mashed up canon background because why not. Billy is more like the film one tho. pre identity reveal
Billy: aw shucks
John: *pushes himself against the dashboard* you sure you can drive?
Billy: Yeah! *being slammed back against the car seat*
John: ‘cause the tree you just hit begs to differ
Billy: oh shut- *both yelp as the car suddenly accelerates* you want to drive?
John: . . . *can’t drive to save his life* no. how did Batsy let you drive his car?!
Billy: it was under strenuous circumstance.
John: c’mon, he’s gotta have fifty contingencies no matter how stre- oh my God the cat don’t hit the cat!
*the car screeches to a halt, said cat glares at the two of them extremely judgmentally then trots off*
Billy: phew
John: I think the cat just gave us the middle finger in a cat way. if it can flip us off it definitely did
Billy: ok I got the message
John: you sure you do? in case you don’t, the three peddles under you ginormous feet all have their purposes and should not be crushed with your strength of Hercules!
Billy: oh shut up! no one likes a back seat driver!
John: honestly I feel safer if I’m actually on the back seat
Billy: *fumbles and steps on the wrong peddle again* why there are three wHY THERE HAVE TO BE THREE
Solomon in the background: they all have their purposes
Billy: shut up! you want to take over? *John opens his mouth but gets cut off* not talking to you
John: Solomon?
Billy: yeah. how do you know?
John: *in a louder voice* bugger off Solomon! there’s no baby for you to cut in half !
Solomon: *fading in the background* that joke stops being funny 200 years ago
Billy: you really don’t want to take over?
John:
Billy:
John:
Billy: I was talking to you!
John: yeah I know.
Billy:
John:
Billy: *the car slams the both of them against the seat yet again* c’mon, man! how is this so hard!
John: by the rate we are going the bad guys would hit freeway by now. it would’ve be faster if you have just flown
Billy: but you can’t
John: and your first instinct when they drove away was “how about I jack this car I don’t know how to fucking drive”. you jacked this car way too fast, you know that right, squire?
Billy: no one alive calls people that
John: you would be surprised
Billy: *still driving* so what now
John: *being slammed yet again* you can fly. I think subtly’s out the window, run over, and torn to pieces, and drifting in the wind by now
Billy:
John:
Billy:
John: do nOT-
Billy:
John: oh fu-
Billy: *picks up John with the speed of Mercury and flies* I’m taking your advice!
Billy drove Batmobile asked by Batman from the Lego film Shazam: Magic and Monsters;
John can’t drive to save his life from DCeased;
John can’t drive, in general, never.
