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sirius: bad news - reggie locked himself outside of his and james’ house.

sirius: good news - we didn't have to wait around for a locksmith.

sirius: bad news - james finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. i was too embarrassed to admit that the reason i learned it was because, at thirteen, i figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys.

sirius: good news- a cute guy saw me do it.

sirius: bad news - it was remus, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because i saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows i can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think i’m cool no matter what i do. it's too late. he knows.

marlene: you’re a fool.

regulus: do NOT tell james about this

remus: you want me to LIE to james???

regulus: is that a problem?

remus: lol no

remus, commenting quidditch: if anyone’s keeping track of how many times potter has been distracted by the slytherin seeker and missed the quaffle so far in the match my count’s eleven

remus: in other news sirius black wants me to publicly state that if gryffindor chaser potter doesn’t take his eyes off his brother and start scoring he will piss in potter’s cornflakes for the rest of the year

#harry potter #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #regulus black #wolfstar #jegulus #starchaser #marauders #marauders era #lily evans #peter pettigrew #incorrect marauders #incorrect quotes #incorrect marauders era #incorrect harry potter #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect jegulus #incorrect jegulus quotes

*Sirius and James sitting in jail together* James: So who should we call? Sirius: I'd call Remus but I feel safer in jail James: Yeah, I'd call regulus but I don't think I'll make it through the day alive if I do that