Adding on from autistic (maybe AuDHD) Mac; they've got a variety of stims, but their most common, and often most uncontrollable, are the stereotypical autistic hand flaps and leg swinging.
They don't realise they're doing it at first, it's just part of the way they show joy... until they're sitting with Barry one quiet afternoon, he's interfacing with them the traditional way.
"Hey, Barry! What are you working on?"
Barry's normally sparkly expression is instantly replaced by a tight smile, he clicks out of the video he's watching, "oh, hi Mac- nothing-"
"You forget I can see everything you're doing on me. Jellyfish? Why jellies?"
"They're... really cool..." he pauses, fidgeting with his sleeve.
Mac tilts their head slightly, "you know, you don't need to hide your passion here."
He hesitates for a moment, "..are you sure? People keep saying it's annoying, I need to contain myself... too much, not enoug-"
"I'm curious too, what have you learnt?"
He hesitates for a moment, voice unsteady, "they're 95% water... and don't have a brain.. or organs.. lungs, I mean, they still kinda have stomachs.."
Barry slowly relaxes, the enthusiasm seeping back in. Mac nodding along and asking questions as they see fit.
"Wait.. You're telling me that jellies don't have skeletons?!"
"Not like mammals, they've got this thing known as a hydrostatic skeleton. They rely on the pressure of a fluid, usually water, within the organism to maintain shape and rigidity, the organism kinda like- pushes in on the water, and the built-up pressure allows them to move!" He claps as he speaks, grinning properly again. "I was watching this really cool documentary on them.."
"Barry that's so cool! If I recall correctly, anemones do the same thing. Less to move, but to aid in digestion. I'd love to watch it with you!" They grin, swinging their legs and tapping their face as they speak.
Barry pauses, noticing the movement. He recognises that display of emotion, all too well.
"You... do it too. The thing. The hand thing. I thought I was the only one."
// This might end up becoming part one of many if you guys like it :D adhd/asd solidarity is one of my fav things to write
Seems I'm not the only one who's been pondering this, I've had a handful of asks lately asking for a few hcs and I'm more than happy to indulge *cracks knuckles*
let's be fair I'm absolutely indulging myself too; idk about y'all, I need a bit of disability solidarity and joy in these trying times*
..this was originally going to be broken into a number of sections but atm i've only had asks for wheelchair users/general accessibility things so unless someone asks for more specific details... im saving my spoons, sorry loves, i've had this post drafted since the middle of november-
Mac just gets it. All those unspoken annoyances- they get it. How your shoulders ache after a day out in town, how people are so rude to your face because "you're too young" or "too pretty" to be using aids.. They sigh, smile, and nod in solidarity (and offer to run over people's toes... There are lots of jokes about running over people's toes-)
Quiet maintenance- remembering to inflate your tyres, wash your seat covers, check the tensions and tighten the footplate periodically... They get it. Once they're realized they'll have a bunch of reminders set for their basic chair fixes. Over time that becomes a ritual for both of you- Once a week Mac's phone rings with some freaking nerdy alarm (imo it's either the 100/200 digits of pi song, or the dial up tone) to remind you both to check your tyres, upholstery, nut/bolt tensions and axels. Mac really does change that weekly (..monthly in some cases) chore into something entertaining and enjoyable.
Both of you are constantly bumping into each other (...nonono this is not personal experience from organising meetups with other disabled people- why are you asking- not in the slightest-) much to the entertainment of the other dateables. Mac cracks up laughing the first time you bump frames with them, joking that you'll chip their or your paintwork- Artt hops in with "nothing a bit of a enamel paint can't fix :)." Mac takes that as a challenge to brush wheels with you as often as possible in a slightly teasing, but affectionate way.
One of you starts carrying an alan key, bike pump and tyre patch kit. Idk who (it's probably Mac), but someone definitely does.
New chair day w/ Mac? They'd be excited in only ways other wheelchair users understand. Seriously. Like I can only imagine how much research they'd do into various customisations that can be added to chairs to make them more comfortable and suitable for their partner and/or friend's needs. Spoken like a true nerd, they offer spreadsheets of comparisons, and so many freaking flyers lmao...
ohntofdjfj Realized Mac as an occupational therapist? hey sorry, am I onto something or no?
Look, as much as the fandom has said "I reject your reality and substitute my own" in relation to Mac working crypto... At the very least, they're making bank and fixing or replacing parts is less likely to be a financial strain :) plus im sure the other 99 dateables (101 if you count the DLC) would chip in
~pssst~, you guys only need one set of shower stools, handles, and an accessible kitchen... win...?
MAC POLYAM HEADCANNONS MAC POLYAM HEADCANNONS!! :DD pookies or romantics
(If someone asked this before mb, if not, hope mod have fun writing those ~)
//: AHAHAHA YES. No one has asked me this, but canonically, we know there are "dalliances" and I have spent an ungodly amount of time considering who they'd be-
anyway.. short bit first
Mac as a polyam lover; they'd be so sweet.. So sweet. And would have spreadsheets for days to keep track of their partners interests, hobbies, birthdates and favourite foods. They're the kind of polyam person to have a number of shared calendars to keep track of their dates and when they're spending time with their lovers too. Periodically, they'll send invites out to their partners "My loves! dinner Friday? :)"
I don't think they'd be actively looking for closed polyamory either. I imagine they're more interested in kitchen table poly, or 'the sitcom special' where all of your partners are living nearby and convene for cuddles, meals, and sex.
As much as they tease the player for trying to have a harem of 100+ lovers in fiction, it seems after some careful thought that it's possible to juggle at least a tenth of that. They say they aren't romantic, yet all of their partners find little handmade gifts randomly (on top of birthdays and cultural celebrations) on their doorsteps. They're never signed, but Mac's pixelated font choices, and green and black wrapping paper always makes it blatantly obvious who is responsible, and of course they're ever so attentive to their partners interests, needs and wants.
They're very physically affectionate, but they'd rather be derealized than ever step a second over a boundary. I think at the beginning of any new relationship, they'd sit their new partner down and get them to outline any and all hard limits (not simply physical ones either), and do the same with theirs.
Every little thing is noted, both as a computer but also as they're realized- I imagine they have a part of their phone locked to gather memories, details about their loved ones, and candid photos (with prior consent, of course).
How did they know one of their partners was menstrating this week and needed extra chocolate and a stuffie? Sometimes it's better not to ask-
Or that week there was a suspiciously adult shaped parcel sitting on their doorstep wrapped in green and black ribbon? Again, not asking...
Now.... Because I know a lot of you lovelies are asexual, or aromantic, I have some headcanons especially for you.
Ace first- they Do Not Care that you're ace. I imagine Mac considers sex enjoyable and fun, but they're fine if any of their partners didn't want it. Sex favourable? Awesome. Sex neutral? Chill. Sex repulsed? Fantastic. They'd track that information down somewhere (or ask), and find out what that looks like for you- do you still experience a little sexual attraction? Do you like sex? Do you hate it? Are you kinky but prefer not to have clothing come off? Do you write lewd fanfic but can't stand the idea of acting on it? What level of flirtatious commentary do you enjoy, if any? What compliments make you feel best?
They'd be there with all of the questions to try to figure out a relationship map that suits you both.
Mac won't, and doesn't care. They love you, in their mind sex is just another way of showing that, they're not losing anything by not doing so with you. They still think you're downright gorgeous and lovely.
Onto aromantic partner hcs!
Seriously Mac's just like "oh what, you're telling me that normal people actually want to go on dates and do cutesy things-? Ew. I thought that was only a book thing-" this is the moment they realise they aren't as alloromantic as originally suspected. 🫡
longer bit, dynamics...
A friend and I spent.. eep, far too long discussing this the other week, some of these thoughts were prompted or enabled by them :) <3
In my headcanons, Mac's always sat in the awkward position of struggling to differentiate between platonic, romantic and occasionally sexual attraction (*hc them as demirose and/or greyrose (rose = romantic and sexual)), which... well, to say it complicates things a little would be an understatement.
the list of characters i think they're crushing on (in the 'i cannot tell if i just want to befriend this person or whether i would like them romantically or as fwb-' way) is kind of long.
Characters I suspect they had 'Dalliances' with during their storyline are marked blue :)
Chance: has been explained in the early days of the blog, but they're freaking nerds okay, there's no way those two haven't freaked out about GNG together. I think Chance is too shy to have actually acted on those feelings, though, and Mac would've been too hesitant about overstepping… Basically, those two would need a third wheel for it to turn into anything more than respectfully distanced platonic with a bit of unspoken attraction.
Skips: these two have entirely messed around with one another, no questions. I suspect it happened accidentally too, hanging out as friends; Skips was on a forum, Mac half-asleep watching him type…which turned into a more alert, flustered, 'oh, that- that feels nice-', and Skips, playing innocent, kept teasing until Mac starts begging. All over from there. They don't talk about it afterwards; the two pretend it simply didn't happen (but alone at night, they both think about it a lot- Mac's never bluescreened like that before, and Skips finds himself blushing furious shades of gold at the memory).
Mateo: Mac can't tell those warm fuzzies they feel every time Mateo is around is due to his nature as a blanket, or whether it's a little more than enjoying his company. They don't question it much.
Eddie & Volt: okay, hear me out. The breaker box boys, or Volt at least, ends up with a working relationship with all the electronics. It's mentioned/implied somewhere in their storyline that Volt can feel when something's switched on, or drawing power, and Mac is perpetually plugged into the grid.
Volt knows about all of those late night study sessions; the way the electricity draw changes when Mac's powered on and how the draw stutters when the homeowner double clicks. Volt works out what's happening relatively quickly and can't help himself from teasing Mac next time he sees them. Mac is done for - they always thought Volt was attractive, but considered him significantly out of their league, and there was always Eddie. They really do assume that Volt & Eddie aren't available, nor interested, and that Eddie's general demeanour is a No go...
Despite everything, here's Volt, holding a hand out, saying they're pretty, that him and Eddie aren't romantically involved, and asking them to dance after spending hours on the internet learning how to adapt ceroc (dance style like west coast swing and modern jive) moves to a wheelchair user. How can they ever say no?
Eddie is less flirtatious, but I can see him asking Mac for pointers while trying to fix the fluctuations.
They end up genuinely good friends; Mac's supportive and straightforward, Eddie admires that, finds them grounding (pun intended), and over time he opens up about some of his fatigue, the way his hands shake when he's trying to fix the wires, how he struggles with interaction, and Mac knows those feelings, all too well (even if they hide them better). They spend hours talking about it, Mac offering suggestions, resources and a listening ear, Eddie asking questions, learning, and for the first time since Volt split, he doesn't feel so alone. He wasn't expecting asking Mac to go anywhere, let alone to find someone else who not only understands what he's experiencing, but has lived something similar, and helps without expecting anything in return. He's thrilled, in his own quiet way- and tells Volt the morning after.
It's not long until the three of them are hanging out in the office after hours, laughing, chatting, and playing games. Mac teaches Volt how to use the internet for advertising without being obnoxious, Eddie finds out he enjoys playing chess (and is constantly beaten by Mac's predictive algorithms, much to their amusement), the pair get Mac to try a few different cocktails, mocktails and other drinks - after all, they'd only ever heard about how they taste, rather than tried them, (Volt considers this a tragedy that must be remedied as soon as possible). Mac finds out they're quite fond of dessert wine and chocolate liqueur, much to sarcastic comments about being a lightweight from Eddie- as much as he laughs at the way Mac splutters taking shots, he can't help how warm Volt and Mac make him feel, nor how easily he sleeps when they're both nearby.
Their friendship slowly melts into more - Eddie knows it, Mac knows it, Volt knows it, but they never name it. They're comfortable as they are, friends... but... a little different :)
Mac being perpetually connected to the internet eventually finds a term, and plucks up the confidence to bring it up with Eddie and Volt- suggesting that perhaps a queerplatonic relationship might be the best way to go about ‘Whatever This Is.’
Rebel: IM NOT SORRY. Rebel is freaker than Mac is, they find that immensely hot. Particularly if they can get past Rebel's defensiveness. We know Rebel interacts with them when hunting for their family, and that we [the player] don't hear anything about Rebel's searches, as their privacy settings were set to ‘Fuck Off’
If you say that you're worried about Rebel, Mac returns it with "I'm worried about them too." There are feelings there, at least a little care on Mac's end. Rebel lists empathy as one of their greatest kinks.
"They're sure a fiesty one, you wouldn't think rubber could fly that fast" and how would you know 🤨 I think they've at least taken the kink test together...if not entirely worked out how a rubber duck and a computer fuck (and regularly...)
Also worth noting that a lot of programmers use rubber ducks to explain their code aloud. It's known as 'Rubberducking.' Mac explaining code to Rebel- Rebel cursing them for being so nerdy but Rebel would be lying if they tried to hide how into they're it they are.
Mitchell Linn: another hear me out. The homeowner has snacks at the desk, and they left them behind one day. Mac and Mitchell get chatting after it. Mac's tired, their expression heavy, and Mitchell does what he does best- comfort through food....well, food videos. They end up very friendly afterwards, despite the fact Mitchell gets in their keys (in more ways than one 😉).
Daemon: okay so this drastically depends on how you look at Daemon's interactions with others and whether he [Daemon] can interact with other dateables. Assuming she [Daemon] can, then Mac and it [Daemon] end up having some incredibly...unusual...interfacing. Mac's scared of them [Daemon], for sure, but also incredibly intrigued.
Mac's seen and arguably experienced how bugs and glitches feel- In that way, Daemon freaks them out.... Yet, from everything they've seen, they're harmless, just...silly, and Mac admires that silliness in a way that makes their CPU flutter and their task manager stutter.
Bodhi: similar to Zoey later on, Mac helps out with adjusting to his new time period...however, in Bohdis case, it goes a little beyond friendship. They freak out about 80s tech together, Mac attempts to help him up to speed regarding LGBTQ identities...slow burn, very slow burn, but.. they definitely end up giving sex a shot.
Ben Hwa: they've fucked. Mac is a freak (pos) as is Ben Hwa, it was only logical Mac gets their wires twisted. Need I say more?
Barry: they bond over shared neurodivergence :]
Betty: canonically challenging, when Betty is upstairs...but they'd be so cute together. We know Betty is a super sensual person, Mac would find that off putting At First, she'd find their weak spots though, call them sweet names, and they would fold.
Lyric: how else do eReaders exist?
there's a few more characters I think they'd be friends/friendly with but wouldn't get confused about whether they like them romantically or sexually
Anyone in the office, basically
Rongomaiwhenua
Dasha
Jerry
Penelope
Shelly
Vaughan and Mac have a bit of a fraught friendship but I think they get along eventually.
Zoey: until she gets an ending with the player, she can't really be seen by others, and logistically speaking, Mac would struggle to get up the stairs (not that Keith's storyline seemed to care)...but after Zoey gets an ending, Mac helps her to adjust to the difference between the 2020s, and the 80s...which ends in Zoey, forgetting she has a human-like body again falling asleep at the desk. Mac, being who they are, ruffles a hand through her hair, makes sure she's comfortable...and that's the beginning of a very warm friendship.
I think Amir and Mac would get along too, but maybe that's because Amir gets along with everyone 😆
there are MORE I promise there are more. I am working on a VERY LONG document going through my headcanons for interactions between Mac ALL of the other characters, but it's going to take me a while to do it. The posts will be going up in chunks 😆
"When my body turns against me, will you still love me?"
Sooooo, my lovelies… How do I say this, your concepts (period anon this is directed at you particularly) have wormed your way into my brain. THEY WON'T S T O P </3
UPDATE TIME!!!
Turns out that single shot concept has turned into a 4-page outline including a soundtrack...
YeAh aNYwAy, IT'S GOT CHAPTERS NOW!
Best Read on ao3: chapter 2 "this isn't normal, byte" is up now!
//: period ask, part 2!
the ao3 version has extra content ;)
It hits harder this time. Harder than before.
At first, it’s just Mac curled up with their heat pack, jaw clenched, the usual grim defiance in their eyes. By mid-afternoon, though, their face has gone white, sweat plastering their hair to their forehead. When they shift forward to transfer out of their chair, their hands slip. Their knees barely catch the weight before buckling, and you only just lunge in time to stop them from crumpling to the floor.
“Mac— Hey— stay with me,” you whisper, lowering them back into their chair. Their skin is clammy, their breathing shallow.
“I’m fine,” they rasp, eyes unfocused. "Always am."
“You are not fine. You basically passed out on me.”
Mac gives a weak, bitter laugh that turns into a whimper. “Guess… I’m dramatic, after all.”
You press the back of your hand to their cheek—too hot. Feverish. Fear spikes through your chest.
“I’m calling a doctor,” you say, already reaching for your phone.
“No!” Their hand shoots out, weak but desperate, clutching yours. “They’ll just tell me it’s normal. That I’m overreacting. I can’t—” Their breath hitches, sharp with pain. “I can’t take being dismissed again.”
Your heart aches. You squeeze their trembling fingers, grounding them. “Mac. Passing out from pain isn’t normal. None of this is normal. You deserve answers. You deserve help.”
Their wild eyes meet yours, glassy and terrified. “What if it’s something bad?”
“Then we face it together.” You brush damp hair back from their forehead, kissing it gently. “But pretending it’s nothing won’t make it go away.”
For a long moment, Mac just stares at you, trembling. And then they break—ugly sobs tearing through their chest, shoulders shaking as they collapse against you.
“I thought I was just weak,” they choke out. “All this time—I thought I was just being weak.”
You hold them tight, rocking them through the storm. “No, byte. You’ve been surviving hell. That isn’t weakness. That’s the definition of strength.”
Their sobs burn themselves out into shudders, then into silence. Their fist is still tangled in your shirt like they’re afraid you’ll vanish.
“We’re in this together my darling. It’s okay.”
They flat out ignore the comment. “No one else—” Mac’s voice cracks. “No one else had this. Everyone else in that house figured it out, they’re fine, they’re doing life—” They drag a shaking hand across their damp face. “Why me? What the hell did I do wrong?”
You open your mouth, but the words keep tumbling out, jagged and furious;
“I thought it was just... I thought it was just normal human shit. But everyone else—everyone else gets to live their life, and I can’t even get to the bathroom without—” Their voice shatters. “I can’t—I can’t do this, I can’t— I thought being human would be good. And it’s not… it’s just been one thing after another, and I can’t- I can’t!”
You catch them before they fold in on themselves, holding tight through the sobs. Guilt chews at your chest, was making them real the right choice?
“You need water,” you mutter, leaning down with a cup. They scowl, voice rough: “I don’t need you hovering.”
“Mac… Darling, you don’t have to do it alone. Not anymore. I’m here. I always will be.”
~~~
You don’t back off. Kneeling, your hands brush against their arm as you steady the cup. The contact lingers longer than necessary, and they feel it in a way that has nothing to do with the liquid inside the cup.
“I called the doctor,” you say softly, almost like confessing something. Their jaw tightens. “Really? You think I need—” Their words break off mid-sentence, replaced by a sharp inhale as cramps twist through them.
“You do need help, byte” you insist, voice steady but soft. “I can’t just… let this go on when I know how much it’s hurting you.”
They swallow, guilt and frustration and pain twisting together. “I hate needing you,” they whisper, almost to themselves.
You freeze for a second, heart aching. “I hate seeing you like this,” you counter, brushing damp hair back from their temple. The contact is electric, intimate, and both of you feel it but neither moves away.
For a long, heavy moment, silence stretches between you, loaded with everything unsaid; fear, care, longing, guilt.. gods, so much guilt. No one has said it yet, but you’re both wondering if making them human was the right thing to do.
They shift slightly, trying to protest, but your steady hand keeps them grounded.
“I… I just want to survive this,” they admit finally, voice cracking. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden,” you say firmly. “You’re mine, and I’m not letting you go through this alone. Not now, not ever.” Their lips part in surprise, and all they can manage is a shaky, almost imperceptible nod. For the first time that day, they allow themselves to breathe
// headcanons & thoughts 0.3: disability, Mac as a mirror
You all keep asking what my disability headcanons are for Mac.... girls, guys, gays, and theys, have you considered, perhaps, I hadn't posted any intentionally? </3
Don't worry, I'm not actually mad, BUT I would like you all to bear in mind that, at least in my eyes, Mac had been designed to be an ambiguously disabled character, where their disability is simply Part of Them (which disability is for many of us, but sometimes characters are meant to tell stories, sometimes they're just meant to Be. I think Mac was just meant to Be, rather than explicitly telling a specific condition/s story).
Examples:
> Mac: a character who has an overarching story, who happens to be disabled, and some of their lines can be read under a disability lense, but their disability is never stated, beyond that first 'bespectacled nerd in an RGB wheelchair' introduction from the Narrator.
> Felix (Heartstopper: Netflix adaptation): a character who happens to be disabled, but it's not focused on.
> The main cast of characters in Take All of Us by @natalieleif: tells a story that heavily revolves around disabled experience.
> Cara in All the Things We Never Said by Yasmin Rahman: tells a story of intersectional experience, focusing on the impact of Cara's disability on her mental health (both are amazing books btw, I highly recommend reading them... check trigger warnings first).
See the difference?
All that being said, the Blank Slate of ~headcanon~ calls.... and I have thoughts, too many thoughts. They are pouring out of my ears and if I don't write them, I shall explode*
I find it kinda funny; I've been a casual fan of Regan Linton (Mac's VA) for ages. Mostly for her Shakespeare, Ted Talks and as a disabled advocate in media. And finding out this ~totally perfect disaster enby~ that is Mac was voiced by her.... MY HEART EXPLODED. Dream come true, I swear.
I wish she'd narrate audiobooks.
Amended after queuing: @nebbs-writes I only just saw your post with very similar theories/themes, and I had already drafted this. I hope it's okay that there's some crossover. Go read their theories too! She's awesome! (I shall be bothering and reblogging a bunch of your stuff in a hot second <3)
Onto the Headcanons. And the suffering. Mac, I'm sorry in advance (again).
// heads up: discussion of internalised/externalised ableism (duh), mental illness, physical illness (duh), chronic pain (another duh), and some bodily functions not everyone will be comfortable with. This kind of stuff is super important to talk about, and destigmatise, but look after yourself first. <3
Trigger topics/sensitive subjects are under the cut.
Updates;
I'm sure not the only one who was nervous when Mac said they needed an update that the dev team would turn around, and suddenly Mac would be another conventionally attractive enby nerd... and bye-bye disability. But they didn't. Thank the gods. Instead, we ended up with the entire dialogue series, "You look exactly the same?" "Seriously, it's more than just exactly the same?! Internally, I'm processing information so much faster and so much more efficiently." which... dunno guys, Kinda Sounds Like They're Finally Being Supported.
Many studies show that giving disabled people the supports they need (an upgrade, perhaps) increases happiness, self-esteem, productivity* and all around quality of life. It may not be a visible upgrade, but having your needs properly met does wonders.
*fuck capitalism. Your worth is NOT founded in how productive you are- but for the sake of the point, I will keep this in. Funny how having support and not running in survival mode constantly means you have the energy to do things that matter to you...
Internalised ableism; "And more importantly, I'm finally going to be good enough for you."
This statement carries the assumption that being disabled (or struggling, needing support or in Mac's case, an update) makes someone not 'good enough' for love, care, partnership or friendship. That belief doesn’t come out of nowhere, most of the time it’s a reflection of how society constantly frames disabled people as 'less than,' a burden, or someone others have to 'put up with.' .
So instead of recognising, 'I’m worthy and valuable regardless of disability,' (perhaps better phrased as "functionality" in Mac's case) the thought becomes, "I'll only be worthy once I’m ‘fixed,’ less disabled, or easier to love."
Changes to their wheelchair; the game devs are cool but~ I have an in-line-with-canon explanation for why it changed, hold the suspension of disbelief, for a minute.
I'm sure we've all heard the conversation about Mac's original design being much closer to a hospital chair than a lightweight manual chair— which is why it was changed at the suggestion of disabled fans. But I have an alternative explanation that doesn’t break Skylar’s suspension, and I think it’s kind of heartwarming (and I really wanna see what you all think, hehe).
What if, instead of changing their design entirely, Mac just got an upgrade when they were realized? I totally get why the devs didn’t go this route. It would’ve been a more subtle detail that most players wouldn't notice or understand the significance of.... but hear me out.
A lot of wheelchair users first chairs aren’t particularly ergonomic, comfortable, or safe. Mine was definitely a disaster: heavy, awkward, and constantly putting my shoulders at risk of dislocation whenever I tried to self-propel (tbf my current chair does that too but less). Looking back, it resembled Mac’s original design far more than their updated one. That early design wasn’t wrong; it was just… different, based on knowledge that a lot of us disabled people often don't have when we're first navigating changing needs.
I imagine Mac might've had the same thing.
Thinking about Mac going through that same kind of experience, and then finally getting an upgrade that’s safer for their body, easier to move, and better suited to their needs just makes me really happy. There’s something really comforting about imagining that small but meaningful improvement in their life... along with the fact they're human at that point! >:D
I imagine them side by side like this.
This headcanon came out of a polite misunderstanding I had with someone over Tumblr when I was first getting into DE, but I like it enough to share it as a more fleshed out thought.
Post realization; "My body feels incredible, yet my brain feels substantially less, what's the word? Uh, good."
... Mac bby, have you considered that, perhaps, shifting from code- a relatively logical, predictable thing- to the 1.3kg gelatin-ish blob with electricity and hormones running through it, might not do too great?
Personal disability HCs
o k k a y and this is when you all find out wayyyyyy too much about me/my nerdy lil interests. Bear in mind I am not a doctor, and I am not a psychologist (tho I want to be... give it a few more years of study); this is not diagnostic advice, this is fan theory based on anecdotal experience and some research (NOT MED SCHOOL LEVEL THO. I am not a doctorrrrr. Aaaaah. This would be one of the reasons I haven't mentioned any of these headcanons).
Autism Spectrum Disorder: I feel like this one is relatively self-explanatory and a well shared fandom sentiment. Mac's speech patterns are very ASD coded, and the way that they warm up to the player over time (as long as the player shares their enthusiasm, that is) is very reminiscent of ASD social interactions; lots of 'let me show you what I like, and you can do the same!'
ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome): "Rebooting from the update has left me feeling quite lethargic." "Rebooting has been enormously draining." it's REALLY common for people with CFS to have delayed sleep/co morbid insomnia/sleep latency. Unrefreshing sleep, like Mac describes, albeit in tech terms, read so much like CFS to me.
When it comes to their mobility aids, my brain immediately jumps to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome because that’s my own experience, so I might be a little biased here, but hear me out... I imagine Mac has some kind of chronic condition that affects connective tissue or joints; stuff like EDS, or maybe another condition that causes instability, pain, and fatigue. I could also see it being something more neurological (e.g. FND) or muscular, like cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy, depending on how you want to spin the lore... but as the game leaves their experience very open to interpretation, you're entirely free to make your own headcanons <3
//: slightly graphic/uncomfortable commentary follows
mentions of nausea, vomiting, intersex discovery, mental health challenges, IBS, and the much, much less glamorous sides of disability .... and sex!
You're still here? Awesome. I'm sorry for what I'm about to subject you to.
Continuing on from disability headcanons
Sex & Intimacy
Pain during sex … not because they don’t want it (they do), but because their body is a bastard: hips subluxating mid-thrust, pelvic cramping, mandatory breaks that frustrate the hell out of them.
Fluid boundaries with aids: sex toys that double as pain-management tools (pillows, wedges, restraints-as-supports)… which spirals into a wild rope kink because it keeps their joints in place and makes them feel sexy.
Scare factor: several times partners genuinely wonder if Mac has passed out. And yeah, oops. Sex so good your partner pancaked cuz their heart rate shot up too high. 🥴
Shame vs. Joy: fear of being 'too fragile' to be sexy vs. gleeful defiance that leads to some questionable stains on their wheelchair cushion (that’s what washing machines are for, no judgment here).
Safety conversations: "hey, if my jaw dislocates while kissing, just help me pop it back in, don’t freak out. It happens. Don’t stop—"
Trust is huge: partners who don’t flinch when Mac says “ow,” or need to stop for nausea. They use a traffic light system or leveled safewords to keep things flowing.
Aftercare 2.0: beyond the usual cuddles and movies, it’s about making sure they don’t pay for it with a next-day flare: snuggles, hot baths, careful stretches, and massage become routine
Medical / Bodily Messy Stuff
GI issues: IBS flare-ups, constipation, diarrhea, bloating that makes clothes feel like medieval torture.
Swallowing struggles (dysphagia): coughing mid-drink, avoiding certain foods, “choking hazard” jokes to cover embarrassment.
Nausea & vomiting: sometimes random, sometimes food-triggered, sometimes anxiety-triggered. Intersects cruelly with ASD - nausea fuels the sensory issues, sensory issues fuel the nausea.
Joint instability cause issues: jaw subluxations while eating or kissing; ribs slipping when they cough.
Autonomic issues: dizziness, fainting when standing, heart rate spiking from basically nothing.
Pain roulette: “is this endo cramps, joint sublux, or did I just anger my GI tract?” No one knows. Least of all Mac.
Identity / Intersex Layer
I have.. two theories:
1. Realization-linked; Mac’s realized body aligns with their partner’s attraction (based on the 100TB of extremely embarrassing self insert fanfic).
2. Preferred theory: because they were a computer, and computers don’t have sex (no matter what conservatives say), they realize as intersex.
Likely combo: clinical hyperandrogenism + PCOS + maybe other variations. PCOS is considered intersex by the community, ftr.
Medical trauma overlap: constant appointments where their body is picked apart as 'abnormal.'
Gender navigation: how intersex traits and disability intersect with perception leads to less agency over how others define them.
Hormone chaos: irregular cycles, surprise spotting, doctors looking confused as all hell.
Mental Health / Social Messy Stuff
Medical trauma & distrust: dismissed for years, taught to doubt their own body.
Embarrassment: being sick at a bad time (sick at work, IBS on a date, fainting in public, the usual).
Hypervigilance: always scanning for exits, bathrooms, safe people.
Depression/anxiety flares: worsened by pain, worsens pain in return.. vicious cycle.
Pain + fatigue combo platter: sometimes the flare days just dissolve into a swamp of 'guess I live here now, under this blanket'
The Cancel Plans Olympics: every withdrawal fuels the guilt which fuels the loneliness which in turn fuels the spiral. Gold medal in isolation, baby!
What I like to call the Brain Gremlins, insecurities: 'you’re a burden, everyone hates you, you should be easier."
Coping?? Never met her: sometimes this spirals into self-harming behaviour... not usually 'I want to die,' but more 'if only it hurt somewhere else for a second'
Shame hangover: immediately followed by 'wooow, I can’t even suffer correctly, incredible!'
Endo Pain
Pelvic cramps radiating into back, hips, thighs.
Painful penetrative sex.
Bleeding that isn’t predictable or tidy.
“Is it cramps or dislocation?” A timeless classic.
Intersex + Endo Together
Doctors refusing to believe them... 'that doesn’t line up with your variation,' so their pain is ignored for years.
Extra shame in exams/surgeries: medical staff treating them like a specimen, not a person.
Identity conflict: 'Am I broken because I don’t line up with what they expect?'
Eventually... reclaiming identity: not broken, just beyond their definitions.
------
"Mod, why are you going into that much detail?"
Because I'm writing about Mac. I want to do them justice, and I want to do us justice.
Because disability isn't tidy. It's not just cute mobility aids and inspirational montages, it's nausea in the middle of classes, it's sex that gets interrupted for water and painkillers, it's doctors rolling their eyes at you, it's wondering if you're "too much."
Media usually erases those parts- never dares to touch on the concept that a disabled character would desire sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy or how that affects our realities.
Disabled characters are either sanitised into mascots of "pure, noble suffering" or turned into objects of pity. Neither leaves space for the truth: disabled people live in messy, funny, gross, intimate, complicated bodies. And our bodies are still worthy of love, care, and being seen.
by nerds, anon, I'm assuming you mean Mac, Chance, Parker, Lyric, Penelope, Dolly .. who am I missing... Skips, Artt, Barry maybe? Kopi??
The majority of the dateables seem like nerds to me in some way or another (nerd is the highest compliment I can bestow upon someone, this is a good thing), I don't know who You define as the nerds </3
but alright, let's do this.
The player can be any gender, and any character can be romanced by any gender, so canonically... all characters are all on the multi spectrum (bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, etc. Considering no character's dialogue changes drastically based on the pronouns of the player, I would argue they're all canonically pansexuals. ANYWAY - tangent over), onto the headcanon.
Mac: as stated in an earlier post, I don't think they label their gender and sexuality beyond "not cis, not straight."
Either that, or they are in the depths of xenogenders and neopronouns; all depends on the PC, right?
I tend to write them with non-binary, polyam, greyromantic, and pan/bisexual identities in mind. Post realization I write them as an intersex person with a semi functional uterus, and top surgery scarring - though I imagine they never actually had top surgery, the scars just kinda appeared lol. They're still intersex though.
Chance: i love him so much :sob: and he is entirely a polyam disaster- if only so he had a full campaign at any point. I could be talked into thinking he's a bit genderfluid too...
I've never met a dm who wasn't bi or "het/gay, but could be persuaded the other way" and a liiiitle bit gnc. You kinda gotta be with that number of characters running 'round your head.
Parker: gay. I.. yeah, I got nothing on why. but gay. he/they demiboy. Everything is up to those dice, though.
Lyric: genderfluid (i dont think they realise quite what genderfluid is, but lyric in a dress sounds like good time), queer, doesn't label their sexuality much: hopeless romantic, can't flirt for shit. do i know why? nope, just vibes. bookish vibes, but still vibes~
Penelope: she is a lesbian, if I ever saw one. I know she goes on dates with guys, but she seemed so much happier with girls :(
Dolly: oriented grey-aroace; any kind of romantic/sexual attraction is really uncommon for her, and she finds it wildly confusing if she does catch feelings for someone, but she's a really loving, caring partner.
Skips: trans. man. skips. TRANS SKIPS. He's so... trans coded, I can't entirely explain why, but he just... screams trans to me. That whole online persona thing is really, really common in the trans community when you're only just starting to question if you might be trans too. Characters, usernames, they're all easy, and relatively safe ways to explore your gender identity. he reads as greyasexual/asexual to me.
Artt: pansexual and that man would fucking worship you. you ARE the art, and he wants to make sure you damn well know it.
Barry: disastersexual <3 im kidding but i sincerely imagine he has a Bit Of A History with picking less than complimentary partners... pansexual and such a honeybun about it too.
Kopi: welllllll, her VA is a trans woman. so trans Kopi! <3 And isn't she an icon for it too, barista bi :P
