#humoir

[terrypratchettparadise]

"The vampire gave her the kind of smile only a vampire can give.  It would have been sheepish, if sheep had different teeth."

- Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment

[imthejokercard]

*scrolling through tumblr and some pictures won’t load*

Sister: what are you doing?

Me: scrolling through tumblr

Sister: what’s all that?

Me: some pictures won’t load

Sister: oh that’s what it looks like?

Me: mmhmm

Sister: it looks like when you’re choosing a colour of paint for your house.

Me: 😐

[sexysemservulgar-oficial]

Enquanto o crush de vcs esta na balada agora pegando todo mundo, vcs estão sofrendo aqui no tumblr

[ask-stiles-and-pack]

Liam: hey Mason guess what?

Mason: you fell in a hole again?

Liam:*gives bitchface* NO! why do you always have to bring that up?

Mason: bro, im never letting you live that down

[onlyincanadayousay2]

Waiting for spring in Canada Meanwhile in canada

[terrypratchettparadise]

"Rincewind was the least senior member of the faculty.  Indeed, the Archchancellor had made it clear that in seniority terms he ranked somewhat lower than the things that went ‘click’ in the woodwork.  He got no salary and had complete insecurity of tenure.  On the other hand, he got his laundry done free, a place at mealtimes and a bucket of coal a day.  He also had his own office, no one ever visited him and he was strictly forbidden from attempting to teach anything to anyone.  In academic terms, therefore, he considered himself pretty lucky."

- Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen - The Globe (Science of Discworld 2)

[terrypratchettparadise]

"The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. They are so much brighter that they soon realised that the most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendants not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships or being patronized rigid by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it. So they long ago plumped for a lifestyle that, in return for a certain amount of porterage and being prodded with sticks, allowed them adequate food and grooming and the chance to spit in a human's eye and get away with it."

- Terry Pratchett - Pyramid

[terrypratchettparadise]

"It used to be so simple, once upon a time. because the universe was full of ignorance all around and the scientist panned through it like a prospector crouched over a mountain stream, looking for the gold of knowledge among the gravel of unreason, the sand of uncertainty and the little whiskery eight-legged swimming things of superstition.

Occasionally he would straighten up and say things like ‘Hurrah, I’ve discovered Boyle’s Third Law.’  And everyone knew where they stood.  But the trouble was that ignorance became more interesting, especially big fascinating ignorance about huge and important things like matter and creation, and people stopped patiently building their little houses of rational sticks in the chaos of the universe and started getting interested in the chaos itself – partly because it was a lot easier to be an expert on chaos, but mostly because it made really good patterns that you could put on a t-shirt."

- Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad