Essential Avengers: Avengers #268: THE KANG DYNASTY!
June, 1986
ARE THOSE DIRE WRAITHS??
I thought Rom banished all of them to - ah. Right.
Also, happy 25th anniversary, the Avengers!
You’re fighting Kang again and two of your founders have moved across the country. But you still have Wasp and Captain America!
Anyway.
Last time on Avengers: The Avengers have to relocate their Quinjets to a floating artificial island off New York called Hydrobase because Vision pissed off the government by trying to take over the government. While Wasp, Hercules, and Black Knight were working on a tunnel (for a submarine bay for their new Hydrobase arrangement) they got kidnapped to Limbo by a Kang With a Cape.
Who has a Plan to kill off all Kangs so he’ll be the only Kang (and also kill off the Avengers) so he can rule ALL OF TIME. So he’s going to throw the Avengers at the Penultimate Kang.
The issue starts with the other half of the team learning that Wasp, Black Knight, and Hercules have gone missing.
Should we rule out a really intense game of hide and go seek?
Anyway. Cap does do more than point a flashlight at the audience. He can’t find a sign of a break-in or a struggle.
The only clue they find is that the drill tank suffered a power overload so Cap(tain America) asks Namor to fly it to the electronics lab so they can analyze it with the systems analyzer, a piece of equipment that analyzes systems.
Namor requests that Captain Marvel help out by lighting the way in the dark tunnel.
Hm.... if there hasn’t been a comic where Monica Rambeau helps Santa then why not?
Also funny, Monica Marvel boggles in confusion how Namor’s teeny feet wings carry him even when he’s carrying a ton of weight.
Nobody has told her those feet wings are purely cosmetic or perhaps an adornment to attract a mate. Namor flies in the way that a lot of people with flying power flies. Just because it says “flight” on his trading card.
Like, some characters get an explanation. Iron Man and Wonder Man fly through technological means. Vision supposedly flies by lowering his density enough that he floats on the breeze but its awfully guided for something that should be as at the mercy of the winds as a balloon. Banshee flies by SCREAM. Thor throws his hammer and doesn’t let go. But just a bunch more characters fly because they have the power to fly.
But I digress.
When they analyze the drill tank energy-sensor core, they find another clue!
Captain America: “These readings indicate that the sensor-core’s memory was scrambled by some sort of chronal displacement wave!”
Captain Marvel: “‘Chronal displacement wave’?”
Captain America: “That’s the jargon Iron Man came up with to explain it, C.M. The pulp writers of my boyhood would probably have called it a ‘time-teleport-ray’!”
Hah.
I feel like that’s a nod at the shift in how comic book nonsense is written about in earlier comics vs the time this comic was printed.
Its as ridiculous as it ever was, just dressed up to sound more plausible.
Anyway, given that it’s time-teleport nonsense, Captain America speculates that none other than KANG is behind this!
Namor: “Krang?! Impossible! That old Atlantean traitor hasn’t the technology to do this!”
Captain Marvel: “Not Krang... Kang! Kang the Conqueror -- I know about him from scanning the Avengers data-files. He’s a time-traveling warlord from hundreds of years in the future.”
Captain America: “I can tell you from first-hand experience that he’s one of our most dangerous enemies!”
Hah, I love that Namor mishears Kang as Krang. You’d think that’d happen more often. Not necessarily Kang Krang but there’s so many characters in Marvel and not nobody can know them all.
I also love that Captain Marvel has continued her studies. Usually whenever there’s a new roster, there’s one new person that thoroughly studies all the old issues case files so they’re up to date despite not being around.
When Beast was here, it was Beast. And now its Monica.
Meanwhile, I bet Namor hasn’t done any of his homework. Tsk tsk for shame.
Meanwhile, back in Limbo.
Black Knight complains that Hercules smooshed the Kang robot. Since Black Knight is a scientist in a comic book, he could probably have repurposed circuits from it to make something to help them navigate the Limbo fog.
Hercules: “My apologies, Dane Whiteman. The robot’s taunts left me sorely vexed -- as have these apparitions.”
These apparitions being the Hulk, Giant-Man, and Iron Man that have showed up.
Now, I made a goof.
I assumed that the Hulk, Giant-Man, and Iron Man that they found were a Space Phantom. Because issue 2 was a very long time ago. But as Black Knight realizes more quickly than I did, because he’s a scientist:
Black Knight: “Limbo apparently touches all times, but is part of none. Nothing about Limbo fits the concepts of time as we know them... there is no ‘now’ in this place. Here, time is space... and vice versa. You see -- !”
Hercules: “Mercy, sir knight! I beg you, explain no more... else I shall understand even less than I do already!”
HAH!
But point being, the Hulk, Giant-Man, and Iron Man in this issue ARE the same ones from issue 2, napping during their brief imprisonment in Limbo.
God only knows what would have happened if the Avengers tried to wake them up. Maybe it isn’t possible.
But anyway. When Iron Man fades away as the other two did before him, it’s the moment Wasp was waiting for.
THE ORIGINAL SPACE PHANTOM!
He is very alarmed that people are waiting for him on his return to Limbo and VERY alarmed that one of them is a Wasp who is even more willing and able to kick his ass than the one he just encountered (in issue #2).
Possibly the reason he’s so concerned is that he’s near to powerless in Limbo. His best trick is to CHANGE PLACES with someone, dunking them into Limbo. Which for obvious reasons probably doesn’t work in Limbo. I doubt he can do anything to stop three superheroes from kicking the crap out of him.
But he doesn’t get a chance to find out.
When Wasp demands information from Mr. Original Space Phantom, Kang vaporizes him like a jackass.
What a dick.
When Wasp calls foul, Kang claims he only promised to return them home if they could defeat him but didn’t promise them they could have a guide through Limbo.
When Hercules complains about Kang hiding behind robots instead of just facing them, Kang says that Actually he’s a hologram this time.
Wait, but then how did he shoot lasers at Original Space Phantom?
And wait again. Is this the precursor to the Giant Kang Hologram from the Busiek-era story arc that shared a name with this issue, Kang Dynasty? The Giant Kang Hologram that could shoot energy blasts?
Okay, fair enough, Cape Kang.
Anyways, with mocking laughter he switches off the Holo-Kang and returns his attention to his Limbo fortress.
Ravonna’s expression and response is pretty “yes, dear” of her. Like she wishes they could talk about anything else for once.
He reiterates his plan to use the Avengers to weaken Old Kang so he can kill him and become the Final Kang and be known for more than just his sweet cape.
Cape Kang: “He’s actually my physical elder, you know... not that his years of experience have kept me from manipulating him. I allowed him to think himself my equal in cunning, enlisting him to help exterminate the many alternate-reality Kangs who had been brought into existence through my... or rather, through our travels through time. He has no idea how successful we’ve been, all the divergent lives of Kang have been eliminated, save for mine and his! And he, too, shall soon fall!”
Kang, turning to the audience: ‘Everyone got that?’
Cape Kang then takes Ravonna on a tour through his robotics factory which is churning out Kang Robots which he’ll use to take over all the timelines that the other Kangs ruled.
Then he shows Ravonna the dead Kang he killed last issue.
She’s not very pleased to see a dead body but he assures her that its all part of his Brilliant Plan.
He’s going to use the dead Kang to trick Old Kang into thinking the Avengers killed Dead Kang.
Buuuuuut. I mean. First he wants to play with the Avengers a bit more. Get his entertainment value out of them. And get them “really fighting mad!”
Meanwhile, out in Limbo, Wasp, Hercules, and Black Panther wander aimlessly around the Limbo fog trying to find anything.
Which they can’t. The fog is just too thick. Flying ahead even a little makes Wasp vanish from sight from the other two. But she does manage to spot...
DIRE WRAITHS?!
The Dire Wraiths charge the Avengers, intent on killing them.
And there’s a ton of them.
Just a lot.
So many that despite Hercules’ boasts that it doesn’t matter how many there are, Wasp fears they might get overrun.
Meanwhile again, back on Earth.
Even more protesting Namor.
And now protestors protesting the protest.
Namor is very contentious.
Even Jarvis muses that he was surprised when Captain America nominated Namor for Avengership.
Jarvis: Ah, well... Mine is not to question, but to serve.
To serve and to deliver some sardonic commentary.
He brings in a cart with coffee and sandwiches because the Avengers have been working nearly all day and haven’t stopped to eat.
Captain America first attempts to claim that there’s NO TIME to eat! But then smells the fresh coffee. And snacks down on the sandwiches, admitting he didn’t realize how hungry he was.
Captain America: “Jarvis, you’re a lifesaver. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. What would the Avengers do without you?”
Jarvis: “Probably miss more meals, sir.”
Hah.
That’s fair.
Jarvis becomes curious about what the Avengers are working on and Captain America explains its the Time Platform that the Leader used to scatter the Avengers through time in Hulk #283 through 284. A story I didn’t read because it was in Hulk and I already have so much to do.
It sounds pretty entertaining. Hawkeye wound up in Robin Hood times, thinking he was Robin Hood.
Anyway, Captain Marvel pops out of the machine, doing Jarvis a startle. She was checking out all the circuitry as electricity. As one does when one is Monica Rambeau.
But things are less good over where Namor is working, trying to get a fix on when the other half of the Avengers wound up.
Namor: “Blast! Every time I come close to getting a coordinate fix on the chronal wave, the readings suddenly shift!”
Captain America: “Take it easy, Namor!”
Namor: “Without an exact fix, we haven’t a chance of locating the others.”
Captain America: “I know it’s frustrating but we won’t help them by losing our heads.”
Namor: “Yes... yes, you are right, Cap.”
Monica muses to herself how easily Namor’s legendary temper was calmed by just a few words from Cap. And Jarvis thinks about whether the protestors would change their tune if they could see how concerned Namor is for his fellow Avengers.
Anyway, back to the other half of the Avengers fighting some Dire Wraiths.
Uh...
Well, they’re handling them.
The Dire Wraiths are attacking with such little concern for their own lives that it forces the Avengers to use lethal force.
Except Hercules who was perfectly okay with using lethal force as soon as he saw them.
But Black Knight observes that they’re practically jumping on his sword.
And as soon as the Avengers are standing on a pile of Dead Wraiths with only one survivor demanding the Avengers kill her too, they learn why.
Kang sent the Dire Wraiths at the Avengers. With the ultimatum that they kill the Avengers or be slowly tortured to death by him.
I guess as soon as the Dire Wraiths realized that the Avengers wouldn’t go down easy, they started just throwing themselves on the sword.
Hercules grabs the last Dire Wraith and demands to know where Kang is.
Dire Wraith: “I-if I tell you, will you kill me?”
Hercules: “If you do not, I shall see to it that you survive in Limbo for all eternity!”
Apparently the Last Dire Wraith gave good directions because soon (or maybe not so soon. Limbo.) the Avengers find themselves at Kang’s Limbo Castle.
Despite still being hung up on that pile of Dire Wraiths they killed, Wasp takes point so Hercules won’t just run through the wall like subtlety is dead.
Wasp shrinks down insect size, assuming that at her smallest size, she’ll be too small to trigger any proximity alarms.
I don’t know if I buy that reasoning.
It’s not like the Avengers are sneaking up on Kang. He kidnapped them to Limbo. He told them to come at him.
But its not like the Avengers can not storm his fortress. That’d be silly.
So Wasp rips out the alarm wires so Black Knight can cut open the side door.
Then they storm in with no opposition and find Kang dead!
The Avengers don’t get much time to figure out what this means before Another Kang (Old Kang) shows up, accuses them of killing one of his time-brothers, and immediately launches an attack.
Old Kang: “You may have slain one of my time-brothers, Avengers -- but you’ll not live to slay another!”
Old Kang throws a thing that grows into a Growing Man.
Since Hercules doesn’t read the back issues, he doesn’t know that hitting the Growing Man just makes him bigger.
Although, he figures it out pretty quickly.
Because the Growing Man explains his powers.
Doesn’t just happen in anime!
Meanwhile, back at Avengers Mansion, the Avengers have gotten some decent time/space coordinates and have the Leader’s time platform ready to go.
With all three Avengers (Captains America and Marvel, Namor) standing on it, they just need Jarvis to activate it.
Jarvis: “I must admit to some trepidation, though. Are you certain this is safe?”
Captain America: “No, but it’s a chance we have to take!”
Jarvis: “sigh Yes, sir.”
Ha.
But maybe they should have listened to Jarvis.
The first sign that something has gone wrong is that the time platform vanishes along with the Avengers.
The second is that it then blows the fuck up.
Doesn’t seriously hurt any of them because they’re all superheroes and because they jumped away from the explosion.
After the explosion of their only way home, Captain Marvel offers to scout around and nyooms off.
After about a minute she nyooms back.
Relatively not long. From the perspective of Namor and Captain America.
From Monica’s perspective, though, it took hours to find her way back to the other two.
LIMBO!
It’s a wacky place.
The time weirdery clues Cap(tain America) in that they’re in Limbo. He hasn’t personally been but unlike Hercules, Cap(tain America) reads the back issues. A report from Thor, actually.
Namor realizes that in such a place, they might never find the other Avengers.
Hold that thought, Namor.
Back at Kang’s Limbo Fortress, Hercules has found a counter to a guy who grows bigger and stronger when you hit him.
HIT HIM HARDER.
HIT HIM A LOT.
PUNCH HIM OUT OF BOUNDS!
One way to win a fight. Possibly one of the best ways to win a fight.
Anyway.
Obviously the Growing Man lands right where Namor and Captains Marvel and America are.
And Namor immediately deduces that Hercules must have kicked this Growing Man’s ass and that they can just search in the direction he came from to find the missing Avengers.
I mean.
It’s not a giant leap of logic. How many other people are going to be fighting a Growing Man in Limbo?
Back over at the Kang Castle, Old Kang takes the loss of his Growing Man in stride, proclaiming that his suit has enough weaponry to destroy an army.
And then Captain Marvel bursts from his armor, having fried his enough weaponry.
Sure, he had a force field. But Captain Marvel can switch between forms of energy fast enough to get through one of those. Or, hey, light. She can just be light. You can see Kang through his force field, thus it is permeable to light.
She’s really powerful.
(I like that the time elapsed between Namor going ‘they’re probably that-a-way’ and Monica saving the day is one panel. Because nyoom.)
Not being able to turn into light, Captain America and Namor arrive after Monica.
And obviously, Captain America can’t travel as fast as Namor can with his little ornamental feet wings.
So obviously Namor should carry Cap so they can both cross the distance as fast as possible.
And it just stands to reason that Cap should straddle Namor’s back like this.
It’s just the most logical way to do this.
Anyyyyway.
Wasp interrogates the disarmed Old Kang, demanding to know where Dead Kang came from and why Kang brought them to Limbo.
Old Kang: “What are you talking about? I never -- ! I received a message that you were attacking -- ! No... No! We’ve all been played for fools!”
An epiphany that comes too late as Cape Kang sets the whole room on fire?
I, uh, I’m not sure what he does exactly.
The important thing is that it knocks everyone out but doesn’t horribly burn them.
Do you know what I like?
That method of holding people captive that’s just like a beam of light.
Really has this whole minimalist supervillain feel. No cage or tube clutter. Just a paralysis beam projector in the ceiling.
Plus, it just has this classic feel to it.
Anyway, Cape Kang swaggers in with Lady Ravonna to the confusion of the Avengers.
Because oh look, a third Kang!
(Good thing they didn’t see the opening bit if that bothers them)
But Cap(tain America) is also baffled by the presence of a living Ravonna. Because the Avengers kinda saw her die. And Kang once kidnapped them and forced them to do one of those Grandmaster games to get the power to bring her back to life but then like an idiot he decided to kill the Avengers instead.
The reason why Kang doesn’t have nice things is because he doesn’t deserve them.
Either way, Cape Kang Explains It Some.
Cape Kang: “My time-brother is just a copy of myself, Wasp -- diverged from me in one of my many travels through time. You fared much better against him than I thought you would. But killing him is my privilege! Don’t worry, though, I will gladly allow you to witness his demise... just before I destroy you all!”
I love that he’s surprised that the Avengers kicked Old Kang’s ass like kicking Kang ass isn’t something they’ve done repeatedly by this point.
Hell, it wasn’t even hard this time. Hercules punched his Growing Man to next week, maybe literally. And Monica turned his sufficiently advanced technology to garbage.
For a man that can travel through time, Kang doesn’t have a good grasp on his own history.
Anyway, the story continues to another issue. “The Once and Future Kang!” which I just have to say. Excellent title.
But first, more West Coast Avengers. Look for it next week.
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