You are my star
Ulf the white x reader
Summary: The times have changed. After losing Jace everything turned upside down. The only comfort you got was from a stranger that slowly was not a stranger anymore. He became something far more important and dangerous. Your lives were at stake and nobody knew if you would survive this. Could this love save the both of you, or would it destroy you?
Warnings: 18+, mention of war, war, death, age gap, reader is in her 20s, mention of death, death, mention of possible suicide, denied feelings, denial, fighting, kissing, smut, p in v, creampie, unprotected sex, conflicted feelings, blood, mention of blood, drinking, incest, other sexual acts,spoilers for Ulfs story
Words:14.194 k
Note: I hope you like this one. I just wanted to write something for Ulf. The urge overcame me and well here we are. Enjoy this long hell ride! Please let me know your thoughts about this fic!I would love your feedback! My native language is not english!
Why are you still here? How on earth could you let that happen? Your arms are wrapped tightly around your middle as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Your skin had ash and dirt on it. Your hair, stuck to your forehead. Your eyes were open wide. A look of horror and disbelief shining in them.
One a bright lilac while the other was a different colour. It was Y/E/C. Mismatched. Making you different from your family. Deep sadness struck you with force. Cut deeper than a knife and you could not stop the sob that was escaping your throat.
This was a horrible nightmare. It feels like you were still on the battlefield. Flying through the sky’s with Jace and Baela to help them fight against the enemy’s ships. You still see the fire of the burning ships behind your eyes. Still hear the screams of those who were on the ships that had burned. Guilt plagued you. Burning down those ships, it had given you a sense of power. Killing those, people. It had made you feel good somehow. You hated this. Hated that it had made you feel this way. A deep hatred for yourself roared inside you, that only added fuel to the fire.
Water sweeled up in your eyes. They burned. Like you were burning from the inside out.
In a moment you see Jace flying past you.
Way to low. To close to the ships. Then a large bolt hit Vermax. Making the dragon struggle, losing a lot of blood. You wanted to fly down. To help him. Save him. Save your cousins life. To many arrows shot at you to get close to him. Baela had tried the same. Then he fell. Into the water. Vermax struggled. Trying to get out of the ocean. But it was too late. The wound was too much. The dragon drowned.
With horror you had watched.
More arrows flew past you. Rage filled you.
Jace swam up, trying to hold onto some wood. Then he was shot. Arrow after arrow had pierced his flesh. The horrified look on his face. It had burned itself in your memory. In that moment you were numb. A cold spreading throughout your body. Baela screamed. Her scream echoing over the gullet. You wanted to scream and cry. Instead, you were completely still. Your dragon roared. A sound so hollow it would have made a normal human shiver with fear.
You had not even noticed Hugh and Ulfs arrival. They took care of the rest of the ships.
Baela had wanted to retrieve Jaces body; however, the sea had already taken him. Swallowed him up, just like it had done with Luce.
Just like it had done with Vermax. There grave was the sea.
That was the place where they belonged. Together.
Tears spilled from your eyes. Flowing down your cheeks. Your nails dug harder into your arms, and you let out another sob. Your lungs burned, struggled to take in air. It was like you were drowning in that moment. Nothing and none to hold onto. No light in the darkness. All alone. You were always so alone.
The only companion you had this last twenty years had been your dragon. His scales had reminded you of a gemstone called Ruby when you were younger. Beautiful and otherworldly. Now grown into a large dragon, he had four large horns on each side of his head. The upper ones tilted upwards and the lower ones downwards. His sapphire eyes, that when you gazed into, you could not look away.
Vividly you recall the flight back to Dragonstone. The look on Baelas face spoke more than thousand words ever could. Hugh flying on the other side next to her. Next to you was Silverwing. He had gazed at you. No smile or smirk on his face like usual. It was not sadness either. Maybe it was pity. He had not known Jace well to feel sad. You had. Growing up you cannot recall a moment that you had not spend with Jace, Luce and Joffrey. They had always been by your side. Not a moment was without laughter, fights or cries.
They are your family.
Had always been your family. Since the moment Daemon had introduced you to them. Little Jace when he was still a baby and you were already a few years old at that time. Recalling his little fists and chubby cheeks nearly made you cry on the spot. Then when Deamon and Rhaenyra had married on Dragonstone and you had moved there with your siblings. For that long you have been together with them.
You had avoided looking at Ulf. Knowing that if you did, you could not hold back the tears anymore. One look into his eyes would have broken the damn that you had built. Would have made the tears have shot out of your eyes like a waterfall.
Here in the darkness of your chambers, you could curl into a ball. Your back against the stone-cold wall that you had sunken against and cry. Your nails digging painfully into your flesh now. Leaving marks on your skin. Hair falling into your face and obscuring your view you wept harder. A nightmare. It was a fucking nightmare. Jace cannot be dead. He cannot be. Before your eyes you could see the little boy, he once was. The boy who had asked question about Old Valyria. The gleam of curiosity in his eyes when he did. You could answer his questions and at the same time fuel his need for more knowledge. Everything you knew about Valyria was due to your father. Daemon had made sure you learned to speak High Valyrian fluently. That you learned the history of the place you came from. Who your ancestors were.
All this did not matter now.
The only feeling that matter was the cold, achy feeling inside your heart. It felt like your heart was freezing over and burning at the same time. It hurt. Hurt so badly.
You had not even heard the knock on your door. Had not noticed someone getting into your chambers until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Your head snapped up immediately and you found Ulf gazing down at you. A conflicted look on his face. Your mismatched eyes gaze deeply into his. Your tear covered face must be truly a sight. You rub your face with your sleeve and feel your nose running. Ignoring the snot that was now on your sleeves you gazed past him for a moment. “Why are you here Ulf?” Your voice was hoarse from all the crying. Your throat even hurt a little. Ulfs hand on your shoulder squeezed you gently. Not letting go. “I came looking for you. I…did not like the look on your face when you left the hall after the queen…had expressed her madness”, he answered. You gave Ulf a side eye.
However, he gazed at you with the same expression as before. He really looked worried. Ulf had a hard time understanding what he was to speak and what not. Sometimes over the last couple of months, it had been refreshing and sometimes it had been madness. Calling the Queen mad was not respectful, however you let it slide this time. “She has every right to be angry. Her son is dead”, you muttered. Playing with the sleeves of your tunic. You were not wearing a dress like usual. No, you wore a tunic and breeches. Before, you had on a black, red coat as well as a belt for your sword.
You were not a stranger to fighting with one. You have been trained.
Ulf started to stroke your shoulder now and it calmed you. Slowly you removed yourself from his touch and stood up. Your body was aching from the position you had put yourself in. Ulf rose with you. His eyes not letting you out of sight. “Still, it does not give her the right to say that it was your fault. You could not have known that this would happen” You shake your head and wipe away more tears that were spilling from your eyes. Rhaenyra had every right to say that. You should have stopped Jace, however in that moment it had felt right. Flying off to battle. Nothing could stop you three, at least it had felt like that in this moment. Now you know how foolish this had been. You three had been fools and one had to pay with his life for that.
“It was foolish Ulf! We should have never flown to battle! We three should have stayed on Dragonstone! Jace would still be alive! It would be different now. Rhaenyra would not have lost him! As would have I!”, you snapped at him. More tears broke free and Ulf frowned. He looked unsure of what to do. Coming closer and spreading his arms out, like he wanted to pull you into a hug. You stepped back. Swallowing the lump in your throat. “Leave Ulf!” He lowered his hands and a sigh left his lips. He mumbled something you could not catch and then he left.
Hours later you had left your chambers.
You needed to leave. The walls around you had begun to suffocate you. Your head was not clear and needed to be cleared. You had thought about Ulf after he left. He was a strange man. A mystery and then not a mystery at all. He was just a simple man and yet he did not seem to leave your thoughts alone. He was a stranger, but was he really? After the claiming, Ulf and Hugh had become the new riders of Vermithor and Silverwing. They were trained, to get a control over their dragons. Adam and Hugh had been the most willing to do so. Ulf however was lazy and only had cared about eating and drinking. Jace often had called him out. Saying that he has no respect at all for what you all were doing here.
Curious you asked one of the Dragonkeepers if Ulf had made any progress in speaking high Valyrian. He struggled. He could not grasp the complexity of the words and even had trouble reading and writing in the normal tongue. So, you had decided to take Ulf under your wing. Early in the morning you woke him up. Throwing that lazy old man out of his bed. He did not like it and was grumpy afterwards. You started to teach him the basics which sometimes was frustrating. Ulf always made some jokes or comments that did not belong in lessons at all.
You even made a system for Ulf. Every time he made progress he got a treat. As ridicules as this may sound, it was the only way to encourage him.
Overtime the two of you grew closer. Yes, he still made jokes and ridicules comments in the worst moments possible however he felt a little more at home. In the beginning Ulf had trouble feeling at home. You even started to talk with him outside your lessons. Ulf only had Hugh and Adam. They were not pleased with his behaviour and Ulf struggled to make friends with them. Some part of you had felt sorry for him. Being alone with no friends around you, must have felt suffocating.
One morning, you were already ready to throw him out of his bed again, you found yourself face to face with him at the door. He had gotten out of bed all by himself. Pleased you had led him to the chamber with a view outside of Dragonstone.
He followed close behind. Making his usual comments about Hugh being mean to him and Adam not understanding his love for drinking. He was whining and complaining as always. Typical Ulf. You had gotten used to it. Even grown fond of it somehow. Starting your lessons about Valyrian history he listened, trying to catch every word you spoke in high Valyrian. That was also a part of your lessons. After a while you had started to speak only in high Valyrian with him. Only during the lessons, so he might get a hang of it quicker. If he did not understand a word or needed you to slow down, he told you so. That was, what you had talked about. He should ask you.
He looked at the movement of your lips, nearly staring. His gaze went back to your eyes. “So, you are saying that some of us are able to see the future?”, he had asked. You stop speaking and nod. Magic was in your blood after all. Who knows what else we could do when we were at the hight of our power. “Indeed, we have magic in our blood after all” You gaze at him and saw him swallow. “That is madness” You shook your head and chuckled. “No Ulf that is brilliance”, you corrected him. His eyes had settled back on you. Staring and this time you spoke up. “Why are you gazing at me so intently? It is not like you have not seen my face before”
He looked away, feeling caught. His lips pressed together and he played with his hands. “No…My Princess-Lady I was not starring at you. I…was just…just”, he had rambled. You had laughed and told him that everything was alright and that you should continue with your lesson now.
Stepping outside, fresh air hit your face. You breathed it in deeply. Chilly air filled your lungs, and the wind caressed your cheeks. Taking in another deep breath you close your eyes for a moment. Dragonstone has been quite after what had happened. You still see the sorrow of Rhaenyras eyes. The total helplessness. Opening your eyes you continue your walk. Down towards the shore. The smell of sea enveloping you. Stepping onto the sand you feel it give away with each step you make. Stopping close to the waves that tried to reach farther up the shore. Watching the waves gave you calmness. Your heart started to ache. Jace was somewhere, deep in the sea. Or at least his body or what remained of it.
Your throat tightens and you feel your eyes burning again. This time however the tears do not come.
Gazing into the distance. The sun slowly disappears and the last rais of sunlight touch the sky, colouring the clouds in orange or what you think fire.
You hear footsteps behind you. Having a feeling of who they might be from. “Y/N?” He called out to you. You did not move. Staying as still as a statue. “Y/N please do not...do not do it. It will not bring any good”, he said worriedly. Suddenly he was standing beside you. His grey, white hair falling into his face. You made a grimace. Did he think you were thinking about drowning yourself?
Only now you noticed the water at your feet. Had you gone in further? Or had the water risen higher? You did not know. Strangely you even have forgotten how long you were already standing here. Feeling your cheeks heat up you shake your head. His hands holding onto your arms now. “Ulf I was not trying to do what you were thinking. I was just lost in thought”, you explained. He frowned and was now shaking his head. Without waiting for your allowance, he pulled you away from the water. Surprise flashed over your face when he lifted you up with ease, though he clearly seemed to struggle a little.
“I will not let you drown yourself. That would not do any good to anyone.” Once a good length away from the water he placed you back down. You felt anger rise inside of you and something else. Something like shame. How did he dare! “Ulf! Do I have to scream at the top of my lungs for you to understand? I was not trying to drown myself!”, you half growled.
He lifted his arms in the air and his brows nearly knitted together.
“It damn well looked like it! What in the seven hells where you trying to achieve here?” He looked frustrated now. His lips pushed out and his hands crossing over his chest. Sighing you rub your arms and look to the side. A cold chill running up your feet. Your boots are soaked with water. It was an unpleasant feeling. Looking away from him, towards Dragonstone now you closed your eyes for a second. “Thank you, Ulf. I was so lost in thought, I guess if you would not have come, I would have been standing there till the morrow.” Shame filled you at your confession. You could have gone sick by doing this. Sometimes you really felt like you were out of your mind.
Ulf stopped pouting and a small smile was on his lips. He liked it when he was thanked for his services. Then his face turned serious again. “Were you still thinking about…what has happened with Jace?” You looked at him and nodded. Suddenly he opened his arms and looked at you. “Hug?”, he asked. His voice was shaking a little. Gazing into his eyes you only found kindness in them. No danger.
One hug was fine. It would not hurt anyone.
Slowly and clumsily, you hugged Ulf. His chin resting on your shoulder. His hands on your back, gently stroking up and down. It was a little stiff hug. Unusual for the both of you, however after a while the tension eased. Your head rested against his chest, and you could feel the beating of his heart. It was unusually calming. You could not believe what you were doing right now. Hugging someone who was technically a bastard. Lower than you. Still, he was a dragon rider. And he had proven himself more than once. Ulf was not bad, neither good. He had good and bad qualities about him. Just like everybody else does. His qualities made Ulf into Ulf. His scent filled your nose. Ulf smelled a little like wine but more mint.
“Thank you, Ulf. It helped.”, you whispered against his shoulder before pulling away from his hug. He looked a little disappointed that the hug was over. Way to soon. His eyes gazing to the side for a short moment. Then he lifted his hands to his ears, rubbing his ear like he was a little nervous. “It is always a pleasure My Lady”, he laughed. You gaze one last time at sea and then back at Dragonstone. “Come let us get back. I am hungry and I am sure you are as well” With that you both left the shore behind and went back inside Dragonstone.
Daemon has come back to Dragonstone, and you were informed to fly towards Kingslanding. Well not you and Baela. It was a punishment. You were sure of it. Punishment for what had happened when you had disobeyed the Queens orders. Rhaenyra did not even look at you and Baela. Like she could not bear it when she spoke of what was decided. Daemon, your father, had told you and Baela not to be angry. It was also for your safety. “Y/N I trust you to look over Dragonstone with Baela. You are her older sister and should behave like that. This is not punishment. It is only for your safety.”, your father had assured you. He leaned down kissing your forehead and stroking your hair like he had done when you were little. He cupped Baelas cheek and gave her a smile. Then he turned around and followed his Queen.
Hugh and Ulf were demanded to accompany them to Kingslanding.
Baela has left your side. Wiping away her tears of anger. You had only caught a glimpse of Ulf. He was in his armour. He gave you one last look before leaving. His expression looked grim.
Turning around yourself you searched for your sister. She must be around here somewhere. “Baela?”, you called out for her. No answer. You walked to her chambers and knocked. No answer. You knocked again. “Baela? Can I come in?” No answer. You slowly opened the door and found an empty room. No Baela. Continuing your search, you started to ask the Kingsguard who was still here and some servants if they had seen Baela. Some servant informed you that they had just seen her leaving Dragonstone. Thanking the Servant, you rushed outside. Calling out for her multiple times before you gave up. She was nowhere in sight. Did she hurt herself? Dread filled you. Baela would never think about this right? Still, what if she blames herself too much? Another thought came to your mind. Maybe she flew away on Moondancer. To clear her head. Before thinking you rushed to the Dragonmont. Ready to ride.
The flight had been long.
Gazing at the beautiful Ruby scales of Morghal was always calming. His scales looked fantastical. The scales around the wings were darker, while the wings themselves were lighter. Not that dark. The horns however could be nearly described as black with a tinge of ruby in them. Like dark blood, springled onto it. The neck was as long as Meleys. The snout was large. On the right side of his nose, he had a scar, that went down to his mouth. He had gotten it while fighting with other dragons. Morghal had temper. Just like his rider. On his tail he has spikes, that get smaller the closer they get to his back.
A ride was always able to clear your head. You had flown for hours now. To be honest, you had given up your search for Baela after a day. Deciding to fly around on your own. High up in the sky and out of danger. How many days has it been. Two or three? It was time to fly back to Dragonstone.
When you arrived at the Dragonmont you were already greeted by the worried Kingsguard who had been assigned to take care of you. Morghal retrieved into the darkness of the Dragonmont. The sound of him moving deeper slowly fading. “My Lady, we have worried ourselves to death. Please do not disappear for days again. Or at least inform us about your where abouts.”
You gazed at the Kingsguard and nodded. It had been foolish to fly for such a long time. What would have happened if you meet Vhagar? Surely it would have turned into a battle. A battle you are not sure if you would win? Morghal was big. Really big for his age. Bigger and longer in size than Syrax even. Close to Caraxes size. This was only because your dragon hated to sleep in the Dragonmont. He preferred to sleep outside in the wild. Only when he felt like it, he went into the Dragonmont. The Dragonkeepers had told you once that if a Dragon has enough space to grow, he will, the larger and opener the space the faster he does so.
“Is Baela here?”, you asked the Kingsguard. They shook their heads. Someone had gotten a letter from the Seasnake. She was at Driftmark and helped Adam there. At least she was safe. With a sigh you left for your chambers. Dragonstone seemed oddly empty. Jaces face came to your mind again when you reached the great hall. He had often stood there, learning High Valyrian. Trying his best to be a good Prince. You felt a stab in your heart and left the hall behind.
***
Ulf had been through every tavern he had known. Drinking with his old friends. Showing of to them. Paying their drinks with a smile. He did it. Ulf the nobody finally became somebody. Someone who was able to finally help his friends out of misery. Or was he somebody? After drinking and drinking he could not push one thought out of his mind. You.
How are you doing?
He has not heard anything new from you since he had arrived at Kingslanding.
It made him feel conflicted. He was never one to lie to himself. Ulf knew that for someone like him, someone like you was out of reach. But where you out of reach? He was Ser Ulf the white now. A knight. He even had a dragon, Silverwing. He has proven himself loyal repeatedly. So, were you out of reach for him?
At first Ulf had found you were annoying. Kicking him out of bed when all he needed was more sleep because his head was throbbing from last night’s drinking. However, the determination in your eyes had touched something within him. Something he could not explain at first. The way you have been patient with him. Not once did you mock him for his parentage. You were calm and wise. Teaching him everything you knew with patients and grace. He found himself liking you. You had been the only one who did not attack him, like Jace had done, while he was only trying to enjoy himself and have a good time.
You talked with him and the two of you were able to build some kind of respect for each other. He knew you were not fond of his jokes; however, he was not able to help himself. Ulf always knew he was a fool however he wanted to be more than a fool. He felt like a fool every time he had tried to make you laugh with one of his horrible jokes. Even the slightest twitch of your lips was mesmerizing. Something he had started to grave. When he had managed to make you laugh during one of your lessons together, he had felt proud. Your mismatched eyes gazing at him. Your lilac and Y/E/C eyes were magical. He had never seen something like this before.
He gazes into his drink. Watching the liquid ripple.
A sour mood had befallen him.
His cheek and jaw still ached a little.
Last night Daemon had stopped him from entering his new assigned sleeping room. He was standing right in front of the door waiting for him. His eyes gazing at him like a predator watching his prey. Ulf was not sure what Daemon was to him. He guesses that they are half-brothers however he is not sure about that.
Daemon had confronted him about you.
“I know what you are thinking. How you act around my daughter. Let me tell you something, you will never ever get closer to her again. Do you understand me?”, he had asked him. His voice laden with rage. Daemons eyes shined with fire in them and Ulf had lifted his hands up in the air. Daemon grabbed his tunic and pushed him against the wall. “Your Grace, please I would never touch Y/N in any…” Before Ulf could finish his sentence, he tasted Daemons fist. More than once. When he was done with him, he let him slide to the ground and left Ulf there.
In that moment, Ulf had known that he had lied.
First, he had already touched you more than once. At first only your shoulders and then a few days ago before he had left, he had hugged you to comfort you. It had felt good even though you were a little stiff at first. Second, he was thinking about you. It troubled him. Troubled him to his core. He had started to care for you more than he was willing to accept. You had become something he could stand on. A solid ground that would never break away beneath him.
A bitter laugh nearly escaped his throat in the middle of the tavern. His friends already drunk to their core. Not noticing that Ulf was struggling.
The day you had opened his chamber doors only to find him already awake he knew. Knew that he liked you more than he should. That’s why he had woken on his own. To prove to you that he was interested. That he was willing to learn and do something. The smile on your face had been delighting. He had tried his hardest to listen to your words however his gaze had always gone down to your lips. Gazing at them with fascination. He loved your lips. They way they moved and looked like when they formed a smile on your face.
Ulf was never a romantic. Here and there he had slept with some woman but that was only for pleasure. Never for love. He was not aware that he was even able to feel such feelings. He never wanted something like this. What could he give a wife and possible children when he himself had nothing?
The situation since then has changed drastically.
He was able to pay things now.
A knight and a dragon rider.
Ulf was not the youngest anymore. He was aware of that. More than he liked to admit. That is why he had tried not to make it to obvious that he was attracted to you. The fact that you were a grown woman, already in her 20s did not change the fact that there was a big age gap between the two of you. He was nearly as old as your father.
Still, no matter how hard he tried not to think about you he could not stop it. You were everywhere. He imagined how your lips would taste. How soft they would be when he kissed them. What sounds you would make when he would press himself against you and show you how much he wanted you. He had needs after all. Sometimes he felt like an animal. He was no animal though. He had needs and itches that needed to be taken care of. That was all. Well not anymore. These feelings were maddening. He wanted you. As much as he wanted to drink and enjoy his wine.
No wonder Daemon had noticed. Maybe he was not as careful as he believed he was.
He wished he could see you again. Look upon your beauty. What if he could…Ulf did not let himself finish that thought. This was foolish. More than foolish. His desire and feelings for you were all that. He was a fool. The biggest of them all. And that for you.
A sigh left his lips, and he gazed at his nearly drunk passed out friends. He had to do more important things than to think about you. He had to talk with the Queen. His friends needed help and help they would get. Before leaving a thought came to his mind. He could write you a letter. That was a wonderful idea. A letter for you. With that he said goodbye to his friends and left for the Red Keep.
***
A week has passed since all have left. You have tried you best to keep everything in order and check. Baela has been away at Driftmark most of the time. You do not blame her. Knowing she needs the time for herself. She did lose her betrothed after all. Jace was so much for so many of you. Every time you gazed at Baela and him you knew. They really were fond of each other. So, she lost someone she loved, loved differently than you had loved Jace. He had been more like a brother to you.
Baela and you have exchanged letters. Assuring her that she can talk with you about it.
She did. It broke your heart what your sister had written to you. What saddened you more was that you could not hold her in your arms. Comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright again. However, she did not come back to Dragonstone, and you had a feeling she did not want you to come see her. “My lady, a letter has arrived for you”, a Maester called. You snapped out of your thoughts and took the letter from his hands. It had the seal of house Targaryen on it and was unbroken. The Maester left and you were alone. Curious what news might come from Kingslanding you broke the seal and started reading.
Lovely Y/N
It has been a while since we last have seen each other. I hope you are doing alright and smile a lot. Hope the food tastes as delicious as it tasted when I was still there. I am sure it is not easy for you right now. What am I even writing here. Forgive me I know you struggled so much with the loss of Jace. Please do not blame yourself. It does not suit you to look so sad all the time, you are way too beautiful for that. No that was way to honest. Forget it. No do not forget it. You are indeed very beautiful. What I am trying to bring down here on this paper is, that I hope you are doing alright and are in good health. I am doing alright for now. Though I miss your presence very much. Yes, and I do hope, no I want us to see each other again soon.
Ulf
A smile spread on your face. Ulf. Always the one with words. Always. A soft chuckle left your lips.
If he had wanted to make you smile, he clearly had achieved his goal. He was thinking about you, and you could not explain it, however it made you feel happy. Your smile grew bigger when you wrote an answer.
Dear Ulf,
Thank you for worrying about me. I am doing fine and I am indeed in good health. Everything is running smoothly on Dragonstone, and the food tastes the same. Though I cannot deny that your company had made it taste even better. Being here alone is not funny though. Baela has left Dragonstone and is now at Driftmark. Adam comes here from time to time, though he mostly resides at Driftmark. You can say I am all alone and honestly bored. I do my duty and guard Dragonstone. Still, I wish I had pleasant company. Better company then the Maesters and Kingsguards. Did you know that most of them do not have a sense of humour? It is like they are stone statues when I tell them a joke to lighten up the mood and they do not react at all. Or are my jokes just bad? Well, I hope you are doing fine and are in good health. Who knows maybe we will see each other soon.
Y/N
With a smile you sealed the letter closed and wrote his name on the back of the letter. You put it on a Raven and then let the Raven fly towards Kingslanding.
As the weeks passed Ulf and you had exchanged more letters. He did inform you that your jokes were bad and it had made you laugh. Ulf was honest. Always speaking what was on his mind. Your mood has improved significantly over the weeks you have been corresponding with Ulf. It was like he was here with you. Telling you his awful funny jokes and making you smile. You often caught yourself waiting for a new letter. It was tortures when you wanted to know so badly what answers he would give you and what questions he would ask you next.
Today was one of those days. You waited patiently for one of the letters. Just a few days ago you had sent him one. Written what was beating in your heart. Saying that you wished he was here with you and that you could laugh with him about his jokes. That letter you had send was maybe a little bold. Bolder than the others you had send him. His had grown bolder as well. A warm feeling crept up your cheeks and you bite your lips. Was it bold asking him how he would feel if you hugged him in this very moment? Was it bold to ask him what he would do if you kissed his cheek? Was it bold to ask him if he would enjoy gazing at you again? What would he do if you were with him alone in room?
The questions have grown deeper. The compliments funnier but also serious. He started to call you, my star. Telling you that you were the first thing he was thinking about in the morning and the last thing when he fell asleep. Even during the day, he could not stop thinking about you. It had troubled and still troubles him deeply. He openly tells you about his thoughts. That he does not think he is a worthy person of your attention. However, you assure him that he indeed is worthy.
After you had told him that in one of your letters his words have grown more confident.
“A letter- “, before the Maester could finish his words you snatched the letter he was carrying out of his hands. He tilted his head and scoffed at your behaviour. Leaving and mumbling something about respect under his breath.
Immediately breaking the seal, you read what is written in the letter. Stopping when you find, this is not Ulfs dirty handwriting. It is your fathers.
Y/N I want you to come to Kingslanding. We need you here.
Daemon
As clear as ever. A sigh left your lips, but you could not stop the smile that was forming. Very well, time to head for Kingslanding.
Kingslanding has not changed a bit since the last time you had been here. Especially not the smell. Morghal flew high above the city. From up here you could see the smallfolk going on their daily lives. Maybe Ulf was down there somewhere. In one of the Taverns. He had told you about it in one of his letters. Saying he enjoyed spending time with his friends there. They are kind, he said. Surely, they would love you and love to meet you. He at least wished to introduce you to them. That was something you were hesitant of. They were still of the smallfolk. Maybe they were kind, but you still felt a little uneasy.
Instead of landing in the Dragonpit you landed on top of one of the walls of the Red Keep. Knights screamed orders however stopped once they saw who it was. “My Lady” One of them bowed deeply once he saw you. You moved down from Morghal and found yourself standing in front of a gold cloak. When he looked up you could see the kindness in his eyes. “I am Ser Luthor, your father, his grace has ordered me to bring you to him. Please follow me My Lady” He turned around and started to walk. He seemed trustworthy. Telling your dragon to stay put you followed Ser Luthor.
While walking next to Ser Luthor you asked him all kinds of questions. How is everyone feeling? How it has been? If everyone was alright? He answered all your questions. He had a kind smile on his lips when he told you proudly that he had helped your father clean out the Hightower scum. Their blood had been flowing deliciously on the floor.
On your way up the stairs, you smiled at Ser Luthor. Finding he indeed was kind. No wonder your father seemed to like him. He is a loyal man. When you reached the top of the stairs you found yourself face to face with, Ulf.
Ulf gazed at you and Ser Luthor. Looking like he had just bitten in a lemon. A sour look on his face.
“Ser Ulf the White”, Ser Luthor greeted him.
Ulf blinked but before you could greet him as well, he bowed and moved to the side. Avoiding your eyes. “Ser Luthor” Whatever Ulf had; it was a problem you will figure out soon. Not now though. Finally, you reached the great council chamber and were led inside. Daemon already waiting for you. His back was showing towards you, and he gazed outside the window. “Father”, you greeted him.
“Thank you, Ser Luthor, you may leave now”, Daemon said.
Ser Luthor bowed and then left. Closing the door behind him.
Your father still did not turn around, and a strange feeling was rushing through your heart. Something was wrong. “Father, why did you send for me?”, you asked him.
After a while, that felt like forever he turned around. A piece of paper in his hands. Your eyes widened when you saw the paper. It looked like someone crushed it and opened it up multiple times. “Do you want to tell me something?” His voice was dangerous low and had a scolding tone to it. You swallowed. This was not good. He was pissed.
When you said nothing, Daemon sighed. “Y/N, please do not tell me you are so foolish to believe that Ulf has feelings for you? Do not tell me you have been foolish enough to develop feelings for him?”, he asked. You looked away. Nails digging in your palms. He has read the letter. A feeling of shame spread through you. That letter had not been meant for him. It had been meant for Ulf. It was Ulfs letter. For Ulfs eyes only.
A frustrated sigh left Daemon, and he threw the paper onto the table. Rubbing his arms and walking around through the room. “Daughter, we are the blood of the dragon. He is not good enough for you. Nor is he the one you should think about. The feelings you have are just the ones of youth. They will go away and soon you will meet a Lord that is suited for you. Perfect for your status and grace”
Daemon was looking at you and still moved around the room like a cat ready to bounce.
“I wish only what is best for you. For all of you. Baela, Rheana and you, Y/N. The life of a royal are not easy ones”
He stops and walks up towards you. Cupping your cheeks in his hands and kissing your forehead. “You are important. Please do not make more trouble. I cannot take more trouble. I already have many problems on my plate”, he whispered. You gazed up at him and nodded. Shame and anger filling you at the same time. In that moment the door opened again, and Ser Luthor shoved Ulf inside. Ulfs eyes were wide and he looked at Daemon in horror. Ser Luthor left and the air changed. Ladden with rage or rather fire. “You!” Daemon removed himself from you and immediately bolted towards Ulf. Ulf was faster though and managed to keep distance from Daemon with the table between them. Daemon growled angry and took an empty cup on the council table to throw at Ulf who was trying his hardest to stay out of reach from Daemon. “How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from my daughter? She is noble blood, you are not. When will you get that in your head?”, Daemon scolded. Throwing another cup at Ulf.
Surprisingly he managed to dodge every object thrown at him.
Like he had done this before.
“Your grace- please forgive me. I am a fool I know. You have called me that many times. Even tried to punch sense into me”, Ulf nearly screamed. Deamon glared daggers at him from the other side of the table. Looking like he wanted to have Ulfs head on a spike.
“I know we have discussed this often. More often than I would have liked the last couple of days. But you cannot deny that Y/N is a beauty that needs to be cherished and loved. She is so breathtakingly beautiful that I have trouble breathing when she is near. How can it be my blame when she says I am funny and that she loves my awful jokes?”, Ulf rambled. His gaze sweeping shortly over the table. Eyes widening when he finds the piece of paper lying on it. A frown forming on his face.
Daemon uses the moment and jumps on the table. Surprising Ulf and you by tackling him from the table. Ulf lets out a squeak. “Father!”, you call out. Rushing to the other side of the table to find the two-man rolling around on the floor. Daemon has his hands around Ulfs neck and Ulf tries to force Daemon off him. Kicking his legs.
“Leave my daughter alone!” You looked around the room panicked. On the council table was still one cup left. Honestly why are there so many cups on this table? You grabbed it, finding liquid still within. Without thinking you poured the liquid over Daemon and Ulf.
“You are forbidden to talk with each other. If I find one letter or you Ulf gazing at Y/N I will have your head. Did I make myself clear?” Daemon looked at the both of you. This would probably be the last time you were sitting next to each other. Ulfs hair was still wet from the wine you had poured on him and Daemon. Daemons hair was wet too.
A sigh left Daemons lips and he rubbed his eyes. He probably felt like he was only surrounded by children.
Father Daemon and the children of Kingslanding.
“Now out of my sight” Daemon waved his hands and you sprung up immediately. Ulf following close behind. “Y/N” You stopped at the door while Ulf rushed outside. “Ser Luthor will show you your chamber.” You nodded and turned around to leave. Daemon now alone in the council chamber. His gaze going outside the window again.
Sitting on your new bed was, odd.
This chamber was strange. You are now officially at home in Kingslanding now. How on earth did that happen so fast?
Your chamber was beautiful was. Rich and lavish. No doubt. However, making you feel at home? No, not really. You cannot lie. You loved the luxury of it. The comfort. It did not fulfil all your desires and wishes. Lying down you gazed at the ceiling. This was horrible. Everything was a total mess, and this was only the start of it. From what you have gathered, Alicent was still here. Otto however has been decapitated by Rhaenyra herself. It was done after they had arrived. It was bloody.
A knock startled you. Before you could sit up the door opened and closed hurriedly. When you finally sat upright you found Ulf starring at you. “I had to see you” His eyes looked at yours before moving over your form. A warmth in them that made your heartbeat faster. “Ulf! What are you doing here? How did you get passed the guard? Forgive me but do you want to die? You have heard my fathers’ words!”, you lowly screamed. He lifted his hands and lowered them.
Signalling you to not be too loud.
Madness. This was madness.
“I have sneaked in while the guards changed. It always takes a while for the other guard to take their place in front of the door. I have watched it many times.” A smile forming on his lips. Spreading his arms wide he walks over to you, pulling you into a tight hug and lifting you of the ground. “How I have missed you!”, he cheered. You are enveloped by his scent, and he smells a lot like wine. At least his hair does. He puts you down but does not pull away from you. Your own arms slowly wrapping around him. His warmth enveloping you. That was exactly what you needed right now.
“I have missed you too”, you whisper. Calming in his hold.
He chuckled softly. Moving his head so he could look at you. His eyes holding your gaze. “I thought you have grown tired of me. When I did not receive an answer, I was heartbroken. If I had known that Daemon, had it, I would not have sulked so much. Would not have drunken much more and…I would not have felt jealous when seeing you with Ser Luthor”, he confessed. Your eyes widened and Ulf smirked down at you. His hand going to the back of your head. Playing with your hair. Kneading your scalp.
He was jealous? That’s why he had this sour look on his face.
You lifted your hand and for the first time ever touched his cheek. His beard tickling the palm of your skin. “I would never tire of you” Your eyes gazing deeply into his. Stroking his cheek softly. He hummed and placed his hand over yours. A happy smile spreading across his face.
Suddenly he leaned closer, kissing you. It was short and it was hurried but it had been there. His lips had touched yours. Leaving the taste of wine on your lips. He had taken you by surprise. Ulf himself seemed surprised by his actions. “Forgive me, I should not have kissed you” He wanted to pull out of your hold, but you did not let him. Instead, you grabbed him by the collar of his tunic and pulled him towards you, crashing your lips onto his. Moving your lips slowly against his, coaxing him to open his mouth open for you. He was stiff for a short moment, recovering quickly. His arms were around you again. Pressing you against his body. His hands stayed on your waist, before moving lower to cup your ass and squeeze your flesh. Your tongue darted out and you licked over his lips greedily. The taste of wine filled your mouth increasingly. It was like you were drinking it from him. A pleasant shiver ran down your spine. Ulf opened his mouth for you, letting your tongue inside. Your tongue fights with his.
Ulf gives in early. Letting your tongue explore his mouth while he is more focused on playing with your bum.
Gasps leave your mouth, getting muffled inside his. You must be careful. If you are getting too loud you might get caught.
Ulfs hips rubbed against yours. Searching for friction. A bulge starting to form in his breeches. Slowly he guided you towards your bed. Breaking the kiss, you breath in deeply. Your mismatched eyes gazing into his. His pupils are blown wide and you see what he intends on doing.
Before he reaches the bed, you spin the two of you around and throw him onto it. Ulf makes a surprised sound. He does not look displeased though. Instead, his eyes gazed at you with desire and fascination. “My Star”, he mumbled. You crawled on top of him and took a hold of his wrists, pinning them above his head. Your legs on either side of his hips. You could feel his now well hardened erection beneath you. Pressing up against your clothed core. Still holding his wrists in your hands, you lowered your head towards his, pressing kisses against his lips. Soft groans left his throat. His hips bucking upwards to gain more friction.
“Ulf” He kissed you, stopping you from finishing your sentences. His arms moved, trying to free themselves but you did not let him.
“Ulf, we cannot have sex”, you whispered against his lips. His movements stopped and he lowered his head back onto the sheets, gazing up at you with confusion. “Why not?” His hands tightened beneath your grip, while his hips buck upwards teasingly. He was trying to change your mind. You shook your head. “It is too dangerous. I might get pregnant. However, we can do other things to pleasure ourselves”, you whispered.
Your own hips rolling teasingly against his.
A loud moan escapes his mouth.
You look at him alarmed and listen.
Your heart pounds wildly in your chest and you pray the knight in front of your door did not hear it. Ulfs eyes were wide as well when he realised what he had just done.
Waiting a while longer you hear nothing. Relieved you remove your hand from Ulfs mouth and pin his free wrist again. “Try to be silent” He nodded and you continued your movements. Ulf bit his lips beneath you. Rubbing his clothed cock against your clothed core. After a while both of you were struggling to hold back moans. Your breathing turning heavier the higher the pleasure got. Kissing was the only option to muffle your sounds, at least a little.
“Hells I am close!”, Ulf moaned against your lips. His hips snapping upwards against you. Your hips pressed down, your own orgasm approaching. Waves of pleasure filled your body from inside out. Making everything else unimportant. He was the only thing that mattered right now.
Ulf manages to free his hands and gets a hold of your hips. Helping you grinding down against him. “Fuck Y/N” Ulf cursed against your lips and a low groan spilled from his own. His hips stilling while he pressed you tightly against him. His body moving beneath yours before calming down after a while. His breath still heavy he opened his eyes, that fell shut when he had cum inside his breeches. “That was hot” He smirked up at you, and you chuckled.
Your pussy still clenched and throbbed. You had not reached your high yet.
Ulf stroked your hair and gave you a kiss. Noticing the frown on your face. “What is it my star?” He twirled a strand of your hair around his finger. His eyes watching you closely. “I have not cum yet”, you tell him. Ulf leans closer and smiles. “I can change that.” With that he turns the two of you around and gets to work. Making you see stars behind your eyes. Worshipping you with his tongue while holding your mouth closed. You were way to loud. The whole castle might have heard you if he did not shut your mouth. A pleased expression on his face when he had made you cum on his tongue.
Since then, his visits have become more frequent. Every change Ulf got to visit you in your chamber he took.
You both pleasured yourself in many ways. Sometimes you just talked and cuddled.
When Ulf had a rough day, he would tell you about it. The way Rhaenyra had refused to give favours to his friends. How he found the words, Queen of Bastards written on some walls in the streets of Kingslanding. He also told you about Daemon slapping him when he said something either foolish or honest to his face.
You lay on his chest, or he rested on your thighs in moments like this. It was comforting. Safe.
A safe place for the two of you.
“Ulf you have to choose your words more wisely”, you had informed him one night. He was resting on your belly while you stroked his head. A soft smile on your lips. “I do not want my father to have your head one day if he has enough of your nonsense” He sighed and rubbed his cheek against your belly. “And do not call Rhaenyra the Queen of Bastards in her face, would you? It was foolish of you. You are lucky she did not take your tongue for this”, you had told him. His hands took a hold of your hips, and he looked up into your eyes. “But it is the truth. Her sons were bastards.” You narrowed your eyes at him.
Stroking his hair you looked into his eyes. “Yes, and so are you.” He rolls his eyes and moves upwards kissing your lips. “I know, I never said I was not.”
Days like this were rare. Him and you in each other’s arms.
You tried your best to avoid each other during the day. Your father watched over the both of you like a hawk. Only seeing Ulf briefly on your way to the council chambers when you were summoned.
Today was one of those days.
Walking towards the council chambers you passed by Ulf. He could not hide a small twitch of his lips when he had passed by you and moved a little to close on purpose. His hand brushing past yours. Just last night he had made you sing his name. You remember it clearly. Bringing you close to your madness.
The stolen moments you shared had only grown more intense. Having seen each other naked more than once now. At first Ulf was a little worried. He was older after all, but you did not bother. You liked him. That was all that mattered. You had even managed to bathe together once. It was pleasant. Though you had to be more careful. The last few weeks you two nearly crossed the line. You were careful but in the heat of the moment you both nearly lost it. He had nearly pushed inside you more than once. Managing to pull away at the last second. You both had to be more careful. You knew that and yet you could not stay away from each other.
Entering the council chamber, you found Rhaenyra standing there. Daemon at her side with Hugh. They talked about Tumbleton. There will be a battle. “Y/N, I wish you to stay here in Kingslanding and watch over everything.”, Rhaenyra told you. Looking into your eyes. It was the first time she had done so after a long while. You swallowed. How will you be able to take care of a Kingdom? This is way too much. Deep inside you a flame came to life. No, you could do this. “I will do my best, your Grace.” Rhaenyra nodded and then looked to Daemon. Both sharing glances. “Good, your first duty will be to patrol the sky’s. We need to make sure the skies are safe before we fly to Tumbleton.”, the Queen informed you.
Then she dismissed you. Leaving the council chamber behind you felt proud.
Taking to the sky’s was always magnificent. It did not matter how often you did it.
Morghals wings spread wide. He was in a good mood today. You tried to focus on the task at hand however your thoughts always went back to Ulf. This night might be the last night in a while where you will see each other. You must make the best out of it.
***
Ulf was walking through the halls of the Red Keep when he heard hurried steps behind him. He turned around to find Rhaenyra rushing past him. “Your Grace.” He bowed his head. She greeted him but did not look at him. She had already informed him about the upcoming battle of Tumbleton. That’s all she needs him for.
Ulf watched her figure disappear and an angry feeling that had been in his heart for a while now, started to flame alive. He was just a tool. A tool to use and throw away afterwards. Nothing more. He would have left Kingslanding behind already were it not…for you.
You were the only thing that made him stay.
Even though he was treated like shit; he stayed because of you. Every slap from Daemon he took and said nothing. Because of you. You were the only thing that kept his mood up, even the wine could not dull it as good as you. You were his only hope. His star in the darkness.
His thoughts go back to last night. He nearly had you. Nearly pushed you far enough to make you take him. He feels a little ashamed however he cannot wait any longer. He wants you. Badly. He already knows every inch of your body. How you taste like and by the gods do you taste divine. He could spend hours between your legs and feast on you. He was a man gone mad. Mad for your love. He wanted to be inside you. Finally connect and bind you to him. He wished to marry you. To call you, his wife. And someday call you the mother to his children. He did not care that the others saw him as a low born bastard. Daemon made sure to remind him of that often. He has proven himself. He was worthy of your hand. Ulf was worthy.
He walked towards the training ground. Today he needed to train. It was his duty after all.
When he reached it. He was the first one there. Strangely enough. Normally the master at arms was here before him. With a sigh he leaned against the wall. Waiting. His thoughts go back to you as usual. Your mismatched eyes not leaving him. It was like you were haunting him. Normally he hated haunting things. Just like this weird witch. What was she called again? He shook his head. It was luckily one encounter. Only one. Not important at all. He hated to admit it, but he loved you haunting him.
When he heard footsteps nearing, he was surprised when he found Daemon approaching him. “Your Grace.”, he greeted him.
Daemon nodded. He looked unusually tense. His hands balled into fists and resting on the hilt of his sword. “Ser Ulf, we need to have a word.”, Daemon said calmy. To calm for Ulfs liking. He knew this tone. This tone was one out of Ulfs nightmares. He will beat him again. Ulf is sure of it.
“Your Grace, what is the matter?” Ulf looked at Daemon who started to smirk at him. Ulf hated that smirk. It was the one of a predator that will soon bounce on his prey. Daemon drew his sword and pointed the tip at Ulf. “Draw your sword Ser.” Ulf did. His heart pounding against his rips. He swallowed. Daemon charged at him. Not holding back with each blow of his sword. Ulf tried his best to block each attack; however, Daemon was much more skilled and fiercer.
Every clash of their swords resonated with Ulfs bones.
He hated this. This fight felt like it was something more than just training.
Daemon was not a fair fighter. He kicked Ulf with his feet. Causing Ulf to fall onto the ground and lose his sword. Daemon pressed the tip of his sword against Ulfs throat. Pressing the cold metal against his skin. “I should kill you.”, Daemon growled. His eyes gleaming into Ulf with fire. Ulf was totally defenceless and lying on the ground. In the dirt. Ironically, he felt like he belonged there. In the dirt. He felt useless. Daemon removed his sword and instead of letting Ulf get up he punched him into his face. The taste of blood filled Ulfs mouth. His lip bleeding. “Are you not ashamed of yourself? You never seem to learn Ulf! Never! She is my daughter! Did you really think I would not notice what the two of you were doing behind my back? You are a fool Ulf! She will never be yours! You are a bastard! A Dragonseed! You are not worthy of my daughter’s hand, and you nearly ruined her! I should gift her your head. But I will not. The Queen needs you and your dragon. If I see you with her one more time, I cannot promise anything. Then you will be dead Ulf!”, Daemon threatened.
Ulf just lies there on the ground. Gazing up at Daemon.
His heart ached. Not worthy of you.
It felt like someone was stabbing him. “Though it will do you good to get punched. Maybe if I beat you up again, you will finally understand.”
With that Daemon punched Ulf repeatedly.
When he was finished Ulf was bruised and bloodied all over. Gazing numbly up the sky. His heart ached. His body ached. Ulf was in so much pain he could not even cry. There was something else. Something that dulled the ache inside his heart. It was not you. It was warmer, burning. It was anger. The fire that slowly started to burn inside his heart now roared. It was a storm that ate everything inside. He would no longer take this treatment. He did not care anymore. He had nothing to lose anyway.
A sharp pain ran through his body when he thought about you. Daemons beating had been too much for him. He had enough of this bullshit. “Forgive me Y/N.”, he mumbled to himself.
Standing up, he brushed the dirt of his clothes. He had enough.
***
When you had returned to the Red Keep, they were already gone. Rhaenyra, Daemon and Ulf. They had flown to Tumbleton. There was no time to waist. Now you were alone with Misaryia, Alicent and Helaena. Alicent and Helaena were prisoners. Still, you visited them. Mostly for Helaena. You liked her. She did not deserve what has been happening to her. To her poor boy.
Helaena looked at you and gave you a pained smile. “Do you miss Ser Ulf?”, she asked you. You gazed at her in surprise. Alicent was luckily not in the room with you two. You blinked and then smiled at Helaena. “I do not know what you mean.” You tried to hide it. There is no way she knows that you and Ulf have some kind of relationship. She tilts her head and presses her lips together. “He will betray them.”, she said. You lifted your gaze back to hers. Confusion spreading through your body. Does she know something you do not. “He will feel guilty after wards, drowning his sorrow in wine.” Your brows knit together. Fear settling in your belly. Helaena looked like she was telling the truth. You bite your lip, not able to accept what she had just said.
“Helaena, are you sure? How can you know? Have you spoken to him?”, you ask her. She blinks and shakes her head. Gazing out the window. Her chest rising and sinking. Playing with her fingers.
Alicent entered the room. Making it hard for you to ask Helaena more questions.
That night when you left for your chambers you felt uneasy. This was not true right? Ulf would never betray you?
Yes, he was a fool and a coward sometimes, but he was also kind and honest.
Loyal. Loyal to those he cared about.
Cold fear spread through your body. What if he did? He could have play pretend all the time. Playing a version of Ulf that did not exist to get what he wanted. You swallowed and when you had reached your chambers you could not sleep. No, Helaena could not know. There is no way she could know. Right?
A ball of fear has settled in your stomach. Sleep barely finding you.
The next few days, no news came from Tumbleton.
No news was good news, right?
That was till you received a letter from Tumbleton. It was written in Daemons handwriting. The Dragonseeds, Hugh Hammer and Ulf the White had betrayed the blacks and are now on the side of the greens. You were to send urgent news to Dragonstone and Driftmark. When you read the letter again your heart broke into pieces.
Betrayal.
You did, as you were told a feeling of numbness has overcome you.
Somehow you found yourself in the gardens later. No idea how you came here. Rhaenyra and Daemon are to return to Kingslanding and will be back soon. They must lick their wounds and gather back their strength. Here on the bench, you starred at the tree. Ulf has betrayed you. Why? The lump was thick in your throat. The pain you felt horrible. It hurt so bad. You wanted to claw your heart out right there.
Suddenly someone sat down next to you. With a blurry vision you gazed to the side. Tears streaming down your face. Helaenas face filled your blurry vision. Her gaze calm. Wiping away your tears you gazed away from her. Like she did not know what to do she clumsily placed her hand on her shoulder. “There is still a change…for you and him.” Her voice was calm. You breathed in deeply and shook your head. Why does it hurt so much? She did not stop gazing at you. “You must leave for him today. Only then you can be together. But it also has a price.” You look at her. Your eyes burning like fire. Her eyes looked strangely calming in this moment. Like she knew exactly how this moment will turn out. “You will have nothing except him and your dragons.” Her head tilted to the side. A small smile on your face. “Are you willing to pay this price Y/N?”, she asked.
You swallow.
Nothing. Left with nothing.
You are aware what she means with that. No gold, no lavish food, no bed to sleep in. All the comfort you have grown up with will be gone. Like it had never existed. Never. You swallowed the lump in your throat.
You loved Ulf. That is why it hurt so much.
You loved him. You wanted to be with him. Your heart ached painfully.
Gazing at Helaena, you already knew the answer. The luxuries were meaningless without him. Worth nothing.
“Yes, I am.”
You had thanked Helaena and left her in the gardens. She had looked happy and sad at the same time. You would pray for her. She was the only pure soul around here. Gathering everything you needed. Some coins from your chambers, a leather bag, blankets and more. With that in hand you had left the Red Keep. Calling for Morghal. He came immediately. His ruby scales the first thing you noticed in the sky. The sun was at its Zenith. “We are going to leave.” Your Dragon snorted. His wise eyes gazing into yours. “We are going to find the man that I love and knock some senses into him.”, you whispered against his scales. Everything packed onto his saddle and secured you ready for taking off. “My lady! Where are you going?”, a Kingsguard called out. You only gazed at him. Saying nothing. Morghal took off into the skies. Leaving The Red Keep and Kingslanding behind. Forever. You looked at it for one last time. Watching as it disappeared into the distance. The sun colouring it fire like. You gazed ahead and sighed. Time to look forward and hopefully find the fool of a man still alive.
When you reached Tumbleton it was dead in the night. The smell of smoke was still in the air. You had landed in the woods. Making sure none saw you. Telling Morghal to stay alert you made your way towards the smoking Tumbleton. A hod hiding your face. In the sky you could see a few tents outside of Tumbleton. They looked like they have been placed here recently. You also saw Silverwing from the sky. She was sleeping but she surely must have sensed your presence.
Laughter filled your ears when you made your way through the small aisle between the tents. Where could he be? Surely somewhere drinking. You recall Helaenas words. He would drown his sorrows with wine. Great. It smelled like wine everywhere.
You decided to listen. Keeping your ear open for everything. Trying to avoid the drunk man as best as possible. “The whore will lose this war!”, some drunk man cheered. You tried to pay them no mind. They entered a tent. Cheering some more. “Ser Ulf! You are the best! Deceiving the Queen of Bastards was a very smart move!”, the man cheered. You halted your steps. Ulf? You could not believe it. He was here. Ulf was here. You needed him to get out of here. There was more noise, but you could not understand what they were saying. Then they left the tent again. Slowly you approached and entered.
On the table were cups of wine. Some spilled some still full. And playing with his wine on the other side of the table you found Ulf. He looked like a mess. Dirty. Sulking like usual. Slowly you approached him. He did not react to you at all. Like he was not even realising you were there.
“Ulf?”, you whispered. Standing before him, he lifted his head.
His expression looking pained. “By the gods. They are punishing me now by making me see you”, he mumbled. His eyes looked reddened. Like he had cried. Taking a sip from his wine, he touched you by your hips and pulled you closer. The scent of wine enveloping you. His face pressing against your belly. “I am a fool Y/N. Please forgive me.”, he mumbled. His hands stroking up and down your sides. “This is just a stupid vision. You are not here. You are in Kingslanding. Sleeping in your bed. Without me.”
You wanted to knock him back to his senses. Seems like he has already lost them to a point where you fear he would not be normal again.
Your fingers stroked his head. You needed to get him out of here. There was no time of starting a fight with him now.
“Come, follow me Ulf.” You pulled at him. Urging him to stand up. Luckily, he did without complaint. Pulling him with you, you made your way back to the woods. Making sure no one sees you. Ulf could not keep his hands off you. Mumbling something about you being real for a vision. He has totally lost it. Why do you love him again?
When you reached the woods, he started to get confused. “Where are you leading me?” His voice was full of worry. Deeper you led him. Suddenly he grabbed your shoulders and pressed you against a tree. Your hod falling from your face. A knife pressed against your throat. You looked at him, horrified. His eyes widened. Ulfs breath went faster. “Y/N?”, he whispered.
You did not dare to move. His knife was still at your throat. “Yes. Would you please remove that from me?” Without hesitation he threw the knife away. Kissing you. His lips moving urgently against yours. His tongue pushing into your mouth. The taste of wine filling your mouth. His hands get a hold of your hips, pressing you flush against him. His bulge pressing against his breeches. Your hands moved to his breeches, opening them hurriedly. You have missed him. Missed this. “You are real!”, he groaned. His own hands started to remove your breeches. With the same urgency. His lips were all over you. “I do not deserve this”, he whispered against your skin.
Kissing every inch of your face and neck. Your breeches were now pulled down but not of your body completely. Ulf dived between your legs and you spread them as best as you could in this position. Liking up and down your folds. His tongue playing and circling with your clit. Moans leave your mouth. Your head falls back against the tree, and you close your eyes. This time you could be as loud as you wanted. Let the whole world hear who you belonged to. You did not care anymore. All that matter was him and you. His fingers dig into your thighs but not tight enough to bruise. Just to hold you.
Hold you and worship you.
His tongue circled around your entrance now. Teasing your hole. “Fuck how I love your taste”, he moaned. His tongue plunging inside of you. A moan leaves you when you look down and find him already gazing up at you. The movements of his tongue brought you to the edge. Sucking and drinking. That was what he was doing. Slurping sounds filled your ears. He was so skilled with his tongue. You needed more. Your hands went to his head, and you tightened your thighs around him. “Fuck Ulf!”, you screamed. A groan resonated in his throat. Making your pussy clench around his tongue.
Your eyes rolled back into your head, and you could not hold back any longer. “Ulf!”, you moaned. Reaching your high. Your eyes flutter closed and your mouth opens into a silent cry. Your hips buck against his face. Ulf holds your hips back and licks some of your sweet wetness from your hole. You let go of his head and open your legs to release him. He stands up again and licks his lips. His beard covered in your wetness.
He leaned closer and kissed you again. Tasting yourself on his tongue that pushed into your mouth. He urgently pulled his breeches down. His cock springing free. Gently he guided it between your legs. Between your folds. Covering his shaft in with your wetness. You had done these many times before. It felt differently tonight. Like you both already had decide were this was going. Ulf rested his forehead against yours. His breathing heavy. “I want you. Y/n. I cannot hold back anymore. I need us to be one. Please do not deny me”, he whispers hoarsely. His eyes searching yours.
Slowly you pulled out of his hold. Taking his hand to pull him with you. You searched for a good spot on the ground and then removed your coat. Placing it there. Looking at him, you also removed the last of your clothes. Your boots, breeches and tunic. The boots you placed away, as well as the breeches. He did the same. Removing all his clothes fully. Now you both were fully bare. The wind stroked your skin. Gooseflesh starting to show. “Lie down.” You looked at him. He was to busy starring at your naked form before he finally nodded. Lying onto the cloak he made himself comfortable as possible. You crawled on top of him. Each of your legs on either side of him. His cock resting beneath you.
Touching your wet folds. Ulfs hands go to your hips, and you smile down at him. Slowly you start to roll your hips. He moans and tries to position his cock at your entrance, but you slap his hand away. “No, not yet.” This was punishment.
Well, it was torture for you. You wanted him. So badly. However, you felt the need to punish him. He had done something stupid after all. Ulf pouted but soon his mouth was half open and his eyes fully focused on your boobs. You rubbed your folds against his shaft. Coating it with more of your arousal. Pleasure shooting through your body. This was delicious. No matter how often the two of you had done this, it would always feel good.
You took his hands that were holding your hips and lifted them to your breasts. Then you focused on rubbing your clit against his tip. A moan leaving you. Your breathing turning heavier. Ulf kneaded your breasts. Played with your nipples. Pleasure shotting down your core. Making you clench around nothing. “Fuck!” You were close to your second orgasm. Ulf was a mess beneath you. “Please Y/N. Please. I need to be inside of you”, he begged. You looked down at him with half open eyes.
He looked so hot right now. Enough torture. You could not wait any longer either. Lifting yourself up you took a hold of his cock. Eyes locked with his when you put his tip inside and sunk onto him fully. You both moan in unison. His cock filling you up perfectly. Slowly you start to roll your hips. “Y/N! Seven Hells!”, Ulf cursed. Thrusting upwards and hitting a spot inside you that made you see stars. Clenching around him you focused on moving in a rhythm. Ulf gazed at you through half lidded eyes. Taking hold of your hips again he helped you. “Just like that! You are doing great!”, he moaned. His eyes going down to your breasts, fascinated by the movements they were making.
Moving faster you lowered your hands on his chest. Giving him a kiss.
His nails dig a little in the flesh of your thighs, and he licks over your lips. “I do not deserve this”, he mumbled. You shook your head. Moving a little harsher. Your hands cupping his face. “No Ulf. You do deserve this. We deserve each other”, you whisper against his lips. He groans and you see the tears building in his eyes. “I love you Ulf. I will never leave you and I hope you will never leave me too.” Ulf groans and kisses you. His lips moving skilful against yours. His hips thrust upwards more urgently and you cannot hold back your second orgasm. Screaming his name at the top of your lungs. Ulf follows soon after. Filling you up with his seed. Painting your walls white.
You were one now. Lying on top of him you catch your breath. So does he. The silence of the night fills you. Well, the woods were never silent. You liked this. “I love you too, Y/N”, Ulf whispered.
He kissed your brow and stroked your back gently while you gazed upwards. The trees blocking out most of the sky. “What now?”, Ulf asked. You lifted your head and smiled at him. “Now. Now we live together.”
Leaving Tumbleton and the woods behind was easy. You had dressed and went to Morghal. He was not far. Waiting patiently. Getting onto to him you flew into the sky. Ulf hugging you tightly from behind. You flew over Silverwing who woke up and followed you into the sky. On the ground you could see some Knights starting to scream. By then it had already been too late. You were already far gone, up in the skies.
“Mother is it true that I could have been a lord?”, your son asked you. You smile at the little boy and nod. He had all the Targaryen features. His hair, silver gold. Expect for his eyes. They were Ulfs. Ulf snorted and continued cooking meat in the pan that was above the fireplace. You had just finished placing out your makeshift beds beneath the sky. Silverwing and Morghal resided close. Sleeping. It was a perfect atmosphere tonight.
After you had left, you and Ulf had decided to leave Westeros behind. You also did not fly to the free cities or Braavos. You had chosen to fly somewhere, where no one could find you. A few years have passed since then and you got blessed with your boy. Now living nowhere, with none but the three of you, you were happier than you had ever been.
You have no idea if the war was over. Sometimes you think about them. Your father. Was he still alive? Were they well? Your sisters and many more. Sometimes you think about the ones who you had lost during the war. Jace and Luce. You choose not to think about them to often. They are together and free. You have found your peace. So have they. Still from time to time, you pray. May the gods watch over them and protect them.
“Love what have you told our little boy again?” You look at him and raise your eyebrow. He just lifts his hand in the air. “Just the truth. He was curious about our past and how we have met. You know that Xaeron is curious. He has that from you.” You smile at Ulf and sigh. A small chuckle leaving your lips. That feels like a lifetime ago. You gaze at your son and smile. “Yes, you could have been. Would that have made you happy?” Your boy looks at you.
Knitting his brows together like he was thinking.
“No. But I want to be a Dragonrider. Just like you and father!”, he announced. You chuckled and pulled him into your arms. Kissing his forehead. “Maybe one day.” You smiled at Ulf. He smiled back. Morghal and Silverwing had gotten closer. There was a slight possibility that there might be clutches of eggs one day. However, you never resided at a place for to long. Always moving. That was the price you had paid, and you are grateful you did. Every single second of your day you are grateful. They are all you need.
Your boy jumps out of your arms and rushes towards his father. Tackling him with kisses. Has it really been four years already? Time flies by in the blink of an eye. Xaeron has grown so much already. You remember his first cry, his first crawls and steps. You gaze up at the sky. A small smile forming on your lips. This here, is where you felt at home. Home. Ulf was your home. He always has been and always will be. “Mother! The food is ready!”, your boy cheered. You chuckled and shook your head. This was where you always had meant to be. Together you enjoyed the cooked meat and laughed. Smiling at Ulf you take his hand in yours. He smiles back at you. No place had felt more like home than this. “Y/N I love you.” You gazed into Ulfs eyes and leaned closer. Pressing a kiss onto his lips. “I love you more”, you hummed. Kissing him again, deepening the kiss. “Ewww…” Xaeron looked at the two of you, pure look of disgust on his face.
You broke out into laughter. This was all you ever needed. Your small family.
