Aug 13, 2023
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As Told By The Gotham Citizens
Things said by the batfamily during a commercial flight.
“What do you mean you don’t have enough first class seats ma’am?”
“You’re flying Economy, brat, you’re the one with the shortest legs”
“No way, Todd, last time I checked the legally dead can’t fly”
“Extra cost for overweight luggage? Since when?”
“Bet you 20 bucks Jason gets stopped by security”
“No sir, I swear I don’t have any sharps or firearms within my person”
“No sir, that’s not meth it’s purple food colouring”
“I swear I am not related to any of them”
“4 dollars for a bottle of water? Fuck no, drink from the water faucet”
“Where’s Dick? Our zone just got called,”
“Where do you think? Getting skin care airport size products at Duty Free”
“Has anybody seen Duke?”
“He’s getting a massage”
“Listen here everyone, I am boarding that plane with or without you,”
“I call dibs on sitting next to Alfred,”
“Absolutely no. I am sitting next to Alfred, or else you’re all grounded”
“Why is Tim not waking up? We’re boarding soon”
“He knocked himself out with melatodine gummies”
“Master Jason, please don’t draw on your brother’s face while he’s unconscious”
“It’s our chance, let’s ditch Drake for real”
“Shit i can’t find my passport”
“I can lend you one of mine. I’ve got Ireland, UK, Spain, Singapore, Russian, and North Korea’s”
“How in the hell you got a North Korean passport?”
“Are you wearing red hair in your Irish passport?”
“Can you believe it? They have 100 ml Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair!”
“This salad is disgusting, Father, i can’t eat this”
“Then don’t eat”
“I’ll stab you Drake i swear”
“How did you slipped a knife through security?”
“Only a knife? What an Amateur”
*Full blown-out fistfight in the middle of the movie theatre*
“We’re watching Oppenheimer, brat,”
“Fuck you Todd, Barbie has to be first, back me up Grayson”
“Language, Damian”
“Who says that?”
“Common knowledge, Timmy,”
“You don’t have to watch both movies on the same day, children,”
“Oh my god, who invited him?”
“He has the theatre’s VIP card”
“I thought Jason knew all the PINs for Bruce’s credit cards”
“Are those the Wayne children?”
“The real question is, Is Bruce Wayne actually wearing pink or am I imagining things?”
“Setph, Cass, come on, we’re ditching this losers”
“No, wait for me. Please. Please”
“Thomas, you disgusting traitor,”
Playing the Guess Who Game - Batfam Edition (+ Alfred)
Tim: Is your character mentally stable?
Damian: No.
Tim: *Lowers Duke’s and Alfred’s characters down leaving the rest up*
New to Gotham? A useful friendly guide for the newbies at Gotham.
There's never a boring day in Gotham City.
The best view of the city is from the Wayne Enterprises rooftop. Entrance is for free during the weekend.
Came to Gotham as a tourist? First things first: why?
Red-lights and traffic rules are more of a suggestion.
If you're not from Gotham, and unless you have very good reflexes, avoid driving in the city and a very likely trip to the ER.
On the bright side, chances of bumping into the Waynes at the ER are high.
Sign our Changeorg petition for the making of 'Keeping up with the Waynes'. Don't question it, just sign it.
In Gotham, the 'It' movie (2017) is rated as A+ and classified as an educational documentary.
Although sort of infamous, and for some reason considered a Gotham attraction, 'Crime Alley' is literally an Alley of Crime. It should go without saying that visiting is NOT advised.
Metropolis might be safer and sunnier, but we got style.
Always look both ways before crossing a street even if its a One-Way street.
If still in school, don't make fun of the smart kids in your class, they are the most likely to answer a Riddler's Riddle and save you all.
Don't be surprised if your therapist turns out to be one of the Gotham's most wanted.
Improved universal antidote formula for laughing-gas and poison-ivy's pheromones (previous to august of this year) can be acquired for free at any Gotham Hospital.
Best coffee shop is the family-owned business on the corner of the ninth avenue at Old Gotham District. Rated as top 1 by Red-Robin and also positively reviewed by Wayne member Tim Drake.
Fan of art and animal-lover? There are a couple of handmade paintings by Damian Wayne that could be acquired at Gotham's Gallery. All earnings go to Gotham's animal rescue centers.
Most of the famous Gotham criminals are all professionals despite their funny names, do not underestimate them.
Think you're tough? Think again.
Have fun and enjoy your time in Gotham. It's kinda nice once you get used to it.
Bruce Wayne's list of Rules for Halloween Season
KINDA LATE BUT HERE IT IS!
NO JOKER COSTUMES allowed for Halloween. This shouldn't even be a rule.
No green hair either.
Keep On Brand. No Superfamily costumes allowed.
No Green Arrow costumes.
Keep the candy away from Dick at all times.
Jason must be supervised at all times during trick or treat-ing.
Damian must go trick or treating.
No Halloween parties in the batcave.
Do not ask for pictures with citizens dressed as your respective vigilante personas.
Do not bring said citizens to the batmobile or batcave either.
Giving out vodka shots to the adults during trick and treat is not permitted.
As stated above it is Halloween season. No Christmas songs or decoration allowed until after December first.
Do not start a Batfamily costume competition.
Do not sign up to Batfamily costume competitions either.
Do not let Jason fight fake Red Hoods for whose costume is better.
Same rule applies to Tim Drake.
Jason is not allowed to interact with trick or treat kids.
Pumpkin crafting decorations must be kept at PG-13 rating.
No pumpkin on the carpets.
Keep the candy away from Stephanie at all times.
Disco Nightwing costume is forbidden.
No Halloween movies in the batcomputer.
Pumpkin spice lattes limited to two per week.