#habit changing

[anothergoodtime]

Over 40lbs down in 6 months, the first time I’ve felt my ribcage in years. Battling this PCOS one workout at a time. 💪🏻

[theearthforce]

If you want your loved one to let go of a bad habit, let go of your beliefs of them having this behavior, and focus on their good qualities instead of this bad habit. This would allow yourself to attract a reality with them no longer having this bad habit.

[writeformeuniverse]

Small wins, big impact.

About three days ago, I decided to uninstall the Facebook app on my phone since I believe that I spend most of my time there. I thought, maybe, just maybe... I'll be able to control my social media consumption. Why Facebook? Because there's a lot going on there. I only follow 35 people on Twitter, and I seldom use Instagram.

Okay, so the plan is, I am uninstalling the Facebook app on my phone and I can only browse Facebook using my work laptop or PC. This means I can only use it during work hours. That sounds bad, but honestly, that's the only time I use my work laptop since I won't try to use my work laptop outside my shift and I won't usually use my PC during work days because I would need to move my peripherals which is a hassle. Long story short, I'm lazy and I won't use neither the work laptop or PC if I don't need to.

To be honest, I didn't think that it will go well, but it's been three days. I find myself using my phone and looking for the Facebook app, only to remember that I have uninstalled it so I would put the phone down.

I also noticed that this decision to remove the app on my phone actually worked to get me to do something else. I have worked out, spent more time with my family and read books. I plan to continue this for a month, and hopefully I'm able to share that experience here.

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Also, I only have 7-ish days until my last day at work. Things has not sunk in yet for me, but I know this will hit me around a few days after. I have not said all my thank you's yet to my colleagues, but I really want to do it two days before my last day or maybe tomorrow since we'll be changing our schedules next week.

[livelearnloverun]

So you say you "CAN'T" do it....

So you say you “CAN’T” do it….

…..and I say “Bullshit!” See…that is the beauty…you actually CAN!  You just have to do it…you just have to take that first step.  And guess what…that first step isn’t what you think it is…BUT it is THE most important so listen closely… The first step is to tell yourself that you can do whatever you want!  And then BELIEVE IT! Whatever the goal is…you can do it!  But sitting there telling yourself…

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[twotrillionfiveninetwobillionx]

30 Day Challenge

Finally figured out what I want to do for my challenge.

I'm going to MAKE FRIENDS!

The aim is for me to become more sociable within the next 30 days.

By the end of this challenge, I'll have 30 new friends <3

[thewritehag]

Pre-TL;DR, if anyone has any suggestions for healthy food or advice, I'm so open.

Only since I've become more active on tumblr, have I found that I don't have to feel shame for my appearance, as there are so many different body-types that the phrase "body-type" has become meaningless. That the fashion industry in collusion with the rest of society is who/what is warped, not me. I am grateful to have learned that. However, I'm still dissatisfied with how I look.

I feel shame in myself when I feel my neck rolls, when I see them in a mirror via my periphery or in a picture, though I know part of that is because my neck is short. I hate that my breasts aren't in proportion to the rest of my body. Call me vain. I don't even remember seeing my collar-bone. There are more relevant health reasons, sure. Along with the general health concerns, my knees are wonky and my left hip is longer than my right and, therefore, really could do without the added pressure. 

With all of that, I'm happy in my decision to lose weight, not for societal expectations, or even health ones. I'm doing it because I want to make myself happy and comfortable, which I haven't been for a long, long time. I know weight loss won't cure all my ills, that would be ridiculous to ever even think. It might only take care of the one thing and all its subheadings. That's okay, I think. For now, anyway, until I can afford some actual therapy.

I've heard and seen the good affects on those who've done public health journaling (that's what I'm calling it and why I've written all that stuff up there) as a way to keep themselves motivated. And, I'm bringing this to tumblr, chiefly, because I don't want to take this to Facebook. I don't need or want family and friends--many of whom could care less for me as a thinking and feeling individual--taking notice of me for what is, ultimately, a superficial goal. I would rather they ignore it as most of them did when I announced I had graduated with a Master's degree.

Here, if I get comments and suggestions, I feel more confident in the sincerity of the sender. If I get no comments, just "favorites," or no response whatsoever, I still feel confident in speaking out here, even if it is only to myself.  

So, there's your lengthy "fair warning." I'm going to be doing some health-journaling to keep myself motivated (I hope it works) and to keep my writing journals clear of lists of food items. They're incomprehensible enough.

In that vein, I ate:

Peppers with hummus

Some cashews

Seasoned nori

Reese's peanut butter cups. I didn't count how many. I'm weak!

Baked eggplant with red sauce and cheese

Lotsa diet Coke

[aperturehealthinitiative-blog]

Great video on the 4 types of people and the way they react to external and internal rules. 

"The goal is self-knowledge." 

[30daystochangeahabit]

30 Day Challenge: Paleo-ish diet.

Okay, so now that I've warmed up with the yoga challenge, I'm ready for a hard one! Any change to my diet is surprisingly difficult for me. Obviously it's difficult for a lot of people, or else there wouldn't be such a huge diet and fitness industry (not to mention so many fitspo blogs), but it surprises me how I am 30 years old, and still can't quite get a handle on my own food cravings and intake! Especially considering how many times I've read that a diet change could make a real impact on my health, and how I've gained so much weight I live in a perpetual state of self loathing. 

I came across the Paleo diet, otherwise known as the "Cave Man Diet", or the Primal diet, when I was googling about diet plans for hypoglycemia. I've had really awful hypoglycemia my whole life. It manifests itself as blood sugar crashes every two to three hours in which I feel dizzy, tired, cranky, confused, disoriented, and sometimes, faint. It has effected my whole life:

It obviously effects my schedule... I have to have a work or a school schedule that allows me to have snack breaks to boost my blood sugar back up. 

It effects my weight and diet... being forced to eat constantly does nothing good for the waist line... Additionally, when in the midst of a blood sugar drop you need something, and you need it NOW, which results in a lot of unplanned meals on the go, i.e. the dreaded fast-food, or the dreaded vending machine... 

It effects my judgement and behavior. I can't even begin to recall how many times I've snapped at those close to me, only to realize later that I just needed a snack. It worries me to think how many dramatic or upsetting situations have happened in my life simply because my judgement was not sound. 

And lastly, it's getting downright dangerous! This past year I've gotten lost driving in my own home town for no reason other than my blood sugar was so low I couldn't even think straight!

I've seen doctors and their answers are not helpful. After dozens of blood tests at the Mayo Clinic I think the best answer I got was: "Carry snacks in your purse!"

I want a cure, not a cover up! I want to be able to eat like my friends and not feel like I'm about to pass out on a daily basis. Having a full meal, and then feeling like you can't even walk or talk correctly three hours later is NOT NORMAL. Why Mayo (or countless other doctors) couldn't help me I'll never understand, but I'd read enough literature about the condition to know that many people simply manage it with diet alone. 

The common prescription for a hypoglycemic diet is to eat low carb, low sugar, high protein. The thought process is that the body of a hypoglycemic is very sensitive to glucose (i.e. blood sugar), creating a situation in which insulin (the chemical that lowers glucose) is pumped into the blood way too liberally whenever it senses sugar, thus driving blood sugar down way lower than it needs to be. Hypoglycemics (and many doctors actually) tend to use the logic that if blood sugar is low, one needs more sugar, and load up on a glucose heavy snack when feeling bad. The problem is that a high dose of glucose just triggers that over active insulin, and perpetuates a cycle of spiking and crashing blood sugar levels. 

I've known all of this for a long time, yet, when I read books about hypoglycemic diet plans I was instantly turned off and intimidated. These texts literally wanted me to monitor the "Glycemic Index" of everything I put in my mouth. I knew myself better than to think I would ever have the patience for that. I needed something that was a no brainer. 

Eventually my searches took me to the Paleo diet. The Paleo diet works for hypoglycemics because it coincidentally meets the same requirements: low carb, low sugar, high protein. The gist of it is: if our cave-man ancestors couldn't have ate it, then don't eat it either. The philosophy being that, evolution is a slow process, and it's unreasonable to assume that our bodies have evolved quickly enough to learn how to digest some of the agriculture products and processed foods we ingest every day. A lot of buzz is going on currently in nutrition communities basically stating that gluten and grains, the product of the agricultural era, are poison to our bodies and loaded with so much glucose that it's no wonder everyone's obese. 

All of it makes a lot of sense to me, and so with a lot of sadness I've abandoned my vegetarian diet for a Paleo one. 

I am not going to follow the Paleo or Primal diets as strictly as some do however. Many Paleo sites say to avoid dairy for instance, because dairy was not consumed by our cave-men ancestors... they hadn't yet domesticated cows. A similar idea goes for beans and legumes, cave-men would not have been able to soak and prepare those foods, which are inedible in their raw state. 

I personally am only eliminating grains, gratuitous sugars, and processed foods. I'm keeping some dairy, like yogurt for example and cottage cheese. I'm keeping some sugars, like fruit, my natural soy coffee creamer, and natural yogurts (think Trader Joe's Greek yogurt, not things like Boston Creme Yoplait). But I'm eliminating things like oatmeal, pasta, bread, desserts, sodas, and fast food. 

I'm scared. I started yesterday and I could already feel myself on the verge of tears... I had a very long, stressful day and all I wanted was a goddamn ice cream bar! But I drove down to Trader Joe's and got some of their seasonal Pumpkin flavored Greek yogurt. It was great!

I'm worried about my will power.. I haven't shown a lot of strength when it comes to challenges like this in the past, but I'm excited to see if there's a reduction in my hypoglycemia symptoms or any weight loss! 

Wish me luck!