DLC or Sims)

ability to craft items or buy items to decorate your home according to various styles/tastes/aesthetics

variety of plants/herbs to grow in a garden plus more to forage in the surrounding countryside

things to make/craft/bake (potions, salves, medicines, food, treats, meals)

beekeeping?

animal keeping/breeding?

lots of different witchy familiar options to bond with (maybe depending on the ‘biome’ where you first set up the house/start the game - forest: deer, owl, mouse, fox; tundra: wolf, eagle, raven; coastal: seal, dolphin, puffin; plains: horse, wolf, big cat etc. etc.)

cute village nearby to interact with - shops, upgrade tools, buy rare seeds, trade etc.

option to romance any villager but no obligation to do so (like Stardew)

no combat/angst/stress/quests with ‘bad’ endings

a few seasonal events - fairs, fetes, competitions, markets etc.

witchy/monstery friends (like Krobus and Dwarf in Stardew, but... more? Spirits in the woods/mines/sea/grasses etc. Or if the world is a fantasy one and not all-human, then lots of non-human villagers to be friends with)

That’s... a lot, I realise, but if someone made this game (or like a complete overhaul mod for Skyrim that was literally just that), I would buy it immediately and never leave (and stream it on Twitch every day for the rest of my life!).

[monstersandmaw]

It’s funny, on the rare occasion I stumble across a forgotten and un-published WIP story in my writing folder, I can tell exactly how I was feeling at the time of writing it. Today I found a story where I was clearly happy. The words flowed, the descriptions were concise but creative, and it just feels... whole. I look at the stuff I’ve been writing this year, and while it all works and is... fine??... it’s not... that. I don’t remember why I felt better then, or where it all went downhill, but I know I’m not writing like that anymore and I don’t know how to get back to it.

Maybe I need a break again, or maybe I just peaked.

[monstersandmaw]

please the dremora story please please please i am living for that cinnamon roll boy

I'll post it as soon as it's edited, I promise. It's, like, 6.6k words, and it's 8.30pm and I'm a grandma gremlin who's thinking about going to bed soon before I faceplant onto my keyboard, but... I'll do what I can for you, dear anon.

*drinks a few stamina potions and cracks knuckles*

*dons editing glasses*

*squints*

[monstersandmaw]

Everyone is banning travel to and from the UK as the new strain gains momentum, which means that France has closed its borders by ferry so no lorries and deliveries are getting through for at least 48hrs, so there are going to be panic buying sprees and food shortages because people have no chill. I thought things were looking up here with the vaccine and now I’m really deeply anxious for the first time in a while. Plus not being able to see anyone in my family for Christmas is a punch in the gut too. It just feels so hopeless. We were going to be ok and now it’s worse than it ever has been.

[monstersandmaw]

Witcher S2 opinion update, since someone asked if I’d be watching it - just finished episode two. Eh…? It’s… so far pretty meh???? If I suddenly couldn’t watch the rest, I wouldn’t be heartbroken.

I am heartbroken however about the treatment of my all time favourite Witcher, Eskel, though. Damn. I’m salty about my beloved being treated like that by the show.

I feel so let down by fantasy shows and films lately. Gimme something good to watch for fuck’s sake!