i think something's wrong with me.. i feel like i could have my closest loved ones die and i'd just be like aw man. rather inconvenient innit. like someone got admitted to smth less than ideal for like a week or so, not specifying further for some vague attempt at privacy, i barely miss him. but like he's my favorite person in the world. the light of my life. tho oddly enough i find my mental health hinging on someone else less important somehow, so maybe it's that? or maybe it's that i'm constantly dissociated at all times, maybe possibly in theory? or am i just some sort of sociopath?? i mean, nothing wrong with being a sociopath, and i doubt i am one, but like. MAN. ugh,, oh also just in general feel like my brain is like rotting? a job wouldn't fix me, i need something to sorta "stretch" my brain frequently i guess. though knowing me, i'd never be as consistent with anything i chose as school always had me be with everything... uuuugh. i'm just doomed to feel way less intelligent than my actual potential i guess. something is so wrong with me